Sungjong wrapped his arms around Myungsoo’s waist and buried his face in his chest.

“Don’t turn away from me”.

Myungsoo froze. In his mind, he kept telling himself to push the boy away but his body was not listening to him. He tried to pry Sungjong’s arms away from but the cyborg had held him in a death-grip, stubbornly pressing his body closer and closer against Myungsoo’s.

“Sungjong, I-“

“Shhh. You talk too much, Myungsoo. Let’s just sleep like this”.

A few moments later, Myungsoo heard Sungjong snoring lightly, his arms still secure in their position.

Myungsoo sighed.

What are you doing, Kim Myungsoo?

--

Myungsoo and Sungjong were like two sides of a coin, day and night, yin and yang.

For one thing, Sungjong was very affectionate. Not to the extent where he was clingy but he certainly was not shy about doing skinship with Myungsoo. Myungsoo found himself in very awkward situations most of the time. Like the time when Sungjong came out of the shower and refused to wear clothes, claiming the house was too warm and stuffy.

And then there were other instances were Sungjong would unconsciously intertwine their fingers together while they watched dramas. Myungsoo would awaken in the middle of the night with his legs entangled with Sungjong’s slim ones.

Skinship that was subtle like wiping a stain off the corner of Myungsoo’s lips or their cheeks pressed together when they sleep.

Little things that were enough to cause Myungsoo’s heart beat to accelerate ten times faster than normal and yet set off a hundred warning bells in his mind.

Trust and Commitment.

These were two things that Myungsoo avoided at all cost. Life in the orphanage taught him how to be independent and mentally strong. There are only ourselves to trust and rely on. Everyone else will betray you. Myungsoo learned that the hard way.

That independence was also what led him to remain alone. Before Myungsoo found out he had cancer, he already was not interested in having a serious relationship. He dated a couple of times but the relationships were never longer than a year ,with his partners claiming he was “cold” or he “did not love them as much as they did”. Now that he’s suddenly vulnerable to the hands of time, he was even more convinced that he needed no one.

Of course, Myungsoo was not totally indifferent towards love. He would feel lonely at times so he would drop by a club or a bar to seek for someone who could satisfy his ual needs. He would pay his partners if he needed to. He didn’t mind. Because the next morning, they would go separate ways, back to their own lives. As if nothing happened between them. It gave Myungsoo a sense of control.

But now Myungsoo finds the only control he still has slipping away from him.

Maybe it was the cancer cells that’s making Myungsoo lose his rationality but he believed the fact that he bought a cyborg was totally on impulse. A person as calculating and meticulous as he, would never ever consider doing something as crazy as this at the first place.

But it wasn’t that he did not consider the consequences of his actions at all. Myungsoo did weigh the pros and cons of having a cyborg. He had to admit Sungjong was really beautiful. Maybe even more beautiful than his previous partners. And the fact that he would not have to worry about dealing with tears and accusations nor the need to appease his partner. If he got tired of playing with Sungjong, he could just send him back to the store.There were no strings attached whatsoever.

But that was not the case anymore. Myungsoo could feel Sungjong slowly seeping his way into his heart. And it scared him.

So Myungsoo did what he normally did, what he did best. He chose to turn a blind eye to his problems, to his emotions. He gave Sungjong the cold shoulder.

--

“We need to talk”.

Sungjong stood in front of Myungsoo, blocking the entrance of the front door. It has been almost two weeks since Myungsoo ignored him. Although Myungsoo would respond when Sungjong talked to him, Sungjong knew he was avoiding him. They did not cuddle on the couch anymore. Sungjong would be in the living room alone while Myungsoo went out. Every time Sungjong proposed doing something with Myungsoo, he would say he had an appointment with his friends. They don’t even sleep on the same bed anymore as Myungsoo slept on the couch while Sungjong slept in the bedroom by himself. He missed his warmth. Sungjong did not know what the reason was for Myungsoo to be suddenly acting this way but he hated it. He needs to fix this. Now.

“Sungjong, move. You’re in the way.”

“No” Sungjong said, stubbornly staying in his position.

“Why are you avoiding me?” He tried to search Myungsoo’s eyes for answers but all he saw was sadness, annoyance and maybe…fear?

“I’m no-“

“Yes you are! Did I do something wrong? If I did, tell me what it is. I’ll do better!”

Myungsoo did not know how to respond to him. He knew it was not Sungjong’s fault. It was his but he was not ready for a confrontation.

“Look, I-I have to go.” Myungsoo pushed Sungjong lightly on the shoulders and was just about to walk out the door when he felt a tug on his sleeve.

“Myungsoo…please…”

Myungsoo ran his fingers through his hair and sighed exasperatedly.

“Fine…follow me.”

--

It was almost an hour’s drive from their home to where they’re currently at. The car ride was quiet, with Sungjong glancing at Myungsoo occasionally but did not dare say a word. Sungjong noticed a small bouquet of carnations between them and wondered if they were going to meet someone.

The car stopped in front of the entrance of what looked like a park. They got out of the car and went inside. Sungjong followed close behind Myungsoo. They walked up the slope of a grassy hill and reached rows and rows of stones with writings on them. Sungjong could see various names and dates of people with messages from families underneath. They kept walking and walking until Myungsoo suddenly stopped in front of a particular stone.

Kim Jimin

1965-1999

Beloved friend and family member

Myungsoo kneeled down and placed the carnations in front of the headstone.

“Hey, mom.”

Sungjong stood at a distance, observing him. He was confused. Myungsoo was talking to his mom but Sungjong could not see her anywhere.

“Myungsoo…where is your mom?”

“She’s right here…underneath…she’s sleeping.”

“Sleeping?”

“Yeah…a sleep she’ll never wake up from.”

Flashback

“Mommy!”

Mrs Kim rushed to Myungsoo’s room when she heard sobs and yells from his son. Myungsoo had been having nightmares lately so she would always leave her door open in case he got scared.

“What’s wrong, honey?” She gently Myungsoo’s hair and wiped away his tears.

“I –hic- had a-a bad –hic- dream. S-Something bad is gonna happen” he cried as he buried his face in his mom’s chest.

“Shh. There there. Nothing bad is going to happen”

“Really?”

“Of course, honey. Now go back to sleep. You’ll forget about it tomorrow”.

“Will you stay here with me, mommy?”

“Of course, my baby boy.” Mrs Kim kissed her son’s forehead and continued to his hair until he fell asleep again.

The first thing Myungsoo saw when he woke up was smoke everywhere. He coughed, finding it very hard to breathe. Then he noticed that his mom was not there.

“Mommy! Mommy! Where are you?”

“I’m over here, Myungsoo!” He could hear her close by but he could not see her as the smoke filled the room and his eyes watered every time he squinted them open. He continued yelling for his mom and waved his arms around when he felt himself being picked up.

“I got you, honey. We have to get out of here. Don’t be scared. Mommy’s right here”.

They ran into the living room and towards the door. The curtains were burnt into mere shreds of cloth. Pictures on the wall fell to the ground as they slowly burned to nothing. Myungsoo watched as the fire consumed his home, the place that held his most precious memories. They almost reached the door when part of the roof collapsed on top of them.

Myungsoo squeezed his eyes shut, waiting for the pain to come. But he felt nothing. He slowly opened his eyes and saw his mom shielding him with her body. His eyes widened, tears streaming down his little face.

“Mommy!”

“It’ll be alright, Myungsoo. My baby. My Myungsoo. You have to be a good boy, ok?”

Two firemen knocked the door down and rushed inside. They managed to pull Myungsoo out when more parts of the roof fell down. One of them took Myungsoo and ran out of the house. A policeman took Myungsoo from his arms. He was about to run back in to help the other fireman when the whole house engulfed into flames and folded inward.

Myungsoo jumped out of the policeman’s arms and attempted to run towards the house when hands held him back.

“Let me go! My mommy’s still inside! Mommy! Save my mommy!”

The funeral was held the following morning. Relatives and neighbors came and left, saying words of comfort to Myungsoo. Due to some circumstances, none of the relatives were able to take him in. Then, Myungsoo saw a tall man placing a flower down on the grave. It was a familiar face that Myungsoo saw in some of the photos at home.

“…Daddy? Daddy!” Myungsoo ran towards the man and wrapped his arms around his legs. He thought the man would pick him up and soothe him or pat his head. Instead, he stared into cold eyes when he looked up.

“Get your filthy hands off me. Bastard child.”

Anger. Hurt. Rejection.

The innocence that shown brightly in Myungsoo’s eyes left him that day. He trembled as he gripped the only photo left of his mom tightly in his little hands.

End flashback

“I’m sorry, Myungsoo…” Sungjong could feel Myungsoo’s pain and sadness as he looked at the man’s lonely back.

“Can you believe it? That sad excuse of a father didn’t even bother hiding his disgust towards me. This is what humans are, Sungjong. They’re ugly. They’re cruel.”

Myungsoo closed his eyes, gritting his teeth. He felt Sungjong gently place his hand on top of his own and turned towards him.

“Humans can be ugly. Humans can be cruel. But I believe not all of them are that way. You aren’t. And there could be many others that aren’t either. So don’t be afraid, Myungsoo. Don’t push me away. Let me in.”

Myungsoo could feel the walls he had built for so long around his heart slowly crumbling.

--------Author's note------------

Midterms are killing me! But spring break is almost here! WOOOTTT

Anyway~ hope you enjoy this chapter! It's slightly longer than the previous ones. Enjoy my lovely myungjongers <33