why can't I write

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After that, their meetings just became more and more uncomfortable. Taehyung constantly had looks of fear and stress sparking through his expression, though he tried to pretend they weren't there. Jungkook never mentioned them, but he definitely noticed. What was it? He wished he had the courage to ask. But he just left it unacknowledged.

Maybe if I ignore it, eventually, it'll go away.

It was naive, stupid, he knew, but the side of him that was a coward was resurfacing. Every time he saw Taehyung, it began to stir up pain inside him. An unexplainable kind of pain that he'd never felt before.

However, he had started to lean on someone else for support. Sometimes, when Taehyung seemed particularly off, Jungkook's feet would carry him to Seokjin's door. The older man would smile, welcoming him in with no hesitation. Jungkook knew well by then that Taehyung was not a great at hiding his feelings, so he assumed that him and Seokjin didn't talk that often; the cheerful, vibrantly pink-lipped man almost never brought him up.

That day had just happened to be one of those days. He'd met up with his distressed friend, and noted how red and bloodshot his eyes were. When he'd quietly brought it up, Taehyung had whispered something almost incoherent, but it was along the lines of, "You're so much like him."

It had scared Jungkook more than he'd care to admit, and he found himself planted in front of Seokjin's place yet again. The door opened, and Seokjin had noted the empty look in the younger's eyes as soon as he'd seen them. "Hey, Jungkookie," he chimed brightly in an attempt to cheer him up. He stepped back, welcoming him inside.

"Hi, Seokjin," Jungkook muttered back, trying to brighten his expression as he entered. His hand brushed against Seokjin's, and the elder's eyebrows furrowed. It was so cold. Only then did it really strike him how late it was; usually Jungkook came to see him in the afternoon, but it was almost eleven.

He took Jungkook's hands into his, stopping in the dark front of his home with a concerned look on his face, and the boy gave him a stare of confusion. "Your hands are freezing. How long have you been outside?" he questioned, a dark, worried tone in his voice.

Jungkook's face contorted a bit, and he looked at the floor. "I don't know," he mumbled. Seokjin shook his head like a parent as he then continued into the living room. He sat down on the couch, patting the spot next to him as a signal for Jungkook to join him.

The younger obeyed begrudgingly, sensing a knowing vibe coming off of Seokjin. "What's wrong? There's obviously something," he remarked just as the thought rolled through Jungkook's mind.

Jungkook just shook his head. "Nothing," he lied. Seokjin expression turned gloomy, putting his hand on Jungkook's thigh. "I can't help you if you don't tell me," he murmured sadly.

"You don't need to help me. I'm just tired, is all," he insisted. "Well, if you're tired, don't let me stop you from sleeping," Seokjin remarked, knowing that was a lie.

Jungkook turned away to look out the window. "I...no, that's..." Seokjin put his fingers on the underside of his chin, turning his head so he was facing him. "Have you eaten?"he asked gently.

What was the point in lying? Jungkook shook his head, a little embarrassed that he was so incapable of taking care of himself. Seokjin sighed, standing up. "Come on."

Jungkook's eyes widened a little, guilt sizzling in his chest. "Oh, you don't have to-"

He was cut off. "I'm not going to let you neglect your health like this, Jungkook. I care about you, you know that right?" The words echoed deep into Jungkook's mind.

I care about you.

Shaking away the memory ringing in his ears, he stood up, expression like a puppy who'd been caught making a mess. "Yeah," he mumbled out. Seokjin began walking to the kitchen, and Jungkook just followed, knowing that Seokjin was going to feed him, whether he wanted him to or not.

He sat at the kitchen table, staring out at all the lights in the city. There were so many people, still awake. He wondered if Taehyung was one of them. Was Taehyung one of those lights he saw through the window? Was Taehyung awake, working hard though fatigue and emptiness ate away at him?

"Here." Seokjin's voice shook him out of his heavy thoughts, and he accepted the bowl that was set in front of him. It was stir fry; a simple recipe, but still, how had Seokjin made it so quickly? He gave him a questioning look.

"You were staring out that window longer than you thought," the elder commented, gesturing at the mess on his counters a few feet away. Jungkook looked at him graciously, apologetically. "You didn't have to do this for me."

"But I wanted to. Eat it before it gets cold, silly ," Seokjin teased, ruffling Jungkook's hair playfully. The younger smiled. He really liked Seokjin.

And his cooking's nothing short of amazing, Jungkook thought as he took his first bite, the man in question walking back into his little area to clean up the sample of chaos that he'd created on the surface of his counters.

He ate it up quickly, not realizing until then just how hungry he was. He looked back up when Seokjin set down a glass of water in front of him, sitting down in one of the other chairs at the classy glass table. "Drink," he ordered simply, and Jungkook knew better than to not do so.

He had to admit; he felt much better. Seokjin had a certain motherly feel to his attitude towards the situation, but Jungkook supposed that perhaps that was good. The things his mother would do for him when he felt down as a young child always helped more than anything else, and so he guessed nothing had changed in that aspect of him. Though he knew that Seokjin was far from a mother to him, maybe the elder could help fill that void in Jungkook's life that had been there, gaping wide since the incident when he was 12 years old.

When he was finished, Seokjin smiled in a certain soft victory. "Thank you," Jungkook murmured graciously. Seokjin nodded, eyes calm and loving. "Well, now that I really look at you, I think you do need some rest, Jungkookie," he remarked with finality in his voice, standing up. Jungkook stood up too, knowing where this was going.

He began to walk out into the living room again, Seokjin at his side. When they reached the door, Seokjin said, "Hey," quietly. Jungkook stopped, looking at him expectantly.

The look in Seokjin's eyes was soft, caring. "Try to get some rest, okay?" he offered. Jungkook dispelled the switched position déjà vu from his brain as soon as it had begun to creep in. "I will," he assured him.

And minutes later, he was in his own bed again. He stared up at the ceiling, the warm feeling that had been resting in his heart starting to fade away. A certain someone was leaking into his thoughts again, and he sighed heavily. He would help Taehyung. Soon. Soon, he was going to say something. His eyes shut, and he bit his lip softly, already beginning to gather courage the best he could.

He just wanted to see his Taehyung happy again.

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I like writing scenes with Eomma Jin in them. Idk. It makes me happy. This chapter is kinda random and boring though cRiEs. The next chapter something actually happens though; I've got it planned out and have started to write it so I'll update in like a few days

You're welcome to scream at me your frustration with this story and me; I will not take it personally.

Well, regardless I hope you enjoyed this chapter ~ I can't believe this beautiful chaotic mess is almost at 2k. thank you guys so much <3