“Hey.”

“Today is the day, huh?”

“Yeah. It’s not going to be the same without you.”

“Then show them something else, something more you.”

“Watch us well from up there?”

“Always.”

“Hey.”

“Hm?”

“We miss you.”

“I miss you too.”

The lights were too bright, Namjoon had to put his hand up to adapt with them when they were pushed up onto the stage—Jin, Taehyung, and him on the left wing, while Hoseok, Jimin, and Yoongi on the other, as they let the center stage empty and the other lights were off except the ones which illuminated them—and that stage seemed so fragile and might break if they jump too hard or run too fast, just like their own battles against themselves. He couldn’t see their faces, not with those blinding lights from behind them. He couldn’t watch their expectations, their sad expressions that reflected their own sadness as a group who lost a brother, their tears which probably would trigger their own. But, he looked down and saw Jin’s hand holding the microphone too tight and emotion under control Namjoon was scared they all would blow up like a time bomb, and the melody was starting to play inside the arena, and suddenly memories rushed into his mind, playing like an old family video. He remembered Jungkook’s laugh, and Taehyung’s playfulness. He remembered Yoongi’s thinking face when he was too into something, or Jin’s motherly frown when he was worried. He remembered Hoseok’s tears which was surprisingly often for someone as bright as him and Jimin’s smile when he tried to be strong.

He was a leader and there were so many stories he had witnessed, so many things he wanted to tell, so many time he wanted to break. But, he was a leader, and a leader did not break because he had people who looked up to him, who believed in him. Even if it wasn’t for thousands of fans, at least, it was for s.

So, Namjoon smiled and played a tough guy, although he broke inside and nothing really had healed him yet, but he still had five more reasons for him to wake up in the morning and five more pairs of hands ready to pull him up onto the stage, realizing what they called their dream which was also his dream once upon a time.

Ayo SUGA

Ayo SUGA
3년 전 여기 첨 왔던 때 기억해?

I remember how we came here three years ago
왠지 형이랑 나랑 막 치고박고 했던 때

When you and I used to fight all the time
벽지도 화장실도 베란다도 다 파란 집

The wallpaper, bathroom and veranda were all blue
그 때 난 여기가 막 되게 넓은 집인 줄 알았지

Back then I thought this was a big place
But 내 야망이 너무 커졌어

But my ambition grew too big
그리 넓어 보이던 새 집도 이제는 너무 좁아졌어

That big house became too small now
17평 아홉 연습생 코찔찔이 시절

When the nine trainees shared a 17-pyung house
엊그제 같은데 그래 우리도 꽤 많이 컸어

Seems like it was just yesterday, we grew up a lot
좋은 건 언제나 다 남들의 몫이었고

Good things were always other people’s things
불투명한 미래 걱정에 항상 목 쉬었고

We were always hoarse from an uncertain future and worries
연말 시상식 선배 가수들 보며 목 메였고

Seeing all the senior artists at the end of the year awards
했던 꾸질한 기억 잊진 말고 딱 넣어두자고

Let’s not forget those things but put them away
우리의 냄새가 나 여기선

This place smells like us
이 향기 잊지 말자 우리가 어디 있건

Let’s not forget this scent, wherever we are
울기도 웃기도 많이 했지만 모두 꽤나 아름다웠어

We cried a lot and laughed a lot but it was so beautiful
논현동 3층, 고마웠어

Nonhyungdong, 3rd floor, thank you

Jungkook was his first friend in that small music room, although the other hyungs knew him before Jungkook came. Jungkook was the first person he could play around with, although it took him months to finally open up to Taehyung. Jungkook was the first person who never really pushed him away, although the youngest was shy sometimes that he chose to ignore him. Jungkook was his first best friend who died and Taehyung did not cry at his funeral.

They told him that he was insane because he only cried months after he died. They told each other things that he could hear with his own two ears; doesn’t he feel anything at all, his best friend died!

For God’s sake, he knew who died! He knew Jeon-ing­-Jungkook died! Yes, he would never be able to see that stupid face again. Yes, he did not expect it to hurt so very much to miss him. But, Jungkook would not be sick anymore, he was free. And, for Taehyung, it hurt more to see Jungkook panting and crying in pain, than knowing Jungkook was in a safe place where nothing could hurt him anymore. Why couldn’t people understand that?

And, for that, Taehyung smiled for the memories of Jeon Jungkook and for their happiness. Taehyung just wanted to move on, just like Jungkook. Taehyung wanted to move to a greater place, just like where Jungkook was after them. So, he sighed, preparing himself, as Namjoon’s rap came to an end and it was his time to begin everything fresh and new again.

이사 가자 

Let’s move

정들었던 이곳과는 안녕

Goodbye to this place, that we grew attached to

이사 가자

Let’s move

이제는 더 높은 곳으로

Now to a higher place

텅 빈 방에서 마지막 짐을 들고 나가려다가

While taking the last box out of the empty room
잠시 돌아본다

I looked back for a moment
울고 웃던 시간들아

Times we cried and laughed
이젠 안녕

Goodbye now

                  “Are you going to cry when I’m gone?” Hoseok remembered he asked and, that time, he could not answer that question because how could a person ask his friends to not cry when he died.

                  Hoseok would scoff for a moment, looking away from Jungkook’s dreamy smile. And, when he looked back to him, the dancer would just reply playfully, and Jungkook would not whine, he would not protest, but his smile was different; sad, or maybe desperate.

                  “I love this song, you know. It’s about us.”

“Born Singer is about us too.”

“Yeah. But it’s about us moving on, from the old us to us right now.”

“Do you love being this us right now?”

Jungkook crinkled his nose and giggled. “Yeah.”

But on that stage at the moment, Hoseok dared himself one thing that he would always ignore, one thing he was barely able to stop himself to; to not cry over their lost.

Jungkook wasn’t lost, he just went away a bit sooner, and Hoseok believed that one day they all would meet again, and Jungkook would tell them stories about the life he lived on after this world and they would also tell him the stories he missed when he was gone, pretending like he left for some business trip. So, he picked his mic up and closed his eyes as Taehyung’s stare lingered around him from across the stage.

3년의 삶 참 짧고도 길었지

Three years felt so short but so long
많은 일들이 있고 많은 추억의 기억이

A lot of things happened, there were many memories
막 떠오르곤 해, 떠날 때가 되니까

I remember now that we’re about to leave
사용의 흔적들 like 통장내역 크레딧카드

Traces of being used like bank accounts and credit cards
좁은 평수만큼 더 뭉친 점도 있었고

As much as the place was small, we were bound together tighter
Fight right here 치고 받기도 몇번

Fight right here, hitting each other sometimes
그래서인지 고운 정 미운 정 쌓이고 쌓였어

Maybe that’s why but we have good feelings and bad feelings of love too
먼지 마냥, 이젠 치워지겠지

Even the dust will be cleared now
처음보단 짐도 늘고, 처음보단 내 스스로 가진 것도 늘었어

There’s more stuff than the beginning, I have more than when I started too
이젠 자부심을 딱 들고 더 큰 세상 큰 꿈을 나 바라보겠어

Now let’s take our pride and go toward a bigger world with a bigger dream
새 출발, 새 시작

A new start, a new beginning
어떤 식으로 또 꾸밀 지 기대되는 시간

Excited to see how it will become
짐 날라, 위치 잡아, 먼지 닦아

Move the boxes, hold your place, wipe the dust
끝나고서는 수고의 짜장면 하나 that’s right

After you’re done, let’s get a bowl of black bean noodles, that’s right

People used to say that Jin was the most ordinary one in the group, that his voice wasn’t so special nor his face, that they all could go on just fine without him. And, as much as he wanted to beat all of his dongsaengs and showed the whole word that he had something to be proud of, he couldn’t, not because he wasn’t able to, but because they all respected him and loved him like he was the most perfect person in the world.

Jungkook was a whole package. The boy had everything, from his voice, the way he danced, his look, he was good at sports, everything. But, no, Jin couldn’t hate him. In fact, he doted him, he loved him, he took care of him, because Jungkook never said what was in his mind, and he thought his talents were more like a burden; he had to be the golden maknae, not because he wanted to. It was hard watching the youngest beating himself up for better performance and not paying enough attention to his own self.

And, when Jungkook broke down, only relying on the donor, it was Jin’s turn to beat himself up because he should had seen it coming, he should be more aware, he should know.

“It’s not your fault, you know, hyung. I’m okay and this is the happiest I could ever be in my whole entire life, with or without this illness. So, stop blaming yourself, okay?”

Jin missed that smile.

So, he picked up his mic and sang, because he knew Jungkook was in a better place and, though it hurt, his maknae was indeed in a better place. That was okay.

이사 가자 

Let’s move

정들었던 이곳과는 안녕

Goodbye to this place, that we grew attached to

이사 가자

Let’s move

이제는 더 높은 곳으로

Now to a higher place

텅 빈 방에서 마지막 짐을 들고 나가려다가

While taking the last box out of the empty room
잠시 돌아본다

I looked back for a moment
울고 웃던 시간들아

Times we cried and laughed
이젠 안녕

Goodbye now

Yoongi remembered after their trip to Busan.

“Why are you smoking, hyung?”

“Why not?”

Jungkook smiled. “My life is counted by every second of it. It’s funny how the doctors are able to predict how long I can survive. And, it’s funnier how I see the world through different angle because of it. While you—“ he stared at Yoongi without annoyance or judgement, just innocence in his eyes, but Yoongi felt at the way Jungkook looked at him, like he pitied Yoongi and he wanted the older to change, to see what he saw through his eyes “you could see it differently, you know. Life is not always sad.”

“Teach me how,” Yoongi demanded softly, “you could have your whole life ahead of you—“

“Don’t use me as your excuse. It’s not fair.”

“Indeed it isn’t.”

“I’m dying as much as you are, and you’re as healthy as I can ever be. You told me that, remember?”

They all started walking to the center stage to prepare for their good-bye when he started to rap. He was left behind but that was okay. He wanted to deliver his lyrics so people would understand him.

The childish me used to measure the size of the world and Jeon Jungkook taught me that the world was too big, that I have no time to measure each span of it. So, rather than measuring it, I should just explore it and find how many surprises it has for me.

난생 처음 엄마의 뱃속에서

Ever since I was born
나의 첫 이사 날을 세곤 했어

I counted the days for my first move
희미한 기억 나의 이사의 대가는

I remember, why I had to move
엄마 심장의 기계와 광활한 흉터였어

The machine in my mom’s heart and the big scar
2010년 그 해 겨울 대구에서

In winter of 2010 at Daegu
철없던 내가 이 세상의 크기를 재곤 했어

The childish me used to measure the size of the world
상업적이란 집으로 이사간 대가는

The reason why we moved into a business
욕 바가지 돈따라기 라며 날 향한 손가락질

Was because of all the bad things people said, saying we follow money
이처럼 이사는 내게 참 많은 걸 남겼지

So moving left many things with me
그게 좋던 싫던 내 삶 속에서 많은 걸 바꿨지

Whether I liked it or not, it changed a lot in my life
내 삶은 월세 나도 매달려 알어?

My life was about paying rent, I know
내 자존심은 보증금 다 건 채 하루를 살어 uh?

I lived with my pride put into the down payment
그래서 다시 이사 가려고 해

So I’m gonna move again
아이돌에서 한 단계 위로 꿈이 잡히려 해

I’m gonna have a dream, a level higher than being an idol
이번 이사의 손 없는 날은 언제일까

When will I stop having to move again?
빠른 시일이면 좋겠다

I hope it comes quickly

Jimin missed him just like how he missed home. And, it was really hard to act like he was okay for the sake of everyone, but he knew he was not the only one who got hurt. He was ashamed to cry, though he couldn’t hide it anymore but when it came to remembering the youngest, he could not help it. He loved Jungkook more than a friend. He loved Jungkook who was like a brother to him, whom he wanted to take care of for the rest of his life. Damn Jungkook for leaving earlier.

He wasn’t ready when Yoongi almost finished his part. Instead, he looked down to his feet, at least, he tried to gather the last courage he had to sing this song. And, he never realized when his part came and it was only filled with emptiness along with the melody. He never realized that he was shaking and sobbing, until Taehyung gathered him in his arms with low chuckles.

“Why are you crying, Jimin-ah? We promised we wouldn’t cry, would we?” Taehyung said softly.

“I’m sorry,” Jimin whispered, “I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.”

And, Jimin never realized when Hoseok slowly joined their hug with teary smile—he really tried his best not to cry. Also not when Yoongi, Namjoon, and Jin joined their group hug, pressing him in the middle with hope that the pieces in Jimin’s heart—and each one of theirs—could be repaired again, glued into one whole piece together, and they’d be okay. There was a part of them that wanted to forget the shy boy who died on the beach, but there was also a big part of them that wanted to keep the boy who was glowing with passion and whose voice was like a serenade in the back of their minds, so when it got hard, they could remember him and thank him.

During that moment, they were just six people, bundling themselves up in the middle of the stage, trying to be strong for each other.

이사 가자 

Let’s move

정들었던 이곳과는 안녕

Goodbye to this place, that we grew attached to

이사 가자

Let’s move

이제는 더 높은 곳으로

Now to a higher place

텅 빈 방에서 마지막 짐을 들고 나가려다가

While taking the last box out of the empty room
잠시 돌아본다

I looked back for a moment
울고 웃던 시간들아

Times we cried and laughed
이젠 안녕

Goodbye now

It was supposed to be Jungkook’s turn to sing after Jimin’s part. But, he was not there with them. The melody kept playing as the big screen behind them flickered and the person they missed so much showed up, big smile on his face, and waves were breaking behind him.

Taehyung was the first one who looked up to the screen and grinned. “Hey, look, it’s Jungkookie,” and the other five followed his gaze.

The melody kept playing in the background with the same volume, like it didn’t plan to give Jungkook a chance to speak. Then, Jimin showed up next to him on the screen, and one by one each member showed up too, before the camera tilted around to show Jin who was recording the whole time, and they all realized that it was from the camcorder they were assigned to play around with when they were shooting for Prologue during HwaYangYeonHwa era years back then. They thought it was their turning point as a group, when they really thought about their future and their happiness as a group, and rather than their personal ambition, they cared more about what the team wanted. Taehyung and Jungkook started composing during that time, and Namjoon and Yoongi were so proud of the two younger ones. It was the time when Jimin cared less about his own self-image, that he didn’t have to do what he had to if it didn’t make him happy. Hoseok was still him, the sunshine of the group, only that time he had promised to work harder as the obstacles were stacking up in front of them, and although it was hard, they all needed a bit of sunshine everyday. And, Jin had improved in so many levels during that time so he wasn’t just some pretty face they used to call him. And, instead of hating the idol image, they all worked hard in uniting their minds and showed the world that this was what they wanted, as a group.

The lyrics of Jungkook’s part showed up on the screen as the recorded video kept playing, showing them laughter and happy times. And, the fans sang for them. Because, they knew Jungkook would hate it if they let his part empty like that.

이사 가자 

Let’s move

정들었던 이곳과는 안녕

Goodbye to this place, that we grew attached to

이사 가자

Let’s move

이제는 더 높은 곳으로

Now to a higher place

텅 빈 방에서 마지막 짐을 들고 나가려다가

While taking the last box out of the empty room
잠시 돌아본다

I looked back for a moment
울고 웃던 시간들아

Times we cried and laughed
이젠 안녕

Goodbye now

Everyone’s afraid of changes

Staying, moving on, staying, moving on

We’re repeating the same things, again and again

I guess that’s life, my friends

Old or new, new or old

That ain’t important

What’s important is that we still live and live in the same place

So, let’s move on

They had a few revised to make on their songs because the lost of Jeon Jungkook made so many empty spaces among their lyrics. But, they didn’t want to erase him entirely from their songs because he was a part of them too, he made this group together with the six of them. And, to answer people’s questions, yes, they were keeping the group together, even there were just the six of them, even it was really hard.

How?

They still didn’t know yet, but—

“Yoongi hyung doesn’t want to wake up!” Hoseok whined as he went out of the older rapper’s room.

Jin sighed. How could his position as the mother of the group never changed for over ten years? And, just-how-in-the-world-these-kids-never-changed-even-one-bit-through-all-these-painful-years?! “I’m leaving this group,” he muttered to himself, “yes, I’m going to meet PD-nim today and tell him to go this group up because I’m leaving this group today and I—”

“Jin hyung?” Jimin called timidly, “are you okay?”

Jin turned around sharply to the two youngest who were surprisingly the first ones to be ready amongst Jin’s five other peasant members. “I’m giving you both the honour this morning. The three of them need to be here in fifteen minutes. Can I trust you guys?”

Both Jimin and Taehyung looked into each other’s eyes before standing up from the table and gave salutes. “Yes, sir!” they said in unison and scattered out of the kitchen in less than two seconds.

Thirteen minutes and twenty-seven seconds later, they all sat to have breakfast together, with Namjoon still had toothpaste in his forehead—Jin didn’t want to know what Jimin and Taehyung did until it got there—and Yoongi’s hair pointed to every direction on his head and Hoseok was shaking—this too, Jin didn’t want to know.

“You didn’t have to ask them to wake us up, you know!” Yoongi yelled.

“Oh, yea, I had to,” Jin gave extra pancakes to Jimin’s and Taehyung’s plates and they beamed like little kids, “we have t—,” he said as he dropped one of Namjoon’s pancakes.

“Jin hyung!!” Taehyung scolded.

“Sorry, Tae,” he said and gave Namjoon his other pancakes without giving a substitution for the one he dropped, “As I was saying, we have to get our make up done and learn the script for our interview in two hours. So, I need you guys to be in the car in fifteen minutes. No complaining. Understood?”

Namjoon put his hand up in protest because he had less pancakes than the others and it was Jin who dropped it, damn it he was going to fight for his own rights! “Hey! Why don’t I get—“

“I said no complaining, Kim Namjoon!” Jin yelled and, yes, Namjoon shut up right away.

The three of them eat in silence, probably because Hoseok was still in shock with some unknown reasons, and Yoongi was not really a morning person especially when Jimin and Taehyung were the ones who woke him up, and Namjoon was busy making phone calls to their real manager, while Jimin and Taehyung were chatting non-stop, and Jin only wanted to respond to them.

“Hey, hyungs,” Taehyung perked up, boxy smile on his face, “we’re still going to see Kookie this afternoon right? I miss him.”

They all turned to Namjoon who had to make deals here and there every week for them to be able to give Jungkook an hour or two visit in the middle of their busy schedule.

Namjoon smiled his dimple smile and nodded. “Of course, we are, Tae, I promised, didn’t I?”

“Can we buy flower first. We forgot last week, remember?” Jimin asked.

“What do you wanna buy today, Chim?” Jin said like he was talking to a kid.

Jimin shrugged. “Lilies are nice, right, Tae?”

Taehyung nodded excitedly. “Yeah, let’s buy lilies for today.”

—but they’d figure it all out alright.

I can't believe I've finally finished this story :'''' I want to thank every single one of you for the supports, it mean so much to me. For this last chapter, I was actually torn up from choosing Born Singer or Move for their song, and I really love Move, so........ :D

Some of you asked me to make an alternate ending. Honestly I love angst, like my whole life's screaming angst every single day, and this ending is what I imagined the first time I got the idea for this fic. I'm not sure if I write the alternate ending, it'll be suitable and even worse than this one. BUT!! I promise I'll try to write it though, just don't know when I'll post it, sorryyyyyy :( Right now, I'm actually already writing two chapters for another fic. I will post it here in AFF soon! (I already posted in my AO3 account)

Anddd, one of you asked me to have Q&A session and I thought like why not! I don't know if many of you are interested in this, so let me know by leaving a comment with your questions, okay? If there are many of you who have questions, I'll have the session in the next chapter.

In the meantime I'll just do some editing so don't be surprised if the notification is on, yeah?

THANK YOU FOR STAYING WITH ME THROUGH THESE 12 CHAPTERS <3