As much as his body wanted to pick itself up, to walk itself to the coffee shop, he laid there on the couch. He knew he couldn't go. Taehyung probably wouldn't even be there anyways. He wished this could just all be a dream, or more so a nightmare. Just an awful nightmare, but one that he soon would wake from, and he could then easily go to the shop, sit down at their normal table. He could look into Taehyung's cheerful eyes and smile brightly himself because hell if he'd ever seen anything so beautiful.

That was the other part of it. As much as Jungkook would like to think that Taehyung was a just a great friend to him, he knew that wasn't it. He wanted so much more than that. He wanted to feel the boy's lips against his own, he wanted to hold hands with him, we wanted to fall asleep next to him, be with him so much that that lovely rectangle smile would comfort him in dark times, burnt into the back of his eyelids.

He hovered over his sketchbook. He needed to stop. He wanted to stop. But he continued, his pencil always to the paper, hand growing tired from gripping it like a lifeline.

Days were passing. Time was going by, precious minutes of his life, but he remained in his apartment, feeling so empty but not being able to eat.

Part of him wanted Taehyung to forget about him. Perhaps he'd be happier that way. He wanted that. Maybe if he left him alone he would forget. Then Jungkook would never make him cry again.

But another part of him longed, yearned. He tried to push it away.

Many more days passed. He felt sick, he'd eaten hardly anything in the past week, and somehow he hadn't had much sleep either.

Occasionally, Seokjin would knock, but he would ignore him, continuing to draw without more than a glance at the door. Seokjin's murmured caring questions and worries piled up in front of the door, only half heard by who they belonged to.

"Jungkookie, are you okay?"

"Please come out soon."

"I hope you're eating properly."

"Tae is going to be okay, you know."

"It's not your fault."

"I'm not mad at you, Jungkookie."

"Please try to be alright."

And he was trying. What he was doing was hurting him, but it would hurt so much more to try to forget.

*****

Yoongi leaned his head on Jimin's shoulder. "I'm just really worried," he told him, staring out gloomily at the fast falling snow through his window. Jimin took his hand, running his thumb over the back of it soothingly.

"I'm sorry this had to happen, but from what you've told me about Tae, he can get through anything. He's strong. He'll be alright," he reassured him soothingly. Yoongi's eyes fluttered shut; he was drifting off, finally, and it was all thanks to Jimin for being there for him. He smiled, snuggling closer in a silent thank you.

Just as he was about to fall into a deep, much-needed sleep, his phone went off loudly. He sighed deeply, wanting to ignore it, but Jimin leaned over slightly, looking at the screen before turning his head and nudging Yoongi's shoulder with his elbow, his eyes urgent. "Yoongi, it's Tae," he told him, and Yoongi was suddenly sitting up, alert.

Jimin handed the phone to him, and Yoongi picked up immediately.

"Tae!" he exclaimed quite loudly.

"Hi, Yoongi," the younger boy croaked on the other line.

"How are you doing?" the blonde asked, more calmly this time.

"I'm...I think...I'm starting to be okay."

"Thank god. You scared the hell out of me, you know."

"Yeah...I'm really sorry."

"Seokjin told me that you were thinking...about..."

"Hoseok," Taehyung finished.

"Y-Yeah."

"I won't say it doesn't hurt anymore. It does. But, I think...maybe I just..."

Yoongi listened in concern as Taehyung's voice wavered, and he had to take a second to compose himself.

"Maybe, I just need to be with someone."

"Well...I could come over if you want," he offered, glancing over at Jimin apologetically.

"I'd like that."

"Okay, little man. I'll be over soon. I'm gonna pick up some hot chocolate for us, just like when we were younger, yeah? As always, you'll have to make it, though. If you let me do it, I'll probably manage to cause nuclear fusion in your microwave or something."

Taehyung laughed on the other line, voice hoarse, but a warm feeling filled both of their hearts because this one precious time, it was real.

"Thank you, Yoongi."

"No problem."

Yoongi then hung up, stuffing his phone in his pocket. He looked over at Jimin again, eyes gloomy.

"I'm sorry, babe. I think he needs me right now."

"Don't be sorry. I get it. I want him to feel better," Jimin told him with a sad smile, giving his shoulder a rub. "Maybe sometime I can meet him," he added, standing up and looking for his coat.

"Yeah, sure. That'd be fun," Yoongi replied, imagining it playing out in his head. His mood lifted a little as he got up onto his feet, but then he realized something about the scene he saw in his mind. Sitting across from him and Jimin in the daydream, next to Taehyung with a sunshine smile on his face, was Jungkook. In that moment, he realized that from what this past couple of weeks had been like, perhaps if they did get together, Jungkook wouldn't be there with them.

What had happened between them?

*****

It'd been several weeks now. He stared at the ceiling, papers scattered around him in an embarrassingly large mess. This . It really, really .

But as always, he didn't know what to do about it.

"I'm such an idiot," he whispered to himself, shaking his head and rubbing his face with open hands. He'd finally responded to Seokjin, thankfully.

The older had yet again knocked on his door, but this time, he'd said something a little different.

"Jungkookie. Please answer me. I'm...I'm scared."

And finally, after all that time, he gave a sign.

"I'm here. Don't worry, okay?" he told him.

He remembered hearing a long pause, but then soft murmur of, "Thank you," his voice filled so unbelievably to the brim with relief. It had made guilt eat at Jungkook's heart, as if there wasn't enough of it there already.

But now, he lay there again. On the floor, completely useless. It had been three days since he'd eaten this time. Just like it used to, the freezing, empty feeling of his apartment was starting to get to him. His head rolled over slightly to the right, and his eyes read the time on the clock. 2:57.

He was going to go today. He just needed to go.

He lifted himself up onto his feet, grunting with the effort of pushing his fatigued body up with weak, shaky limbs. He did not bother getting anything to eat before grabbing his coat, and walking out of his home without even a pair of gloves to fight the freezing temperatures of that December.

When he stepped outside, though, he barely noticed the cold. His heart was set on its destination, and he walked quickly (as usual), his eyes watering from the chilly wind stinging them. It seemed like it was barely a few seconds before he was in front of the coffee shop, and pushing the doors open pointedly. But the feeling of time rushing past was a feeling he expected.

The feeling he was not expecting was the one that shocked through his veins when his head turned to their table, and he saw a certain someone sitting there, patiently waiting for him.

I was wrong.

---

Yoonmin. (╭☞'ิ∀'ิ)╭☞

(oh yes and thank you to every lil sweetie that listened to my cover last chapter - y'all are the bomb.com)

I hope you enjoyed this chapter ~ What do you think will happen next? Comment your guess :') See you soon! c: