Monday, 24th August 2015.

12. Facets.

“What did you wrong this time?”

“Mom, please.” Changmin sincerely pleads. “I can’t think anything straight right now. Please let me have some rest here.”

“You should do that before. Thinking.”

“I’m trying to do it now, alright?”

“Sol Bi, let him rest.” Changmin’s father appears by the door. “Look how long his face is.” He sends facial gesture to his wife.

The mother sighs. “You’ll eat dinner here? I’ll make something since I didn’t cook much today.”
“No, mom.” Changmin’s head goes low. “I’ll have dinner at home.”

“I’ll prepare something for Junsu.” The mother ruffles Changmin’s hair and leaves the son alone in the room. It’s Changmin’s previous bedroom before he moved out to his current apartment with Junsu.

Changmin falls into bed in defeat. He thought that their quick make up post fight have bettered their relationship but he’s wrong. Just when he thought they were okay and better and he could now confront Junsu personally, they took a slippery downhill turn.

Junsu came home five minutes after midnight in a very crumpled look that Changmin had no heart seeing the look on Junsu and aborted his purpose confronting Junsu. After all, it’s been a very long day for Junsu. Yoochun told him briefly about the three-days bookings when he called Junsu’s coworker somewhere after around six pm. Yoochun said Junsu‘s phone been ringing all day which none of them was picked or replied. It must be hard for them to take care of the bookings so Changmin didn’t implore much and dropped it as work side effect but when Junsu kept his lost beaten look in the morning, not just on the following one but also the next two mornings ahead, Changmin’s patience and tolerance hit a wall.

He discovered Junsu’s habit leaving their bed at the wee hour of nighty morning too. He found it by accident. Changmin was awoken due to bathroom call. He went back to bed just about to resume his interrupted sleep and realized that his side in bed was empty. The mattress was cold indicating Junsu had left bed for a while. He didn’t think much and fell asleep. The following night, he couldn’t sleep too well. Eyes closed, body demanded rest but couldn’t really sleep. He chanced a snuggle to the man sleeping beside him only to snuggle to nothing. His eyes fluttered open. Where was Junsu?

The answer took all the rest of his will to sleep. He should call Junsu back to bed. He should come close to Junsu sitting next to him asking what’s going on. He should use the opportunity to talk. No. he didn’t do any of the available options. Junsu’s empty eyes when he approached the husband disarmed him. Instead, he went to kitchen giving himself a drink then walked back to bed soundlessly like he didn’t see Junsu sitting in their dim lighted living room.
What’s with them, seriously, God?

--

“Why are you everywhere?” Junsu crosses his arms. “You shouldn’t be seen if you are following me.”

“I’m not following you.” Yunho stirs his coffee. “I just happen to be there when you see me.”

Junsu rolls his eyes. “The one hiring you should hire someone else.”

“None hires me.”

“Right.” Junsu snorts. “I’m sure you’ve met Young Pil or lawyer Patt.”

“I have.” Yunho smiles. “I’ve met your brother too. Good hardworking people.” He tastes the coffee. “But I’m not hired by anyone. I just wanna see you.”

Junsu looks away. “I don’t understand what you are talking about.” He scowls. “I don’t want to say this but thanks. Thank you for giving me a ride.”

“Anytime.” Yunho smiles. “You shouldn’t be out that late if you go to places by public transport. Things happen.”

“Thank you again, Mr. Detective. I would really appreciate it if you don’t interrupt or pop up out of nowhere when I want to be alone.”

“Yunho.” Yunho smiles wider. “Not mr. detective.”

“Like I care.”

“We’ll see about that.”

Junsu shoots a sharp look toward the easy smiling man. “I’m married and very much not interested in any infidelity matter.”

“So I’ve heard.”

“Whoever sends you to watch over me, tell the person I’m fine and do well on my own. No need to worry over my useless head.”

“You’ve just told the person sending me yourself. He says he just wants to be around you.”

“I hold black belt in both taekwondo and Judo.” Junsu grits his teeth.

“I know. Mine is Hapkido and fence. I heard you love baseball and soccer. Wanna touch the mattress some time? I’m not good in soccer. Baseball sounds fun.”

“What is your problem??” Junsu’s raised tone gets some head turns.

“I’ve none.” Yunho is still smiling. “You are more adorable when you are angry.”

Junsu facepalms hard. Junho has warned him that Changmin hired someone to watch over him. Junsu saw the CCTV record. He recognized Yunho when the investigator stopped his car in front of him offering him a ride after the baseball thingy fight with Changmin. Junsu got into Yunho’s car without a doubt since his head was filled with fog and fire. Yunho drove them to a small street food vendor, treated him two bowls of warm beef curry then drove him back home.

He met Yunho again when Junsu didn’t know where to go on the next night. He refused the ride offer. Yunho climbed out of his car and accompanied Junsu sitting in an empty bus shelter (It’s near midnight) till Junsu decided it’s ridiculous to spend any longer moment with his supposedly stalker. Changmin called him like crazy because he’s not home yet. He decided to go home. Again, Yunho insisted to drive him home.

Junsu wants to stop it there.

--

“Don’t drink too much.” Jaejoong snatches the liquor from Changmin’s hand. “Drinking would get you nowhere but more problem. You said you couldn’t do it anymore. Don’t.”

Changmin snatches the liquor bottle back, eyes hard and daring. “Cut it!” He pours the liquor content into his glass. “None takes my side. Not even you!”

“You’re drunk.” Jaejoong hisses. “Stop it now, Min.”

“He always does whatever he likes. Whatever he wants.” Changmin empties the full glass in one go. ”Acting like pitiful wounded puppy but always says nothing is wrong. Everything is alright. Alright my ***!!”

Jaejoong pats Changmin’s back softly.

“I really want to rip his forced smiles out of his look, dig those beady empty eyes out of the sockets, and tug up his lying tongue till he can’t say any single lie anymore.” Changmin hands move unsteadily demonstrating his words. “Why does he do it to me? What did I do wrong? I apologized, damnit!”

Jaejoong sighs. It’s gonna be another long night.

“You.” Changmin points his finger at Jaejoong. “You just left me in confusion and wonder. You left me never once thinking of how I feel.”

Here we go again. Jaejoong gently takes the glass away from Changmin’s hand. Changmin is drunk already. He’ll blabber and shouts worse nonsense if Jaejoong doesn’t stop him right now.

“Why did you always leave me in the most crucial moment? You promised high school would be fun and great. You promised we’d work together after graduation but left when I was in second year of high school. You left again when I was in college. You never tell me what’s wrong. You just left. You don’t know how much it pained me.”

“Min..” Jaejoong pulls the drunken man to his arm. People start staring at them. “Let’s go home. It’s late.”

Changmin pushes Jaejoong away.

“I’m not that important person to you, huh? Never was one. I should have known.”

“Enough, Changmin.”

Changmin laughs. “Yeah. Enough. I should have known you would never read the mails I sent to you. You’d never text. You’d never call. You’d never care about us.” He laughs louder. “There’s no us. There’s only me here.” Changmin pats his chest roughly. “And you there.” He punches Jaejoong’s shoulder.

Jaejoong catches Changmin’s flailing hand. “We’ll talk about this when you are sober. Come on. You’re heavy block.”

Junsu hears Changmin’s typical drunk laughter outside. It’s loud. He slips out of the comforter leaving his bed to get to the door. Changmin wouldn’t be able opening the door. Junsu has reached the guest living room when the door opens revealing a heavy leaning Changmin against a struggling Jaejoong.

“Junsu!” Jaejoong calls in relief. “Thank God you’re awake. Would you please-

Junsu has run to Changmin taking the tall husband over Jaejoong’s hold. “Goodness.”

“Joonmyeon told me Changmin wouldn’t stop drinking.” Jaejoong helps Junsu dragging the heavy load. “He left first because he had some work matter urgent call from office and the other coworkers were leaving as well.”

“Just sit him here.” Junsu gestures at the couch.

They throw the drunken laughing and mumbling person on to the long couch. Changmin falls on the bouncing leather surface, cursing and laughing at the same time.

Jaejoong catches his breathes. “I left his car in the bar. I told the valet someone will pick it up tomorrow.” He blows long air in and out while his hand moves fast fixing his coat and shirt.

Junsu walks to the kitchen. “Care for some drinks?”

“No thanks. I have first morning class tomorrow. I’d better go home now.” He pulls up his collar. “I’ll take my leave now.”

“You sure you don’t want any glass of water?”

“It’s fine.” Jaejoong smiles. He’s reddish and flustered. His lips are swollen. “I really need to leave now.”

Junsu returns the smile as he walks back to the living room. “I’ll see you to the door.”

They exchange more pleasantries and thanks before Jaejoong drives away. Junsu closes the door quietly. He goes back to Changmin who is, by now, passed out on their couch. Junsu takes off the shoes, the socks, loosens Changmin’s clothes and undoes his husband’s outfit. His face is expressionless when he’s changing Changmin into comfortable clothes. He has seen it on Jaejoong. Why goes all surprised seeing it on Changmin

“Bed.” Junsu tries to stand Changmin up. “You’d feel worse tomorrow if you sleep on the couch.”

“M’feen.” Changmin slurs.

“I know. Let’s get to bed first, shall we?”

They walk step by step to bed. Junsu carefully lies the tall husband in bed before closing the door leaving Changmin sleeping alone. He picks Changmin’s clothes reeking of liquor bringing them to laundry basket. He gets his coat and wallet taking the dirty clothes to 24/7 Laundromat. After all, he wouldn’t be able to sleep after what he’s seen. Doing something will distract his thought and wavering determination.

He had said he couldn’t leave their marriage. However painful it is for him, however far he’s lost in his own selfishness, he wouldn’t leave Changmin. He loves Changmin too much to do so.

Until Changmin decides to end their marriage, Junsu would do his best.

--

Changmin snaps his eyes open the moment he hears Junsu leaves their bedroom. He waits for quite a while in stormy drumming heartbeating. He waits and waits for Junsu to climbs in their bed and sleep or to hear Junsu breaks some things in their house to vent his anger like Junsu did last time when Changmin brought friends home drinking and littering their apartment.

He hears nothing.

Changmin sits up in bed, wondering what’s Junsu doing. Their apartment is too quiet it’s a bit scary. Junsu doesn’t do something awful like…

Changmin forces himself to stand and walk. He’s drunk but not that drunk. He did it on purpose. Yes. On purpose. Junsu forgave him quickly on Changmin’s effort for a fight before. Changmin drinking with friends is one of the top lists of making Junsu angry. Number three maybe? This is number one and Changmin has to be really drunk to do it. He needed to do something physical with someone. Junsu might tolerate his drinking one but he can’t possibly tolerate Changmin makes out with someone. Drunk or not.

Changmin can’t really do physical deed to random people. Jonghyun or kyuhyun would beat his life out of him if he tries it on them so Changmin tried to cut himself some slack and asked the singles in his department out for drink. They wouldn’t suspect a thing since they would be drunk enough when Changmin kissed one of them. He could apologize and take the blame onto their liquor later. Besides, they know that Changmin is married. It would be good cover.

However, Joonmyeon smelled something dangerous and left quickly before Changmin could do a thing. His other colleagues soon followed Joonmyeon also sensing the unordinary friendly Changmin state.

Jaejoong came soon after taking care of him as usual. Changmin was frustrated. His plans are all backfired and Junsu is nowhere close to open up to him. He drank more instead kicking more liquor in him.

Then it just happened. They kissed. Changmin remembers he kept on blabbering about Jaejoong’s absence for years in his life. It wasn’t a scenario. He meant every word he said. Perhaps Jaejoong kissed him to shut him up. Perhaps he kissed Jaejoong because his special best friend was always that special someone to him.

The kiss was fierce and demanding. Like the burning fire in summer camp. It was blinding and shooting ecstasy into their nerves that when they got to their senses, their swollen lips weren’t the only wet marked skin on them. Changmin got his question for years answered. He wasn’t the only one wanting to bring their special companionship to something else back then. Jaejoong wanted it too.

Changmin is glad he’s the drunk one because he didn’t know how he’d manage th