(( A/N Updating on an odd day before I forgot about my mentioning I would do a double update since the last few things have mainly been focused on Jongdae. Plus this makes it so that the update this upcoming Friday (finally) has Tao in it~ Yay. Thank you for sticking through everything and staying around and being patient and not complaining about him not being in the story yet. I've ran into a problem like that with a different story, so it's nice that it's not on this one at least.

I'm still in a writer's block sadly, I was really hoping to get this finished before I start my next school term but stress and home junk has made it so I haen't really written anything for this in about a week. So I'm glad that I prepared for stuff like that and I have updates saved through October. Hopefully I get over the block soon and can post chapters faster. Fingers crossed~

I hope you all are doing well, I appreciate ever one of you so much, just so you know ))

Chapter Fourteen:
I Know All About the Drugs They Hide Inside the Music

He was falling again, a feeling he had come to know all too well. The weightless feeling mixed with the terrified throb in his stomach, making him feel sick. He opened his eyes to look at the blue sky above him, and a faceless figure who was getting further away as he fell backwards from the building roof he was sure he had been standing on before he had fallen back. He shut his eyes tightly, trying to remind himself that this was just a dream, that none of it was real, and it would all go away if he could just-
 

“Hey! Wake up!”
 

Chanyeol’s eyes shot open, Jongdae slowing coming into focus as the blue sky and building faded away. He swallowed hard, cringing at the sting in his throat, shutting his eyes again as he tried to slow his labored breathing, feeling a couple beads of sweat slid off of his forehead.
 

“I thought your pills made it so you didn’t scream,” Jongdae said, leaning back when the black haired male sat up, wiping the sweat from his forehead.
 

“They do, but I haven’t taken any the past couple of days,” Chanyeol said, scrunching his eyes tightly. Why was it always the same nightmare?
 

“Why not?” Jongdae asked and Chanyeol looked back to him.
 

“Because I didn’t trust myself to only take one,” He admitted. “It was safer to keep the bottle in the medicine cabinet and not touch it, just wait for you to come and take it.” Jongdae frowned, watching Chanyeol’s face closely.
 

“You don’t plan on me being around forever to play dealer, do you?” He asked and Chanyeol shook his head.
 

“Of course not. I know you shouldn’t even have to do it now, I just…” He ran a hand through his hair, sighing as he held his face in his hands. “I was hoping that it would have gone away.”
 

“Your addiction?”
 

“No, the… night terrors,” Chanyeol said, getting up from the bed. “Or that they would have changed in the last year, but it’s always the same exact thing.”
 

“Ever since you woke up in the hospital.” Chanyeol nodded. “You ever try to talking to a professional about it?” He asked.
 

“My mom said that she thinks they’ll go away one day if I take my medication long enough.”  He replied, Jongdae squinting a little in response. “More importantly, are you alright?” Chanyeol asked before Jongdae could reply to the comment about his mother.
 

“I’m fine. Why wouldn’t I be?”
 

“Yifan said he was taking care of you after he found you the other day, and I wasn’t allowed to check on you.” Jongdae tensed a little, looking away. “Are you going to tell me what’s going on?” He asked watching Jongdae closely. The smile he got when the other looked back at him threw him off completely.
 

“We’ll make a deal; you tell me what happened to put you in the hospital, and I’ll tell you where I went that day,” He stated and Chanyeol stared at him.
 

“But… I don’t remember that. We’ve gone over that part of it before.”
 

“You can’t remember…” The brunet trailed off, looking to the calendar on the wall. “And I wish I could forget. Seems fair to me.”
 

“You have a really warped sense of what’s fair, I hope you know that,” Chanyeol grumbled, going to his dresser to pull a shirt on.

“That’s a mean game to play, Jongdae,” Yifan stated, placing a hand on the other’s waist to pull him against himself and out of the path of the person behind them who was trying to get past them on the street. “He’s genuinely worried about you.”
 

“If he’s that worried then this whole thing will be good for him,” Jongdae said, looking down at Yifan’s hand. He didn’t push it away as he usually did, which made the blond internally smile. “He keeps acting like he’s never going to get better if he doesn’t remember what happened, and that doesn’t seem to be enough of a motivation for him to try to remember, so maybe this will be.”
 

“You sure he wants to remember?”
 

“I’m sure he thinks he wants to remember,” Jongdae stated, nudging Yifan to the side and into one of the shops, a curious look crossing the other’s face.
 

“A music shop?” Yifan asked, letting Jongdae worm out of his hold.
 

“Yeah, what about it?”
 

“Just, why are we going to a music shop? It’s not like you play anything.”
 

“Who says it’s for me?” Jongdae retorted, making his way to the wall of guitars, scrunching his nose up at Yifan when he stood behind him, and placed his hands on Jongdae’s hips. “You’re so grabby,” He grumbled before one of the workers came to greet them. After close to an hour filled with enough information to make Jongdae’s head swim about the different types of guitars and amps, and several other things that he didn’t bother to remember, Jongdae handed the wrapped box to Yifan, and started back towards the car.
 

“Why do I have to carry it?” The bond asked, trailing after Jongdae.
 

“You’re good at carrying things.” Yifan paused before a smile crossed his lips and he caught up to Jongdae.
 

“Like you,” He cooed, receiving an elbow to the side.

Chanyeol looked to his door when there was a knock on it, frowning as it became increasingly louder and almost impatient sounding. When it didn’t sound like it was going to stop any time soon he closed his book, setting it on his nightstand as he made his way to open the door. He was greeted by being smacked in the face with a box, staggering back and instinctively reaching out to push the box away. When the box didn’t try to attack him again he took another step back, reaching up to rub his nose before he looked around the box.
 

“Jongdae?” He stared at the other for a moment. “Since when do you knock?”
 

“Would you rather me have walked in and thrown it at you?” Jongdae asked and Chanyeol rolled his eyes, setting the box on his bed as Jongdae came in and shut the door behind himself.
 

“I would prefer you not causing me unwarranted bodily harm.” Chanyeol said, looking from Jongdae to the wrapped box and back. “Why did you hit me with it?”
 

“Because I got it for you.”
 

“Yeah, I don’t understand why that means you had to hit me with it.” Chanyeol replied, shaking his head. “Or why you would buy me something in the first place.
 

“Open it and find out,” Jongdae replied, sitting on the bed beside the box.
 

Chanyeol eyed him suspiciously before slowly peeling back one of the corners of the wrapping in hopes that it would give some hint as to what the box contained. With no such luck he kept pulling back the wrapping paper slowly, eventually revealing a completely white box. His gaze flickered to Jongdae’s before he lifted the box a little. Finding the edge of the cover of the box he pulled it up to open the lid. What it revealed had him staring for a long moment, and he didn’t even realize he had set down the cover lid until he was touching the smooth base of the guitar the box held. He looked up at Jongdae seeing the hint of a smile in his eyes before back down at the guitar, pulling it carefully out of the box.
 

“How did-why did-”
 

“Back when we were in Hongdae you played one that I think looked like that one. And that was the closest to happy I’ve ever seen you,” Jongdae explained, crossing his arms over his chest and leaning back against Chanyeol’s headboard. “Plus it’s been four months since your last relapse, so I thought you could use something to help you when you’re tempted to relapse again.”
 

“I could kiss you right now.”
 

“Please don’t,” Jongdae replied flatly, Chanyeol rolling his eyes. “On top of that, if you’re ever interested, I could talk to some people about getting you some gigs. One of my friends is on real good terms with the local club owners,” Jongdae continued, watching Chanyeol attach the strap to the guitar and slipping it over his head. Chanyeol nudged the empty box aside, sitting on the bed, strumming a little before he started to tune the guitar. “So if you know your way around a guitar, why don’t you have one?” Jongdae asked after watching the other for a while, looking around the room. He had spent enough time there to know the other didn’t have one though.

“I used to, back through middle and high school,” Chanyeol said as he worked on tuning. “But I just… didn’t pick it back up after my stay in the hospital. I was too occupied with catching up and making sure I graduated on time.”
 

“You had a lot to catch up on?” Jongdae asked and Chanyeol gave a halfhearted laugh.
 

“Yeah. Learning first semester things second semester, on top of second semester things is not on a list of things that I would recommend, or ever try again.” He replied, strumming once he got the strings tuned.
 

“Sounds like we both had a ty start to the end of our senior years,” Jongdae said and Chanyeol looked over at him long enough to notice the loss of focus to the brunet’s eyes.
 

“You two?” He asked, hoping to not sound like he was prodding as much as he knew he was. At the same time he was fully prepared for the other to bring up the deal Jongdae had decided on his own.
 

“Yeah, I don’t think I can count how many classes I skipped or slept through the first month back at school. The I stated getting better, then I skipped a couple of days again… then evened back out and somehow managed to bring my GPA back up to what it had been before the term started,” He explained before he snapped out of his daze and slid off of the bed. “Any word back from that apartment you applied to?” He asked and Chanyeol started playing.
 

“Just got my acceptance call yesterday,” He said, looking up to see Jongdae smiling at him.
 

“It’ll be good for you to get out of here. A new city, a new start, might be just what you need,” Jongdae said and Chanyeol laughed.
 

“I really need to work on getting a handle on my medication then, unless you plan to move with me.”
 

“Hey, you don’t know how attached I am to you, I just might go with you.” Chanyeol had to stop playing from how hard he was laughing at that point, and he watched Jongdae’s smile grow.
 

“And leave behind Yifan?” Chanyeol asked in a mock shocked tone.
 

“I’m pretty sure we both know he’s so wrapped around my finger, he’d follow me into oncoming traffic.” Jongdae replied bluntly.

“I would say you’re right about that,” Chanyeol replied, running his fingers over the stings of his guitar. “How are things with him?” He asked, his tone hesitant. “I know it’s not really my business, I was just curious,” He added quickly, biting the inside of his cheek at the silence that filed the room after.
 

“He… He’s trying,” Jongdae said slowly. “And I know he’s got nothing but good intent in the way he acts… that he’s trying to help me as much as he can- as much as I’ll let him. To be honest there are some days that I‘m amazed to see he didn’t sneak out in the middle of the night to leave me.”
 

“I think that’s what most people call love,” Chanyeol pointed out, Jongdae sticking his tongue out and scrunching up his nose in response. “Wait, did you say something about him leaving in the middle of the night?” Chanyeol asked after grinning in response to how displeased Jongdae looked at the word ‘love’. The brunet’s face relaxed.
 

“No, I said he didn’t leave in the middle of the night,” He said and the grin grew across Chanyeol’s face.
 

“So you let him stay the night at your place?” He asked, a frown taking over Jongdae’s lips.
 

“You can wipe that grin off your face and shut the up,” He stated. “Just play your damn guitar.”

 

((A/N I love chapters where it's Jongdae and Chanyeol together, I dunno why, but in both this and the other fic I have I adore them together ))