He got back on his two feet in no time. Pushing himself when the practices started, waking up first in the morning and helping Jin with the breakfast, laughing at the silly Jimin and Taehyung. It was the first time after months that their dorm was not just some dreadful place where everyone kept quiet and hated the heavy atmosphere. They had their good days, happy days, normal days back again.

But, there were also bad days. Days when Jungkook was too tired to wake up, or too painful to breath like a normal person. Days when the first thing Namjoon had to look out in the morning was the oxygen tank that they kept safely in their dorm. Days when Yoongi was too awake to fall asleep, afraid that once he closed his eyes, Jungkook would disappear into thin air. Days when Hoseok was too quiet for their liking. And, even during those days, Jungkook still smiled and assured them that he was fine, and that they all started to believe that sweet lie although their hearts were always crushed at the fragile state of their maknae.

“Can someone please wake Jungkook up?” Jin asked through the kitchen’s door while preparing for their breakfast. It was another day where Jungkook was not able to wake up on his own because he was tired of practicing the day before. “Tae?” he asked to a particular member who was just coming from the hallway, fluffy hair still wet from the shower.

Taehyung whined. There were four lazy asses in the living room who looked up to him with little smirks as if they were winning one of the most competitive game against him and he felt gang up on. “You have four lazy members who just lay around in the living room, and you ask me? I feel betrayed, hyung!” he said dramatically and Jin just rolled his eyes before walking back into the kitchen. Taehyung’s shoulders slumped in defeat and he turned around, muttering a pitiful, “Fine…”

Taehyung walked to Namjoon’s and Jungkook’s shared room—even after all these years, whining and complaining about how loud Namjoon’s snore was, Jungkook still bore up to be the leader’s roommate. Taehyung knocked softly, did not want to startle the kid. When he did not hear any response, he opened the door slowly and peeked inside the bedroom.

“Jungkookie?”

There was a moving pile on one of the single beds, but the person under the blanket did not show his face to him. Taehyung smiled.

“Jungkookie,” Taehyung walked in and approached the bed. He sat down on Jungkook’s side and touched what he thought was Jungkook’s shoulder. “Hey, the hyungs are almost ready. We’re leaving to the studio in an hour.”

There was, again, no response coming from Jungkook, not even a movement that showed at least Jungkook acknowledged Taehyung’s presence, for a while. But, then, after a few seconds of silence, Jungkook pulled his blanket down and looked up with sleepy eyes.

“Hyung,” he said weakly and just like that, Taehyung understood.

Taehyung sighed, tucking the blanket neatly against his maknae’s shoulders. “Is it one those days?”

Jungkok blinked for a few times and nods. “Is it okay if I stay at home today?” he asked timidly, like a little kid asking for his mother’s permission to skip school.

Taehyung smiled. “Of course it’s okay. You go back to sleep and I’ll tell the hyungs, okay?”

Jungkook nodded slightly before sighing and finally closing his eyes again. Taehyung did not go out until he was sure that Jungkook had gone back to sleep.

“He’s not going today,” Taehyung informed them once he went back to the kitchen. All five of them sat together to eat their breakfast.

Jin sighed sadly. Not because they had to practice as six members or because the concert was only a week away, but because he hated seeing Jungkook weak like this. “You eat your breakfast. I’ll give him his medicine.”

“Yes, hyungnim,” Taehyung said politely, which was kind of scared them all when he turned to his quiet introvert self like this. The youngest in the room nodded solemnly and sat, leaning to Namjoon’s touch on his hair, hoping for the bad days were going to be over in a blink of his eyes. But, no, that was not happening at the moment.

They all sat there, eating their breakfast gloomily. Even when Jin came back and told them that Jungkook had taken his medicine and went back to sleep, there was nothing that could help easing the pain and the worry they had to go through on days like this.

“I don’t want to go,” Jimin said over his own bowl of breakfast.

“Jimin,” Jin sighed.

Taehyung shook his head. “I don’t wanna go too. Can I not go?”

Jin looked away to those two friends and gave a knowing glance toward Namjoon and the leader only shrugged.

“Yeah, okay, let’s not go,” Namjoon decided for them, swirling the cup of tea in his hand absent-mindedly.

“Wha—“ Jungkook woke up with a start as the bed sides next to him dipped from another weight. He looked up blearily. “I thought you guys left already,” he said sleepily.

Hoseok chuckled softly and wrapped his arms around Jungkook’s waist. “We want to stay with you,” he stayed behind Jungkook, warm and protective.

“And skip practice?”

Jungkook could feel the older nodding on the back of his neck.

“Practice’s boring without you,” Jimin slumped down in front of him with a pout. Cute.

“Well, staying at home without you guys is kinda boring too,” he said while turning around to face Hoseok and cuddled affectionately.

Hoseok pulled back a little bit at the sudden skinship, because Jungkook hated skinship, and looking terrified at Jungkook. “Who are you and what did you do to our maknae?!” he asked dramatically and Jimin and Jungkook laughed, but then the rapper hugged Jungkook again, making sure that Jungkook laid comfortably on his shoulder.

They all decided to spend lazy day at the dorm before ordering take-out food.

Six more days spent around with practicing till night, but for once, ever since they got into the industry, it was the most relaxing concert preparation in their life. Yes, they practiced for hours, dancing and singing. But, no pressure at all. They rested when they wanted to, not only when they needed to. The dance rehearsal was, as Hoseok would put it, a disaster. And, they laughed it off like it was the most hilarious thing when Namjoon’s flailing hand almost broke Yoongi’s nose and Taehyung and Jin bumping into each other during their parts in War of Hormone.

“We haven’t done that dance routine for years,” Jin shrieked when the dance leader threw an accusing glance to him.

And, they never really realized when the D-day had come.

“,” was the first thing Jimin said when he was awake enough next to Jungkook—the three maknaes decided it was fun to sleep together, “it’s tonight.”

“This is our most unprepared concert,” Taehyung said but he laughed at that.

Jungkook, who was sandwiched in the middle of his hyung, looked weirdly at Taehyung. “Aren’t you feeling guilty for wasting our preparation time now?” he asked softly.

Taehyung propped himself up and returned the youngest’s stare like he just said the weirdest and stupidest thing ever. “No?” he chuckled, “More than half of this concert is paid by our own money.”

Jimin turned to his side and poked Jungkook’s shoulder in a soothing manner. “We do this for a good purpose.”

“And what’s that?”

“To be happy,” Taehyung answered instead of Jimin.

Jungkook could feel Jimin was nodding next to him. He looked away and stared at the ceiling. “Isn’t that like the most selfish thing to do?”

“Yeah, it probably is, but when we’re happy, everyone else will be happy too,” Jimin assuring him, “especially the fans.”

“Are you sure? Can you guarantee that?”

Taehyung laughed loudly. “Silly Jeon Jungkook. Of course we’re sure of that. That is like the most obvious thing in the world.”

Jungkook watched Taehyung’s shoulder shook from the giggles and, honestly, that was the most unreasonable answer the older had provided him—it was not like Taehyung made sense most of the time, anyway—but it was enough to drag Jungkook to his two feet and get ready for the day he had been waiting for.

Jin prepared them big breakfast and warm smile once he saw all of s.

“Nervous?” Jin asked quietly, enough for Jungkook to hear but not for the other hyungs to, while serving the pancakes slowly so he had time to talk with the maknae.

Jungkook looked up from where he was sitting and shrugged in agreement, before looking back down.

“Because you have to talk later, or—?”

“Because I’m still not sure if this is okay.”

“And, why’s that?”

“I don’t know, I—“ Jungkook sighed, “I just feel so self-centered.”

Jin chuckled and nudged Jungkook’s shoulder with his arm. “Hey,” he said to get Jungkook’s attention and the youngest looked up again, eyes wide like a little kid Jin always wanted to protect since the first day he was introduced to him, “you know the fans love you, right?” Jungkook nodded, “And you know we all love you too? More than anything?”

“Yes, hyung.”

“So,” Jin leaned forward to get to the same eye-level as Jungkook which kind of attract Yoongi’s attention but the latter just shrug it off, giving those two a bit space they needed in the middle of chaotic life they usually had with the other five, “you do know that there’s really nothing to worry about? Even if they don’t love you and turn their backs on you, we would never, Jeon Jungkook, never ever leave you behind for anything,” he said, getting the right acknowledgment in Jungkook’s eyes at the assurance, “that’s a promise.” He winked and stood up again to distribute the other pancakes, leaving Jungkook with small smile in his lips.

His hyungs would always get his back.

“Where the hell is Jeon Jungkook?!”

Namjoon turned around at the sound of their panic manager and frowned. “He was just here,” Namjoon answered, pointing to the couch next to him in the waiting room. He caught Jin’s, Yoongi’s, and Hoseok’s worried eyes from the mirrors. The chair on the left end was supposed to be occupied by the maknae and everyone could not find him anywhere nearby.

“Where’s that brat gone missing?” one of the coordi-noonas looked absolutely worried, “He hasn’t even got his make up done yet an—Oh my God! Is this his shirt?! He hasn’t changed too?!” And, that was Namjoon’s cue to stand up and find the youngest.

“And, where in the world the other two brats go?!” the other manager shrieked as Namjoon left the room. Yeah, Jimin and Taehyung could be reckless and annoyingly carefree, but they were responsible, so Jungkook was first at the moment. He could get the worst idea at the worst time of the day.

Namjoon did not have to look for a long time inside their huge venue concert. He knew exactly where to find the youngest.

“It’s funny, hyung, they don’t know we can see them from up here,” Jungkook giggled, “I wish I can watch them watching us during the concert. It’ll be hilarious. Oh! Why don’t we make a surprise event, coming from here to down there—”

“With a rope!” Taehyung chimed in excitedly.

“A rope, really, Kim Taehyung?” Yoongi looked at him judgingly, “I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to break my neck.”

“Or you’re just a lazy ,” Taehyung replied.

“And, you’re looking for a death wish,” Yoongi moved swiftly to grab the younger’s neck, but when he missed, he lowered his hand back and leaned back.

“Kids,” Jin warned them and Taehyung behaved immediately.

But, the only thing which got Namjoon’s attention was the curve of Jungkook’s lips.

“Hey.”

Jungkook looked up from where he was sitting. It was the highest seating area in the stadium, and the farthest, that was why they did not open it to be sold because then the audience could not watch them comfortably. “Hey,” he greeted back softly.

Namjoon took that as a sign to sit next to him. Under them, the fans were filling the arena orderly, chatting with each other excitedly.

“I thought the kids and Jin were able to assure you,” Namjoon sighed.

Jungkook frowned, but he kept his eyes toward the fans. “About what?”

“About today.”

“I’m not worried about the concert, hyung,” Jungkook shrugged, “I’m worried about what I’m gonna say. What if they leave us after this? What if they leave you?”

Namjoon laughed. “You are the stupidest boy I’ve ever met,” Namjoon said, grabbing the back of Jungkook’s neck and it gently, “and, also, the most selfless person and the brightest, the kindest, the best maknae we could ever ask for. The best inspiration those people down there could ever look up to. If they leave, let them, that means they don’t really love us for who we are. And, if they stay, let them too, that means we still have so many people worth fighting for. I have people worth fighting for,” Namjoon smiled, never bothered to look at Jungkook, instead he was looking up to the dark ceiling, “I don’t mean to brag about it, but can you imagine how many mountains I had to climb to make this concert possible? To make you smile and happy and to make what you want really do come true? Tons. But, that’s not the point, that’s not the real question. The real question is why. Why would Kim Namjoon climb mountains for Jeon Jungkook?” he finally looked at Jungkook’s in the eyes and waited, waited for the wall to crumble down, waited for Jungkook to trust him, and every single day, if it meant so much for Jungkook and s, he would wait, he would fight, he would do anything, “Because Jeon Jungkook is worth fighting for. I love you, that much. You’re my family, our family. If they leave, I don’t give a single , and so does Yoongi hyung and Jin hyung and Hoseokie and Jiminnie and Taehyungie. If we can’t continue as Bangtan Boys? I really don’t give a because we matter the most, right now. Whatever the problem is, we’re going to go through this together, the seven of us. You’d do the same if it were the other members. Isn’t that enough?”

Jungkook stayed quiet for a while. Namjoon had ran out words for the first time in his life. Even when he was facing thousands of fans in the most emotional part of their concert and in the verge of crying, he never ran out of words. But, this was Jeon Jungkook, the glue, the object of their affection, the person they want to protect the most, and he did not know what to say anymore. If he could slice his chest to really show the maknae what he felt, he would do that right there.

And, he was looking for another way to calm Jungkook down when he wrapped his arms around Namjoon’s neck, broken sobs and thank yous were heard. Namjoon ruffled his hair and smiled against Jungkook’s neck.

They were gonna be alright.

Twenty songs. More than half way through the concert. No solo stages. Less choreography than how they used to perform. But, it was a pure hype. Everyone enjoyed, even the fans looked like they forgot any incident that ever happened for the last years they were together. It was just the seven of them and their parents and their brothers and sisters and their staffs, their managers, their boss, their band, their fans, their family.

Jungkook was standing in the middle of the stage. Two songs left before the encore and the moment of truth had come to him. All the lights were turned off but one single light was illuminating him. He could not cry; he did not want to.

“Hey,” he greeted them like an old friend and the fans greeted him back with a chorus of hey too. Jungkook chuckled. “So, the hyungs are preparing for the next stage back there. It’s okay if I say a few things to you guys right?” his voice shook.

Yes!

Of course!

We’re here, Jungkook-ah!

He remembered their first ever solo concert, at the same place, with these faces too years ago. He remembered Jimin telling him not to cry, but he did, could not help it. He remembered Namjoon hugging him on stage, in front of everyone. He remembered not being able to talk to his parents, not on the stage and not at backstage or even at home. He remembered everyone was a crying mess during those two days except for Jin. He remembered everything after that, weeks, months, years. He remembered and he did not want to forget, or be forgotten.

“It—“ Jungkook breathed, he was bad at it, but he had to be strong, he was not a kid anymore, “it was almost a year ago, when I started to disappear, remember?” he laughed humorlessly, “I was diagnosed with something that changed my life completely. I was fine that morning, fighting with Jin hyung and complaining to Namjoon hyung and promising Jimin hyung and Taehyung hyung to have a vide game competition with them once I came home, and it changed in a mere of few hours. I am in need of a donor. But—but that’s not the point of my speech today. There is only one important thing I want to tell you. I feel grateful for everything, for my hyungs, my parents and brother, for manager hyungs, for the coordi-noonas, for Bang PD-nim and all the staffs that support us all these years, for everyone that I’m not able to mention one by one, and, especially, to every single one of you, our fans, who doesn’t leave when there are incidents and rumors going around, when people hate us, when you know I was hiding something from you guys, when right now hearing my speech and knowing that I probably ruin Bangtan’s future. I want to thank all of you for helping me to be who I am now. It’s hard right, staying with us all these years?” he asked with teary smile.

“It’s not!!” someone yelled from somewhere inside the stadium and everyone followed her, before turning back to silence.

“Ey,” Jungkook said playfully, “I know it is. I know how much you guys always defend us when there are people hating us. We’re still immature sometimes. It must be hard. But, you stay. And, you even keep telling us that we inspire you—“

“You do!” came another yelling from the other part of the stadium.

Jungkook chuckled. “Really? Well, thank you, so much. I want you to know that you guys inspire us too. Always. We want to be the best for all of you and for each other too. I want to be the best for you guys.”

Jungkook stopped for a while. Some of the girls at the front line were sobbing already and he smiled, shaking his head, don’t cry. He held his head up again, ready to continue his words. “I have something to ask to you guys though, do you mind helping me?” he said lightly, no more trace of sadness.

Tell us!

“I have these six wonderful hyungs who love me, protect me, make sure that I’m always comfortable around, believe in me,” he glanced to the side of the stage where the six of them were waiting for their cue to come in—Hoseok has started crying and Jungkook laughed at how ugly the older’s crying face, “and, I know, they’re feeling down for what’s going on with me. They just want to make me happy, you know. That’s how kind they are. And, I keep thinking that when I leave, I don’t know—I think they’re going to be sad,” he said, smiling sadly while looking down, “because I, myself, can’t imagine how messed up I am if it were one of them. So, you guys have to promise me something, okay? Promise me to never leave them behind, promise me you guys will keep supporting each other.” He smiled brightly, tears started streaming down his face again, “Can you do that?”

For some time, none of the fans answered his question, and he was sad, but he knew it was probably because the news was too sudden and too shocking. He smiled even more, assuring everyone that he was okay and shifted slightly. But, then, there were one, two, five—more than fans he could ever imagine, nodded their heads and saying yes while crying—why were they crying? He was just their idol.

“Can you promise me that?” he asked louder.

And, then, the whole stadium stood up and answered his question with yes yes yes we promise!

Jungkook nodded his head, finally getting the assurance he was looking for. “Take care of them for me,” he said and finally looked to the pianist, getting ready at the side of the stage, before a melody came through and the fans cried even harder with the next song, the song that had not been sung for a long time. His six members came into the stage, walking solemnly but peacefully. For fans, they had to be strong. For Jungkook, they had to be happy. Jungkook did not look at them, instead he was focused more on his job as a singer this time, channeling his emotions through his voice.

아무것도 생각하지 마

Don’t think of anything

넌 아무 말도 꺼내지도 마

Don’t say anything, not even a word

그냥 내게 웃어줘

Just give me a smile

난 아직도 믿기지가 않아

I still can’t believe it
이 모든 게 다 꿈인 것 같아

All of this seems like a dream
사라지려 하지마

Don’t try to disappear
 

Is it true Is it true

Is it true Is it true
You You

You You
너무 아름다워 두려워

You’re so beautiful, that I’m scared

Untrue Untrue

Untrue Untrue

You You You

You You You

곁에 머물러줄래

Will you stay by my side

내게 약속해줄래

Will you promise me

손 대면 날아갈까 부서질까

If I let go of your hand, you’ll fly away and break
겁나 겁나 겁나

I’m scared scared scared of that

시간을 멈출래

Will you stop time
이 순간이 지나면

If this moment passes
없었던 일이 될까 널 잃을까

As though it hadn’t happened
겁나 겁나 겁나

I’m scared scared scared I’ll lose you

Butterfly like a Butterfly

Butterfly like a Butterfly
마치 Butterfly bu butterfly 처럼

Just like a Butterfly bu butterfly

Butterfly like a Butterfly

Butterfly like a Butterfly
마치 Butterfly bu butterfly 처럼

Just like a Butterfly bu butterfly

넌 마치 Butterfly

You’re just like a Butterfly
멀리서 훔쳐봐 손 닿으면 널 잃을까

From afar, I steal glances; if we touch hands, will I lose you?
이 칠흑 같은 어둠 속 날 밝히는 나비효과

You shine in this pitch darkness that is the butterfly effect
니 작은 손짓 한 번에 현실을 잊어 난

Your light touches, I forget the reality at once

살며시 쓰다듬는 바람 같아

It’s like a wind that gently me
살포시 표류하는 먼지 같아

It’s like a dust that gently drifts along
넌 거기 있지만 왠지 닿지 않아Stop

You’re there but for some reason, I can’t reach you, stop
꿈 같은 넌 내게 butterfly high

You, who’s like a dream is a butterfly high to me

Untrue Untrue

Untrue Untrue

You You You

You You You

곁에 머물러줄래

Will you stay by my side

내게 약속해줄래

Will you promise me

손 대면 날아갈까 부서질까

If I let go of your hand, you’ll fly away and break
겁나 겁나 겁나

I’m scared scared scared of that

시간을 멈출래

Will you stop time
이 순간이 지나면

If this moment passes
없었던 일이 될까 널 잃을까

As though it hadn’t happened
겁나 겁나 겁나

I’m scared scared scared I’ll lose you

심장은 메마른 소리를 내

The small pieces guttered down darkly
꿈인지 현실인지 알 수 없네

From my heart, a barren noise
나의 해변의 카프카여

I don’t know if this is reality or a dream
저기 숲으로 가진 말아줘

My Kafka on the seaside
내 마음은 아직 너 위에 부서져 조각조각 까맣게 녹아 흘러

Don’t go to those woods over there My heart is still shattering on you

(난 그냥 이대로 증발하고 싶어)

(I just wanted to vaporize like this)

내 사랑은 영원인 걸

My love that is forever

It’s all FREE for you baby

It’s all FREE for you baby 

곁에 머물러줄래

Will you stay by my side

내게 약속해줄래

Will you promise me

손 대면 날아갈까 부서질까

If I let go of your hand, you’ll fly away and break
겁나 겁나 겁나

I’m scared scared scared of that

시간을 멈출래

Will you stop time
이 순간이 지나면

If this moment passes
없었던 일이 될까 널 잃을까

As though it hadn’t happened
겁나 겁나 겁나

I’m scared scared scared I’ll lose you

Butterfly like a Butterfly

Butterfly like a Butterfly
마치 Butterfly bu butterfly 처럼

Just like a Butterfly bu butterfly

Butterfly like a Butterfly

Butterfly like a Butterfly
마치 Butterfly bu butterfly 처럼

Just like a Butterfly bu butterfly

Um, okay, what's this? 366 subscribers?!!! Are you not on the wrong page or something?!! Seriously, guys, thank you! I never even imagined myself to get 100 subscribers and now there are 366 of you?????? While I'm being a ty writer for not updating this regularly *sigh* I'm sorry, guys. But, you know what, I got good news.... *whispered* There are only 3 chapters left!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And, the hardest part of the story to write is over, which is the last 2-3 chapters that I posted (including this chapter!!!!). I have prepared these 3 final chapters since a pretty long time ago because that was what I imagined first for this story (LOL I'm writing it backward LOLOL). But, they aren't finished yet, like for the next chapter, I still have maybe 30% left to finish. For Chapter 11, maybe around 20% more. But, [FINAL] Chapter 12 is done already.

Sorry that the timeline of the story is a bit in a rush.... Honestly I at writing, I don't know why you guys still stick around with me :D but you know, I really appreciate it :)

See you guys soon!!!!!!

Spoiler: prepare tissue for the next chapter XD