I am supposed to be angry with her. Supposed to be.

I denounced her in front of everyone. I have openly declared my disgust for her.

But why, why…

Why do I miss her?  

*On that night that Yoona confessed to me*

I was having a weird dream. In my dream, Yoona and I were in a grassy field, and she was running around in the field, laughing her huge alligator laugh. I felt that I badly wanted to run with her, but I felt glued to the bench I was sitting on.

Suddenly, the sky darkened and huge drops of rain started pouring down from the sky.

Yoona! Come here! It’s raining! I called out, for suddenly, a roof popped out of nowhere over my head.

But Yoona was no longer there. Wherever I cast my eyes, I could not see Yoona.

Please Yoona, I felt myself begging silently, where are you?

The rain continued to lash violently, bending all the trees around me, but still I was completely dry.

I’d rather be out there in the rain with you, than be here safe but alone.

Are you sure about that?

I turned and saw that someone was behind me. I couldn’t see His face, but I wasn’t scared of Him; on the contrary, I felt sort of assured that He was there.

Are you sure about that, that you’d rather be with her in the rain?

I nodded vigorously, as though hoping that by agreeing, He would suddenly conjure Yoona out of nowhere, and I’d feel safe again.

We shall see about that. She’s coming, so you need to wake up.

I felt myself being pulled away from my dreaming state and suddenly, I was looking up at my room’s ceiling.

I got up from bed and laid down on the floor, plugging in my earphones in the process.

I knew that Yoona was coming, like what the man said in my dream—but for what reason, I had no idea—so I decided to stay up and wait for her.

And then she arrived, we talked… and for that whole time I felt something really weird, like something stirring in my chest… like something important was about to happen. And then as she played the song from my iPod I felt my heart beating fast, like I’m nervous or excited or—?

And then suddenly, she kissed me.

I—I—I was lost. I didn’t know how should I feel, or why do I feel as if my whole world stopped?. It was like… I was clutching at straws, trying to grasp from thin air which emotions should I be feeling at that moment.

It was just a smack on the lips, but it was as if I could feel electricity coursing from her lips through mine, and then making its way throughout my whole body.

It felt like an eternity, her lips on mine, and I knew at that moment that I should have already pushed her away… but my heart was telling me no, make this moment last forever.

And then she broke away, and I tried my hardest to stop myself from reaching out and pleading, no, please, don’t stop.

She lowered her head, and I was thankful for that, because I didn’t want her to see me looking so conflicted.

She kissed me… this is so wrong… this is a sin!

But… when has loving ever become a sin?

I fought back a gasp, which Yoona thankfully did not notice.

Love? No… no. This isn’t love. This. Is. Not. Love.

Unable to think straight while trying to hide my scattered emotions, I told her the only words that I knew would make her go away. And would enable me to think in peace, to make sense of all these confusing thoughts…

“You better leave now, Im Yoona.”

Yoona stood up—thankfully without looking at my face—and as she was about to go out of my window, I saw the crucifix beside my windowsill, and I heard myself say:

“Please stay away from me.”

I knew that at that moment that I broke her heart into tiny million pieces, pieces that would never be put together again, and I knew that it was the right thing to do… it was right… but it didn’t feel right.

What was I thinking?

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Yes, this is Part I because... there will be other parts. LOL. Just kidding! :P I have been looking forward to writing SeoHyun's POV, and I decided to divide it in two parts, for each of those scenes where we all just wanted to strangle SeoHyun because she was such an a**hole towards Yoona. LOL. 

Thank you so so so much for sticking with this story until now, and to all the new subscribers, HELLO! Thank you for subscribing! And also for leaving comments! :D :D 

(And please greet me today, coz it's my birthday! Wieeeeeee~~~ LOL)