“See you tomorrow?”

 

“I can’t tomorrow, I’m studying with Somin.”

 

“Sorry, we have this super important test simulation soon... we’ll have to study all night, actually,” said Somin, who was walking with them. 

 

“It’s so much to go through,” whined Hyukjae. “You better prepare for next year, huh?” he warned his boyfriend, making Somin laugh. “Anyways, we can go somewhere on Sunday.”

 

Donghae pouted. “You sure you don’t wanna rest that day?”

 

“No, I wanna see you.” He ruffled Donghae’s hair, making him wrinkle his nose. “Sunday?”

 

“Sunday.”

 

They gave each other a short kiss before parting ways and Donghae sighed. Hyukjae and Somin lived in the same neighborhood, they started walking together to keep each other company.
 

With all the important college stuff going on, Hyukjae was spending a lot more than usual with his classmate, and not just for studying… They also played sports together, and liked to hang out at each other’s houses and play videogames. Basically, they became close friends. They had invited Donghae a couple of times, but he didn’t feel like he belonged there. They talked about the future, the career they wanted to pursue. Donghae probably had to start thinking about that as well, but it was still too soon for him. He wasn’t interested in those conversations and ended up watching how well his boyfriend and his pretty friend got along. 

 

Donghae always admired how much fun Hyukjae had with his friends, and how mature they were when the situation asked for it. He and his friends just liked to walk down the street, maybe find somewhere to eat, and just do stupid stuff like daring each other to jump over a trash can.

 

He knew they only were one grade apart, but every time it seemed like a bigger gap was forming between the two of them. 

 

At least that’s how Donghae felt. 

 

Hyukjae probably didn’t have much time to think about it, given how busy he had been those days.

 

When he arrived home, he texted his boyfriend.

 

Have a good study time today!! Remember to have a snack~

 

On Sunday, Hyukjae and Donghae were walking through the park, holding hands. Hyukjae was telling Donghae about what he did the day before.

 

“...and Somin spilled my coffee all over our notes!”

 

After laughing softly, Donghae frowned. “But you don’t even like coffee.”

 

“Mh. But Somin made this vanilla latte for me and it’s so yummy! Still don’t like black coffee, though. But that one was so good, it helped me stay awake too.”

 

“Sounds good.”

 

“Yeah! You have to try it sometime.”

 

Donghae smiled at him. “I thought you were gonna be tired and sleepy but you’re in a good mood,” he hugged his arm. “I like it.”

 

“It’s just nice to have a study partner that you get along with.”

 

“Hm.” 

 

They kept walking in silence. It was obvious that Hyukjae liked Somin a lot. And he kept thinking about her. Donghae sighed quietly. They had a lot more in common than he and Hyukjae did, it was normal that Hyukjae felt attracted to her.

 

Maybe… maybe he should stop getting in the way. Donghae knew Hyukjae was making an extra effort to go out with him at least once a week, because Donghae always complained about wanting to see him more often.

 

After seeing how Hyukjae stayed up late studying, even resorting to coffee to stay awake, he regretted his words. He did want to see Hyukjae more often, but he couldn’t blame him for prioritizing his academic life. He was worrying about his future and studying diligently. As a consequence, he got closer with his classmates and he met the perfect study buddy. It was the last year Hyukjae would spend with his classmates, it was natural that they wanted to make the most out of every moment. It was all good for Hyukjae, and Donghae felt like he was distracting him from what was really important. 

 

Even if that was also the last year Donghae and Hyukjae would be together in high school. Education was first.

 

And so, while holding his boyfriend’s arm in the park, he decided not to complain with him anymore.

 

He wanted Hyukjae to be happy, and he seemed happy with the new life he was starting to build, with Donghae out of the picture.

 

The following weeks, Hyukjae spent every day studying after school. Even during recess, he would go talk with his classmates about who knows what. Donghae also spent more time with his friends those days.

 

On a Wednesday during recess, Donghae spotted Hyukjae from a distance and smiled as he observed him. 

 

Hyukjae started to look around after a few seconds and raised his eyebrows when he saw Donghae standing alone in the hallway. Donghae laughed at Hyukjae’s furrowed brows and his hand movement as he motioned for Donghae to come closer.

 

Donghae walked over to the group of older boys and girls and greeted them with a smile. Somin ruffled his hair.

 

“What were you doing there all alone?” asked Hyukjae. Donghae shrugged his shoulders. Hyukjae put his arm around his shoulder and answered something his classmate had asked him about a test. Donghae hugged his boyfriend’s torso. He was right there, but he missed Hyukjae already. “Aw, what happened?”

 

“Nothing.”

 

Hyukjae kissed his hair. “Wanna go somewhere after class?” he mumbled.

 

“No, no, I know you have to study. Um… I have to go to my classroom.”

 

Donghae stopped hugging Hyukjae and just smiled at him before leaving.

 

Hyukjae frowned. Not even a peck on the lips or on the cheek. He stopped looking when one of his friends asked him something else about the contents of the test.

 

Donghae had been a bit distant those days, he had noticed. They used to walk together to their houses but that week Donghae was nowhere to be found. When he called him, Donghae was already arriving home. 

 

Maybe he was busy with his school life as well. Hyukjae wished they didn’t have so much to study. Now that he had a study group, he became closer with his classmates and he was so excited to have found new friends. However, he missed cuddling with his boyfriend, kissing him and going on walks. Especially because it was his last year of high school. 

 

He wanted to be able to do everything at once: study, work, socialize with his family, his friends and give his boyfriend the attention he deserved. 

 

Instead of going out on dates like Donghae often wanted, Hyukjae had thought of inviting him to their study sessions just to be near him, but Donghae had different schedules and different people to study with. It wouldn’t make sense for him to be there. 

 

The days went by and Donghae kept rejecting his invitations. Hyukjae used the time to read, study and practice, and it was nice having time to study comfortably, but he wanted to see his boyfriend. 

 

On friday, Hyukjae finally had the afternoon off and went straight to Donghae after the last period.

 

Donghae got startled as Hyukjae poked his rib softly and tickled him. “Hey!” he laughed.

 

Hyukjae had missed Donghae’s smiling gaze directed to him.

 

“Hey, you. Wanna go get some ice cream or something?”

 

“Uhm… but don’t you have to...”

 

“No, I’m giving myself a no-study evening today. I deserve it, right?”

 

“Of course, you’ve been working so hard.”

 

“And you have too, so how about we go somewhere together?” Donghae smiled at him. “Come on,” he insisted.

 

“Alright, alright.” Hyukjae held his hand and they walked towards the ice cream parlour.

 

Donghae had been thinking a lot those days. Hyukjae had had a productive week. And it suited him, always going places and helping people. Ultimately, he wondered if Hyukjae would even have time for him in his even busier future life.

 

Hyukjae chose vanilla ice cream, Donghae chose the mint-choco flavor Hyukjae despised for some reason.

 

After talking about pets and games and movies, they fell into comfortable silence. 

 

They were finishing their ice cream when Donghae decided to ask.

 

“Hyuk…”

 

“Yeah?”

 

“When you go to college... will you still hang out with me?”

 

“Hang out with you? You’re my boyfriend, what do you mean?”

 

“Um…” Donghae’s voice trembled a little. He didn’t want to cry. But he was creating all these scenarios in his head, which he thought were all feasible considering those last few weeks' happenings. “It’s just…” He cleared his throat. “You have all these plans after graduating high school, right? You wanna work and study and help your family, and it’s so cool that you’re thinking about all that because I know you can do all of it.”

 

Hyukjae chuckled and tilted his head. “Yeah?”

 

“Yeah! You’re so hardworking and organized and the thing is, while you do that… you’re gonna meet new people, right? nd I don’t know if you’re gonna have time to…” he gulped. “To hang out with me. Because we mostly see each other at school but in a few months you’re not gonna be here anymore and I’m gonna miss you so much,” he had started crying already. Hyukjae’s heart started beating fast in worry as he saw his boyfriend’s tears. “And you’re so cool and nice, you’re gonna make new friends in no time and I just feel there’s so many people better than me for you out there, or even here…” Hyukjae frowned.

 

“Better? Who’s better for me than you?”

 

Donghae had a blush on his cheeks because of Hyukjae’s words. “Somin…”

 

“Somin?!”

 

“She’s pretty and fun and athletic, you make a great couple. Everyone thinks so.” Hyukjae shook his head as he got closer to hug his boyfriend. Donghae sobbed. “I just don’t want you to miss an opportunity of being happy because of me.”

 

“God, Donghae… you don't think I’m happy being with you?”

 

Donghae shrugged. “Sometimes I think you deserve so much better.”

 

He broke the hug. “Don’t say that. First, I don’t like Somin that way, okay? And I’m lucky to have you, Donghae… I love you, you make me happy.” Donghae wiped his tears as they kept falling. “I know things are gonna change next year, but I don’t think it’ll be an obstacle for us?”

 

“I know you can try to manage your time if I ask you to, but it’s selfish of me to use your free time, you know? This year is the most important for you and you need to concentrate on school, that’s why I don’t want to annoy you with… me…”

 

“You want us to break up, then?”

 

“No! I just don’t wanna stop you from finding someone better…”

 

Hyukjae pouted. “It’s not like that at all. I’m not looking for anyone else, Donghae. I know we haven’t seen each other a lot these days, but I want to see you. And not only because you ask me to, I want to spend time with you because you’re important to me and I love you, Donghae.”

 

Donghae felt more tears forming in his eyes every time he heard his name.

 

Hyukjae had started to tear up as well.  He hated seeing his boyfriend like this, and it seemed like nothing he could say would change Donghae’s mind. But he kept trying, because he couldn’t believe Donghae of all people was doubting their relationship. 

 

“I know, but…”

 

“Ugh,” Hyukjae closed his eyes. “You’re being so stubborn, Donghae… Listen. Don’t feel selfish for wanting to be with me. That’s supposed to happen when you have a boyfriend, it’s not a burden for me at all. If I really don’t have time I’ll always tell you, okay?”

 

Donghae sobbed softly as he nodded. Hyukjae hugged him again and let himself cry against Donghae’s shoulder as well. “Sorry I’m being dramatic,” said Donghae. “I just don’t want this year to end.”

 

Hyukjae took Donghae’s arms and guided them around his torso. Donghae hugged him tightly.

 

Maybe he was being too pessimistic. They might be together forever, they might break up when leaves start to fall. But Donghae decided he couldn’t worry all the time about the end of their relationship. Hyukjae was right there, and he made it clear he wanted to be with Donghae. 

 

They just had to try their best to stay together and care for each other. 

 

“Listen…” Hyukjae broke the hug and Donghae helped him wipe his tears with a napkin. “Don’t be afraid of asking me to spend more time together. I like it, I like that you tell me what you want. And if anything, next year I’m gonna be happier every time I see you.”

 

Donghae looked down at his shoes.

 

“Then, um…”

 

“Hm?”

 

“Can we spend a little more time together these weeks…?” Donghae’s soft voice made Hyukjae want to hug him again. “There’s only like three months of class left and I just… Time passes so quickly. I know you don’t have a lot of free time, but for example, um… Siwon lives closer to my house, right? When you have to study at his house, maybe you can sleep at mine… things like that.”

 

“Sure, sounds nice. I actually wanted you to come with me to study if you have nothing to do. Because sometimes I won’t have time to go on dates, it’s true. It doesn’t matter if you’re studying something else, or just using your phone, your being there would make me feel much more at ease.”

 

“Really?!”

 

“Of course! Stop that already.”

 

“Stop what?”

 

“Stop putting yourself down! You’re the cutest human being, the entire school misses you when you don’t attend classes for a day!” Donghae chuckled. “I’m gonna miss you as much as you are, Donghae. I just hide it better, I guess.”

 

Donghae pouted. “I love you, Hyuk.” Hyukjae got closer to kiss him. “So much.”

 

“I love you too, Donghae.”