Your shock immediately stepped aside; making way for your anger to take the spotlight when you felt the sting coming from your neck. Everyone started screaming around you, like; hello? It should be you who should be screaming and you’d make sure to do it at the top of your lungs right on that lunatic’s ear with the intention of putting a hole in his eardrum. 
This is so unacceptable. You’re not going to let him get away with this. No one should be able to get away after hurting anyone, especially you. No one. So you moved to reach for the boy’s hair while the security guy behind you earlier was still holding him up by the collar of his shirt. You’re going to rip off as much hair as you can hold on to. But when your hand was already a breath away from the boy’s hair, you felt strong arms wrapped around your stomach and you were pulled away in a second. 
“Kaela, what are you doing?” It was Songmin. 
“Let go, Songmin-oppa.” You didn’t bother looking up at your security, because you’re still struggling to get out of his hold so you could attack that nutcase who’s already being dragged away from you as more airport security surrounded you. It wasn’t until you realized that fighting was futile when you could no longer see the insane boy, so you stopped wiggling out of Songmin’s hold. Especially because he’s now carrying you inside the airport through the throng of fans. 
“Mikaela!”
“Saranghe!” 
“Omo!”
“Aahh, yeppuda!”
Suddenly, the voices have become too loud, they were too close and you felt hands touching your arm again. You flinched. 
“No! Don’t touch!” Songmin shouted, his anger vibrating in his body and you can feel it. You pressed your face on Songmin’s chest, you heard him shouting some more, telling them to move and back off. 
The next moments were a blur. There was more pushing and screaming and next thing, you found yourself being lowered on a bench. Just when you thought you’re already free to breathe and stretch, Suri, Yunsoo and Nawoon crowded around you asking if you’re alright as they took the liberty of checking your body since you’re not answering their questions. It was Suri’s loud groan that brought you back to the ground. Yunsoo’s hand was under your chin and you realized they’re all looking at your neck as the sting you felt earlier resurfaced now that your senses are no longer overwhelmed by the overcrowd earlier. 
“That boy did this? How could you have allowed this to happen, Songmin-ah?!” Suri confronted your security. She looked so enraged that her face turned all red. 
“I’m sorry. I thought most of them were not Kaela’s fans.” Songmin explained, he doesn’t look defensive at all. He glanced at you and you could see him looking at your neck and his guilt expression indicated that he’s blaming himself as well. Being your personal security, it’s Songmin’s responsibility to communicate to the airport security to request assistance. You were also surprised at the sudden turn of events. 
“That’s not an excuse!” Suri said in exasperation. “This is going to be on the news when all of those kids upload the pictures on the internet. Sajangnim is going to-”
“I will speak to him, unnie.” You interrupted the conversation. It may be Songmin’s accountability, but he did his best to get you through.  
“But your mother will-” You interrupted her again.
“I’m okay. This is just a scratch.” And then you smiled sweetly at her so she’d forgive you for interrupting her twice. 
“Oops, there goes the holes in her face.” Nawoon said laughing. 
“That’s everyone’s weekness.” Yunsoo pretended to swoon that got you laughing even more. 
Suri took a deep breath to calm her nerves and you took her momentary silence to divert the conversation to something else.
“But I’m still angry at you, oppa.” You told the surprised man, who probably assumed for the worst. “Because you didn’t let go of me. I wanted to make that whacko bald forever.” You whined and pointed at your neck. “Because this is unforgivable!”
Thankfully, that made Songmin smile a little. He probably remembered how you endeavored to get away from his grip to attack the boy. 
He reached to pat your head gently. “It won’t happen again.” 
But before you could thank him, you heard Suri’s voice. “Thank goodness. Please check her neck and make it fast, we still have to check-in.” 
A nurse came into your view. Yunsoo and Nawoon immediately gave way. She checked your neck first and explained that it’s not serious. The mad boy was only able to scrape his fingernails lightly over your skin and then she was talking about the redness and swelling and how it’s normal and will subside quickly. After she applied a really cool soothing balm for the sting and swelling, your team went in for check-in. 
Suri lead the way to the waiting area, still giving Songmin a cold shoulder so you, Nawoon and Yunsoo made sure he doesn’t feel so left out because Suri was obviously ignoring him. 
“We have thirty minutes.” Suri said and waved at someone and when you followed her line of vision, you saw a group of people looking at your direction. “Come on, Kaela... I’ll introduce you to your sunbae’s.” 
You totally forgot. She mentioned you’re going to be in the same flight with SHINee in the car earlier. You can feel the excitement emanating from Nawoon’s body beside you as she started to stiffen and she looked so flustered. But Yunsoo kept her teasing subtly by sneakily poking Nawoon’s sides. 
Familiar people stood when you reached the benches in the waiting area, you immediately recognized them. This time, you already know their names and faces because Nawoon and Yunsoo helped you get to know every single SMTown Idols because it’s necessary for you to identify them so you could greet them properly. Suri had already briefed you last night that before the concert starts, you have to visit the other idols’ waiting rooms to greet them and introduce yourself. All of them. Because you’re a rookie and that’s how it is in this business and in Korea. Good luck to your spinal cord. 
And now it has started. You readied your smile to the boys who are now looking at you. “Annyeonghaseyo!” You greeted and bowed five times since there are five of them. Even to their managers and the rest of their team. Suri nodded at you, meaning you have to introduce yourself and you did. All of them were looking at your face even after you’re done with your introductions and one of their managers had to nudge them and they started introducing themselves; laughing while doing so. 
Kibum started talking about how he didn’t expect you to choose SM though he did really want you to choose the company and he was happy you did anyway.
“Oh, she chose SM?” Minho said, looking so surprised. 
Laughing, Taemin asked him why he didn’t know and said that he’s just lying. 
“Ahniyo, I thought she chose BoA Entertainment.” And everyone including their managers and your team laughed. “She did say, ‘I choose BoA-seonsaengnim’, right?”
Even you were laughing because you remembered that epic-fail moment. Apparently, Minho watched the finals. 
“I want to join BoA Entertainment too.” Jinki said afterwards and the rest of the members agreed. 
“What happened to your neck?” Taemin noticed the scratch mark. 
You frowned when reminded. “People were pushing earlier and someone decided that scratch marks look good on my neck.” You rolled your eyes.
They all laughed. “Gwiyeowo.” That was one of their managers. 
“Mwu? The scratch mark?” Taemin asked the manager. 
“Ahniyo, it’s her. Her expressions are all pretty.” He explained and you smiled and thanked him. 
“That’s right. It’s a shame.” Kibum said. “You look like a mannequin on tv, they probably wanted to touch you and see if you’re real.” 
You laughed at his explanation. You know he was supposed to make it sound like a compliment but it sounded so creepy to you.  
“Does it hurt?” Jonghyun asked, looking so concerned.
“A little. I wanted to hurt him back, but my security pulled me away.” You turned to Songmin again and playfully raised a brow at him. 
Then Songmin explained how you struggled to get out of his hold earlier and said that most girls would just stay put or even cry but you didn’t, instead; you wanted to get even. 
“Oh chincha?” Minho asked, taken aback by the story. 
“Of course!” You said, with your chin up and then covered your mouth with your hand and laughed. “Korean girls don’t do that, right?” You asked Suri, suddenly realizing that there were a lot of camera’s earlier and your little stunt would definitely make the rounds on the internet again. Or not. You crossed your fingers. 
They all laughed, looking so surprised that you wanted to do such a thing. People always gets so surprised with how you speak and act sometimes. Just because you’re a girl with dimples and small body, they expect you to act prim and demure like a dainty little princess. What a load of nonsense! That’s ism. Women aren’t supposed to be bound by certain expectations set by the society with regards to how they act or speak as long as they don’t hurt other people. 
But you understand that you’re in Korea right now and people might not get you because of their culture. It might be fine for you to act like a tomboy in England or in Singapore, but in here you have to curtail your rebellious tendencies. 
The boys were very funny and accommodating. All of them. You’re not really that comfortable with boys around you but you don’t show it. You’ll never trust any boy with your heart just like your mother did; you’ll never make the same mistake, but that didn’t mean that you won’t give them the chance to at least be a friend to you. It seems like they can at least be a good friend as you had a lot of guy friends in school and they’re better of like that. Anything more and they will take advantage. That’s all you can ever give. Anything beyond friendship is not an option. 

$$$

You frowned at the paper in your hands which contains the order of performance for tonight’s concert. “I thought I’m only going to sing one song.” Then you shoved the rest of the contents on your plate in your mouth with Nawoon telling you to eat like a girl because you’re not at home and everyone in the hotel’s restaurant is looking at you. To that, you only rolled your eyes at her. 
Suri shook her head and swallowed the food in first before she spoke. “They changed it just this morning. Sajangnim ordered to make your first SMTown stage special since this is your intro stage as an SM artist.”
So that’s why you’re going to perform last. Suddenly, you’re going to sing two songs. First is Skyscraper which is your most viewed YouTube video that now has 9 million views followed by Wake Up which is your second with 7 million and is now on its second week at number one on most music charts. 
Actually, you can sing as many songs as they want with pleasure. That’s how much you love singing. Hell, you can even do it for free.
After lunch, you went to the venue with some people asking for your autograph along the way; like the hotel and even the event staffs when you reached the location. 
Suri said that you’re the last one scheduled for practice that’s why you didn’t see other idols. When you went up the stage, you couldn’t help but take a deep breath at the size of the stadium. It was really big and could cater up to 20 thousand people standing up according to Suri. The musical director behind you cut your daydreaming and told you what you need to do during the performance. They put a piano on the stage and you started practicing. 
“Whoa!” The musical director praised your piano skills and was amazed at how you can pull off such high notes even when you’re sitting. You smirked the moment the director turned his back on you. Then someone handed you a guitar and you gave the director a pleading look. 
“Can I use my own guitar?” You asked. 
The director wanted to see and hear you use it first and so you did. He later on agreed and praised you once again for your guitar skills. 
“Kamsahamnida.” You smiled at him genuinely and bowed. 

$$$

“Kaela!” 
You hid the bag of chips behind you even when you’ve probably already been seen. 
Yunsoo stormed towards you and placed her hands on each of her sides while giving you a look, and you immediately handed her the chips. She took it and then ate it in front of you with the intention of making you feel envious.
“So I’m not allowed to eat but you are?” You asked her. 
“We had a deal. You eat too much junk foods.” Yunsoo reminded you. “Remember, eighty percent healthy and twenty percent indulgence! And you agreed to it!” 
“Where’s your proof?” You stood. “I didn’t sign anything!” 
Yunsoo’s shocked expression was almost convincing. “I can’t believe it. Mikaela Bennett doesn’t have a word of honor!” 
“How did you know that I’ve already consumed the twenty percent for today?” 
Yunsoo raised a brow. “You had two bags of cheese puffs earlier.” 
“I only had one!” 
Yunsoo laughed sarcastically. “Yeah, only one in front of me and another one behind my back. Think you can outsmart me? Think again. You should be thankful. I’m eating this for you.” She continued stuffing some more chips on and you were just about to say something again when you saw her look behind you. 
That’s when Suri entered the room only to find you still not dressed that’s why you and Yunsoo rushed to prepare before the manager give you both a tongue lash.

$$$

You’re last to perform but you had to do the duties of a rookie so you came early. Surprisingly, you found BoA waiting for you on your waiting room and later on realized by the names on the door that you’re sharing it with her. How overwhelming. 
You bowed as you greet her and expected to see her genuine smile as she greets you back but no, she was frowning and she immediately stood from her seat and walked towards you then pushed your chin up. She’s inspecting your scratch marks. 
BoA turned to Suri beside you with her serious face. “What happened? I saw a video on Naver, it was a mess. It could traumatize her.” She sounded like she’s scolding your manager now. 
“I’m sorry. It won’t happen again.” Suri answered. 
“Yes. It’s a learning experience.” You stepped in. Honestly, you don’t blame Suri or Songmin. It’s not like they wanted it to happen anyway. “But I really want to know what happened to that Wolverine wannabe.” You decided to shift the conversation towards a slightly different direction. 
BoA took a deep breath and pulled you to sit next to her on the couch. “It was on the news two hours ago, I guess you haven’t checked on it yet. He’s already in custody for questioning and will be detained overnight while waiting for you to file a complaint.”
You frowned. “I just really want to rip his hair off and then let him go afterwards.” 
With that, BoA laughed followed by everyone who heard the conversation. 
“Speaking of that, you should see this fancam.” Said BoA’s manager and showed you his phone and played a shaky video of you reaching for people’s hands to shake and then suddenly your eyes widened and you looked so alarmed at the hand over your collarbone. You cringed at the sudden change in your expression, you winced in pain as the hand tried to hold on to you by his nails as the security went for the boy. Immediately after, you saw your face turn into anger as you seek your attacker with your eyes with the intensity of a predator looking for its prey. You moved to reach for the boy but Songmin was holding you suddenly and you saw yourself struggle to be free until Songmin decided to carry you out of the crowd. “Everyone’s talking about this now.” 
You chastised yourself for your lack of control. “It’s not a good thing, right?” 
BoA put an arm over your shoulder. “People were amused at your reaction. You showed something uniquely you, so don’t worry. I like your reaction too, I would’ve paid to see you rip his hair off.” When she said that, it made you laugh. Then BoA started asking about your new apartment and if there’s anything you need and you’re so touched. 
“Shilyejiman BoA-sshi, but Kaela have to do her rookie’s duties.” Suri said. 
BoA looked at her wrist watch. “Oh! Well then, I’ll go with her.”
Suri looked so surprised. “Chinchayo?” 
Nodding, BoA pat her shoulder. “Ne.” She said and then pulled you gently out of the room. 
You reached the nearest waiting room and the sign said Red Velvet. When you entered everyone in the room started greeting BoA who also greeted them back. “I’d like to introduce a new addition to the SMTown family, Kaela.” She stepped aside to give you the floor. 
You bowed at the five girls who looked truly excited to meet you. “Annyeonghaseyo, bangapsumnida. Chonun Mikaela Bennet-imnida, please call me Kaela.” 
“Whoaah, Kaela-sshi isn’t wearing a make-up right now, right?” Joy asked BoA who nodded. Right, you just arrived and you haven’t even changed your clothes yet too. “Daebak, your skin is so fine and white.” She said as she moved closer. You felt like you could blend in with this group because you have around the same height as everyone except Joy and Seulgi. 
You understand that having a white skin is something that would subject you to at lot of people’s adoration here. Somehow, you think that your skin tone and dimples really made you stand out here in Korea. Hopefully, people will be able to see through your physical appearance and start to identify you as a great singer, songwriter and musician and not just some idol with a pretty face. 
For the next few minutes, you listened to the girls complement you for your looks, but when Wendy started talking about your voice, she made you come alive. You know the girl has a really great voice too so you returned the complement. 
“I’ve always been interested in musical since I watched Wicked in Canada when they went on tour.” Wendy said.
This is your kind of conversation. “Chincha? That’s my favorite musical, I played Glinda’s part in our school before.” Then you started talking about the songs and all that stuff and BoA had to interrupt you because you still have a lot of waiting room’s to visit. 
The next waiting room you visited is So Nyuh Shi Daes'. When you entered, everyone started greeting BoA first just like in the previous room, they’re all very beautiful in person. Then BoA pushed you forward to introduce yourself once again. Right after you were done, Taeyeon immediately attacked you with a hug. She frowned at you after she pulled away. “We were supposed to have dinner, remember?”
You nodded. “Ne.”
“Great. Let’s have it this week, okay?” She decided and you agreed.
“I suggest you invite me to that as well.” BoA said.
“Yah, me too!” Tiffany said, raising her hand in the air. 
“How about me? I won’t forgive you for not inviting me!” Sooyoung threatened and everyone ended up expressing their interest to join the dinner date. 
They all wanted you to call them unnie and you felt so cared for by the girls. Later on after you left the room, BoA said that that’s how it works in the company. The sunbae’s have the responsibility to take care of their hoobae’s. 
The next room was F(x)’s waiting room. The four girls are a bit more formal than SNSD and Red Velvet but they were nonetheless very accomodating as well, especially Amber who immediately asked about your scratch mark and absent-mindedly spoke to you in English. 
“How’s your neck? Does it still hurt?” She asked.
You gave her an assuring smile. “Not anymore. The nurse in the airport applied something on it and it’s starting to dry up so we can cover it with concealer later on.” 
“Good to know. Had I been on your situation earlier, I’d have done the same thing. It’s a shame your security got in the way.” She commented and everyone laughed when she started throwing punches in the air.
“If I have that kind of accent, I won’t stop talking.” Krystal suddenly commented and everyone erupted into a fit of laughter again. 
When you’re out the door, BoA gently ran her hand up and down your back, while smiling at you. “Tired? We still have four rooms to go.” 
“Do I have to do it with idols from other companies too?” You asked, suddenly feeling the need to have a back massage. 
“Yes. I remember when I just debuted and attended a music show, there were a dozen sunbae’s I had to visit individually to greet.” After BoA said that, you started to doubt your decision to enter Kpop and the temptation of going back to Singapore is suddenly too sparkly. “But now we have too many idols, so too many sunbae’s for you. Now when in music shows, you no longer need to visit them to greet them but only greet them when you bump into each other maybe on the hallway or the stage.” 
You exhaled loud enough to make BoA laugh at your relieved expression. “Thank goodness.” Then you went defensive, she might misunderstand. “It’s not like I want to be disrespectful but my back is already aching.”
“It’s because you’re not used to it and you bow too low, you have to use your hands as leverage..” She taught you the proper way.
The next room was SR15B’s waiting room. According to Suri, they’re also rookies like you and are just waiting for their official debut but are already busy promoting. Their debut is scheduled for next year so by November, you’re going to be their sunbae. That thought suddenly gave you strength. At least there’s one less group on the list of possible reasons for you to develop scoliosis. 
Most of them are just around your age with three that are a year or two younger than you.
You could tell that they’re still rookies because they’re more formal to BoA and even to you like they’re very conscious and awkward. 
The next room was Super Junior. Their waiting room was the loudest and messiest. Some were singing, dancing and talking loudly when you and BoA entered and they immediately surrounded you even before BoA explained the reason you’re here. 
Siwon said he voted for you many times so you owe him at least an Instagram picture together so you immediately obliged. After that, the others started claiming that they voted as well and asked for a picture with you while BoA stood looking like a proud mommy on the side once again. 
Everyone were talking to you at the same time, like they’re in a competition with your attention. Your jaw ached for laughing continuously. But you felt their warmth and pride towards you and they wished you good luck and said they’re looking forward to share the stage with you.
Heechul even promised to make sure that no boys, especially from other companies, will get past him. 
BoA had to scream to be heard when she said you have to go because you need to prepare too and there are still two more rooms you need to visit.
“Nah, you can skip those two group of children. You won’t learn anything from them, their mentalities are as good as a rookies’.” Kyuhyun said but clearly sounding like he’s joking. 
BoA hit him on his arm and told you not to believe in him and pulled you out of the room again. 
Next is EXOs waiting room. But you were surprised to find all the members of SHINee inside playing with some of the members and the room was even louder than Super Juniors’. You remembered Kyuhyun’s words and laughed silently as everyone halted their respective activities and eyed your direction. All of them stood at once and greeted BoA. It seems like BoA is the sunbae of everyone. You started to appreciate this kind of power structure. But then it’s only easy on the sunbae and as of the moment you are at the bottom of the pyramid so...
Anyway, you’ve already met SHINee this morning at the airport and some of EXO but they still playfully introduced themselves again starting with Chen who stepped forward and extended his arm for a fist bump that you immediately accepted. 
The ones you haven’t met personally were Yixing, Sehun and their leader Junmyeon who clearly were amused at the way you greeted the rest of their members and even did the same thing with you. SHINee on the other hand tried the fist bump with you too. They’re definitely like kids and you’re like the shiny new toy. Oh right, you actually are the shiny new toy in SMTown. No pun intended. 
“Noona, how do we audition for BoA Entertainment? We want to join as well.” Minho brought it up again and when BoA didn’t get the humor, Taemin reminded her of your answer on finals night, to which BoA laughed so hard at. 
“Ahniyo, it’s invitational only. You have to impress me like Kaela did.” BoA rejected them and they pretended they were hurt. Jinki and Junmyeon even pretended they’re having a heart attack.
You clung to BoA like a possessive little baby and made a face at the boys. To which they whined like the jealous other babies in the playroom. 
“Are you going to sing Promise tonight, Kaela-sshi?’ Yixing asked. 
You told them that you’re only going to sing two songs. The boys started teasing Kyungsoo that he might cry again. 
Suddenly, Jongin inched closer to you with a worried look on his face. You smiled at him when you realized that he’s looking at your neck.
“Gwenchanayo? Does it hurt?” He asked.
“Ne. I’m fine, it’s just a scratch. Literally.” You said, tapping his shoulder. “What hurts is because I wasn’t able to execute my revenge.” 
Obviously, the boys have seen the video when they started imitating what you did. There’s Baekhyun who pretended to be you and Chanyeol as Songmin with Chen as the lunatic and they re-enacted what happened earlier in the airport. 
Your stomach hurt because of continuous laughter. 
BoA reminded everyone that you still need to prepare so you had to leave now and you wished them all a great performance as you bowed for the final time and waved them goodbye. 
“See? They all like you. They’re all going to take care of you. We are your second family now, okay?” BoA said. 
“Kamsahamnida, BoA-ssh-”
“Unnie!”
You bit your lower lip and corrected yourself. “Kamsahamnida, unnie.”

$$$

While doing your vocal warm-up one of the organizers knocked on the door and peeked inside telling you that you’re next. You did some trills as you wore your bracelet. It’s a guitar pick bracelet that is only made of a black string and a dangling guitar pick that you actually use when you play. It’s easier to have it ready in your wrist than to put it on your pockets or attach it on the guitar. 
You walked together with the organizer to the backstage and you met some members of Super Junior who wished you luck and right on time, BoA got off the stage and talked to you about food and something about a party and you know she’s doing that because she’s worried that you’re nervous and she wants to lessen it even just for a little by diverting your current thoughts to something else.
A video of you was suddenly playing on the big screen and you can also see it on the plasma tv. They showed some clips of you from Kpop Star starting from your introduction and some of your performances and lastly to the finals where you chose SM. 
BoA was laughing beside you. “I thought they’re going to show that part you said my name.” That made you laugh as well.
To be honest, you’re shaking. This is the biggest audience you’ll ever perform in. According to Suri, the organizers confirmed 17 thousand fans in attendance. But you can do it. You can do this. Breathe in and breathe out. 
When finally the video was over, you saw the name ‘Kaela’ was on the screen. You’re going to be addressed by that mononym from now on. 
The organizer signaled that you can go to the stage now. You did a sign of the cross and uttered a silent prayer as you walk up the stage. Great, they made you wear heels. Now your so uncomfortable. 
The moment you stepped on the stage, you heard the loudest scream you’ve ever heard in your entire life. You smiled and bowed at everyone before you sat on the piano stool. 
Ten years ago, you’re only performing in front of your classmates and sometimes their parents as well during recitals. But even then, whenever you perform, you put your soul into it. Now that your dream has become a reality, you’re not going to let anxiety and fear destroy it for you. 
You closed your eyes to condition yourself, breathed in and out and when you opened them once again, you’re ready to go. You let your fingers dance effortlessly over the keys and put your heart and soul into the song as if they were your own words and your experiences you’re singing. “Go on and try to tear me down, I will be rising from the ground. Like a skyscraper...” Although it’s important for you to be heard, you also want to listen to them; to those people who listens to you, and you could hear them singing along and it just felt so great. “Go run, run, run. I’m gonna stay right here. Watch you disappear. Yeah ah...” You liked that your voice is louder than the music on the bridge and it suddenly diminuendo’s at the later part until you’re whispering the line. “Like a skyscraper...” Yes because that’s what you are. A skyscraper rising from the ground. 
When you’re finished, you’re expected to make a speech or something before your next song. As you stood, people are still screaming and cheering for you. You’re already wearing a wireless headset microphone so all you need to do is walk closer to the edge and closer to the audience since there’s a long runway. 
“Annyeonghaseyo Busan!” You bowed once again. You’re kinda getting the hang of it, especially since you now do it comfortably after BoA taught you the proper way. “Chonun Kaela-imnida.” You waved at everyone and then afterwards you suddenly don’t know what to say. You looked back to the organizers at the side of the stage and they kept on signaling you to keep talking. Damn, you’re not really that spontaneous. You’re fine with public singing but not public speaking. You laughed and faced the audience once again. “They want me to speak for ten minutes and I’m not really good at talking.” Everyone started laughing and cheering, probably detecting your dilemma. And then you remembered something, so you raised your hand with your point finger up to indicate that you have an idea. “Ah! I remember I haven’t been able to thank everyone who supported me in my journey at Kpop Star.” The audience laughed at your sudden eureka-moment. “So I’ll take this opportunity to thank all of you for listening to me and believing in me.” Then suddenly, the rest came down like water from the faucet. You suddenly know what to say. “I’ve always wanted to sing ever since I could remember. At one point, I wanted to make it to Broadway or the West End. I started out in musicals and then something happened. At that time I felt so defeated and weak and taken for granted, and then I heard songs by Christina Aguilera and Kelly Clarkson and they cheered me up, they motivated me. They’re women empowering songs. They told me that I could be a brave and independent girl and strong enough to conquer my fears and insecurities, and that no one can hurt me unless I allow them to because I have the power to do so.” Everyone was suddenly silent, listening to you. “From then on, I promised to myself that I will make more songs like those. Through my songs, I will tell you the true meaning of girl power! I will be the sister who’ll watch over all the princesses like you, because we all are. And we deserve just the best. Please look forward to that.” They all started screaming once again. “And of course, boys are also free to listen to it.” The moment you added that, the audience laughed and cheered some more. “So now, for my next song.”
You walked back to the side of the backstage to get your guitar and you immediately wore your guitar strap over your left shoulder and the audience are just screaming continuously knowing that they’ll hear another song. They’ve been screaming Wake Up since earlier. 
You returned to your position earlier, on the edge of the runway and closer to the audience. “This song, just like I said before is a song about love, but it’s not a love song. I know you’re curious as to why I wrote this kind of song.” The people agreed and were screaming ‘waeyo’. “This story is about that girl who’d once believed that love was all about happily ever after but got the chance to see the dark side of it.” Then you started strumming the chords indicating that you’re done answering. There’s a band in the backstage that’s accompanying you. With the wireless microphone attached to your guitar, you’re able to walk around as you play. “Cos’ I’ve seen everything, everything...” It feels so good to hear people singing along to your own song. Gone was the anxiety and fear you felt earlier. You felt like you’re right where you belong right now and it feels like ‘home’.
When you’re done, you bowed down one more time with the lowest you could ever bow. That’s to thank them for accepting you and your songs. You heard them chanting your name and they sounded so good. “Kamsahamnida! Saranghaeyo!” You told them and then ran back to the stage. 
According to the instructions, all of the idols are going to come out to bow together to thank the fans for coming. Plus there’s a shirt you have to wear so you’re going to change into that. 
BoA and Taeyeon were waiting for you in the backstage already wearing the same baby blue t-shirt you’re supposed to wear that has SMTown Concert Tour logo printed on it. They’re the reason why you chose SM and you’re glad that you did. 
“Omo Kaela-ya that was so fierce! You’re so pretty. I’m so proud of you.” Taeyeon hugged you really tight. 
“Kamsahamnida, unnie.” You said, at the corner of your eyes you saw the other idols starting to gather to go back to the stage. 
“Hurry and get dressed...” BoA tapped you lightly and then Nawoon and Yunsoo pulled you to the waiting room to get dressed. 
“Do you think I said too much?” You asked. 
“No. It was daebak. While you’re talking, they’re so silent.” Yunsoo handed you the t-shirt. 
“Will they still like me if they find out that I’m actually a man-hater?” You asked again. 
Nawoon and Yunsoo suddeny stopped moving, immobilized by what you just said and then you laughed at their faces telling them that it was just a joke. Now that’s the joke. But well. 
Yunsoo accompanied you to the stairs to get to the stage but you didn’t let go of her even when you’re already on the stage at the side. You saw her shiver and you wanted to torment her more so you pulled her more, pretending like you’re scared. But then you let go of her after a while. 
Everyone was walking around back and forth the stage to bow and thank the fans and you don’t know where to go and the audience on the right most side of the stage were calling you and you saw a banner with your name on it and some people raising their phones with your name on the screen. 
You walked towards them and bowed again. “Kamsahamnida!” You said as you waved, copying what the other idols are doing. 
“Mikaela!!!” One screamed at the top of her lungs as she raises a small blue inflatable ball in the air and you realized that Doraemon’s face was on it. You remembered mentioning once in Kpop Star that your favorite cartoon character is Doraemon. You encouraged her to throw it to you and she did but you hit the ball back to her direction like you would a volleyball and you laughed when someone hit it again back to you. You hit it once again and some other fan hit it back to you once more but this time you’re keeping it. It’s your first gift from a fan so you hugged it to show her how much you liked it. The security people below the stage were laughing at your interaction with the fans.
“Kamsahamnida!” You said and removed the bracelet you’re wearing and the fans in your side started screaming knowing you’re going to give it to her. You were just about to descend the staircase to personally give it to her when two security guys stopped you. “I’ll be really quick, I’ll just hand it over to her.” You told the guards and your rebellious side kicked in when you started to take the first step down the stairs but was only stopped by the hand that encircled your arm and you were suddenly pulled back up and your side bumped into a hard and warm body. 
“Don’t. It’s for your and their own good.” Said that voice that immediately reminded you of the first time you heard it. You looked up at Jongin towering over you, looking at you intently but when he realized that you’ve already looked up his face flushed and then he turned to the fans, pointing something. When you followed, you realized he’s pointing at the barrier. “They will start to push and the one’s in the front will get crushed.” He explained and you nodded. 
“Chincha? Oh, I see.” You suddenly felt cold. You don’t understand why when his warm breath is actually fanning your neck and the side of your face. That’s supposed to make you feel warm, right? 
“Give it to me.” You saw his open palm in front of you and wondered for a moment what he’s asking for. “Your bracelet. You’re going to give it to her, right?” 
You immediately placed the bracelet on his palm and then he moved and passed the bracelet to one of the security guy and gave him instruction. Then you saw the security gave the bracelet to the girl at the front who looked so happy as she waves at you and said thanks. 
“Don’t do that again, okay?” Your skin almost separated from your body at the sound of Jongdae’s voice beside you. You didn’t realize he’s actually there. “Something like that has happened before in our fan signing event. We went close to the railing and they started pushing and the barrier gave way and some fans got injured.” He explained. 
You smiled at him. “Algesumnida.” Then you turned to thank Jongin too but he’s no longer behind you. When you looked around, you saw him already a few meters away with Sehun and Junmyeon, waving to fans.
“Aigoo, gwiyeopda.” Jongdae uttered beside you and when you turned to him, he was also looking at Jongin’s direction. 
But before you could ask him what he meant and who he was referring to, you heard your name being called. It was Siwon and Heechul, looking for you and then there was Jongdae and Jinki pushing you forward and raising their hands to indicate that they’ve captured you. They want you on the center stage. 
When you passed by where Jongin is standing, he didn’t turn to look at you as if he’s avoiding eye-contact with you.