Sungjong gasped, waking up with a start. He stared at the blue ceiling of their bedroom, his breathing gradually slowed down. Last night’s event was still so vivid in his mind. The confession. The kiss. It was like a dream.

And his heart…Sungjong slowly slid his hand towards his chest. He closed his eyes, concentrating. And then he heard it. Ba-bump…ba-bump…ba-bump. The faint beating, it was still there. Sungjong sighed in relief upon hearing it. He was so glad it wasn’t just his imagination. It wasn’t just a dream.

Sungjong heard a soft groan and light snoring next to him. He shifted onto his side, seeing Myungsoo still fast asleep. Sungjong bit his lip nervously. He still had not found the chance to tell Myungsoo about his current situation. He wasn’t sure how Myungsoo would react to it and he was scared.

Did this happen to other cyborgs too? Was it just him? What if people thought he was a freak? What if Myungsoo thought he was a monster? Questions, questions and more questions but no answer.

Moving closer to Myungsoo, he placed his hand on his cheek. Lightly drawing circles on it and rubbing it with his thumb. Myungsoo…everybody else in the world can hate him. They didn’t matter to him. But if Myungsoo hated him, Sungjong didn’t know how he would be able to keep going. That’s why he must keep this a secret. He couldn’t afford to lose Myungsoo now. Not when he finally knew Myungsoo’s feelings for him.

Sungjong was broken out of his thoughts when Myungsoo suddenly clasped his own hand in his. He held Sungjong’s hand against his face, kissing his palm.

“Touching me when I’m asleep? You’re more daring than I thought, Jongie.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Myungsoo” he countered innocently but his intentions were not as innocent.

Trailing his fingers along Myungsoo’s neck, he traced his collarbone and rested his hand on Myungsoo’s chest. Myungsoo shivered from Sungjong’s icy fingers. He quickly took the hand and swallowed hard. “So you want to play, huh?” He pounced unto Sungjong, attacking his lips fervently. Sungjong giggled between their kisses, pulling the covers over their heads.

--

“The gang is finally complete.” Sungyeol exclaimed. They were sitting at their usual table in the café for a late lunch. Howon and Dongwoo had been meeting Myungsoo and Sungyeol regularly just to grab food or coffee. But now they have a new addition to their team.

The 5 of them had agreed to meet at 11am for brunch but when Myungsoo and Sungjong didn’t show up, claiming that “something came up”, they decided to reschedule to a later time. Sungjong and Myungsoo finally appeared, at least an hour late, in front of an angry Sungyeol, who looked even angrier at their unkempt appearances, and the smirking YaDong couple. Shaking his head disapprovingly at their flustered faces, Sungyeol hurried them inside to grab their table.

“So…are you two…” Howon started, glancing at the couple sitting opposite him. Sungjong looked sideways at Myungsoo, unsure if he should admit their current status or if Myungsoo wanted to keep it a secret. Seeing no response from Myungsoo, he looked down, feeling slightly disappointed.

His head shot up in surprise, however, when Myungsoo suddenly grabbed his hand and held their interlocked fingers towards their three friends, whose eyes widened just as wide as Sungjong’s in shock.

“Yes. Sungjong and I are a couple.” Myungsoo replied confidently. He smiled at the blushing Sungjong. Myungsoo decided he wasn’t going to run away anymore. He wanted to use the time he had left to give his all to his most important person.

Sungjong felt his face heat up in embarrassment. He heard it again.

Ba-bump, ba-bump, ba-bump

The pounding in his chest that seemed to increase in its pace every time he was around Myungsoo. It rang in his ears. Does this happen to humans every time they are with their lovers? He clutched his chest and took deep breaths, hoping he could calm his new heart down.

He felt a warm hand on his shoulder and opened his eyes to see Myungsoo’s concerned ones watching him.

“Are you ok, Jongie? Do you feel sick?” Myungsoo put his own forehead against Sungjong’s trying to see if the boy had a fever. Cyborgs don’t get sick, do they? he wondered, not noticing Sungjong’s face getting redder and redder from the proximity. He pushed lightly against Myungsoo who just pulled Sungjong back towards him.

Howon looked away, drinking his tea rapidly. He felt like he was invading the new couple’s privacy from where he sat, feeling slightly embarrassed by the couple’s intimacy. Howon did hold hands with Dongwoo in public but he couldn’t imagine himself doing anything beyond that. Not when everyone else was going to stare at them accusingly and point fingers at their inappropriate behavior. Howon did, however, admire Myungsoo’s actions as the guy couldn’t care less if people looked or not.

Sungyeol glared at them, his face twisted in annoyance. “You lovebirds are making me lose my appetite.” he said, pretending to puke.

Myungsoo pulled away from Sungjong but not before wrapping his arm around his boyfriend’s shoulders. “Lee Sungyeol, just admit that you’re jealous I have a lover and you don’t.”

Sungyeol rolled his eyes at his bestfriend. “Oh yeah, I’m sooooo jealous.”

Howon shook his head disapprovingly at them, “You guys are so childish.”

Dongwoo just grinned widely at the scene. He was genuinely happy for Sungjong and Myungsoo. When he was first introduced to Myungsoo, he gave off a dark and depressing aura that seemed to even bring down his own optimism. Myungsoo was quiet, and moody and didn’t seem to care for anyone. And Sungjong, at that time, still didn’t understand the concept of love.

Even though it took some pushing and pulling, these two were finally together. Dongwoo had to admit, he was a little jealous at their open display of affection but felt happy for them nonetheless. What worried him though was when he saw Sungjong clutching his chest. Being “born” earlier than Sungjong, he knew more about his own structure and that cyborgs couldn’t get sick. So he became curious of what Sungjong was feeling at that moment that made him act that way.

“Woah.” Dongwoo’s eyes widened in amazement at the pulses he felt under his hand. This wasn’t his first time feeling a heart beat. He had heard it countless times every time he placed his head onto Howon’s chest when they embraced. But he was still amazed due to the fact that it came from a cyborg.

“Does Myungsoo know?”

“No….” Sungjong replied softly.

Myungsoo had just left the café awhile ago with Howon and Sungyeol, saying he had something to discuss with them. Dongwoo was currently keeping Sungjong company until they returned. Sungjong took this chance to tell Dongwoo his new discovery. He was relieved to have someone he could confide in. He hoped that Dongwoo, who he always looked up to, would be able to tell him what to do.

Dongwoo, however, was very puzzled. He wasn’t their creator so he didn’t know the extent of cyborgs’ development but Dongwoo knew that among all the cyborgs he knew, none of them had a beating heart. Truthfully, he was very worried for the boy. For some reason, it made him feel uneasy.

“I think you should tell Myungsoo. Maybe he can take you to the store where he bought you and get you fixed.” he urged.

“No!” Sungjong quickly covered his mouth, surprised at his own outburst. He suddenly felt tears pooling in his eyes. He looked down, not wanting Dongwoo to see his pitiful state.

Dongwoo was taken aback by the boy’s outburst. Sungjong was never the type to shout. Seeing him so emotional for the first time, Dongwoo knew there must be something wrong. He got up from his seat and took the one next to Sungjong, wrapping an arm around his shaking shoulders.

“What’s wrong, Sungjong?”

Sungjong wiped his tears roughly. He felt a lump in his throat and swallowed hard before he whispered, “I don’t want Myungsoo to hate me…”

“Why would you think that? Myungsoo won’t ever hate you.”

“Because I’m the only cyborg that has this…heart. It’s weird…being the only one that’s different from others. I’m scared.”

Dongwoo rubbed his thumb against Sungjong’s shoulder soothingly. He wiped the new flood of tears that poured down the cyborg’s face. “You know, Myungsoo changed a lot since he met you. He used to shut people out and just keep to himself but now he’s smiling. And a lot too! You did this, Sungjong. You changed him. I’m sure Myungsoo is willing to accept you no matter what.”

Sungjong felt his heart beating fast again at Dongwoo’s words. He knew that he and Myungsoo started out on rough edges at first but Myungsoo gradually warmed up to him and was now his lover. The thought of this made Sungjong feel extremely happy. But still…if he does get his heart fixed, doesn’t that mean…

“There’s something else, isn’t there?” Dongwoo asked, noticing Sungjong’s hesitancy.

“I…I don’t want a new heart. I want this one.”

“Wouldn’t it be dangerous to keep it though? I mean, we don’t know-“

“I know. There are risks, I know that. But this heart…it’s beating for Myungsoo, for the person I love. I don’t want to get rid of it. So, please, Dongwoo. Please help me keep it a secret for now. I promise I’ll tell Myungsoo later on but for now, please keep it a secret for me.”

--

“Where are we going?” Sungjong asked for the hundredth time, only to get the same response every time.

“You’ll know when we get there”.

They were led to a table at the corner of the dimly-lit restaurant. Small candles lighted each table. Sungjong watched curiously as the waitress poured the deep red liquid into his glass. Myungsoo never asked about a cyborg’s alcohol tolerance nor whether they could even drink alcohol. But knowing Sungjong’s recklessness, Myungsoo allowed him take a small sip before placing it near his corner of the table, making sure it was out of Sungjong’s reach.

As they waited for their food, Myungsoo told Sungjong all his embarrassing stories back in high school though most of them were Sungyeol’s since Myungsoo wasn’t crazy enough to follow Sungyeol’s tactics.

Sungjong discovered that Sungyeol was far more daring than he appeared to be. Sneaking out of the orphanage and dragging Myungsoo with him to grab late-night snacks. Climbing up trees to avoid being caught whenever he caused trouble. And even selling ographic magazines and videotapes behind their teachers’ backs.

Even though Myungsoo shook his head while sharing all the ridiculous things that he and Sungyeol did when they were young and wild, Sungjong could tell that he treasured every moment of it.

They were enjoying themselves so much that they didn’t notice they had been talking for a long time until the waiter informed them that the restaurant would be closed soon.

As Myungsoo started the car to head home, Sungjong couldn’t help but feel a little upset at how time passed by so quickly, wishing the night would never end. But after awhile of driving, he noticed that they were heading towards the other direction from their usual route.

He asked the same question before their dinner date. And again, Myungsoo kept his mouth shut tight, shaking his head with a huge grin on his face.

They stopped in front of a planetarium. Taking Sungjong’s hand, Myungsoo led him to the entrance.

“It’s locked.” Sungjong said but then saw Myungsoo dangling the keys, flashing his boyfriend a cheeky smile. They sneaked inside the building quietly, being careful not to get caught by the old security guard who was falling asleep at his seat.

They reached a large set of pearl white doors. Being going in, Myungsoo placed his hands over Sungjong’s eyes, blocking the boy’s vision.

“What are you doing?” Sungjong asked amusedly, trying to pry the hands off.

“You’ll see later.” Myungsoo led him towards the middle of the room and pushed him to lie down on something soft. He then removed his hands.

“You can open your eyes now, Jongie.”

Sungjong gasped at the sight. He was looking up to a star-filled sky that moved  animatedly around the room.

“Do you like it?”

“How- how-“ Sungjong couldn’t find the right words to say, still in awe from what he saw.

“Good thing Sungyeol has so many social connections. We can finally put it to good use.”

Earlier in the afternoon, Myungsoo actually took Howon and Sungyeol out to discuss his plans with them. He wanted to plan as many events as he could for Sungjong in the remaining time he had left, hoping the boy would only remember the good memories they had together. Howon suggested the star-gazing event. And luckily for them, Sungyeol asked a favor from one of his friends that worked in the planetarium.

Myungsoo pointed at a particular star that seemed like it was falling from the sky, creating a trail of white light.

“You see that? That’s a meteoroid. People say that our wish will come true if we see one of these.”

“Any wish?” Sungjong looked at him, hopefully.

“Yup. Should we make a wish, Jong?” Myungsoo linked their fingers together and closed his eyes, facing towards the artificial sky.

Sungjong, however, kept his gaze on Myungsoo. He wondered what Myungsoo wished for. Laying sideways with his head supported by his other hand, he watched his lover.

Longingly.

I want to become human.




-----------------------------------author's note---------------------------

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