Sacrifice and What Ifs
I Didn't Want You, But I Needed You
Everyone had to make some sort of sacrifice.
Some bigger than others. And at that young of an age, most people didn't had to make the kind of sacrifice she was faced with. She had to make sacrifices that would more than likely impact her for the rest of her life.
She's have to sacrifice her life (dancing), her body, martial arts, and all her free time just because she slept with one guy. But in hindsight, she only assumed that it was her fault. She didn't view it as an accident, she viewed it as her being stupid and ty despite it only being one guy.
She should've been more careful that night and asked if he had brought a . Being more careful by remembering to take her birth control. It was all her fault, and now she didn't want to drag others into the mess she created. But life doesn't always turn out the way you want it or essentially need it to, and Gong Minji knew that full well. Minji was the love child of a once perfect girl, the perfect daughter (much like herself) and a high class (if that term can be used for this) mafia leader. And it's not what you think it is, her mother wanted her and was surprisingly deeply in love with her father. To be honest the whole story was somewhat romantic when told. Even though her mother never told her, Minji just sort of knew she was an accident. Minji knew that she had practically ruined their once perfect lives and that's why she had tried so hard to be the obedient, quiet daughter that stayed out of their way and didn't ask for much. To make up for being this huge weight they would have to carry for twenty years.
Minji knew she didn't have time for romance and she didn't care one way or another. Her life was already full; school, dance, school, dance. That was her attempt to be the perfect daughter. That was the unbroken cycle she had gotten used since her elementary school days when she realized what she had done to her parents. Back then, her and her ex-best friend, Kim Hyoyeon, were care free, dancing just for fun. Those were some of her best memories, it was when she was at her happiest. When high school rolled around, Hyoyeon decided to ditch the vulnerable, close to breaking Minji for some group of über popular girls that were much prettier, richer, and in every way better than Minji. She really didn't mind, and honestly she understood why Hyoyeon wouldn't want to hangout with her anymore. It was only a matter of time, Minji realized, when they'd all abandon her. And oddly, she didn't hold it against her, or any of her old friends, for she understood full well how much it weighed a person to be with someone who had as many problems as Minji did.
For as long as Minji could possibly remember, Seungri had always seemed to be in her small shadow. But on in the bad way, in the way that he seemed to forever be keeping an eye on her no matter what was going on. Though it creeped her out, Minji wasn't the one to start anything. What she feared the most was not the future, but that one day she'd wake up and find Seungri had thrown her away like all the those that had thrown her away. Was that what love was?
They say that the most important thing about living is being happy. And when you're happy, life will reward with the things you both want and need.
Whoever wrote that was idiot and had never met Gong Minji.
- Gong Minji
He's never really loved anyone, in fact, he wasn't really sure was love was. He had never seen love displayed, not to him, not to others, not to anyone. And how does one love when the people that are supposed to love leave? Impossible. Right? In his dictionary, there was only a blank space next to the word "love". His fosters said that they "loved" him, but he knew that it was lies. Still, they treated him very well and that was closet thing he could call to a stable home.
"Kwon Ji Yong," The voice of his wanted love called him out of his thoughts, "I have your and that other guys notes'. The lesson was pretty easy, but if you have questions, you can ask. I did the work during the lesson." Her face emotionless, but her voice leaked with annoyance and pity. The voice that made him freeze up with nervousness.
"T-Thank you Chaerin. I a-appreciate it very much." Stretching his hand out, Chaerin slapped the notebook into his hands and rolled her eyes as to say he was wasting her time.
"Anything else?" Chaerin breathed out and squinted her eyes at him.
"Yes Lee Chaerin. Yes, since the day a saw you, I've thought you were the most beautiful, amazing girl and I'd be honored to take you out on a date." Is what Ji Yong wanted to say, but he just shook his head instead and stepped aside.
His life was flooded with disappointment since day one. Ji Yong doesn't have any memories of his life before he was abandoned, but he's not sure would want to remember them. Remember the people who just life him without anything, left a helpless child. After that, he was bounced around from home to home because of his wild nature. And only about when he was nineteen had he been in a stable family that wanted a son. A year past, and they adopted him, but he never shed the habit of calling them his fosters.
What if they left him too? What if he started to care? What if Lee Chaerin would never feel the same way about Ji Yong as he felt about her? What if he just got up and left like he had been so good at doing?
What if, what if, what if...
- Kwon Ji Yong
Comments