The next morning, I woke up on farm time; as soon as the sun rose. The early golden rays of warmth pooled out onto the dock, and illuminated the Han as though there were a million golden lights underneath the cool, blue, surface. I stretched and slowly sat up, noticing a large quilted blanket wrapped around me. Puzzled, I looked around for my new friend, Taehyung, but he was nowhere in sight.

Oh my god.

Please tell me he didn't leave.

I started hyperventilating, oxygen struggling to ease its way into my lungs. I started shaking too, like a chihuahua that had been left out in the cold autumn air for far too long. I felt my face go pale, and hot, salty tears trickled down my face. 'It's just like last time, he's going to leave me just like Jungkook did.' I thought, and I froze in pure terror. Here I was thinking that I had finally connected with someone who WASN'T an animal I worked with at my job in the shelter. I was sorely mistaken. Now, what you may be thinking is, "you're just overreacting, I mean, you have his number, and he promised he wouldn't leave." Well, believe me, I knew that rationally of course, but my heart just couldn't believe it. Even after knowing Taehyung for only a short amount of time, I figured he wasn't one to skip out on his promises. Correction, I KNEW for a fact he wasn't like that at all. (Call it intuition). Even so, despite my brain sending such messages to me, my heart beat to a different feeling, and the feeling in play was that of a girl who had been abandoned one too many times. You see, there's a certain condition I suffer from, and that condition is called "panic disorder"*. This basically means that, if my heart rate gets up to a certain level, accompanied by negative emotions, my body instantly sends out a "fear" response. This further affects my body through, shaking/convulsions, crying, vocal paralysis, and, in the worst case, seizures. I had been diagnosed with the disorder when I was 7, long before I met Jungkook, and trust me, I knew when I got to know him that he would take a toll on my emotions, but that was a consequence I was willing to suffer under. It's just what friends do for other friends.

I had been taught that, whenever I was suffering a sever panic attack, I had to call my mom, therapist, or a hospital right away. This was because I physically could not pull myself out of that state of constant fear, I had to be injected with an epipen for teens with ed up emotions in order to stop the fear signals my brain was sending throughout my body. All in all, my brain wanted to abort my body, even though it knew it was overreacting. Like a bad ex-girlfriend. Thinking back to what I was told to do at a time like this, I chose to ignore the advice given by my therapist, and reached my shaking hand towards my phone instead, planning on calling Taehyung. I saw his things sitting on the dock, his phone not among them, and breathed a huge sigh of relief.

Well, at least the biggest I could through my tense throat and hardcore sobbing.

I finally reached the phone after what seemed like hours and scrolled my shaky fingers through my contacts list. I smiled when I saw 'TaeTae~' show up (it was more like what you would expect a victim to smile like, one side of their mouth twisted upwards in a creepy half smile, the side like putty. But it was still a smile none the less.) I put the phone on speaker and let it hit the dock with a soft thud, not being able to trust my hands to do their job correctly under the circumstances. "Azalea~ Good morning~" He said, greeting me as though we were the best of friends. He started saying something about donuts and breakfast, but I cut him off with barely a whisper, my shaky, mucus clogged, breath uttering only two words. "You...left..." 

That was all it took him to start breathlessly sprinting towards the dock, his phone accidentally hanging up halfway through the call.

By the time he arrived my vision was fuzzy, clouded with tears I didn't have the strength to wipe away anymore. His blurred outline was just as beautiful as it had been the night before, and he was carrying a huge box of donuts, along with, what looked like flowers, but I couldn't tell. Because, by the time he dropped down to my side, I had passed out, fast asleep. 

Being an emotional wreck really was exhausting. 

~*~*~*~*~AUTHORS NOTE~*~*~*~*~

HELLO EVERYBODY~ THIS WILL BE THE FIRST AUTHORS NOTE OF THE STORY

Thank you to everyone who is subcribed, both old and new, I HOPE YOU ENJOY WHAT I'VE WRITTEN SO FAR~

Please don't hesistate to comment, I LOVE IT WHEN I GET COMMENTS.

Also, sorry for updating so late, I'm very sick today so I had to rest TT^TT

*panic disorder is a real disorder, it affects many people with a history of mental health issues, occurs at random times against one's own will, and is very, very serious. Mental illness is no joke.

PLEASE KEEP READING THIS STORY AND DONT FORGET TO COMMENT, SUBSCRIBE, AND ALL THAT JAZZZZZZZ

YOU GUYS ARE THE WRECK TO MY EMOTIONS

<3