Chapter 10

The same antiseptic scent that her nose picked up made her feel nauseated. Seohyun was back in the hospital. No sleep was conveyed through her eyes but her body was fidgeting. Nervous perhaps. 

The plan was for her to be picked up by Kyuhyun in the morning. But she came up with the excuse of meeting somebody first and that he could pick her up afterwards. She decided to go first. On her own.

The corridors were now different from when she first walked through. She was no longer the Seohyun who lost her memories. She was now the Seohyun who gave birth to a human being who was also nearly killed due to her recklessness. 

She informed the nurses at the station that she was here to visit. She was lead back to her daughter's room by the nurse and she was updated on her baby's condition. It wasn't a long time since her last visit but she could see the tiny body got a bit bigger. 

"All her vitals are stable. Appetite has been good and has already pooped twice this morning. Her suction is getting better so we have a chance at letting you feed her yourself. The doctors had their rounds this morning and they said they are happy with her weight so we can take her off the incubator in the next few days."

Seohyun nodded in understanding, keeping her eye on the baby inside the incubator. She could not keep her eyes of her. The way the tiny fists move around and her legs kicking. Her baby was already awake.

"Your husband was here twenty-four hours a day in the first few days she was here. We really did think she will not last long so we let him stay. We noticed him to very tired the next few days. It seems the rehearsal for his concert was ongoing but instead he stayed here. But once we were sure the baby was strong enough, we re-assured him that we can look after her so that he can go back to your son." The nurse got the recliner chair ready and a few blankets.

"I try not to by nosy but I asked him one time why he still continued with the concert. Did you know his reply?" Seohyun shook her head. His answer did not mean too much to her because she knew. She understood him because she was on the same boat. Her love for her supporters was something no other could replace. They were the ones who made her who she is.

The nurse continued, "It's because if he didn't do it, he might go crazy. Not being by his wife's side hurt him more. The concert was his way of distracting himself from his then reality. It seems a lot of people hated him for it."

Seohyun shook her head once again. "That's not the real reason," she answered. "His fans are my rivals in love."

Both of them giggled. The nurse instructed Seohyun to remove her jewelleries and to wash her hands so that they could begin skin-to-skin contact. She was also given a robe to make it easier. 

Compared to last time Seohyun saw her baby, there were tubes all over. Now she could see her face clearly. She was still a newborn yet her face was slowly showing features of Seohyun's.

The nurse gently cradled the baby out of the incubator and into Seohyun's chest, making sure none of the tubes were being pulled or tangled. 

Once the little body came in contact with hers, tears are flowing once again. Seohyun could not remember carrying her little child for 9 to 10 months yet she was getting emotional. The baby opened her eyes briefly and let out a yawn. 

Wiping her tears away, she asked the nurse, "Has she been getting formula milk?"

The nurse put a blanket over them and answered, "Kyuhyun-ssi has been ensuring your baby gets milk. Fortunately, we have an organization here founded by mom for those who wants to donate their milk for those who cannot produce enough. Your baby has been getting it regularly."

Seohyun may have forgotten that she was already a mom to Dahyun before. When she was younger, she was constantly reading various of books, from business to human science. But things such as motherhood and being an adult came from experience from other people. She was not yet a mother at twenty-four years of age, but her older friends who had children would always talk about the topic of children. They weren't ashamed to share such stories because they all knew women would go through it at some stage. 

"That's very good to hear," she sighed in relief. She rubbed the baby's back and gave a gentle kiss to her head.

There was a short pause and this in turn made the nurse decide to leave the two alone for some bonding. But before she could leave, Seohyun called to her again. "Would it be possible to give my milk?"

The nurse gave a smile before grabbing a chair to sit close to them, teaching Seohyun how to feed her baby.

The baby would latch but no milk would come out. Seohyun never thought it was this hard. The nurse who was always beside her had encouraged her and lifted her spirits. Because it was after a long time before she could feed her baby, it might take a while for the desirable outcome. 

After two hours of trying, she was getting tired. And she could see her little girl was also exhausted. Before they could put her back to the incubator, Seohyun had the chance of changing her diaper. Quite clumsy at first but she was determined to become a master of it. She could not leave it all to Kyuhyun. 

She checked her phone and saw quite a few missed calls from her so-called husband and a few from her parents. Panic came over her and she quickly dialed her parents'.

"Eomma? Did you call? Is something the matter?" she tried to keep her voice as calm as possible because parents can be scary especially when one does not answer a phone call from them.

'Where are you? Kyuhyun-ssi is here saying he was waiting for you?'

Seohyun bit her lip. Was it time to finally tell them she knows? She was fine after everything so far and she didn't want to feel irresponsible. 

She glanced again towards the incubator. The tiny life moving her tiny arms and legs like she was excited to see the world. She was excited to go home where her older brother, mother and father are together. That would be perfect. 

"I'm... at the hospital." She could feel the worry coming through her phone. 

'What are you doing there? Are you hurt?'

"No, Mom." Smiling at her daughter when she saw her lips lifting up to form a cute smile. "I'm with my daughter."

Not even thirty minutes passed, a sweating and panting Kyuhyun bursted through the door to the suite room. Seohyun wasn't exactly modest when he came in. She and the nurse were busy with the pump, adjusting it to one of her . She was shown on how to do it and Seohyun thought why not use it then instead of wasting time of waiting until she got home.

Seohyun tried to subtly cover herself with a blanket. "Are you okay, oppa?"

Kyuhyun remembered she was not his wife. She was his old friend and fellow artist under the same agency. They may be married but he wanted to respect her and not force her to act like a married couple with him. He quickly looked away, redness creeping up his face. 

"I was just surprised that you are here," he stuttered. His back facing her. 

The atmosphere became awkward. Not only he saw her kind of but that she came here without telling him. She did not think this through. She was starting to get scared that he would hate her. 

"I'm sorry I came without telling you. I was just going to come to see how she's doing but... things lead to this, I guess." She felt like she wanted to be swallowed up the ground. He is definitely going to hate me, she thought. 

"The doctor said she is doing very well. She might be out of the incubator soon." Seohyun said, trying to let the uneasiness in the room out. 

The nurse left the family alone after sensing the unbearable air. They were back to being being colleagues. It wasn't that they were not close before but their relationship in the past was plainly a close sunbae-hoobae relationship. It wasn't a very close friendship. However, they got along well. 

Kyuhyun turned around. He saw how beautiful she became. Or was it because he missed her. He had not hugged her in a while and kissed...

"You could have called me if you wanted to come here earlier. I would not mind at all." he said as he sat on the chair where the nurse previously sat.

"A lot of things hit me last night and I wanted to at least make it right for our little girl." Acknowledging that the baby was both theirs gave their hearts flutters, especially coming from Seohyun. 

Her body was in her thirties yet her mind was when she was at her prime, her twenties. When he was that age, he was also having fun. Dating, clubbing and working were some of his 'adulting life'. Yet she was here. In flesh. She did not scream. She did not complain. Most importantly, she did not run away. 

"I went to see the child I saved," she told. "That's why I told you to pick up later. They kept thanking me and it made me think I did not deserve their thanks. I... did not save that child. It was me but it wasn't me. I saw my determination sprouting of being with my child at all times. Because I am her mother."

She held his hand and looked at him straight in the eye. "I may not be the person whom you fell in love with and married but I want to be with her and with Dahyun. My memories may never return but I want to do my best to be their mother. I want to be your wife."

Kyuhyun interlaced their fingers and gripped hers tight. "Of course. That can be arranged but we need to take precautions. You have not fully recovered yet. It's not easy looking after a brat like Dahyun and also a newborn."

"Who said I was going to look after them alone?" she grinned with a glint in her eyes. Despite what Kyuhyun said, he was hesitating. She should be recovering away from pressure and stress. Parenthood can be full of pressure and stress.

He nestled the palm of his hand on the nape of her neck while rubbing her cheek with his thumb. "Of course I would be here. I will be here. As your friend, your confidant, your husband. I will make things tolerable for you. If you haven't exactly realized, this is a big change. I don't want you to force yourself to do this."

"Nobody is forcing me to do this." Another tear slides down her cheek. "Let's make new memories, oppa."

A/N

Right.. so.... anything in relation to this story has indeed left my brain. I needed to re-read the past 10 chapters over and over again because I could not remember. Forgotten Memories indeed. And if you noticed, it no longer makes any sense. 

So if you are confused indeed, you are not the only one XD i have tried to understand my way of writing but to no avail, I am also lost. I was going to delete this all together because its inconsistent.

But... my fingers wrote a lot more within a short time frame than I expected. 

And also, I want to comfort those who are having a difficult time especially during these times of lockdown and COVID, by distracting youuusss with my inconsistency xD I might edit this again later so... we'll see.

I do hope this story will keep your mind off things even more a minute.