You, Jimin, and Jungkook sit around the coffee table in the living room. Jimin, stuck in your womanly body, glares at Jungkook with a burning passion. Jungkook looks down in defeat as he rubs an uncooked egg over his black eye Jimin gave him earlier. You, stuck in Jimin’s body, try to piece back together Jungkook’s broken glasses. Everybody sits in utter silence.

“AHHHH!!!” Jimin’s girlish scream echoes throughout the dorm. You and Jungkook both stare up at the raging woman. “HOW COULD THIS HAPPEN?! I’M STUCK INSIDE A GIRL!!—AND SHE’S STUCK INSIDE OF MEE!!” Jimin points his dainty polished fingers at you.

“Let’s try to reasonable,” you say. “This happened after our black out from making that concoction of a jam last night. Maybe if we reenact it, we’ll be back in our own bodies. I mean, surely you’ve seen Secret Garden, right?” You chuckle in your low husky voice.

“It’s not funny.” Jimin glares at you. “I—my body—has stuff to do. I’m not someone who can just sit around and drink coffee all day.” You scoff.

“Like I am?”

“Well, I don’t know. What do I know about you, really? San, was it? You could be some kind of voodoo witch for all I know! Or maybe you and this nerdy—“ Jimin hesitates as he takes a good long look at the handsomely evolved Jungkook changing out his bloody tissue from his nose. Jimin lowers his voice. “You guys could be in this together to sabotage me.” You slam down on the table, resonating a bigger sound than you calculated. You’re still not getting used to this sudden power.

“Just like you, sir, I have a life. Sure it may not be all glamourized like yours with high end celebs and personalized makeup artists, but it’s just enough. I am my own manager of my own life.”

“That sounds fabulous,” Jimin says sarcastically. You and Jimin both sigh at the same time, arms crossed against the chest. “Let’s just hurry up and start making the jam.” He gets up and start to gather the ingredients.

The first batch concluded of jalapenos, orange juice, cayenne pepper, strawberries, and brown sugar.

The second batch concluded of strawberries, oreos, black pepper, water, sugar, and sesame seeds.

The third batch concluded of strawberries, jalapenos, coconut water, sugar, and tartar sauce.

Nothing works.

Ultimately, you, Jimin, and Jungkook have contacted the studio but they wouldn’t pick up.

The three of you guys are once again sitting in the living room in mere silence.

“So, what now?” You look over at your body and noticed how much your shoulders are hunch over. Your muscular arms reach out and grab unto your firm shoulders, trying to straighten up your back. Jimin flinches as you see your own eyes widen in shock.

“Wh-What are you doing?!” Your grip tightens, making Jimin shrivel up. “It hurts!”

“It’s my body! Stop slouching!” You say, hitting him on the back.

“Well, it’s not my fault that you have all this flab up here!” Jimin squeezes your s to show off the “flab”. Jungkook spews out his drink, seeing sudden s.

“What are you doing?!” You roar. “Don’t touch my s!”

“Well, they’re right here! What do you want me to-“ You reach over and smack Jimin across your face. Jimin holds the stinging cheek as you see him tear up.

“This is domestic violence! I’m going to call-“

“And what? Report yourself?” Jimin stares at you and freezes.

“Touché.” He murmurs before putting back down his phone. “AHH!” He screams, ruffling your long brown hair in a jumbling mess. “PD-nim!” Jungkook’s eyes widen as the two of you glare at him. “Does this even make sense to you? Why aren’t you saying anything?” You go over and sooth out your hair. Jimin pushes you off, not caring about appearance.

“I-I. I have failed as a producer, right?” You look over at Jungkook sulking. You and Jimin look at each other and back at Jungkook who’s now wriggling his beautifully structured nose.

“You —“ You hit Jimin in the pit of the stomach making him grab unto your exploding stomach fat.

“I’m sure everything will figure itself back out. I mean, there must a solution, right?” Jungkook looks up squinting his eyes a bit. “We just have to figure out how to be each other for the next couple of days is all..”

“What are you saying? That’s not possi-“

“Okay!” Jungkook chimes. You and Jimin both turn your head at the young PD. “This could work!”

“This can’t work. I can’t be a girl! She can’t be me!” Jimin whines. You scowl at Jimin. “She doesn’t know anything about being me.”

“I can’t believe I ever considered you to be my bias. You’re so whiney.” Jimin’s mouth pops open.

“Whiney?! I’m not-“ he stops himself. “How are you going to dance?”

“She won the dance competition.” Jungkook confirms.

“Taehyung’s part.”

“I can learn yours. I’m a part time dance instructor.” Jimin pauses, stumbled by Jungkook and you who have a solution for everything.

“Can you sing?”

“The question is, can you?” Jimin sighs.

“I’m BTS’ charm! I’m—“

“Sweet, caring, funny, and a little bit narcissistic?” You list out Jimin’s best qualities. Jimin stops.

“That’s exactly what I am.”

“I know and I will try my best not to give away anything else but exactly that.” You give Jimin a reassuring smile. You see your shoulders relax as Jimin starts to surrender.

“But what about you? I mean, me? I can’t live with your roommates.” You chuckle, knowing exactly what he’s getting at. “Did you know your roommate’s boyfriend comes home drunk at 3:24am? Let’s just say it gets pretty rowdy and it makes me feel very uncomfortable. How do you even live there? It’s like a—“

“Castle?” You chime.

“No. I’m not going back to your room where a thousand Taehyung is staring at me the whole time.” Jimin’s referring to the posters around your room. “For a second, I actually thought I woke up in my room seeing Taehyung stare back at me.” You smile, thinking of how much more handsome Taehyung is in real life.

“You don’t really have a choice—“

“She—I mean, Jimin hyung can come live with me.” Jungkook states from the sidelines. Once again, you and Jimin’s necks snap to the side and stare at Jungkook in confusion.

“Are you a ert?” You and Jimin say simultaneously. Jungkook frantically waves his hands denying his erted instincts.

“No! It’s just—It seems like San—I mean, Jimin stuck in your body will have a hard time for the moment.” Jungkook holds up his cell phone to show us the headlines: “Guest ARMY from episode ‘Finding Jimin’s Jam’ poisons Jimin to die”. You see a clip attached of angry mob of ARMY standing in front of your house petitioning for you to be thrown into jail.

“This is ridiculous!” You scream into the phone.

“I’m too young to go to jail!” Jimin screams.

“I just think it’d be best if you stayed with me for the time being.” Jungkook restates. You look over at your body. Jimin does not know the first thing about being a woman. He sits with your legs wide open and arms pressed in between your thighs so your s are revealed a bit too much. You see a bulge of your stomach fat escaping from top of your jeans because he refuses to sit properly. You sigh as you pull your dripping sweater back unto your shoulders.

“Please take care of my body for the time being.” You say looking into your eyes.

“You do the same,” Jimin murmurs. “I’m trusting you not to touch my members inappropriately.” You blush, thinking of Taehyung and the half- sleeping J-Hope from this morning. Jimin flicks your forehead and looks deeply into your eyes as he holds unto his own face. “I’m serious. Don’t touch me inappropriately.” You finally realize what he’s getting at.

“YOU ERT!!!!”