SURPRISE

IT ME

OKAY SO I DID A COVER OF BUTTERFLY OMG. I think I got a couple lyrics wrong and messed up a few parts but oH WeLL. I'd really love and appreciate it so so much if you guys could listen to it. Like it'd seriously mean a lot. <33

link: http://youtu.be/FlXuDXVrquU

Okay, back on topic. Lots of italics in this chapter. You might want to read the end of the last one again before you read this one.

I deeply apologize in advance

Please don't read this if you can't handle dark stuff <3

---

"Tae! What's up?"

But Seokjin's brightness faded when he heard only sniffling and choked inhales on the other line.

"T-Tae? Are you alright?" he tried cautiously, though he knew the answer.

"I-I don't...d-don't want..." His sobs were preventing him from forming coherent sentences, and what he could get out he stuttered weakly.

Seokjin's eyebrows furrowed deeply in concern, and he sat up a little. "What's wrong? Tae, what's happening?" he begged for answer.

"Jungkook...I c-can't...H-Hoseok..."

Seokjin froze. He hadn't heard him say that name in a long time. "What did Jungkook do?" he demanded. Did the boy say something to him? Something that would hit him this hard? He felt anger and betrayal burning in his lungs; he'd trusted Jungkook.

"I...I don't th-think he...I j-just...I'm s-sorry," Taehyung choked out.

"I'm coming over," Seokjin announced protectively, standing up to go get his coat.

"No! N-No. P-Please don't," Taehyung pleaded, hiccuping. Seokjin shook his head to himself; he shouldn't even listen to his brother's begging, but his desperate voice, his desperate words stopped him nonetheless.

"Tae..." he felt a lump in his own throat. "Please try not to think about it. Everything will be okay. Please...please be okay. I love you, little brother," he choked out, pushing away tears. There was a small pause.

"I...l-love you too," a small murmur was heard through the line. Seokjin smiled very faintly, then hung up, promptly walking out the door with a destination in mind.

Jungkook's home.

*****

"Are you alright? Do you want some water? Or would you rather stay here?" Taehyung murmured softly, voice concerned and quiet but still overpowering the muffled weeping into his shoulder.

"Stay here with me for now," Hoseok choked out as he tightened his hold on Taehyung if possible, fingertips pressing desperately into his back and head buried into his shoulder because right now the wonderful boy was all that he had. "Okay," Taehyung responded weakly. He'd never seen his best friend this way before; Hoseok had kept his panic attacks a secret for a long time. It hurt, watching his cheerful self melt into tears and shaking.

"Are you sure you're okay? I can do anything, anything you want," he told him softly, trying to get rid of the lump in his throat as he raised his hand to run his fingers over and through the hair on the nape of Hoseok's neck comfortingly. Hoseok shook his head slightly in Taehyung's shoulder. "I just need you," he responded shamelessly, his breath spreading warmth into the sleeve of his friend's shirt. Taehyung wished he could ignore the shakiness of that voice.

They stayed that way for a long time, silence filtering through the house save for quiet sniffles. But eventually, the sniffles stopped, replaced by soft, steady breathing. "Are you alright now?" Taehyung whispered. Hoseok nodded this time, and the younger could feel it. Very gently, Taehyung moved Hoseok away from his shoulder so they looked each other in the face.

"Hey, I hope you know that none of this is your fault. I'm here for you, okay?" he told him honestly. Hoseok nodded, face still looking pained. "I love you," he said, voice not completely stable yet, and somewhat hoarse from crying.

"I love you too. Can you promise me something?" Taehyung asked as he slipped his fingers through Hoseok's and ran his thumb over the back of his startlingly bony, skinny hand. Hoseok's eyes widened a little, but he nodded.

"Promise me you won't ever leave me," he whispered, looking far into Hoseok's pupils and searching for dishonesty.

"I...I won't let you be alone," Hoseok promised, voice wavering less this time. Taehyung smiled, leaning forward to place a small kiss on his forehead. "Thank you. I couldn't stand to lose you."

But just then, another voice echoed through Taehyung's head. "I won't let you be alone," Jungkook's voice from earlier rang out, and he rushed his slender hands to his ears. What was Jungkook doing there?

"Hoseok, can you wait one minute?" he asked, furrowing his eyebrows and removing his hands from over his ears. This was not just a memory, a memory of the first but definitely not last time Taehyung had helped Hoseok through a panic attack. It was something else.

Hoseok nodded confusedly, watching Taehyung stand up. Just as he turned around to the direction he heard Jungkook's voice in, he heard his own voice yelling at him desperately.

"Don't leave him alone! Don't leave Hoseok alone!"

He shook his head forcefully, as if trying to shake the voice away. "What are you saying?" he whispered back to his own voice.

"You can't leave him alone. He's not strong enough. He'll break your promise! Don't leave!"

He ignored the voice, going to take a peek outside for Jungkook, but outside the door was an endless void of pure white, and Taehyung slammed the door in startled fear.

"Taehyung, you worthless boy. You're too late. You failed him again."

"What?!" he yelled back.

Suddenly his feet were carrying him back further into the house, towards the bathroom. "Why are you taking me here?" he demanded out loud, but he received no answer.

His legs were set free once he was in front of the bathroom. The door was cracked open.

"Why do you want me to go in here?" he grumbled under his breath, but nonetheless he opened the door.

And then immediately regretted doing so.

On the floor was a familiar scene, one that had tortured him for years now. Hoseok laid there on the cold tiles, the remaining pills from the bottle spilt next to him. The disbelief swelled in him once more as he crumbled down to the floor next to him.

"No, no, no," he whispered shakily, though he knew that it was true.

Hoseok's chest did not rise or fall, and his heart was still.

"You failed him," his own voice snarled at him.

"No! No, no no!" he wailed, frustrated, angry tears streaming down his face. His vision went black, but he continued to yell that word relentlessly.

"No! No!"

His vision returned again, and his screams ceased as he noticed the change in the scene.

Replacing Hoseok on the floor was a lifeless Jungkook, skin pale and eyes open but unmoving,. A chill went through Taehyung's body.

"And you'll fail him just the same."

Taehyung sat up as he awoke, breathing heavily and wishing he had not fallen asleep in the first place. He dragged his legs up closer to him, wrapping his arms around them and hugging them to his chest.

That was what he was afraid of. Failing Jungkook just as he had failed Hoseok. But he just couldn't tell the younger boy that, and now the pain from losing Hoseok was fresh in his heart again. He buried his head into his knees.

I hate this.

*****

Jungkook lay wide awake, Taehyung stuck in his head like a sad song that you just can't stop singing. What was he doing wrong? He supposed it was because people were certainly not his strong point, but Taehyung had been helping him with that.

He squirmed in his bed, looking over at the time on his digital alarm clock, and sighed deeply when he saw that it read "3:49". He just couldn't go to sleep. Thoughts wouldn't let him.

I want Taehyung to smile again.

I want to make him laugh.

I want to make him happy.

These thoughts refused to let him be. He sighed deeply. He would not be sleeping that night. Biting his lip, he got up out of bed, and onto his feet. He needed some way to vent, some way to get out this feeling pounding on the walls of him, begging for escape.

His brain immediately turned to painting. Painting had helped him through more than he'd care to admit; his mother passing away when he was only twelve, and his sister completely cutting herself off from him, though he had tried to get past his inability to communicate and help her be happy again. So why not turn to it now?

His feet carried him along, his body moved of its own accord. He was on autopilot, and before he knew it, he was standing in front of a canvas, blinking the blur out of his vision. The usual him would sketch before he began, but this time, he just began to mix colors. Soon enough, he had a variety of different shades, and without even thinking, he began to paint.

He didn't even fully realize what he was doing until he was a quarter done with it. He paused for a long time, gazing down at the lovely rectangular smile on the canvas with sad, tired eyes.

After that, he grabbed a pencil, carefully sketching out the rest. He wanted this to be perfect.

Hours and hours passed, and he made sure not to miss a single detail. He didn't even begin to tire, no haze affected his vision. He was in a state of complete focus, and it was the first time in a while. Shades of peach and tan, pink, dark brown, white, they all brushed by each other, but the image was becoming clearer.

Finally, finally, late the next night, he was finished, his eyelids beginning to droop slightly. He took a step back to look at the completed project, and that's when it fully hit him what he had made.

Taehyung smiling his huge sunshine smile rested on the canvas surface, a light in his eyes that Jungkook had not seen in a while.

He walked up to the canvas again, that bright smile sending a chill through him. "I miss you," he choked out. He wanted to reach out, touch his cheek, tell him that everything would be okay, but this Taehyung wasn't real. Somehow, he'd managed to mess up things with the real one, and he had no idea if he would ever get a second chance. He sighed deeply, shakily, trying to push away the miserable, sinking feeling that was settling into his body. He wished that he could make Taehyung smile like this.

But look what you did, Jungkook. You made him cry. You stupid, worthless boy.

Look what you did.

---

"Wth Maddie. Why do you love angst gO AWAY."

Yes I know. FORGIVE ME FOR I HAVE SINNED. Again. Ha. Hahaha.

OH OH BTW DID YOU LISTEN TO THE COVER OMG. If you did, how was it? I would love feedback ~

I really hope you enjoyed this chapter. See you soon! c: