Your POV

You stood outside of the door and took a selca of yourself with the door. Sending the photo, you topped it off with a caption, ‘Where do you think I am?’ Hopefully he’s awake. After the conversation with Mark oppa last night, you have planned to head to his house today.

Flashbacked to this morning, you woke up early to prepare yourself, and most importantly, to give Mark oppa a surprise. You have never once cook for anyone and not even yourself. He should be honoured.

You looked up the Internet as you dug out the ingredients needed from the refrigerator. Since it was an impromptu decision, you had to make do with what was available: carrots, crabsticks, kimchi and eggs. The first step was to cook the rice and that was no issue to you. “That’s easy.” You said with your confidence raised. Letting the rice cook itself, you went off to prepare the ingredients.

You pan fried the carrots and seasoned them with sesame oil and a small amount of salt; doing the same for the crabsticks. Setting them aside to cool, you went to beat some eggs. Pouring the egg mixture, a few droplets of oil splattered out, making you winch. Once the egg omelette was done too, you waited for a while more for the rice to be done. Seasoning the cooked rice with sesame oil, white sesame seeds and salt, you mixed them well and even.

With everything done and just having to let them cool, you went off to prepare yourself. Picking out an oversized maroon pullover and matching it with a legging, you bunned up your morning hair. With everything all prepared, you went back to make the kimbap. The first roll of kimbap was a failure with the ingredients and rice spilling out. The second roll too was a mess. Not giving up, you continued with the kimbap and packed those that were presentable. What a tough morning.

So now here you are, sitting in front of Mark’s apartment, waiting for him to respond to your text message. After waiting for a good thirty minutes, it was already 11.40am. You got tired of the wait and decided to call him.

The line took pretty long before it was picked up. Not hearing any reply from the opposite line, you spoke up. “Hello, oppa?” A low deep voice was heard. “Hello?”

“Oppa, it’s me, Eun Jae. I’m at your door now. Are you.. a-awake?” There was no response. All you could hear was soft muffled and rustling sound. “Oppa?” You asked again for a response. Looking at your screen, you checked if the line was cut off, but it wasn’t.

“Neh!! I’ll get the door for you!” With that, the phone call ended. Being in a daze, the door opened, revealing a half asleep Mark. He ruffled his messy bed hair and with an embarrassed look, he said, “Didn’t I say I’ll fetch you at 1pm?” You held up a paper bag. “Surprise?”

Being in a loss of words and half asleep, Mark was just in a daze. “Aren’t you gonna invite me in?” He seemed to get back on earth and invited you into his house. Looking around, it was small and simply furnished. No doubt, it was cosy too. Mark directed you to the sofa and you took a seat. “Give me a moment, I’ll be quick.” You nodded and with that, Mark oppa went off to wash up and prepare himself as you waited for him.

“I’m done.” He came sitting next to you. “That’s fast!” You turned to look at him in wait for his response, but instead he brought you into a big hug. “I shouldn’t have let you see me in my messy state.” Mark oppa sighed. Releasing yourself from the hug, you shook your head. “Ani. You’re still good looking.” His warm fingers landed on your cheeks as he pinches them, making your face scrunched. “Aing. So cute.” His words made you giggled. “I think you’re cuter oppa.”

When his pinching has stopped, you took out the lunchbox you prepared this morning. “I’ve made you food oppa. Try it!” You were excited for him to try what you’ve made and he popped one slice of kimbap into his mouth. The silence was nerve racking. Nervousness made you lips dry, as you eyed him for any sign of expression. Worried; you asked, “How is it?”

“Is this your first time cooking?” You gave a slow nod. Mark fed you one slice of the kimbap. Your eyes squinted themselves and your nose scrunched as you chewed on it. “I must have mistaken the sugar as salt.” Rubbing the back of the neck, you continued, “I didn’t taste it beforehand since I was rushing for time. Mi-ahn-hae oppa.” You ended with a sigh.

Without a second word, Mark oppa picked up a second slice and ate it. “Don’t eat it oppa!! It’s not that nice.” You closed the lid of the lunchbox and hid it in your arms.

“Ani. It’s not that bad. It’s just.. sweet.” Mark oppa retorted as he tries to grab the lunchbox from you. Being in a hunched position, you weren’t willing to let go of the lunchbox. You burst into laughter as Mark attacked you with tickles, making you fall to your sides. Still, holding onto the lunchbox as if you’re holding onto your live. Shifting your body from side to side, there was nowhere you could escape from his tickles. Breathless; you were tired from the laughing and escaping, making you surrender. Mark gave a victory laugh before he digs into the kimbap. “Don’t eat all! I’m hungry too!” You regained your conscious from the torturous tickles and sneakily took a slice for yourself.

With the kimbap all finished, you went to the kitchen to do the dishes. You hummed to Miss A’s ‘only you’ as you washed them. Feeling a warm pair of arms around your waist, you froze. Mark had his whole body leaning on you. His soft breathing were tickling your ears, making them feel cold and ticklish. You couldn’t help but chuckled. “Thanks for the surprise. I love it.” He mumbled and the hug grew tighter. You felt butterflies in your stomach. If they were to be real, they would all have died from the burning in your body. “You’re welcome oppa.” Your body was still frozen.

“Why are you so scared? He’s your boyfriend.” A voice grew within you and another argued. “You know you’re in love with Jaebum oppa, it’s time you come clean.” There was an internal conflict within you. Both the devil and angel were fighting. “Mark loves you so much. Don’t be selfish.”

The devil countered back, “Exactly! Who is able to find someone who loves you more than you loves him?” The devilish voice continued, “Don’t you love the attention Mark is giving you? Hasn’t you been yearning for such attention?” You tilted your head to the side and started frowning at those words.

“No no no. Don’t teach her the wrong thing! It’s hurting everyone. Mark, JB and even herself.” However, the devil’s words got to me. “Do you want Mark to hate you? To hate you for lying to him and hurting his feelings?”

“No! I don’t!!” You shouted as you covered your ears with your arms and shaking your head vigorously. You knew the devil has won. “Hey baby, are you okay?” Mark oppa turned you to face him. Putting your arms down and opening your eyes, you realised you got too deep into your thoughts. Taking a really deep breath, you sighed. “I’m fine. Just thought of some things.”

Touching your forehead, he washed your soapy hands and walked you to the sofa. “Just take a rest okay?” Giving a small nod, Mark gave a squeeze on your shoulder and headed back to the kitchen.

Sitting alone, you thought through what the voices said. You know you’re selfish to be tying Mark down when you clearly still in love with JB. You do want to be honest with Mark too, yet at the same time you do not want to lose someone who gives you the affection you have been craving for. Which girl doesn’t likes to be adore? Having someone who loves you more than you loves him, that option was tempting.

Being in love with JB oppa for such a long period of time, you’ve turned down those that chased after you and you thought being together with Mark, was a chance for you to move on. The attention JB oppa always gave were subtle and confusing. Never once were you able to tell if he sees you as a sister, or more than that. But honestly, it was painful having to pretend you do not love him too. Those unspoken feelings and words, they’ve brought you nothing but guilt, confusion and pain.

“Drink up alright.” Mark oppa brought you a cup of water and patted your head. Such simple action has easily melted your heart. “You must have studied too much for the past few days.” He sighed.

“Let’s go.” Grabbing onto your hand, he pulled you up. Shocked, your eyes widen as you place the cup carefully on the table, making sure it doesn’t spill. “Where are we going?” He turned and showed his toothy smile. “Somewhere you’ll love.”

--

GOT7inSG yesterday and I was at home crying. Hurhur T.T