POETS NARCISSUS ~ a flower that represents to sorrowful memories 

Author's POV

The next morning Sehun woke up at 9 am so he could be sure that he had enough time to shower and get ready to meet up with Luhan, he had a smile plastered on his face the whole morning. When he had finally finished getting ready, he skipped downstairs to see his parents at the kitchen table eating breakfast. They both lit up upon seeing him waltz happily into the room.

"Where are you going this early?" his mother inquired, even though she knew that the only person who could get Sehun this giddy and flustered was Luhan.

"I'm going into town with Luhan, he's gonna take me through what we did this summer!" Sehun exclaimed as he popped a piece of toast in the toaster.

Sehun's parents shared a knowing and concerned look, Kai had filled them in on how much Luhan wanted to fix their friendship after what had happened while managing to leave out the part where he was actually the cause of the accident itself.

Sehun's father placed a reassuring hand on his wife's hand and replied, "Have fun, be safe."

Sehun smiled and nodded before taking his buttered toast and making his way to the fountain they had agreed to meet at the day prior. As he walked down the road and through familiar streets, he took a moment to breath in the fresh spring air around him. He had felt utterly trapped in the hospital, being out in the world helped him immensly in feeling free once again.

As he got closer to the fountain he noticed Luhan already sitting on a bench nearby talking to Xiumin, the boy on the soccer team that always showed a certain distaste for Sehun.

Luhan's POV

I had gone to the fountain a half hour earlier than we had planned, partly because I was nervous and partly because I knew Sehun would be too and he'd be here early as per usual. I hadn't been there for long before I noticed Xiumin running towards me, it looked as if he was out on a morning jog and much to my dismay he looked like he was coming to talk to me.

"Hey Lu!" he ran up with a charming smile and wave as he took his headphones off to talk as I predicted.

I looked up and smiled, "Hey, how's the morning run going?" 

"Pretty good! What're you up to?" he asked while doing the same thing he always does, looking at me up and down so he could check me out.

I didn't mind the attention, he's an attractive guy and he's sweet to me but his advances are too bold for my liking, he especially doesn't seem to understand personal space when it comes to me. Not to mention he's a jerk to Sehun because he's jealous of him, it's not surprising yet still upsetting to see a charming and kind guy like Xiumin lose his cool over Sehun. I have always appreciated his friendship nonetheless, he treats his friends like gold which is something I try not to take for granted.

"My eyes are up here," I say with a chuckle. I paused for a moment as I contemplated whether I should give him the real reason but before I could I saw his attention shift to someone behind me. 

"Look who it is," Xiumin said as Sehun walked up with a small smile. "I'm glad to see you're doing okay man."

Sehun looked shocked that Xiumin was being nice, let alone talking to him. I couldn't blame him, it's not like Xiumin has ever hidden the fact that he disliked Sehun because of me.

"Thanks!" Sehun replied bashfully.

Xiumin looked back and forth between Sehun and I before he caught on to what was happening, he put his headphones back on. 

"See you Lu," he waved and ran off to finish his jog luckily.

I looked up at Sehun and gave him a big smile, "You ready?"

"Always."

Sehun's POV

Luhan first took me to the ice cream parlor we always visited and bought us one bubble gum and one fudge flavored ice creams before we began our walk towards the river. 

"How's soccer going?" I asked while enjoying the sweet chocolate flavor.

"It's going great actually, being team captain is fun because I get to boss people around." Luhan chuckled lightly.

Hearing his laugh always brought me joy, I'd never get tired of hearing it or seeing his pretty face light up. 

"I'm glad you're enjoying it! I heard everyone loves having you as the captain too." 

"Where'd you hear that?" Luhan asked.

"Kyungsoo told me, him and Kai are dating now so him and I have become a lot closer." It was true, Kyungsoo was a great guy and I was glad Kai had found someone so genuinly kind to be with.

Luhan nodded in understanding before he looked up and pointed to a spot near the river for us to sit. Luckily it was a nice day out so everyone was enjoying the sun and gathering for a nice outing.

"So is this all we did? We seem like boring people," I laughed as Luhan threw a glare in my direction for calling him boring, he knew he was anything but.

"We did tons of things... I have a surprise for tonight though."

I smiled at the thought that Luhan had planned something just for us to enjoy, he truly was everything I wanted in a friend.

And maybe someday we'll be something more.

Author's POV

Luhan and Sehun spent the day visiting their favorite shops around town as well as their favorite place to eat, a little japanese ramen shop next to a flower shop.

It had been a long day of laughter and shared memories, Luhan filling in Sehun on what they supposedly did that summer and Sehun believing every word. Luhan had been lying through his teeth the whole day about their shared summer but he knew he had to make it right. He needed Sehun to understand that he truly does care for him and that the past is in the past before Sehun regains his memories and realizes that Luhan had been lying. Maybe, just maybe, it would soften the blow of learning the truth about what had happened between them.

Luhan's POV

The last thing on my list of things to do with Sehun was to ride the ferris wheel overlooking the water at sunset. I knew he loved to watch the sun setting over the horizen on sunny days like these so I figured it would be a nice ending to an amazing day.

Although, as much as I wanted to enjoy it, I had an underlying feeling of guilt the whole day for all the lies I had been spewing out and all of the secrets I had been keeping. I kept trying to convince myself it was for his own good that he doesn't know but I know that I need to tell him tonight before he finds out what really happened and decides I am the worst person on the planet.  

We had just finished having dinner and were walking down to the pier where the ferris wheel was located. I watched as his face lit up with joy upon realizing where we were headed.

"Lu! You're the best friend a guy could ask for," he smiled and nudged my arm as he excitedly walked faster towards our destination. I laughed and caught up to him quickly, we then proceeded to get in the little cabin of the ferris wheel and up we went.

Everything had been perfect today, I planned it all so he could be happy and yet here I am about to spoil it all for him because I can't hold the truth in anymore. The cabin stopped at the top and we gazed upon the sun setting, hues of red and orange glazed over the skies as it disappeared slowly.

I decided now was the time.

"Sehun, I have to tell you something," I started.

"Wait," Sehun interupted, "Me first,"

He leaned in and gave me a tight hug.

"Sehun--" I stammered as I wrapped my arms around him.

"No Lu just listen please," he smiled before continuing on, "Had it not been for you, I would've been lost back then and especially now. I felt like I lost a part of my identity and you make me feel like I'm back to normal again. So thank you. Thank you for being so amazing to me."

My eyes began to tear up as I realized how terrible of a person I was. I caused him so much pain and suffering and yet here I am taking the credit for being best friend of the year, I should be ashamed of myself.

And yet. I couldn't bring myself to do it. To tell him my horrible secret the ruined his life.

The tears began to spill onto my cheeks as the overwhelming sense of guilt took over but all I could do was hold him tighter and hope that one day he would forgive me when I told him.

But today is not that day.

~~~

University is kicking my whole . Chemistry is hard. All I do is watch SVU.

But seriously everyone stay safe and stay inside. Love youuu 

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