Jonghyun’s POV

“Hello hyung!”

“Hyung? What does that even mean Seunghyun? I hope it's not a bad word” I said half asleep. 

“Of ocurse not, it means brother, sorry I sometimes forget you don’t speak Korean very well” He apologized laughing. 

“Oh, that’s ok Bro, you just taught me another word. So, what’s going on? It’s almost two in the morning in Seoul right? Are you having trouble to sleep?”

“Yeah. I wish I had gone with you to Colombia”

“I wish you had come too. I was so eager to introduce you to the band. They already know father but I wanted them to meet you since we will be doing our debut in a year and a half in Korea. You have to be our tour guide or something. I already talked them about you and everything”

“Jonghyun, can I ask you something?”

“Sure”

“Have you ever felt reduced to nothing?”

“You are not planning on killing yourself right? Cause I’m gonna call dad right now”

“No, of course not. I have no plans to die yet. It’s just that I feel so empty right now”

“Are you having girl’s trouble? ”

“Yes, I feel like I am loosing her. I try not to give it so much importance, I try to be happy for her but my mind keeps telling me nobody loves her like I do and I know she loves me and…I’m talking like a little girl right now”

“Well, your mom sent me a picture of your girlfriend, dude she is really something. She is gorgeous I would be like you too, not wanting to loose her and everything but unfortunately you came to the wrong person, you know I haven’t had a single serious relationship so…”

“Yeah, my girlfriend. You are right, that’s the first thing I must settle”

“But Seunghyun, seriously, just enjoy. You are not dying, you are not ill, you are handsome, intelligent and a good person. You have everything to be happy. If its meant to be then its going to happen, if not just let it go ok?”

“You were after all, the right person to talk to hyung”

We laughed together and that was our last conversation. I had asked him to come with me to Colombia to look for inspiration, but he said he had something to take care of in Korea. Nine hours later I got a call from my father telling me Seunghyun was missing and by the end of the day he called to tell me Seunghyun had died. I looked for the fastest plane to fly to Korea but I arrived two days after the funeral. That was the second time I saw Yoona. As I was walking to Seunghyun’s grave I saw the figure of a girl on her knees smiling. And older man came to pick her when I was about to arrive, her silhouette is the only thing I saw, and a bit of her face when she turned around, but she wasn’t smiling anymore. She was now sad.

“You said you had no plans to die” was the first thing I said in front of his grave. I know Seunghyun’s body wasn’t there, but I pretended I was talking to him. I put the flowers I was carrying on top of the tomb and breathe heavily. “I know I was an awful person to you Seunghyun, I’m so sorry to not being able to discover soon how great you were. I personally think heaven does exist and I know for sure you are resting there now. I’m gonna miss you dongseng but that will be only until we meet ech other again”  my voice was starting to crack “I’ll become the best person so I can catch up with you later in heaven” I couldn’t say more. I stood there for an hour and then left.  

When I arrived home and saw my father my heart broke again,  he was really sad, he became even sadder after seeing Seunghyun’s mother. That was the worst part. She was so lost; she was a beautiful woman but now she was gone. I undertood what my mother once said to me. Since I was an only child she told me she was living because of me, and if one day I was missing she would stop being who she was, now Seunghyun’s mother was changing. She wasn’t the same lady because she had lost her only child.  I stood in Korea for a week, not in my father’s house but in a hotel. I was present in every ceremony. A lot of people showed up but one person was missing.  My father seemed pretty affected by that abscense.

“I don’t understand, she is Seunghyun’s best friend. I was sure she had to come”

“Maybe if you show me a picture of her I can help you to look for her”

“Well, Seunghyun had a lot of pictures with her but her mother has decided no one can go in his room. Except for the cleaning personnel we are not allowed to go in”

“I see”

Eventually I came back to Japan. Given the circumstances my band didn’t debut in a year, my father was busy helping her wife to recover from the great lost she had just had so he quit his job but not his position as main stockholder. Finally after four years my father had taken his company fully again. The first thing he did was to sign my band and me. The anticipation the company created was big. We were something even before our debut. Most girls and teenagers tried to scape security to get an autograph even tough we were in our late twenties.

I was particularly excited. I had trouble to adjust life without Seunghyun, not because we were brothers, but because we were real friends, so I wanted to shine in his country and dedicate everything to him since my father had told me Seunghyun was interested in music before his death.

One morning the third of May, I was jumping in the stage where we were going to have our first concert when my foot entangled with the wire of my microphone.

“Careful!” I heard Yonghwa scream but it was too late. My first reaction when I reached the ground was to laugh so my band mates laughed along, but when I tried to stand up I noticed something was not right. I had dislocated my knee. The guys took me immediately to the hospital where the doctor said it was nothing serious but I had to spend two weeks in the hospital. Minhyuk and Jongshin assured me it was not a big deal since the concert was due in a month. Still I felt annoyed and angry. My humor eased a bit when I was introduced to my nurse. Her name was Seohyun. She was so upright I knew right away I wanted to cause trouble, so when she was out I took a wheelchair and drove it trough the whole hospital. I was enjoying myself when I saw her. It was almost six in the afternoon. The sun was going down.

“You know I’m such a fool for you” she was singing.

Yoona’s POV

Pain, fatigue, fear, emptiness and then pain again. Those were the only feelings I was able to live with the next two years. Everything was gray. The sun, the sky, the things that I used to like... only one thing kept the same. Whenever I listened the piano I would smile even a bit.

I couldn’t make it to Seunghyun’s funeral. I appeared two days later after the doctor made sure I wasn’t going to suffer another attack. I was still in shock. I still didn’t want to believe my best friend had died. I looked at his grave for an hour, until I gain courage to talk to him.

“I hope you can hear what I am about to tell you Seunghyun. I really wish you were here with me. I have no doubt you know how much you meant in my life. To put it simple you meant everything. No one is ever going to be as handsome and smart and intriguing and nice for me as you were. I miss you so much I can’t even deal with this pain. I am sad because you took a destiny it wasn’t yours” I wiped my tears and then continued “I know you wouldn’t want me to think this is my fault but now you are death so I can do the hell I want so I’m gonna feel guilty still” I laughed a bit “No, no no. I was just kidding. A friend told me about your accident. So, you were a hero to the end, eh? Are you in heaven right now Seunghyun? I hope you are cause that’s where I am going after this useless, tiring, empty life without you ends. Let’s see each other in a while first love” I cried again. People walking around looked at me with pitty eyes. I didn’t care, so eventually I started to cry until I couldn’t anymore. I took out my phone and played Seunghyun’s favorite song on piano: Vocalise. A smile drew on my face as I remembered him having trouble to learn such a difficult still beautiful song.

“Let’s go Yoongie, her brother is coming” My father interrupted. I turned around and nod. When I paused the song emptiness and pain appeared gain. I turned around trying to see him but I never got the chance to meet Seunghyun’s stepbrother. I didn’t go to the ceremonies because I felt guilty. I couldn’t show my face in front of her mother but I made sure to visit him everyday, thn once every week then three times a month to make sure his grave was in good conditions but also to talk to him about my day. Eventually his family decided to leave. My father told me he was going back to his birth town. He wanted to open a fishing store with the money he had saved. I didn’t want to go back, but I couldn’t stand in the same house I had lived with him so I left too. One morning after two weeks of giving up school I decided what I wanted to do with my life. I left the school, my friends…and Jongin for good without saying good-bye. I just disappeared and started to study medicine in a different school. By my third year I went to the cancer department and focused on kids. I was so eager to save lives and mostly children. By the end of the four-year I was doing my practices in a hospital where pediatricians were needed. I was accepted to work with kids who had advanced cancer. I tried to give positive energy to the kids that were under my care. During that time I understood the worst part of love is not love itself but the loss hat comes with it. I was immersed in that kind of environment everyday I was never able to forget Seunghyun. His presence stood with me during those four years and the only time I was able to give myself a break was when I was doing my service. I was known as the marshmallow nurse since I would always bring a bag of marshmallows for the kids. Marshmallows were Seunghyun’s favorite candy when he was around the age of the children in my department.

“Miss Yoona. I will take my nap if you give me a candy” Little Soo Hyung told me. I smiled at him, and sobbed his shoulder. My patients were the only people I allowed myself to show emotions.

“Fine, but you have to promise me this will be the last time. It’s not like you can eat them whatever you want. I have to share with other people you know?”  He nodded satisfied. “Ok, wait here, I’ll look for the bag of marshmallows” I stood up and went to the corner where my bag was. I was sure I had left the candies on the table but I couldn’t find it. Unconsciously I started to sing as I kept looking.

“But I’m in so deep. You know I’m such a fool for you”

Jonghyun’s POV

“Yey! I found them. Which one would you like? Pink, yellow or white?” she asked the little boy.

“Hey! It is forbidden to eat candies in here!” I yelled having fun. The girl turned around scared while the kid took the bag and tried to hide it really fast.

“I’m so sorry we were just…wait, older patients can’t be on this side of the building” I kept staring at her. I was so sure I had seen her before.. “Excuse me, do we know each other?” She asked me noticing how deep I was looking at her.

“Do you have any idea who I am? ” she shook her head when I asked.

“Wait!” I smiled pleased thinking she had recognized me without make up. I was so sure I was already a big star even before my official debut. “You are the pain in the Seohyun was talking about” The little kid laughed and I smiled a bit ashamed.

“You and Seohyun are really strange people. Any girl would love to bump into me” I said so confident.

“Wow, someone has a lot of ego and self confidence” she murmured.

“Of course.  I mean, can’t you see?”

“What?”

“I am a very attractive man” I declared pulling my hair away. She looked at me in a very strange way and laughed along with the kid. I was about to say something else when my doctor took the chair and started to walk in the opposite direction. Seohyun was walking by his side. I turned around to see the marshmallow girl one more time.

“See you later marshmallow!” I yelled.

Yoona’s POV

“It’s my first time watching you laughing like this with someone other than me and Yuri” Seohyun told me when after the guy in the wheelchair was taken to his room. My smile immediately faded as I shook my head denying.

“Is it true? Are you Lee Jonghyun’s nurse?!!” An excited Yuri appeared yelling. “Guys I swear you are the luckiest nurses ever. He is main guitarist of CNBlue, a rock group ready to debut in like a month. They are super handsome and talented” Yuri and Seohyun were my best friends. They were opposites. Seohyun was the smartest kid of the school, while Yuri was really hard working and consistent. They became friends. They were already in their second year when I registered in the school. Yuri heard I was always lonely and decided she wanted to be my friend. Seohyun and I met through Yuri and the three of us became inseparable since then. Of course Yuri was the only one who was connected with the real world. So whenever Seohyun and I had no idea it was Yuri’s job to explain it to us.

“Well, he is handsome but he is really tiring. He must be twenty something but he acts like a five year old kid” Seohyun had complained with me thirty minutes before Jonghyun appeared in front of my in his wheel chair. “Luckily he will stay here for only two weeks”

“Don’t mind him. Let’s think about, oh yeah, the guy you told me about. The son of the president of the hospital?” I tried to comfort my friend.

“Yes!” Seohyun inhale excited. “Yoona have you ever fell in love?” Yes, twice I thought. “I’ve never felt this way about anyone. Yuri knows him since sometimes he would go out with us. You don’t know him because you never leave home” Seohyun scolded me. “Anyways, he studied management in a top university here in Korea. After five semesters he transferred to Europe, I met him there as an exchange student. He enrolled in medicine and kept doing both degrees. He graduated with honors from management last year but he still has a long way to go before he gradutes from medicine. I know he does not want to admit it but he is only going to become a doctor because of his father. Because he wants him to be the head of the hospital”

“He sounds like a really smart boy” I commented.

“He is not only smart Yoona, he has a good heart. He was the most popular guy of his university but when I met him he was so nice…I think that’s the reason I fell for him, because you know me. I am very detailed but when it comes to him I can’t see anything but perfection”

“I think he suits you, given the description you just made. By the way, what’s his name”

“He doesn’t like to be called by his real name so we all call him Ka…”

“Seohyun, Lee Jonghyun disappeared, he took a wheelchair and is playing around the hospital. We need to fin him before the son of the chairman comes” The doctor came running and told Seohyun. She disappeared and thirty minutes later she came back to find the person he was looking for making fun of me. Then Yuri came. We were getting our bags ready to go when the same doctor came with a man, a man I already knew.

Kai’s POV

“Which department would you like to visit first?” The doctor giving the tour asked me. I was spechlees. I really didn’t understand why they were giving so much attention to a man who hadn’t even finished studied.

“The one that is closer” I answered trying to sound polite.

“That would be the children’s department. You’d love there. We have a nurse loved by all of the patients. They call her Marshmallow nurse” The doctor was explaining me but I wasn’t paying much attention.  “Oh, she is right there with Seohyun. You told me you know Seohyun right?” I  nodded smiling. Next to Seohyun was Yuri and next to Yuri was... “Girls before you go let me introduce you someone. This is the Chairman’s son. He is Kim Jongin and he will be doing his service just like you three. Please be respectful but also friendly with him since he just came back from Europe”

The universe became nothing and I became nothing along. I was speechless. Her, the woman I had dreamt of for the past four years was in front of me. She was the reason I changed in the first place. Whenever I wanted to live an easy life I would remember her and stand up again. I don’t remember if I smiled awkwardly or if I just stared at her creepy. I felt like two hours had just gone until I was brave enough to say something.

“Hey…” was my shout of hope and desperation. I wanted to say more, I wanted to ask her why she never called, why she disappeared why she left me alone living each day as a torture instead as a challenge like I was used to when I was with her. But a ‘hey’ in cracking voice was the only thing I was able to say.