Yoongi never really knew how it felt like to be scared of losing someone he loved so dearly. People did pass away in his life and it was not like he didn’t appreciate those people much that he let them go easily, but Jungkook was okay just more than half a year ago. He was as healthy as anyone in the group, as any 24-year-old was supposed to be. And, with each passing second, Yoongi felt like this situation wasn’t right for the youngest that he had grown too attached to.

“Hyung, come on,” Namjoon turned around and Yoongi just stared at him in shock. Namjoon reaching up to him. “Come on, we have to go now.”

Yoongi nodded and walked to Namjoon’s side as Namjoon put his hand on Yoongi’s back, hoping it would comfort Yoongi from ugly thoughts. “Where are the others?” Yoongi whispered.

“Jin hyung’s taking the earliest flight from Jeju. Hoseok’s shooting in Gangnam but manager hyung is picking him up now. Taehyung and Jimin are there with Jungkook. They’re freaking out. We need to hurry to calm them down because we’re the closer one to the hospital,” Namjoon explained as they came out of the Big Hit’s building.

Yoongi nodded weakly again and got into Namjoon’s car without questions.

“Fans are going to hear about this,” he mumbled when they were on their way.

Namjoon glanced toward the older before looking back to the road. “Yeah,” was the only thing Namjoon managed to say for a while because he didn’t know what to do himself. “Yeah, we have to be prepared,” he spoke again when they were making their way toward the hospital’s parking lot.

Yoongi put his glasses on and Namjoon let out the blankest espression he could pull.

“All hell breaks loose,” Yoongi said as the both of them came out and they were bombarded with questions for three full minutes as they made their way from their car to the entrance of the hospital building.

“All hell breaks loose,” Namjoon agreed once the reporters were held back behind the glass door and they were walking inside the building.

“So, what are we going to do now?” Jungkook asked from under the white blanket, “I can’t do anything without passing out or—“

The seven of them were gathered around in Jungkook’s room on one of the private wings  where he was monitored closely and Jungkook personally asked for everyone to let them be when he was stable enough twelve hours after the breakdown in the dance studio. Jin and Jimin were sitting on the two chairs next to Jungkooks’s bed. Hoseok was leaning his side against the window, looking down toward the street the entire time. Yoongi was next to Hoseok, but he fully faced Jungkook like he wasn’t scared at all. Taehyung sat on the couch, hugging his knees to his chest like a little kid. Namjoon was leaning on the wall right next to the door and the only one that looked more relaxed beside Jungkook.

“Let’s just focus on your health for now,” Yoongi suggested.

“For how long?” Jungkook retorted carefully.

Yoongi shrugged. “However long. Until you’re ready and healthy enough.”

Jungkook snorted and Jimin looked up in surprised. “Look at me, hyung,” he motioned his body from up to down, “just ing look at me—“

“Jungkook,” Jin warned the youngest.

“Where the hell is that donor that they’ve been talking about?”

“They’re finding it,” Yoongi said simply.

“I need a heart and a pair of lungs, hyung,” Jungkook looked at Yoongi with anger, “I need a dead person in order to give me life.”

“Jungkook,” this time it was Jimin who warned him and he stared with sad eyes.

Jungkook turned around to Jimin and felt guilty right away. He wasn’t the only one who was hurting. The six of them were hurting too. It was their group too, their career, their life. “I’m sorry,” he apologized softly and closed his eyes.

“It’s okay,” Namjoon spoke up for the first time. “The company’s giving us two weeks of break, all seven of us. We can just go back to our hometowns for a while, thinking about our own future. We can do anything. And, we can plan about our group activity together later when all of us are thinking straight.”

“I’ve been thinking, hyung,” Jungkook stared at the leader and Namjoon hated where that was going. He just knew where that conversation was going.

“No,” Namjoon said without a doubt, “you are not leaving the team! We’re dealing this together. No matter how bad it is, we’re together in this and no one’s leaving this team.”

“I know,” Jungkook said, “I know that and I’m not leaving you guys. It’s just—“ he sighed, his heartbeat picked up and Jin was more than afraid, “you guys have to be prepared.”

“, stop,” Taehyung said as he stood up and paced back and forth, “I don’t wanna talk about this.”

“No, we have to talk about this eventually,”

“Okay, eventually, but not now. I’m not ready now.”

“It’s my life. I’m not ready ever, hyung! But when are we going to talk about this? When I’m already on my last days? Don’t you want to hear my last wish?”

Taehyung stopped and his face pictured pain, hurt, betrayal, of what Jungkook said. But, he stayed quiet, everyone did, and tried to listen.

“Just listen,” Jungkook breathed, “I want to tell the fans myself. I want them to hear it from my own mouth, not from the internet, not from you guys, not from anyone or anything. If I make it or not, I still want them to know. I want them to know that we’re not breaking up because we’re too focused with our individual activities. I want them to know that no one’s leaving each other for their own career, that we’re not that selfish, that if the seven of us are so healthy; we’ll make it for the next hundred years.”

Hoseok chuckled and turned around. He looked at Jungkook for a while before throwing a small meaningful smile, and Jungkook smiled back softly. Hoseok just wanted to make Jungkook happy. And, if those kind of last days that Jungkook wanted, than that was what Hoseok going to give.

“Let’s see them together, then, “ Hoseok said positively.

Jungkook nodded. “I know you’d understand.”

“Hopeless people,” Taehyung muttered bitterly as he walked out of the room and slammed the door shut. Namjoon stayed so still as the second youngest went pass him with angered eyes and breathing heavily, holding back the tears.

Yoongi pushed himself from the wall and walked slowly towards the door, eyes stared blankly.

“Where are you going?” Jin asked with worries because Yoongi was someone who wouldn’t think twice to kick someone’s .

“Kicking some sense to his ing empty head. He can’t talk to Jungkook like that,” Yoongi answered without glancing to the eldest.

And, yells were heard right from the hallway that Jungkook felt sorry to the other patients next to his room.

“Who taught you to speak like that, you piece of ?!”

“I hate him—don’t ing touch me right now, hyung!”

Jimin shut his eyes tightly as he heard a loud slap resounding across the hall and Namjoon and Jin were out of the door in a second. Hoseok made his way to Jungkook’s bed as the youngest stared at the door with teary eyes.

“What the hell, hyung!”

“This brat needs to be taught a ing lesson!”

“, Yoongi, you’re hurting Taehyung!!!”

“Excuse me, sir, I’m going to have to call the security if you don’t stop now!! You’re disturbing the other patients—“

“Stay away from—“

Jungkook looked up and watched Hoseok smiled brightly at him as he arranged a pair of earphone on his ears. “Don’t listen to them, okay?’ Hoseok said lightly, but his eyes told a different story with the way the tears ran down his face. “Listen to this instead,” he said while pressing on the touch screen of his iPod and a soft melody came out slowly, “this will be in our next album. Namjoon and Yoongi hyung were working hard on this, you know. Jimin and Taehyung contributed on the lyrics too,” he narrated, but his voice shook even harder.

“That’s true,” Jimin chimed in, his voice was broken too, “Yoongi hyung insists for you to get the chorus part. He said it suit you well.” Jimin giggled breathlessly.

Jungkook closed his eyes and he sobbed. He loved it. He always loved the songs that they made together because they were always beautiful.

Jin, Yoongi, Namjoon, and Taehyung were sitting on the cafeteria in silence. Their fight had stopped more than a while ago when the security came to take them all away. Namjoon decided to call Band PD to help him clear things out so the hospital wouldn’t kick Jungkook out because of them. After an hour conversation, their PD came out and gave them a warning glare. The director of the hospital was kind enough to let them go and even gave them some favor to not let any words came out of the people who watched them fighting. And, it was also lucky that Jungkook’s parents put him into one of their private wings where he was monitored closely and there were only two other patients on the same floor as him, so not really many people to worry about.

“Sorry for being disrespectful, hyung,” Taehyung broke the silence. There was a bruise blooming on his right eye and his middle bottom lip was split.

Yoongi looked at the boy and his chest twisted in guilt. “Sorry for hitting you. Shouldn’t have done that,” Yoongi said gently.

“I deserve that,” Taehyung looked away.

“You’re allowed to hit me later. I deserve that too,” Yoongi replied.

“Hit me too,” Namjoon said.

Jin sighed. “Jungkook, Hoseok, and Jimin should hit the four of us. We deserve it that much,” he said as he recalled the way Hoseok looked at them when they came back.

“Jungkook is sleeping. He ing cried himself to sleep, thanks to you all,” Hoseok said while blocking the door with his hands so they couldn’t come inside, “oh, anyway, you all look like . I don’t want him to see his hyungs like a bunch of miserable ed up people after a ed up fight right outside his ing door. Come back later when you get your ed up heads right again.” Hoseok almost slammed the door on Namjoon’s face and they never saw Hoseok that bitter.

 “We should make it up to him,” Namjoon said, closing his eyes in agony.

“We will,” Yoongi said determined.

“I’m not really suggesting for a long tiring trip. I’m especially not suggesting any performance anytime soon,” the doctor concluded when the four of them decided to pay a little visit to the doctor’s office, “at least, until we find the donor. Jungkook is on the list and you guys just have to be patience a little bit longer.” He gave a sad smile, especially to Taehyung who had lost the light in his eyes like the first time he met them when he accompanied Jungkook to one of his hospital visits. He had grew fond of the boys since Jungkook was one of his favorite patients, not because Jungkook was an idol but because Jungkook was a strong nice kid and he just felt sorry for them seeing how much the boys loved their maknae.

“He’s tired. He needs a break, doc,” Namjoon gave him a reason and looked at him with sad eyes.

The doctor nodded his head solemnly. “I know, I know,” the kind man replied, “but I don’t want to risk it, Namjoon-shi.”

Namjoon stayed quiet for a while. He wanted to fight for Jungkook’s happiness, but he didn’t want to risk it either. He was scared making the wrong mistake. He was scared of loosing the youngest. He was scared that he’d never forgive himself if something bad really did happen while they were away.

Yoongi sighed, closing his eyes for a while. When he thought he was ready for the answer of his own questions, he sighed. “How long do we have to wait?” he asked, looking up straight to the doctor’s eyes.

The doctor shrugged sadly and there was honesty in his eyes. “I honestly don’t know. Jungkook’s in our priority list. But, I really can’t guarantee anything soon.”

“And, how long can he wait?” Yoongi continued carefully.

The doctor stared at him with pity. “Not long. It’s probably only a month or two before he’s bedridden and has to admit himself to the hospital for good, and,” he shook his head slowly, “we can only pray that he wakes up every single day.”

Jin closed his eyes and sniffed, unconsciously tearing. His chest twisted in sadness, in the feeling of loosing their maknae.

“Hey, you know what,” the doctor leaned forward, “take him away. Go on that road trip together. Like you said, he needs it. I’ll call you right away if we get the donor and you’ll have to take the fastest trip back here because we don’t have much time. Okay?”

The four of them nodded their heads in grateful but they couldn’t stop the tears from leaking out, and the doctor felt even more sorry for them.

“Make him happy and be strong for him, it’ll probably do the magic right.”

When they stepped out of the room, Namjoon slid down on the wall in front of Jungkook’s room, shoulders shaking and sobs were unstoppable. Taehyung sat next to his hyung and pulled him in a hug because everyone needed it equally, especially the leader who had been holding all the pressure for years. Jin stared blankly at the floor. Yoongi stood next to the door and collecting his right mind back, like Hoseok had suggested them.

“So, are we doing it?” Jin asked once Namjoon had calmed down.

Yoongi shrugged. “We all know the risk.”

“We also know it’ll make him happy. Isn’t that what really matters the most now? Jungkook being happy?”

Namjoon nodded his head, still sniffing in a tough way, eyes red from the tears but still full of determination. “Yeah, that’s what matters the most.”