When Baekhyun opened his eyes, blinking them very fast to try to dispel the sudden burst of clarity that had burned his retinas, leaving him temporarily blind, the first them that he saw was Sehun’s blank face staring back at him.

He the man was sitting on his bedside, on a chair, jaw finely encased between his own index and middle finger, simply staring at him, dark orbs burning holes on his soul. He wasn’t even saying anything, just staring at Baekhyun and that irked the smaller to no end. Baekhyun wanted to say something, anything, just to make the other male show anything but the blatant nonchalant expression that he was wearing but that would mean that he had to speak to Sehun and he had been avoiding that for the last days, for more reasons than it would appear, the main reason being the humiliation that he had been through the day that Junmyeon had been kicked out of the Manor.

Baekhyun didn’t want to speak to Sehun, the other male didn’t deserve it, nor did he want to keep on looking at the other’s perfect, unblemished and pale skin so, quite naturally, his face turned to the side to face the window.

“I was quite aware that you were not going to talk to me but aren’t you at least capable of facing me?” said Sehun, tone of voice perfectly even, not betraying any emotion.

Hearing that made Baekhyun immediately turn his face towards the older male, an angry scowl appearing on his face, contorting it and giving a less than angelic look.

“Now you are looking at me?” asked Sehun, voice lilting in mock surprise and eyebrows high on his forehead. “Are you done hiding and running away when things don’t go as you expected them?”

“Shut up!” retorted Baekhyun, voice raspy and low, clearly lacking some usage “What do you expect me to say? I am thrilled to see you after you shouted at me for making Junmyeon leave when it wasn’t even my fault. Do you know how that felt? Did you consider how I felt?”

“No, I didn’t not.” replied Sehun promptly “But you have lived in this house for about four months, give or take, and you actually know me better than that; you know that I don’t possess the emphatic skills, or even social skills, that the majority of the people seem to have, therefore I cannot understand nor identify when you are hurt because of something I have said or done. Reasonably, and knowing me, you should have come to me and explain it to me but you chose to run away. Luhan explained it to me why you felt hurt and I understood his reasoning, but this isn’t always about you Baekhyun, it was hard for me as well, since Junmyeon is still my best friend, despite the things he did and said. I am sorry that I took my frustrations on you, it was wrong of me and I should have reined my emotions better. But what is done is done.”

“I never complained about the way he treated me and I tried to comfort you but you didn’t let me. Who ran away from who?” asked Baekhyun.

“There is a difference between not handling their emotions and running away. You know that I have never ran away from you, if anything, these last few weeks, I have been running towards you, so don’t turn this around and try to act blameless. You know very well that I have been trying to approach you these days and you didn’t even want to see my face.”

“You have forbidden me from going to the places on this house I like the most.”

“Yes and yet, you are still sick. I didn’t do it to spite you but to try and prevent you from getting sick which didn’t work because here you are with a respiratory inflammation. You have been sleeping since last afternoon and everyone has been worried sick, including myself. You were hallucinating for a while and even ran away from home. You made everyone look after you in the street and we eventually found you out at the door of the animal shelter.”

Baekhyun looked both perplexed and indignant at words uttered by Sehun. He had no recollection from the day before, he didn’t remember a single thing from the moment he fell asleep on his bed, plagued by a headache that didn’t seem keen on going away, to the moment where he had woken up, a minute or two ago. The indignation came from the feeling that Sehun was trying to control his actions. In reality, Baekhyun was just being incredibly stubborn and he was refusing to acknowledge the concern and the guiding that the older was trying to express, albeit a little clumsily.

“You are not my father! Who are you to dictate what I can and can’t do, even when it regards my health? I feel trapped enough as it is, Sehun!”

“I know I am not your father!” growled Sehun, voice deepening and becoming angrier. “You don’t kiss your father nor do you him. But sometimes I wish I was because that way there wouldn’t be any kind of confusing feeling every time you are a round; I wouldn’t have the urge to kiss you whenever I see you and I could show you some kind of affection without you throwing it back on my face, doubting my motives.”

And that seemed to be the boiling point to Sehun because the tall man suddenly got up from his chair, looking angry and disappointed at the same time, making the chair fall with his violent and sudden move.

He turned his back on Baekhyun and walked to the door, not looking at the smaller male on the bed. Once he reached the door, he paused slightly, back straight and stiff before turning his head to the side, speaking clearly, in a clipped tone of voice.

“Jinki will be here shortly with your medicine and some food. Jongdae is on his way home and as soon as he arrives, I’ll send him up.”

“Sehun…”

“Rest.” he commented, ignoring Baekhyun’s pleading voice and closing the door gently behind him.

“But…”

“No buts,” stated Sehun firmly “you are not in the right condition for us to have a conversation and I am still waiting for you to swipe up the mess on your head and stop running away from me. I know what people say of me, I have been aware of it for years but I am someone you can talk to, even if I am not at socialization.”

Baekhyun stood, once again, alone in the room and it suddenly felt colder than before, as it had been once he had his fallout with Sehun over Junmyeon.

Most people thought that Baekhyun was a sweet little angel, and he was, to a certain point, but he was also a very proud, stubborn person with more secrets than the average human being. Never once he had expected to enter this house and to develop a sudden affection for the man who was known all over the world for being a very powerful shark; he could smell the blood and attack you without you expecting it, leaving you to die, That was Sehun, in a nutshell, stupidly powerful, insanely dangerous and with a personality that would cut you with a single look. And Baekhyun liked him, more than he should, more than could ever imagine than he would.

To makes things worse, or better, Baekhyun wasn’t sure, Sehun also felt something for him, Baekhyun wasn’t very good at anything romantic related but Sehun just had admitted it, not with the correct definitions but the meaning was just the same.

Over the last few days, Baekhyun had been trying to think about it, his whole relationship with Sehun, to search for a word that could fit and describe their awkward and strange relationship until he realized that he was labeling a feeling and you can’t label a feeling; how can you find a word that describes an entire relationship and quantifies whatever you have? So he settled on that, on the fact that he couldn’t label it.

However, those bottled up feelings, the ones he would only dared to talk about with Chanyeol, were beginning to become uncomfortable. He was afraid to voice them, he was afraid of Sehun’s reaction and his own reaction. His chest and his heart were bursting at the seam and he looked like a frazzled person trying to contain whatever escaped from it. It was funny that he was trying so hard to run away from Sehun when, in good reality, he was really hiding from himself.

The sound of the door opening and closing brought him to the present and he looked at Jinki’s smiling face. The man had a tray filled with medicine and a steaming bowl of what appeared to be soup.

“Sir Baekhyun, how wonderful it is to see that you are awake. Are you feeling better?”

“Yes, I am thank you for asking. Also, you should know that it is just Baekhyun.”

“I will call you Sir once more, as per usual.” replied Jinki with a playful wink that made Baekhyun let out a tiny laugh at the butler’s cheekiness which, in turn, made Jinki smile. “There is the miniature version of the smile that everyone likes so much, it is wonderful to see it again.”

“Thank you Jinki.”

“Yuna made a delicious chicken noodle soup and she asked me to tell you that she expects that bowl to be scrapped clean. You really need it, you have been sick and you sure need to replenish your energy and your strength. Also, you need to take your medicine.”

“Just leave the tray on top of the bed and I’ll eat it later…” replied Baekhyun absent mindedly.

Jinki clicked his tongue, obviously very displeased at Baekhyun’s answer; the smaller man needed to eat but he could see how the nurse’s head seemed to be somewhere else, lost in the same world that it some days ago. The butler didn’t want to see Baekhyun like that again; never again if he could, he should shine, like the little bundle of sunshine he was. Gently, as if he was afraid of overstepping his boundaries, Jinki approached the male and laid a hand on top of the other shoulder, speaking with all the sincerity that he could muster.

“Baekhyun,” he began, drawing the attention of the smaller male, startled at the usage of his given name by the butler “if I may give you a piece of advice, which is worth what it’s worth, I would advise you to talk with Sir Sehun. There is some kind of budding, if I can called it that, relationship between you two; it is obvious for any keen eye, especially if you take into consideration the subtle changes that Sir Sehun had gone through, and I can assure you that they are significant, even if it doesn’t seem so. However, that budding relationship, like a flower, either blooms or withers, and, at the moment, you are the one that can control it, since the ball is on your court. You really need to search deep inside yourself and understand what is this, what do you want from it and how do you want it to evolve. Only then can you give a step forward on the task that is untangling yourself from this immensely tangled ball of yarn that is your head and your thoughts. If you don’t do it you are bound to remain unmoving, caught up in the said ball or, in worst case scenario, go backwards and encase yourself in a protective shell. No one lives on ‘what’s’, ‘if’s’ or ‘might have been’s’ so don’t try to do so. Clear your thoughts, clear you mind, find the answers to your questions and then make a move and act on them.”

“But clearing your thoughts when you are so confused is hard…”

“Isn’t everything? If it was easy than it wouldn’t be so rewarding afterwards, would it? Also, no one is giving you a due date; you have time to think things through as long as you make a commitment and an effort to do so. But, don’t wait too long because sometimes people cannot wait for such a great amount of time and we should not leaving them hanging, on a matter of principle and respect to them.” replied Jinki gently, trying to comfort the obvious distressed younger male. “I leave you to ponder over my words and also, eat your soup and take your medicine; you have to take two of the blue box, one from the white one and another one from the yellow. Don’t worry about the schedules because we have it timed and know which time you are supposed to take them. You should rest too since a respiratory infection is no joke and it can develop into pneumonia if you are not careful.”

With a gentle pat on the other’s shoulder, Jinki left the room, not before resting the tray on top of Baekhyun’s lap, ordering a man to eat with a firm tone of voice, stating he was going to tattle on him if he didn’t eat enough, to Jimin, which was a really horrible threat if Baekhyun was honest, since the small woman would completely kill him.

When Baekhyun was alone, spoon in hand, he was left alone with his thoughts; his multitude of random thoughts that kept swimming around on his head. He had to talk to Sehun, as Jinki helpfully pointed out, but not today, today he was tired and still feeling achy all over, therefore that conversation had to wait. Hopefully, Sehun would have enough patience to wait a little, for him.

Sehun was despairing, it had been two days ever since Baekhyun had woken up and while the man had been better, aided by the medicine he had been taking, but he had yet to speak with Sehun, not even a word had been uttered in his direction by the smaller male. He heard, through the gossip that was going around in the kitchen, that Jinki had had a conversation with Baekhyun and that the male seemed to be returning to his normal self, the non-apathetic self, he mean.

That only had been helped with the arrival of Jongdae, who had taken the first plane home when he heard that Baekhyun had been missing and of Yixing and Chanyeol, who also had returned when they heard about their friend being sick.

As Chanyeol got home, brand new hearing aid on his ears, to coddle him immensely, acting older than he really was or, at least, older than Baekhyun, holding the smaller man in his arms and rocking him. Baekhyun wasn’t really sad, he was just confused and having the reassuring and very comfortable warmth of his best friend; Chanyeol’s hugs were the best ones, no lie about it.

Having Yixing there too was great, Yixing had a sort of brotherly vibe about him that made Baekhyun look at him like he looked at Kris. Yixing was reliable, trustworthy and, most importantly, he was loyal and Baekhyun knew he could count on him.

However, the person who he wanted to talk to the most was Jongdae. Baekhyun didn’t look at Jongdae as a best friend, like Chanyeol, or a brother, like Yixing, no. Jongdae was the reverse of Baekhyun’s coin. He and Jongdae had a lot in common, more than people would know.

“I am tired Jongdae.” he told Jongdae once the man burst into his room, a serious look painted upon his usually happy and smiling face.

“You are tired?” asked Jongdae slowly “How tired are you Baekhyun?”

“I am tired of everything: I am tired of hiding for the crazy mother; I am tired of seeing my brother going away, time and time again, on some mission; I am tired of missing him; I am tired of being cooped up inside of a house where I can feel myself slowly suffocating; I am tired of feeling powerless and hiding all the time and I am tired of lying to everyone.”

“And you like him…”

“And I like him!”

“Baekhyun…”

“I am sorry Jongdae but I never expected things to develop like this. I never expected to like him.”

“But you do and that complicates things.”

“I’m sorry…” apologized Baekhyun, closing his eyes tiredly.

“Don’t be sorry, you don’t have control over that, unfortunately. But that change a lot of things Baekhyun and you know it.”

“I know.”

“You have to make a decision. I will follow your lead.”

“But Jongdae…”

“I will follow your lead, Baekhyun; don’t worry about anything else, it is going to be okay, everything is going to be okay.”

“I cannot ask that of you Jongdae.”

“You aren’t anything more than I am willing to give, also you need to understand that you are not alone, they will follow you too and you know it.”

“Kris won’t have my back and you know it as well as I do.” snorted Baekhyun, rolling his eyes. “He has this ‘nigh-stand’ thing with Luhan, behind Sehun’s back, and everyone else’s for the matter.”

“Night-stand?” asked Jongdae smiling for the first time since he had entered the room.

“What else should I call it? They have every single time they are together but, the next day, they act like they are total strangers to each other.”

“What does Kris says about it?”

“When I confronted him about it, his answer was ‘Luhan is beautiful, elegant and has a very wicked side to him’. I did not want to disclosure the meaning of that phrase with him, as you understand, so my guess is that both of them are enjoying each other and the rest is history. But I also know my brother likes it more than he should to stop, because he is a blubbering idiot who likes Luhan and doesn’t realize it yet.” Baekhyun paused slightly before continuing “And maybe it is time for me to let him go and let him be happy. I have been selfish enough maintaining him by my side and making him go against his mother…”

“Baekhyun,” cut in Jongdae, hands coming to cup the other’s face “you didn’t force him to do anything, Kris have done it because he loves you. Just like I told you, whatever is your decision, you have people supporting you and you know that. Whatever happens I am here for you as they are, remember that. I am willingly giving you the opportunity to do whatever you want to, from this point on. As Jinki told you, and yes, I know about your conversation with Jinki, because I know everything, think really well about what you want to do and then communicate your decision to me.”

Baekhyun nodded, bringing a hand to lay upon Jongdae’s warm one, feeling a little bit comforted at the prospect of having such loyal friend to help him because he knew, he was certain, that this conversation was the door opening to the chaos that was about to follow.

Baekhyun decided to talk to Sehun in a dark night, after dinner, when Yixing deemed him good enough to be walking around on his own, all wrapped up on fluffy robes and warm sweaters.

When he entered the dark bedroom, Sehun was reading, sat on a chair, glasses elegantly placed on the bridge of his nose. He looked up from the book when Baekhyun padded softly inside the room, shadows dancing on his face, due to the low lights spread on the ceiling of the room, making him look a lot more handsome than he already was and Baekhyun’s resolve almost crumbled.

“How are you?” asked Sehun placidly, placing the book on top of the dresser that stood next to him, turning all his attention to Baekhyun.

“I’m better. Yixing says that I am doing better and I almost cured.” replied the smaller male, shuffling a little bit.

“What do you want from me Baekhyun? Are you going to stop running circles around my hand or are you going to let me approach without bolting away or snap at me?”

“I am not doing any of those things Sehun; I just want to talk to you.”

“About?”

“Us!”

Sehun paused his motions, stood up and approached Baekhyun, standing so near that the smaller had to bend his neck slightly in order to look at the older male.

“What about us?” he asked, voice so low that Baekhyun felt a shiver running through his body.

“I like you.” began the smaller of the two “That is pretty much established and I think you might feel something for me but I am honestly scared that you are going to have another opinion of me later on. You don’t know me that well and I fear that you are only blinded by some misguided thought or residual feelings for…”

“I’ll stop you right there.” cut Sehun, resting his hands on Baekhyun’s waist and effectively shutting him up. “This is no residual feelings for anyone, as I stated before you and Yoora are two very different people and what I felt with her is not the same as I feel about you, I am certain of that. Also, Baekhyun you can cast your fears aside, I’ll always protect you and I don’t mind you being temperamental, I like that about you, it is very charming.”

“I am not talking about that Sehun!”

“It doesn’t matter Baekhyun, I will still like you!”

Baekhyun wanted to protest, he wanted to reveal the truth and let Sehun judge him for what he had done but when Sehun’s lips descended upon his, harsh, demanding and extremely sensuous, Baekhyun’s resolve was erased from his mind. He kissed back just as desperately, just as wanting as Sehun did.

He wasn’t sure how one thing led to another but on one instant there were lips sliding against each other, brutally exploring every patch of skin available whenever there was a chance, and then there was a skillful tongue peeking out and complimenting said lips. The moment after the clothes came off until there were no more layers between them but skin.

Soft moans began to be heard, breaking the silent, completely in tandem with the broken whimpers that were punctuating it from time to time. It was the shallow breathing and choked up words that slipped through parted lips.

Never anything had felt to good, so right; the warmth of Sehun above him, the gentle caresses on his skin; it was heaven on Earth and Baekhyun held onto Sehun, arms wrapped tightly around his waist, enjoying the closeness. He felt happy, so happy to share this moment with Sehun, even if it wasn’t something that was going to happen on a regular basis, even if he only had tonight.

After a long time, Sehun gave a last grunt and collapsed on top of Baekhyun, careful not to squish Baekhyun and, as they came down from their high, Baekhyun cradled Sehun closer to him. The taller male kissed him languidly, unhurriedly, a very different type of kiss from those that they had shared in the beginning of their moment.

“I like you so much, so much.” mumbled Baekhyun “You don’t even know how much I like you.”

“The show me.” demanded Sehun softly, eyes locked into Baekhyun’s own, lips millimeters away from the luscious lips of the said male. “Show me how much you like me; demand my attention, make me beg for your attention, just show me how much I am missing whenever you aren’t in my arms. I’m halfway down the road to perdition and I have no intentions of turn back, show me the way and make me lose myself in you.”

Baekhyun let out a sob at the words, more so when Sehun, with a renewed vigor, began to make his body thrum again, lighting it up on fire and leaving him incapable to speak, only to feel.

Sehun woke up in the morning, body sore and tired but in an extremely satisfying way. Last night had been indescribable; the way that Baekhyun had felt, soft, pliant had filled his heart up, swelling it with a happiness that he thought that had been forgotten a long time ago. He the bed to give the smaller male a hug, he liked hugging the other’s comfortable body and feel the sensuous curves on said body but he found no one sleeping next to him; there wasn’t a sweet smile waiting for him, nor laughing eyes and he missed that perfect body.

On top of the pillow, where once were laying soft blonde was now a simple sheet of paper, words written on it. Sehun froze but picked up the paper regardless, dread bubbling up on his stomach, recognizing Baekhyun’s writing and he read it.

Sehun,

There are many things that I want to say to you. Things that I have to tell via letter because I am a coward and I am too scared of saying any of those in your face, partially because I don’t want to see your reaction, the thought of it, of imagining your face staring disappointedly or angrily is too much for me to bear, but mainly because I am ashamed of the way I behaved.

First of all, I think you deserve and explanation; an answer to why I am gone, because by the time you are reading this, I can guarantee you that I am far away; an answer to what is happening and how it began.

When you first met me, or at least when you heard about me for the first time, it hadn’t been the first time that I had heard about you. I had met you before, although not in real life but because Jongdae had told me all about you. I met Jongdae when I was in college, on an event we both attended, a charity event, he was representing you and I had volunteered to lend a hand to prepare the event. We became friends really fast since we have similar interests, points of view and even personality.

He told me all about the Oh estate and that he lived there for a long time since he had a troubled childhood, at the time he didn’t tell me what had troubled me as a child, I discovered that pretty recently. He was happy living with you until the moment you fired Jongwoon, he had been the first person that Jongdae ever loved and you fired him because you disapproved over their relation based on the fact that Jonwoon was your driver, as you said ‘society has different hierarchies that should coexist but never mix’ and that was the moment that Jongdae began to hate you. He hated you in such a way that you cannot understand because you destroyed the happiness that, after his childhood, he thought he could never have again. You broke him.

That anger and hate he felt towards you was only fed off because of the way you act; sometimes you seem like you don’t care and you say things and do things that hurt so much…he was really hurt and he wanted revenge.

That was when he contacted me; he thought that I was the perfect person for the plan he had. He thought I was the only person that could make you fall in love again, after Yoora and then break your heart. And that was exactly the plan, I was supposed to make you fall in love with me, madly and irrevocably, only to turn my back on you and show just how it feels to have a shattered heart. I said yes, because Jongdae is my friend and I wanted you to pay for destroying his happiness.

However, the plan was put on hold when Kris’ mom, Jia, began to hunt me down, that part is true and I cannot thank you enough for helping me and risking yourself to protect me and Kris against her and I beg you, even though I shouldn’t, that you keep protecting Kris, he knew nothing about this, he shouldn’t be blamed for it, nor take the consequences for my mistakes.

When Kris brought me to yours, both Jongdae and I were thrilled, this was actually better than we had predicted, especially because how you never noticed the little details between our relationship that could give us away in a blink, like how he latched onto me and I to him since day one, like the photograph he gave you were I was looking directly into the camera, all of those things.

I wanted to smash your face into a wall repeatedly when he met; you were every bit as nasty as Jongdae had told me and more. I disliked you so much. But, as cliché as it is, you showed me the better of you, the softer side and goddammit I wasn’t supposed to, but I fell for you. So hard! All that bull that I spouted about being confused was only true until a point, because I knew damn well that I liked you far too much. And that was the reason I talked to Jongdae. It was becoming unbearable to go on with this façade and trying to trick you when the only person I was tricking was myself. I can’t do that to you, not anymore, not at this point.

I am sorry for all the trouble that I caused, especially with Junmyeon; I guess he knew all along that I was bad news, that I wasn’t as angelic as I was appeared, that my intentions were wicked. Nevertheless, he was a jerk from pretty much everyone so my apologies only go so far. Especially since I know that it was him who gave him the drink that Siwon spiked. I guess he really wanted me out of there. There were more to his motives than just a pet hate for me but I wasn’t unable to solve that.

As you can figure it out, if not now, later on, I took some people with me. They were on my side, or so they say, and once again, I apologize for that. But mostly I apologize for playing with your feelings, for deceiving you in such ways and lying. I hope that you can forgive me one day.

I also wanted to say, even if you don’t believe me since I am a rooting liar, that I really do like you, in a way that I had never expected. You have conquered my body, my heart and my soul (forgive me the mushiness but I am a little…emotional right now.).

I hope I can see you again, somewhere in the future, until then,

Goodbye,

Always yours,

Baekhyun.

There was anguished, angered roar that echoed through the Oh Estate, breaking the silence and waking its occupants. It sounded exactly like a broken heart and that was precisely what it was.

A/N: Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand plot twist! Not everything was what it seemed! Did any of you expected this? There is still so much to come and hold on to your seats because things are only going to intensify!!!
I apologize for posting so late, I had this ready yesterday but, in my country, there in an event every year, around this time, where people gather around a really famous part of our capital city to watch the arrival of Santa Claus, and my goddaughter had been begging me for a long time for me to take her which I did, and I only arrived home now, where I had my pretty chapter saved!
i wish you all the best, be healthy, be safe and BE HAPPY!

The biggest, cuddliest hug that ever was, for all of you and lots of love.