Part II
If You
Part II.
I reread his message again, blinked a few times, and reread it again. Is he serious? You think you can say those things about me one minute then expect me to be available for you to use at any given moment? Who do you think you are that you can actually get away with this kind of crap? I stare at his contact name and sigh, I spoiled you and let you get away with it, that’s why...I edited his contact name from Ji~ to Kwon Jiyong before replying.
[To: Kwon Jiyong]
Sorry I didn’t reply to your message! I was asleep and just woke up. Forgive m-
Wait what are you typing Sandara??? You are not supposed to be asking for forgiveness. I deleted the whole message and started again.
[To: Kwon Jiyong]
Sorry for not replying, I just woke up. Sorry-
Stop apologizing stupid! It’s not even your fault.
[To: Kwon Jiyong]
Sorry, I just woke up. I can’t meet up, I’m not feeling well-
No, then he’ll definitely come visit. I frown, well he would probably insist on visiting...and I don’t think I can deal with that…
[To: Kwon Jiyong]
Sorry, I just woke up. I can’t meet up, I’m busy tonight.
I guess that works, I pressed the send button and opened my email. No replies yet...I’ll wait until tomorrow or Monday before sending a follow up email.
*beep beep*
[From: Kwon Jiyong]
[Sent 11:43am]
What? Sandara Park slept in past 10am? Are you feeling okay? Aish, I’ll come over right now.
Aish, this boy. Tears started to well up, Don’t make this harder on me...being so caring towards me only hurts me more.
[To: Kwon Jiyong]
[Sent 11:44am]
I’m fine, please don’t come. I’m busy.
*beep beep*
[From: Kwon Jiyong]
[Sent 11:44am]
Alright :( Let me know when you are free~ Jiyongie needs best friend time.
I gripped my phone, fighting the urge to reply back to him. Don’t do it Dara. This is for you! Don’t give in. This is only the first step. I sighed and opened a new text message.
[To: Bommie~]
[Sent 11:50am]
Movie night tonight? I need a hug :(
I clench my phone in my hand. This pain, I rubbed my chest, will go away won’t it?
*beep beep*
[From: Bommie~]
[Sent 11:53am]
WHO IS THE BASTARD THAT MADE YOU CRY??? TELL ME! I WILL BEAT HIM UP! And of course, I’m always here for you girl :)
I smiled, Just what I need, a girl’s night to forget everything else. Movies and ice cream.
[From: Bommie~]
[Sent 11:54am]
I just need a girl’s night, don’t go beating anyone up :(. Let’s invite Minzy too!
[From: Bommie~]
[Sent 11:54am]
Understood! I’ll message her. I’ll see you later then~
I smiled, I’m glad I have them at least.
*beep beep*
Another text? I raised my eyebrow and open the new notification. My eyes widen at the sender.
Dear Sandara Park,
On behalf of everyone else, we are happy to hear your decision to accept this position. Attached to this email is all of the necessary information needed for your transfer to the new position. We have already sent in the paperwork for you work visa so you do not have to worry about that. Please fill in and submit the needed information to this email: [email protected] by Monday night. We look forward to your future contributions to our company.
Best Regards,
XXXXXX Kim
Director of XXXXX Corp.
Another step forward. I close my eyes, clenching my phone in my hand once more trying to ignore the pain in my chest. You can’t get anywhere if you don’t go forward Dara. Ji…Jiyong isn’t the one for you, hasn’t these past 8 years proven it? I sigh, From when you realized you loved him and then realizing all you can do is just watch him go through relationship after relationship only for you to help pick up the pieces when he breaks down. Oh sure, you’ve tried to find another, gone on several dates, even had a couple of boyfriends, but those never lasted, I bitterly laugh, because HE was always there. Always there to remind you that what you’re doing is wrong. Always there to make you realize that you still love that bastard that you call your best friend.
I sigh again before getting up to fetch my laptop so I could start filling out the paperwork
“YOU’RE MOVING? TO NEW YORK??” Bom and Minzy yelled.
I flashed a shy smile, “Yeah…”
“Why? What about your job? What about us? What about Jiyong?” Bom asked worried.
“I,” I took a deep breath, “I need a change of pace. As for my job, I’m actually moving because of a job promotion, it’s a great opportunity. We’ll always be great friends, we’re practically like sisters. Distance won’t tear us apart,” I lightly chuckle, “And Jiyong…” I bit my lip, “He’s the reason that I’m doing this.”
“He told you to take this offer? Wow,” Minzy whistled, “I would think he’d try anything in his power to make you stay in Seoul.”
“Ha,” I forced a laugh and realized my eyes were started to well up, “It’s not that, I haven’t told him, nor am I really planning on telling him anytime soon.”
“Dara,” Bom gripped my shoulders, making me fully face her, “What’s going on? What are you not telling us?”
“I, I need a break from Jiyong,” I finally said, “And I think this job transfer is the perfect opportunity to do that.”
“A break? What happened Dara?” Minzy asked worriedly.
“I need to learn to live without Jiyong. I-I can’t move forward when he’s constantly around me. And it’s blatantly clear that he’ll never feel the same way towards me,” A tear escaped and fell down my cheek, “It’s be 8 years and nothing, he’s made it very clear that I’m just a friend to him. I can’t keep hoping that one day he’ll wake up and realize that he’s actually in love with me like all of those stupid dramas,” I sniffle.
“Oh Dara,” Bom pulled me forward for a hug, “It’s okay, let it all out,” she lightly pat my back.
I felt Minzy’s hand hold onto one of mine, squeezing it, “Did something happen recently to make you think that way?” She asked softly.
My tears started streaming down even faster as I told them what happened the night before. “If he’s so willing to push me out of his life just because of his current girlfriend, what should I do? Should I go along with that and patiently wait for them to break up so that he can crawl back to me broken-hearted? Huh?! I’ve been there and don’t that. And it ing hurts every time I see him crawl back expecting me to comfort him because of another girl. I-I can’t do it anymore. I’m scared,” I sobbed, “I’m scared that if I stay here, I’ll never move on and I’ll never be able to love anyone, but Jiyong.”
“You never know,” Minzy tried comforting me.
“But I do! You know how many guys I tried dating? There were so many, but I felt nothing towards them compared to what I feel for Jiyong,” I cried, “And you know what he sent me this morning?” I pulled away from Bom and retrieved my phone from the coffee table. Wiping my tears from my eyes, I quickly navigated to his last text message.
“THAT ING BASTARD,” Bom yelled, “I need to go give that idiot a piece of my mind,” she gritted her teeth and pulled out her phone.
“No, don’t,” I stopped her, “Please don’t.”
“Why? Why are you still protecting him after he treats you like this?” She asked.
“Because I love him,” I sadly smile.
“Love is a scary thing,” Minzy hugged her legs, resting her chin on her knees, “I think you’re making a good decision Dara,” she smiled, “I’m rooting for you all the way.”
I let go of Bom and hugged Minzy, “Thanks, I’ll need it.”
Bom sighed, “If you ever need anything, we’re always here for you,” she smiled, “Always remember that. And if you need someone to kick Kwon Jiyong’s , I will gladly volunteer.”
I laughed, “Of course.”
“Why aren’t you going to tell him?” Minzy asked, “Even though I think it’s great that you two should have some time apart, I think you should still tell him.”
“Or she can disappear without a trace and make him realize what he took for granted,” Bom said.
“You,” I laugh, “have been watching too many dramas. I’ll tell him eventually but not until a couple days before I leave…Once all of the paperwork goes through,” I fiddled with my fingers, “It’s not right to just leave without saying anything, he is still my best friend,” I glance at Bom, “but if I tell him now, I know he’ll be able to convince me to stay and I wouldn’t want that,” I frown.
“When do you leave?” Bom asked.
“Two weeks from Monday…”
“That soon???” They both asked in shock.
“Yeah, they needed someone to fill the position fast. Everything is already set up, where I’m going to live, giving me a company car to us, and the pay is double than what I’m making now.”
“Daebak,” Minzy clapped her hands together, “That is like a once in a lifetime opportunity.”
“I know,” I sadly smile, “It’s too great of an opportunity to just let go.”
“Well, I’m happy for you, but I’ll miss you so much,” she frowned.
“I’ll miss both of you so much,” I hugged them both.
“This is just like when Chaerin left,” Bom sniffled, “You better not leave too Minzy. And promise me that we’ll hang out a lot before you leave Dara.”
“Deal,” I smiled.
I took a deep breath, I’ve already told everyone, but him. I even told the boys and made them promise not to tell Jiyong. I glance at the calendar, only 4 more days left. I should really contact him to tell him. All of the paperwork has been settled, so even if he tried to convince me to stay I wouldn’t be able to.
I pull out my phone and looking at Jiyong’s messages again. He had sent multiple messages since that day a week and a half ago, I would always give him a lame excuse about being busy. One step at a time. I click to start a new message.
[To: Kwon Jiyong]
[Sent 1:43pm]
Are you free tonight? I want to catch up with my best friend(:
My eyes linger on “best friend” before I put my phone back into my pocket and continued on packing my things.
[From: Kwon Jiyong]
[Sent 3:35pm]
Sorry, I already have plans for tonight.
That’s strange…Thursdays has always been our hang out days.
[To: Kwon Jiyong]
[Sent 3:52pm]
What about tomorrow? Are you free?
[From: Kwon Jiyong]
[Sent 4:26pm]
Sorry, I have meetings all day tomorrow and I already have plans in the evening.
Aish! I raked my hair in frustration.
[To: Kwon Jiyong]
[Sent 5:56pm]
Aw, what about this weekend? Are you free?
Please don’t make me into the bad guy for leaving without saying goodbye. *beep beep* I looked at my phone in anticipation.
[From: Kwon Jiyong]
[Sent 6:01pm]
I’m pretty booked this weekend. Sorry.
Seriously???
[To: Kwon Jiyong]
[Sent 6:02pm]
Are you sure? I really want to see you, even 30 minutes is fine.
Great, now you sound like you’re begging for his attention Dara.
[From: Kwon Jiyong]
[Sent 6:02pm]
Look Dara, I’m really busy. And you know how it is. She doesn’t like the idea of us hanging out so much, and you know what she means to me. So I think we shouldn’t hang out for a while. Sorry Dara, please understand.
Tears started to form, Really? I felt as the first one slid down my cheek, followed by another and another until I was sobbing. Do you even hear yourself Jiyong? Do you ever think how I feel? Is this really what you want? I stare at his message, screw my pride. If I don’t tell you now I know I’ll regret it.
[To: Kwon Jiyong]
[Sent 6:10pm]
I just need 10 minutes, plus you owe me for ditching me the other day, remember?
So ing pathetic. I slid down the wall I had me leaning against.
[From: Kwon Jiyong]
[Sent 6:18pm]
Fine, Sunday 9am, we can go get coffee at your favorite place.
[To: Kwon Jiyong]
[Sent 6:19pm]
Okay.
Once I sent the message, I threw my phone onto the couch and hugged my knees, sobbing. Why won’t the pain go away?
“So, your ten minutes starts now,” Jiyong said as he placed the coffee we ordered on the table.
“Seriously?” I raised an eyebrow at him.
“Yeah, I have to meet someone in,” he glanced at his watch, “20 minutes and I wouldn’t want to be late.” He took a sip of his coffee.
“Someone,” I blew on my coffee, making the steam momentarily disappear, “meaning her?” I looked up at him as I took a sip.
“Naturally,” he placed his coffee on the table again, “Now what did you want to talk about? By the way,” he scrunched his eyebrows together, “Why are you wearing make up?”
I took a deep breath, “I’m meeting up with someone after this too,” Liar, you just want to make sure he didn’t notice how dark your eye circles are or how red and puffy your eyes were from crying all night because of him, “You never did tell me about your ‘wonderful’ news, what was it?”
He gave me a look of disbelief, “This is what you called me out for?”
“I wanted to catch up with my best friend,” I smoothly said.
“I don’t have time for this,” he harshly stood up, “I’m sorry, but we really can’t hang out for a while. I had to lie to her so that we could meet. I thought you wanted to tell me something important that I even had to lie to my girl. Tch,” He put on his jacket, “I really need to go, I’ll see you around Dara.”
He turned away, “Does she really mean that much to you?” I stood up and asked, staring at his back with empty eyes.
“Yes, I love her,” he said shortly.
“You love her enough to completely disregard your best friend? To completely ignore someone you’ve known for so long? To push someone, who has always been there for you, out of your life?”
He turned around and frowned, “You know that’s not what I’m doing Dara. You understand me better than anyone.”
“No,” I shook my head, “I think that is exactly what you’re doing. You’re going to push me out and then a few months down the road will come crawling back asking me to comfort you,” I stated.
He gritted his teeth, “She’s different. How can you say that?”
“How?” I scoff, “Because it wouldn’t be the first time this has happened.”
“It’s different, I think she could be the one,” He said.
My heart ached hearing those words, “I doubt it,” I said angrily, “She’s just like all of those other girls. They’re superficial without anything really going on in their head,” Flashes of his past girlfriends threating me and labeling me with degrading names went through my head. Each of your past girlfriends only dated you for your looks, do you even know what they said about you behind your back? Probably not. You couldn’t see much past their pretty little faces or else you wouldn’t have even given them a second glance. “You could do so much better.”
*SLAP* I feel my cheek sting where he had slapped me, “How could you even say those things about her? You don’t even know her, she’s nothing like that. You’re just jealous that I’ve found love and now she’s taking away my attention from you. Just because you can’t keep a boyfriend for more than a month doesn’t mean you can ruin my happiness. I thought out of everyone, you’d be the one to understand Dara. But I guess I was wrong,” he turned away and left.
I slowly lifted my hand to my cheek. Once I cupped my cheek in my hand, the tears started to fall again. So that’s how it is. That’s it then. I guess this is goodbye Jiyong.
I ran out of the café and end up at a nearby park. Settling down in a swing, I let my tears continue to fall. When they stop I pull out my phone.
[To: Kwon Jiyong]
[Sent 10:13am]
I wanted to tell you that I’m going on a trip, I guess that works perfectly with your plans, I wouldn't want you to be breaking any promises.
Not that you haven't broken hundreds of promises you made me. Not that you’re even going to care.
A/N: Hope you enjoyed this chapter (Poor Dara TT~TT) . Remember to comment, subscribe and upvote ^___^
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