Saturday morning, 29th August 2015.

14. The Person He Loves. II

One of the perks of having a family running hotel business is that you can sleep in any hotel room for free. The receptionists on the lobby do not recognize him at first. Junsu isn’t dressed up like Junho usually does and he forgets he has to check in like everybody else. Not to mention it’s eleven pm. He must look like some crazy posing rich wannabe. He walks right to the four well trained pretty smiling receptionists on duty asking a penthouse suite key.

The receptionists exchange looks.

“I beg your pardon sir, but the room you are asking is for classified guests only and I’m afraid that..”

“Just give it.” Junsu growls. “I’ll kick Junho tomorrow if he’s making a fuss. Quick!!”

It seems that one of the receptionists presses emergency button. Two security guards in suit approach Junsu. One of them has been working long enough for the Kims and he’s wise enough also not to upset the youngest hotel prince.

“Mr. Kim. Good to see you here.” He slightly bows.

The receptionists gape. The one on the right quickly produces the key Junsu asked and hands it out in nervousness. “Err.. Sir. This is your key.”

Junsu snatches the key impatiently. He extracts his wallet and pushes his card to the girl who lowers her head as low as possible. “Keep it.”

The guards offer to take Junsu to the VIP penthouse room but Junsu turns it down since he doesn’t carry a thing but what he wears. He wants to be alone.

He locks the door. He knows someone will knock on his door sooner or later and he wouldn’t unlock the door for anyone trying to barge in the room unless the one unlocks it him/herself. Since Junsu punches in the special family code, it’s either papa, mama, or Junho. For now, he’ll just need to lie down and breathe.

Breathe.

--

Changmin glances at his watch. Three pm. No sign of Junsu in Hara. He’s been waiting all day. Junsu didn’t come home after leaving his laptop in Changmin’s hand. He wasn’t home either when Changmin returned from work yesterday. All of his belonging are untouched, still right in place which indicates Junsu hasn’t been home yet for 36 hours. Changmin can’t wait anymore. He takes a day off today intending on catching Junsu at work but he hasn’t seen Junsu at all since morning. He calls Hara. Yoochun says Junsu is taking his days off but not confirming for how long. None minds of it since Junsu has been working harder than them recently. Besides, he’s the owner too.
That prince brat could be anywhere in the city. If only Junsu uses their card, Changmin could track down where his husband is now but no, he checked it this morning. No card transaction so far. Changmin doesn’t want to bother his mother or the Kims but he isn’t good acquaintance with most of Junsu’s friends and he needs to find Junsu to clear things up with him asap.

Time to pull out some tricks off his sleeves. Changmin starts his car heading to the Shims’ residence. He puts on his earphone and dials a number while driving.

“Joongie. I need help.”

“Gosh, Min. I’m still in campus. Can’t it wait?”

“What time are you home?” Changmin ignores the complaint.

“In a couple of hours. Why?” Jaejoong scrunches his nose. “Have you met Junsu?”

“That’s the help I need from you.”

“Me?”

“Could you drop by mom’s house after work? I’ll wait for you there. Can’t tell you the details now.”

“But my car is in the garage.” Jaejoong huffs. “Okay. I’ll try.”

“I’m counting on you, Joongie.”

“Yeah. Right. Don’t push it, Min. Are you driving? How many times should I tell you not to call while you are driving, huh?!?”

Changmin can’t help smiling. “See you soon, Joongie~~” He smooches and hangs up.

--

“He gives you our family code already?” Junsu curls his lips at the beautiful grinning lady sitting on the penthouse couch. “Or you steal it from him?” He accuses. Not really accusing since they both know Junsu doesn’t mean it.

“I bet you gave it to Changmin even before you two dated.” The lady rolls her eyes.

“I didn’t.” Junsu defends.

“On your first date?” The lady eyes her soon to be brother in law.

“Nope.” Junsu sticks out his tongue. “I’m not that cheap, mind you.”

“Let me guess.. on your first time together.”

Junsu’s eyes widen. “How could a woman speaks such thing in ease?”

The lady snorts. “Hah. Look who’s talking.” She makes a face. “So it’s your first night with him?”

“We’re legally married.” Junsu crosses his arms. “We hadn’t located any flat yet since we had few differences on where to live.”

“Here?”

“Don’t you think you are asking too much?” Junsu raises his eyebrow. “Wait. Does it mean Junho and you have-

“We are not as in haste as you were, dear baby su.”

“Hah! Like I don’t know how often you sneaked in his private apartment. Tsk. Just marry already. I want to hold a lot of nieces and nephews. Oowww!”

“You little minx.” Vaya keeps hitting Junsu’s back. “I didn’t sneak into his apartment!”

“Ooww! Easy girl. Everybody knows about it.” Junsu blocks the hitting hands. “Just graduate from your study next year. Marry Junho first, make babies then you- ooowww. It hurts!!”

Vaya does hit it with force this time. “Stop giving him ideas!!”

“Stop hitting me!” Junsu yells back. “I might forget I mustn’t hit ladies or forget you’re my sister in law.”

“Huh? You think I can’t beat you? You’re not the only person holding black belt in taekwondo!”

“Poor my whipped brother.” Junsu makes a face, daring.

“You brat!!!”

Room service provides them meals and changes for Junsu since he didn’t bring extra clothes when he checked in. Vaya isn’t as close as Junho or mama to Junsu but she’s as caring and affectionate toward the youngest Kim. She makes sure Junsu eats enough by shoving down more and more food onto the soon to be in laws. She doesn’t glare when Junsu refuses or uses tricks escaping her forceful hands. She pulls Junsu down to sit and locks Junsu’s legs using hers.

“Can’t believe you are thirty.” She smacks Junsu’s arm in irritation. “Eat! What’s so difficult in chewing and swallowing?!”

Junsu gulps. Vaya can be scarier than mama. Why must women so forceful on meal time? T.T

“Junho doesn’t know I come to see you.” Vaya informs after she sends back the unconsumed food. Junsu has hard time telling his soon to be in law that he’s full. “I didn’t hear clearly what he’s arguing with mama over the phone but I gather it that you’re in somewhat unfortunate situation with Changmin.”

Junsu frowns. “You heard them where?”

Vaya dismisses the question. “I heard about this Yunho guy following you too. Is it true?”

“Which one?” Junsu scratches his hair, unsure.

“Both. Changmin and Yunho.”

“It’s not unfortunate situation.” Junsu shifts. “We are just having some small talk over our differences. Nothing new. I just want some time alone here. It doesn’t mean a thing.”

Vaya puts on her serious look. “I’m not married yet, Su, but it doesn’t mean I’m blind or deaf or unknown with your situation.”

“What situation are you talking about? I told you Changmin and I were just having small talk over our differences. It’s common, right? It’s not like one of us is leaving for arctic forever.”

Vaya huffs. “I met Yunho.”

Junsu curses quietly. How many people have Jung Yunho actually met? Vaya isn’t always in the city since she studies abroad for her graduate study. Whenever she’s in town, she would be either with her family or with Junsu’s brother.

“We didn’t speak much.”Vaya continues. “Just enough for me to guess what might be cooking. He looks like a good person to me.” Vaya smiles. “I don’t compliment strangers easily, you see? He’s got my intuition right on him. He sincerely cares about you.”

Junsu’s face hardens. He looks away.

“Not that I suggest you take him seriously for it either.” Vaya notices the hardened look on Junsu. “You’re happily married to someone you love and I’m sure people like Jung Yunho wouldn’t even have a chance to bat eyelashes at you. You just have eyes for Changmin, am I not wrong?”

She’s right, of course. She won’t be in advanced law graduate program for nothing.

“I don’t mean to interfere or acting wise or what.” Vaya scoots closer to Junsu. “You are someone precious for Junho. You are precious for me too though I have to deal with your slippery annoying attitudes.” She reaches out for Junsu’s hand, squeezing it softly. “I’m not officially your sister in law yet either which makes me out of the picture as married woman.” She smiles as their eyes meet. “But I know this from long time ago. My mama also said this to me every time I was in frustration with my past relationship. Love isn’t love if it hurts too much. If it pains you more than you could bear. It’s not love. It’s self-punishment.”

Junsu wants to look somewhere else. He wants to avoid Vaya’s calm honest eyes.

“I don’t know what hurts you. I don’t know whether Changmin is hurt too but seeing you like this, like now.” Vaya squeezes Junsu’s hand again. “It hurts people who love you, Su. Mama and papa hide it well. Junho can’t hide it from me. Have you seen yourself in a mirror today?”

Junsu feels a lump in his throat. “I-I don’t mean to..

“Of course you don’t.” Vaya brings their holding hand on Junsu’s knee. “You are just being you. We know you are not a five year old kid anymore but we couldn’t help hurting for you. It’s different kind of love and I’m so grateful to see it in your family. My family soon.” She straightens her hold on their joined hands. “Everyone makes mistakes but not everyone is brave enough to face and deal with it.” She releases her hand. “You know what to do, right?”

“But..” Junsu feels like it’s so unfair. “I love him, Vaya. I really love him.” He looks away. He has to. “Why can’t I be happy by loving him the way I do?”

“Because, Junsu,” Vaya wants to hug her soon to be brother in law. Junsu looks so broken. “If it hurts too much, it’s not love.”

--

The silence after Vaya left the room gives Junsu just the right time and place to open up. Open up to himself that he’s being ridiculously selfish over Changmin. He said he grew up yet he grows nowhere but on the same place and length. He grows up to another selfish immature childish Junsu. Leaving home for two days because he couldn’t bear the thoughts of Changmin leaving him? Staying in one VIP Penthouse suite hotel room because he’s a family member of the owner? Skipping work because he’s not in the mood? Because he has fifty percent shares of Hara? Because mama is the anon source of Hara’s breathing flow? Because he could afford of spending days doing nothing while other people like Yoochun has to work their heads off for better tomorrow?

Has he really grown up? Isn’t it his poor lame excuse to gain pity and sympathy from people?

Really Junsu?

No wonder he couldn’t win Changmin’s heart. He’s nowhere in par for the term grown-up. He’s still the same spoiled hotel prince using unfair tricks to get everything he wants.

If it hurts too much, it’s not love.

Junsu wishes Vaya didn’t say those words. The truth in them hits his sense like high tide crashing waves against the shore. Junsu has been too busy his own wounds that he is oblivious he has put people he loves in dismay. He’s too deep in self pity that he forgets Changmin must be hurt too. Changmin was devastated when jaejoong left him both for the first and second time. Can he really stand beside Changmin if Jaejoong leaves again tomorrow and Changmin is more than just shattered into deep pain and regret for not having good chance cherishing his love? Can he tolerate Changmin’s broken heart later on if Junsu insists on staying married to him despite knowing that Changmin and Jaejoong have gone through desert and ocean together? No more desert and ocean for them now but a stupid stubborn egoistic wall named Kim Junsu stands in the way?

Junsu gets up from bed. He turns on his phone making a call. He’s going to call Changmin before he changes his mind again.

The newly phone rings and vibrates several times. Junsu’s eyes widen.

Ten missed calls from Changmin’s mother.

Seven messages from mama, Junho and Changmin’s mother.

He quickly presses read icon on his mother in law’s messages.

Has Changmin told you he’s sent to Australia? I can’t talk him out of it. Can you help?

Are you opposing his choice too? Don’t keep silent, boy. Let’s corner him together till he turns down the company offer. Come here soon, okay? We need to build a plan.

If you’re still my son in law and love me as your mother, do something! Hide Min’s passport and visa now! Hurry! He’s already packing!

Junsu’s brain processes word per word shown on his phone screen in fast speed. He catches them a minute later in bewilderment. Changmin is leaving abroad?

He presses other incoming texts in