It had been a long and rough day for you and you were so happy you could finally head home and relax. After having classed from nine to six and having to finish your homework in the library you really just wanted to do nothing for a moment. Your mind was tired of concentrating and thinking and for the first time this year you felt as if you were tired of everything. You no longer wanted to go to school, you no longer wanted to make homework, you no longer wanted to do everything because you had to do it but because you wanted to. At least Taehyung would be there when you got home and maybe you could cuddle with him a little, you were sure that would make you feel a lot better. It wasn’t always easy for the two of you since he had a tight schedule and he was an idol but for the past six months your relationship had made a good stand against all the rude commands or hardships which you had had to get through. 

You loved Taehyung, with your whole heart and you couldn’t think of a life without him anymore. He had become to be such a big part of your life in such a short amount of time. He always knew the right things to say and he always made you smiled if you were feeling bad, which you needed today. You drove back to your apartment which you shared since a month ago. It had been a big step from him, asking him to move in with him and get a place together. He had been so nervous, afraid you’d turn him down, afraid he was moving too fast. But the only thing you wanted to do was be with him and since you didn’t saw him that often, living together seemed perfect to you. It had been a real adjustment though, being with each other all the time, taking care of each other. But after you had both gotten used to it, it did no longer form a problem. You knew Taehyung inside and out, he was no longer a mystery to you. 

When you finally parked your car and made your way up the stairs you were feeling a little bit tensed. You had no idea what it was, but something about the air seemed different today. You shook your head, telling yourself to get over it and act normal. Seemed like that history project had made you lost your mind, you sniffed at the thought. You looked for your key in your bad and opened the door in no time, so happy to finally be home after such a long day. You kicked off your shoes, to tired to loosen up the shoelaces and walked in. When you saw Taehyung lying on the couch with one of his arms covering his eyes your heard fluttered in your chest. He was the cutest thing you had ever seen, you couldn’t get enough of him. “Taetae…” You called out and waited for any kind of reaction. Normally when you’d see each other after such a long time he’d sit up and look at you a little dazed, waking up by the sound of your voice calling out for him. Or he would smile with his eyes closed, trying to pretend like he was asleep but not being able to hide his happiness because you were finally home. 

But today you didn’t get any kind of reaction of him at all. He just laid there, on the couch, not looking at you nor greeting you back. You frowned and immediately a feeling of concern got over you, what if he wasn’t feeling well? You dropped your back on the table and made your way over to the sofa, slightly hovering over him to check on him. His face didn’t look pale, though the skin underneath his eyes seemed to have a little darker color than usual. He looked exhausted and you thought about letting him sleep. He needed to rest, he and s had gone through a rough time lately and you wanted him to think about his health. It wasn’t good for him if he always had to sleep shortly in dressing rooms before a concert or shoot and you didn’t want him to give up his sleep for you. As quiet as you could be you pulled a blanket from the back of the couch and covered him up. You let out a squeal when suddenly someone grabbed your wrist and looked down on the boy under you. Taehyung blinked his eyes at you, as if he had no idea where he was at the moment and seemed seriously confused. 

Then his eyes landed on you and he smiled softly, stretching his arms out in front of him and peeping softly, it made your heart melt. He let go of your wrist just as fast as he had held onto it and tried to sit up, but you shook your head, placed your hand on his chest and pushed him back down. “What are you doing?” He asked and shot you a questioning look while grabbing your hand and getting it off him. That frown on his forehead, those dark circles under his eyes, that death look inside of his eyes, it made you worried as hell. “You should sleep a little, you look exhausted.” You mumbled and he scoffed at you as he sat up and buried his hands in his hair, his elbows leaning on his knees. You had no idea where that sudden reaction came from, you only wanted to take care of him. “I’ll be fine __________-ah.” He said but there was a slight sound of annoyance inside of his voice which made you feel a little bit suspiciously. Once again you shook your head and you tried to convince him to have a rest, but he blocked all your wills to help. 

“I said I was fine!” His voice raised a little and he stood up from the couch, throwing the blanket off himself which you had laid on him with so much care. His behavior bothered you, normally Taehyung wasn’t someone who was this jumpy and frustrated all of a sudden. It was another reason for you to know that he was running out of energy. You didn’t want him to get a burn out or to cross the line for his body, he had to take better care of himself. “You’re not fine Taehyung.” You threw back and he looked at you with squeezed eyes, it was almost threatening and you felt goosebumps appear on your skin. “How can you know that better than I know it myself?! I know myself better than you think __________-ah and I’m telling you that I’m feeling fine. Why are you being like this?” He asked it as if it was weird for you to react like this, as if you shouldn’t be asking him to take a rest. “Because i’m worried about you that’s why!” 

For the first time in this conversation you raised your voice at him and he didn’t seem to pick that up very well. It seemed to make him even more thwarting than he had been at first. “I can take great care of myself you know!” His face showed you anger by now and you had no idea what you had done to deserve a treating like this. Had you done something wrong, had something happened? Why was he trying to push you away and shut you out? “Tae, I’m your girlfriend! What do you expect me to do?!” You asked, being totally desperate about knowing why he was behaving like this. This was not Taehyung, where was your bright and bubbly boy? He shook his head at you and wanted to walk away from you, but you grabbed the sleeve of his sweater and held him back. The action didn’t seem to make him much happier and he harshly pulled it out of your grip, making you pull your hand back in surprise. You clenched your hand against your chest while eying him, waiting for him to say something. 

Just when you thought he was about to apologize for his silly behavior he fired back at you. “As my girlfriend I expect you to understand __________-ah, why can’t you do that?!” He was still screaming at you and you were scared the neighbors were able to hear, the walls weren’t that think around here. “Than tell my what I should understand! Tell me whats wrong Taehyung!” By this time you were screaming as well and the fact that you were both raising your voices against one other made that you were both getting carried away in this whole thing. You couldn’t believe you were having a fight over something like this. “Never mind, you wouldn’t get it anyway.” His voice was so cold that for a second you felt as if you were in a freezer. Right, you wouldn’t get it, because after all you didn’t live in his world, you weren’t an idol. Even though his command felt like knives cutting you, you still went on, you wanted him to tell you what was bothering him. 

“Taehyung, I’m your girlfriend! If I’m not able to understand you than who is?!” Did that title mean nothing to him? It wasn’t just being nice and caring for him. It wasn’t just cooking for him or cuddling with him. It wasn’t just the kisses or the hugs or everything else. Being a girlfriend also meant trying to get your boyfriend through a hard time, trying to talk to him about difficult things, but it seemed like he didn’t think of it like that. “I don’t know! Jesus, why are you being like this?!” He asked again as he pulled his hair in frustration and shot you a furious look. “Because I love you… That’s why.” The volume of your voice had dropped to a whisper and all of a sudden you felt really fragile, as if one more word would be enough to break you into a thousand pieces. A silence fell over the apartment and Taehyung just stared at you for a moment, into your eyes which were filled with tears by now. Then he let out a big and long sigh before dropping his arms next to his sides and closing his eyes. “I’m sorry __________-ah.” he then said and you shook your head, as if you didn’t want to hear it. 

“What does it matter? I wouldn’t get it anyway.” With that you walked past him and wanted to walk towards your room, wanting to be away from this for a moment. But when you felt a long and strong arm capture your waist you looked up to the ceiling, trying to keep your tears from falling as you realized he wasn’t going to let you go. He pulled you back to him until your back met with his warm chest and you pressed your lips together when a sob threatened to escape from your throat. “I didn’t mean it like that. I’m so sorry babe, I’m just… I’m just so…” You knew he was struggling with his words so you waited for him to try and find the right ones. After a while he sighed and you felt his breath his against your ear. “I’m just so stressed and tired and I feel as if everything is going wrong and I just… I feel as if I’m useless. Did you ever have that before?” With a surprised look you turned around to face him and he had a sad look inside of his eyes. His face pulled together in a painful expression when he saw the tears on your cheeks and he pulled the sleeves of his sweater over his hands to wipe them away. “You’re not useless Tae, don’t you ever think that. You work so hard, you give your all and you would give everything to keep your fans happy. I know that and I’m sure they know it too. You shouldn’t pressure yourself that much.” 

He closed his eyes and he looked so tired, so weak, so pithless. You felt sorry for him, sorry that he always had to work so hard, that he had to push his body to the limits, that he had to give everything up to do what he loved. “I just feel as if I can’t do it anymore.” His voice cracked at the end of his sentence and you were overwhelmed when you saw tears in his eyes as soon as he opened them. “Taehyung…” You whispered barely audible and you placed both your hands on his cheeks. He stared into your eyes and you felt like crying too, seeing him like this, it killed you. “I’m sorry.” He said again, making you frown at him. “You don’t have to feel sorry. Everyone reaches this point at a sudden moment, this is your moment. It’s not your fault.” When the first tear fell from his eye you pecked it away and when you pulled back you saw he was smiling. You were glad you were able to make him feel better, even though there wasn’t much more you could do than talk to him. 

“Why don’t you rest a little now? You’ve got the time.” He looked at you for a while before nodding. You were happy he was finally caving in to your pleads. Once again you pulled him towards the couch and this time he willingly sat down. He looked as if he’d fall asleep as soon as his head would touch a pillow. You sat down beside him and without saying anything he placed his head on your lap and made himself comfortable. You giggled and pulled the blanket over him once again, knowing that this time he wouldn’t stop you. For a moment he played with your hand which was on his chest while your other hand combed through his bangs. Then his dark eyes looked up at yours, you sent him a soft look, one that said everything was going to be okay, that you weren’t angry… That you understood. It seemed as if he had been looking for that because he smiled peacefully at you before closing his eyes. In no time his breath became regular, his chest rose and fell in a steady pace. While looking down on your boyfriend you brushed his hair out of his face and placed a kiss on his forehead. “I love you…” You whispered and thought you could see his eyes flicker for a moment before he quietly said. “I love you too…”

Requested by 402414