“So,” Namjoon folded his arms in front of him after forcing all of their staffs out of the room and left the seven of them together, he had a smile on his face, “what do you want to do, Jungkook-ah?”

Jungkook looked up and stared at each one of them, before shaking his head. “No, no,” he said, sighing, and leaned forward on the table, “no, this is our concert, so, what do we want to do?”

They all were hesitant for a while, because surprisingly they were never asked about what did they want to do this whole time. And, to be asked like this for the first time in their career took some time to find the answer. Yeah, they gave out their opinions about which stage was better to cut out of the concert, which dance should stand out more, and so on, but most of the contents were done by the director and his team, the seven of them only knew it when the concept was done. So, what exactly did they want to do in their own concert?

“I—I want to connect more with the fans,” Jimin said carefully.

All of them turned to him with interest and Namjoon smiled, pen was ready in his hand. “Connect more how?”

“Like—“ Jimin shifted in his seat, “like I want to get off the stage, blend in with the fans, no barrier. I want to sing with them together side by side.”

“I don’t want any solo stages,” Taehyung said when he thought Jimin was done. All eyes were on him and he shrugged carelessly. “It’s our concert, right? I want everything about us, not V, not Rap Monster, not Suga, not us as individuals. But, us as a team.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Hoseok chimed in, pointing his finger to Taehyung in agreement, and leaned forward too, ”yeah, we can play our old songs. I mean, when was the last time we sing War of Hormone, huh?”

Namjoon nodded, hand never stopped writing.

“So, you’re saying we should play all of our songs? There are so many of them,” Yoongi interjected.

“No, just the memorable ones,” Hoseok replied.

“Everything’s memorable,” Jungkook muttered and they all looked at him, “I mean, we made songs based on our own experiences, right? So, they’re all our stories. For me, they’re all memorable because of that.”

“Yeah, it’ll be too hard to pick twenty-something out of every song we ever released,” Namjoon agreed.

“Then, let’s sing everything,” Jin said.

“Can we do that?” Jimin turned to Namjoon, “Jungkook—“

“No, please,” Jungkook said, “let’s just give ideas for now. Then, we can talk about what we can and can’t, and even if there’s something that we can’t do, I’m sure we still can make it happen somehow.” Jungkook emphasized on the word ‘we’ because he wanted to put his foot down on the fact that he didn’t want to keep being the center of attention. Jungkook this and Jungkook can’t do that and everything. He wanted it to stop.

Jimin and Jungkook stared into each other’s eyes for a while and everyone waited for Jimin’s approval. They all knew that although Jin was the mother of the group, but Jimin was always worried about everything and everyone. So, when Jungkook could finally make Jimin relent as always to what he wanted, they continued the conversation.

“What else? Give me more ideas, boys!” Namjoon clapped his hands in excitement because this concert would be one of a kind.

Jungkook got into the car in hurry because he had an appointment with his doctor in forty minutes and Jin had been cranky all morning at how slow everyone moved around. The youngest never realized Hoseok had been following him until the dancer knocked on his window and Jin motioned for Jungkook to open his window for him.

“What’s up, hyung?” Jungkook asked from the passenger seat.

Hoseok leaned onto the window with his signature smug face Jin wanted to kick so badly at the moment. “Remember our conversation in the wood?”

“What conversation?” Jin demanded from behind the steering wheel and Jungkook only threw him a slight glance before focusing back to Hoseok.

“Yeah?”

“Here,” Hoseok said and handed Jungkook a piece of paper with a row of numbers written on it.

“Where did you get this?” Jungkook frowned at those numbers before looking back up to his hyung again, “You didn’t do anything stupid to get this, right?”

“Yah!” Hoseok stood up and put his hands on his hips, “I’m close with Minzy, okay?”

Jin scoffed. “Yeah, right.”

“Shut up, shoulder hyung,” Hoseok retorted back.

Jungkook laughed at the small bicker. He missed this.

“You don’t have to know how I got the number. The only thing you should know is that I didn’t endanger any of your prospect with her,” Hoseok said in a serious voice, before adding, “because I’m a good hyung, okay?”

“Okay, now I’m really confused! What prosepect, Jeon Jungkook?” Jin chimed in and Jungkook only shrugged at him in response. Jin swore he’d strangle this two in their sleep that night.

“I promised, didn’t I?” Hoseok smiled softly.

“Did you?” Jungkook laughed and looked at those numbers again.

“Whatever,” he scoffed coolly, “this is the least I can do for you, kiddo,” he said as he ruffled Jungkook’s hair through the opened window.

“You’re cool, hyung,” Jungkook smiled.

“Hey, I’m cool too, okay? Can we go now?” Jin grumbled alone, because none of Jungkook and Hoseok even gave any sign that they acknowledged him there.

“Good luck for your check up,” Hoseok smiled, “oh, and also for that,” he pointed to the paper.

“Thanks a lot, Hobi hyung,” Jungkook said and Jin waited for another three second before pushing the accelerator in annoyance.

Hoseok watched as the car left the parking lot of their apartment building and he made a rectangular shape with his two thumbs and two index fingers, closing his left eye, and clucked his tongue, keeping the picture of smiley Jeon Jungkook in his mind so when it got too hard, he could get energized from that.

“Who did Hobi talk about?” Jin asked after they left the parking lot.

Jungkook hummed softly and only spared Jin a small gaze, before looking away to the street. “Just a little crush.”

“You never told me about a little crush before!” Jungkook could hear Jin pouting although he didn’t see it, “I’m huwrt,” Jin continued cutely.

“Oh, God, you’re turning into Hobi hyung!”

Jin sighed exaggeratedly. “Oh, you, shut up.”

And, Jungkook laughed.

Jungkook felt numb spread all over his body. His left hand curled in cold and he clenched and unclenched it over and over again, while the right one laid weakly on his knee. He could not bring himself to feel anything, even when he knew Jin was trembling in fear next to him. He just stared emptily down, through the floor, and he should be registering the doctor’s words carefully. But, no, nothing made sense for him anymore. He didn’t know what to do, how to react at such news.

“Are you sure? I mean, you said he’s in the priority list!” Seokjin raised his voice, which was very rare, and stood up, ready to point a finger at Jungkook’s doctor.

Jungkook looked up. “Hyung,” he moved his right hand slowly and tugged onto Jin’s sleeve like a child, “hyung, it’s okay.”

Jin looked at his youngest and Jungkook smiled, although there were tears. Jin softened at how fragile Jungkook looked like, so he slumped back onto his chair before sighing. “I’m so sorry for my outburst, it’s just—“

“Shocking,” the doctor nodded in understanding, “I’m sure it is and I understand, Seokjin-shi.” The old man turned to Jungkook and smiled sadly, years of experience of dealing with this kind of sadness. “I’m very sorry, Jungkook-shi, I can’t help you more than this. I’m really trying my best to find a suitable donor for you, but I can’t find it until now.”

Jungkook laughed breathlessly, showing only a small amount of emotion. “So, what do you suggest we should do now?”

“I’m going to change your medicines with some new ones. Hopefully, it’ll lessen your attacks. But, we have to prepare for you to put yourself into the hospital for more intense care.”

“What about the concert we talked about?”

“I honestly do not recommend you to do it. You need a lot of rest,” the doctor shook his head, “however, it’s your own decision. I can’t get involved with whatever you want to do with your life. Beside, like I said before, it’ll probably do you the magic,” he turned to Jin and smiled apologetically.

The journey back to the dorm was quiet. Jin wanted to talk to Jungkook about their conversation with the doctor, to ask again if he really was sure about doing this concert. But, Jungkook looked beyond upset though he tried to keep it inside.

Jin parked the car once they reached their apartment complex and turned to Jungkook when the youngest didn’t make any move. “You okay?”

“Yeah,” Jungkook answered automatically, “sorry, it’s just so hard to digest the news that nothing can help you from dying.” Jungkook had let it slip, had let his gate down as the words flew carelessly out of his mouth, and he regretted it when he saw Jin tensed up. “Hyung, I didn’t mean that, I’m so sorry.”

“No,” Jin smiled, “it’s your life, it’s okay to be sad.”

“But, it’s not fair for you guys too.”

“Oh, for God’s sake, Jeon Jungkook! Stop making us as your excuse!” Jin snapped and Jungkook was too stunned to do anything, “Yeah, it’s our career, our life too, but for once stop ignoring your own feelings. We all feel bad whenever you act tough and think only about us. It’s your life that’ll get taken away from you, from us! Don’t you get it? Now, it’s more than a career, more than money, it’s a lot more than Bangtan Boys, it’s about our family. I—“ Jin stopped when he saw Jungkook let out a tear and slowly broke down in front of him. It was rare to have his outburst like that, but it was rarer to see Jeon Jungkook cried. “Jungkook-ah,” he reached out and pulled the younger’s neck softly to have him in his arms. But when Jin almost had Jungkook, the maknae suddenly pushed him away.

“I—I need some time alone,” he turned around and opened the locked door manually before running off without even closing the door and Jin lost all of his energy to even move.

And, Jungkook ran and ran until his feet hurt, until his breathing became heavy and he knew he needed to stop or he’d pass out. Everything was playing in his head, like an old movie and Jungkook wanted it to stop, because the more he remembered it, the more it hurt him. And, he realized, that it was the life, the people, the smiles and tears, he was going to leave behind, and it suddenly scared him.

He never thought where his feet took him to until he was panting and trying to catch his breath. There was a line of river right next to him and a bench by it. Jungkok didn’t even realize how it was already dark and the night sky was full of stars which became a lot brighter in an open space like that. So, he sat down and breathed and actually looked at the things around him, because maybe in a few months, he wouldn’t be able to really see and feel what was out there.

Many things went through his mind. It was like he was thinking hard, but it was like his head was also empty. He felt warm on his cheeks and he wiped the tears roughly. He hated being weak, but it was the only thing he could be for the last couple of months. He was always too sensitive for his liking, and everyone was always too careful around him because he broke easily and he ran away most of the times. He had finally found his own balance in everything that he was doing and suddenly this illness came out of nowhere, stopping him from being happy and—

“Oh! Isn’t that Jungkook from BTS?!” he heard a shriek from his left and Jungkook tried to gather his composure back before thinking what to do.

“What’s he doing here?”

“Isn’t he like sick or something?”

“No. The band is disbanding. He’s going solo.”

Going solo? What are these girls even talking about?!

“Oppa? Jungkook oppa?” one of the girls that he wasn’t even sure if she was a fan or just some girl who followed the news approached him and Jungkook was caught off guard. “What are you doing here?”

Jungkook looked at her and didn’t know what to do. It wasn’t really the first time someone recognized him on the street while he was strolling around alone. But, someone recognizing him in this mess—he was sure they knew he was crying and all alone—was something new for Jungkook because he never let his guard down outside their circle of group.

The other girls thought it was a good idea for them to also approach him and Jungkook was beyond scared when one of them screamed, “Oh my! It’s really Jungkook oppa!”, and suddenly many people turned around to them. He didn’t even realize that they were actually so many people in that place.

Jungkook stood up and tried a smile. He honestly wasn’t in the mood to deal a bunch of needy fans, not when his hands were shaking and his chest was constricting in pain he didn’t know from another attack or just from panic that was starting to spread around him. But, he was a public figure and nobody care about his current mood or situation, he couldn’t ruin everything even more now.

“What are you doing, oppa? You’ve been gone for too long,” another new girl asked and Jungkook felt cornered as some people came from the other side.

“Oppa, are you guys really breaking up?” another girl that he couldn’t locate her whereabouts sounded upset.

“Are you really going solo? Are you leaving the group?”

“Oppa, why?!”

“Hey, leave him alone! Can’t you see he doesn’t want to deal with us right now?”

Jungkook shook his head. He wanted to shut those mouths up. He wanted to scream that wasn’t even close to true. But, he was scared. He was scared seeing so many people around him and they were being aggressive. He was scared and he wanted his hyungs. He couldn’t breath and it hurt. It hurt so much that it made him fall to his knees. And, the voices were muffled with something as he finally laid on his side, wheezing, face scrunched up in pain.

Someone, help. Please help.

He was sure that in the middle of his cloudy mind, he could hear Taehyung’s voice calling his name from far away.

Taehyung ran out of the practice room once he received an emergency message from Jin; There’s no donor yet. Jungkook ran. Need help in finding him. I’m so sorry. He was sure that the other members had the exact same reaction after they all received that message, because after that Hoseok confirmed that Jungkook hadn’t answered any of his calls, and Jimin was worried sick he couldn’t stop expressing it in their chat room, Namjoon tried to calm everyone down, and Yoongi didn’t say a single thing but he knew that the chats were read by the other five.

Taehyung remembered feeling this scared once, or twice—or several times. And, as time passed by, Jungkook became weaker and Taehyung became more scared when the younger reached his breaking point like this.

“Let’s go to the river once this over, hyung?” Jungkook let out his cheeky smile.

Taehyung grinned. “Yeah, let’s go with the hyungs, shall we?”

“We should go at night, so we get to see the stars.”

“Why do you like the stars so much?”

“Just because,” he said and laughed softly.

Taehyung stopped in his track before opening their chat room and typing I’ll go to the river. He started running again, bumping against some people. Not long after, his phone buzzed again and he looked at it while running. Hoseok sent an image he got from the Twitter, saying that some fans saw Jungkook by the river, followed by Hoseok urgent hurry tae and Namjoon typed I’ll go too but I got stuck in traffic with manager hyung.

Taehyung stared ahead. He still had five blocks away from the river but he was determined to reach there, even if it meant he had to break both of his legs. He just needed to get to Jungkook as soon as possible.

And, he swore he was going to throw up seeing so many people there. Some of them even knew him and tried to get to him, but he dodged and dodged and he saw, near the river, a group of girls were crowding something, or rather someone, and Taehyung’s stomach twisted in pain. It could be Jungkook.

He tried to get his way through the crowd and some of them stared in fear at him. They didn’t react the way they usually did when they saw someone famous. And, Taehyung’s gut feeling told him something bad was happening, to Jungkook. So, when he saw a part of Jungkook’s favorite boots, he pushed even harder and started calling his name.

“Jungkook!”

Everybody there looked at him and they started to get out of his way. Taehyung would thank them if he wasn’t too worried. But, Taehyung would also blame them if something really happened to Jungkook there.

Taehyung’s heart was crushed in pieces seeing Jungkook wheezing and crying on the ground. He pushed the last girl who blocked him from where Jungkook was aside and dropped down on his knees. He hovered over Jungkook in panic and looked up. The girls were backing away, some of them had their phones out, recording the whole thing, and Taehyung wanted to cry so badly—he already did—if it wasn’t for the thought that Jungkook needed him there.

“I—I’ll call for an ambulance,” one of the girls said and Taehyung nodded gratefully at her. Shock was still written all over her face but she tried so hard to gather her courage for someone, for a person who was struggling to breath down there.

Taehyung cupped Jungkook’s cheeks, trying to get to him through his clouded eyes. He knew the maknae probably was too down under and he couldn’t resist his tears. What if he lost Jungkook there? What if Jungkook was beyond under to receive any help? What would he do? So, Taehyung sobbed as he pressed their foreheads together, wishing for Jungkook to be okay. Jungkook was probably so scared being cornered like that. He was probably upset and none of the people around him could soothe him. Taehyung should’ve been there.

“Get away!” he heard somebody roared from behind him and Taehyung was pulled away from Jungkook, while some paramedics were checking on Jungkook.

He was struggling and trying to break free so he could get to Jungkook. He wasn’t there when Jungkook got scared. He didn’t want to make the same mistake again, but he heard Namjoon’s voice right next to his ear and the leader’s warm breath on the side of his neck brought him back.

“Tae, it’s okay,” Namjoon hugged him from behind, “everything will be alright. It’s okay. I promise, it’ll be okay.”

Taehyung stopped struggling when he knew he was in Namjoon’s arms, but he was still sobbing and calling Jungkook’s name. He cursed at how cruel this world could be. Jungkook was a boy.

 Jungkook opened his eyes to blinding lights of the hospital. He knew right away because there was an oxygen mask on his mouth and his chest hurt so much. He let out a choked voice and Yoongi showed up above him.

“You need anything, kiddo?” the rapper asked in worries.

Jungkook blinked as he rubbed his chest slowly. Yoongi got the message and put the emergency button immediately. Two nurses came and checked on Jungkook’s vital as Yoongi stepped back to give them more room.

“I think his chest feels uncomfortable,” Yoongi informed them.

Jungkook turned to him and the older smiled sadly at him, but tried to reassure him that everything is going to be fine. His eyes fell on the tired Taehyung who was sleeping on the couch. He remembered hearing Taehyung’s voice calling out his name before he out.

Jungkook felt sorry for the guy as he blinked some sleepiness away, and succumbed back into the darkness.

The next time Jungkook woke up, the mask was replaced with oxygen tube and Jimin was playing a video game right next to him while the TV was on. Jungkook moved his hand slowly and Jimin jerked up.

“Hey, you’re up! You want something?” Jimin asked excitedly because the last time Jungkook opened his eyes, there was only Yoongi and it was more than 24 hours ago.

Jungkook shook his head. “Where are the others?” his voice was hoarse from the lack of use.

“They’ll be here soon,” Jimin smiled, “Jin hyung, Hoseok hyung, and Taehyung are getting something to eat downstairs. Namjoon hyung and Yoongi hyung are taking care some stuffs in the office. They should be heading back now though,” he said, checking the clock on the wall. Jungkook only hummed in response. “You scared us so much, Jungkook-ie, don’t do that again, okay?”

“Sorry, hyung,” Jungkook said weakly, voice trembling and sounding like a scared little kid, “it was too much. Still is.”

“I know, baby, I know,” Jimin Jungkook’s hair, “but, we’ll get through this together, okay?” Jungkook looked at Jimin and he looked so lost, so vulnerable, it was like he wanted to ask for a reassurance of what the older said, and Jimin didn’t have to be asked. “I promise.”

“When I was surrounded  by those girls,” Jungkook started, “some of them asked me if we really are breaking up, or if I’m going solo and leaving you guys—“

“Don’t listen to them, Jungkook-ah,”

Jungkook shook his head, a tear slipped out of the corner of his eye. “No, no, it makes me want to do it so much, hyung.”

“Do what?”

“The concert,” Jungkook said firmly, “We’re still doing the concert, right, hyung?”

Jimin chuckled weakly. “If that’s what you want, then, yeah, let’s do it. Together.”

Oh my God, I'm really bad at writing a chaotic situation. SORRY!!!

Till the next chapter, people :)