Insook didn’t go to school on Thursday. She’d had a hard time falling asleep the night before and felt like hell when her alarm had rung that morning, but mostly, it was because she couldn’t bear the thought of having to face Rapmonster at school, or another day of V trying to cheer her up. So she’d told her parents she was sick, and her mom had agreed that she could stay home and rest for the day. She’d gone back to sleep after that, and only woke up again around 10am.

There were a few unread messages from Namjoon on her phone, but she just let them be as she went to fetch breakfast in the kitchen, bringing it back to her room to eat as she sat in front of the computer, watching anime. Around lunch time, her phone rang again, several times and she just stared at it gloomily, but finally decided to pick up.

[Where are you?] Rapmon’s text message read,

[I know you’re not at school.]

[Is everything ok?]

[I’m worried]

Her heart ached upon reading those mails. She knew he was playing her, but a part of her thought ‘could he really be worried about me?’

[I’m sick.] she replied, and put the phone down.

Prompt. Distant. ‘Good.’ She thought.

[Tell me where you live. I’ll bring you food]

Well, that wasn’t what she had been expecting. Was he seriously considering skipping class just to come take care of her?

[Don’t be ridiculous] she mailed back.

[I’m totally serious.]

[and if you don’t tell me, I’ll just get your address from the school office]

[What?!]

‘He can’t really do that… can he?’ the teenage girl doubted herself.

She thought he was just being brash, but a part of her really wanted him to come and play at being her knight in shining armor. She knew he was just taking advantage of her, but he didn’t know that she knew that… And, as much as she hated herself for it, Insook did like him. She liked him so much that she didn’t care. So in a fit of thoughtless bravery, she pm-ed him her home address; cursing herself for being an idiot for several minutes afterwards.

About a half-hour later, her doorbell rang. She sat up really straight on her chair, her eyes going wide in disbelief. ‘No way…’

She made her way to the door, in slippered feet and a pair of grey oversized sweats she wore as pajamas, and opened the door to reveal Namjoon standing there, in his school uniform, holding a white plastic bag that seemed to contain some sort of takeout.

She just stared at him.

“You don’t look that sick” he said, smirking at her.

She still just stared at him, emotionlessly.

And the she answered, “I’m not,” and just walked back into the house, leaving him standing there, puzzled.

He followed her in, closing the door behind him, and made his way to her room, where she was sitting in front of the computer, staring at the screen. He put the food containers on her desk and went to sit on her bed.

“Insook, are you mad at me?” he asked, his voice full of concern.

She ignored him.

“Come here,” he said, patting the bed next to him.

She looked at him briefly and returned her attention to the screen.

“Come on…” he pleaded, with his cutest puppy smile.

She turned to look at him and reluctantly changed spots after a while, sitting at far away from him as she could without falling off the bed.

“Insook, why are you acting like this? What’s wrong?” he asked, making her look him in the eye.

“What’s wrong is that I like you so much, and you are just using me and it hurts!” she wanted to scream, but she just shrugged.

He scooted a little closer and turned her face towards him. She stared back.

And then he suddenly kissed her; forcefully. It was her first kiss. Her first real kiss. And though her brain didn’t know how to react, her body did and she wrapped her arms around him; tentatively at first, and then with a stronger grip. He pushed her backwards on the bed and kissed her even harder.

She had always imagined that her first kiss would be sweet and soft and romantic. Not violent, hard and rushed like this. His hand slipped under her t-shirt, caressing the skin of her back and she moaned, but then he came up to the front a few moments later and she tensed up.

“Namjoon…”

“Come on baby, it’s okay…” he mumbled, placing kisses into the crook of her neck which made a million butterflies explode in her stomach.

“No… Namjoon, please…”

He stopped, looking down at her, propped up on his elbows. His cheeks where flushed, his eyes so intense.

‘What am I doing?’ she thought, and tore her eyes away from him.

“What’s wrong?” his throat was raspy, and he was panting slightly.

“I can’t… it’s too fast…” and then he sat back on the bed,

“Okay…” he finally said, uncertainly.

“I’m sorry…” she apologized, looking away from him.

“No, it’s fine.” he said, but he didn’t sound like it. He sounded kinda angry.

Insook cursed herself for stopping him.

“I should go,” he said suddenly, standing up.

“What?!” Insook’s eyes snapped back up towards him.

“Yeah, if I hurry I can make it back on time for 6^th period,” he said, getting up and straightening his uniform, “After all, I only came to make sure you were ok.”

“Oh…” she looked down again, disappointed.

“You should eat that…” he said, pointing to the take-out he’d left on her desk, and she nodded.

“You take care…” he told her, tipping her chin with his fist in a would-be playful manner, except that it seemed forced. And then he let himself out, as she just stood in the doorway of her bedroom.

She stood there a good long while after the door had closed behind him, and then she crawled back into her bed, burying her face into her pillow. She reached out for her phone and stared at the screen; she had a feeling it wouldn’t ring with Rapmon’s messages anytime again soon. She sighed, and instead, typed out a message to her best friend.

[Noonjie… I just did something really stupid….]

***

“YOU DID WHAT?!?!?!!?!!!!!!”

Soonja’s voice resonated across the entire house – which thankfully, was empty except for them at the moment. The two girls were in Insook’s bedroom; Soonja having rushed over as soon as her school had ended after receiving her friend’s cryptic phone message.

Insook had at least the good sense to look ashamed.

“WHY? WHY ON EARTH WOULD YOU DO THAT?!?” wailed the tall girl furiously, “Sookie…..”

Insook couldn’t say anything. She just sat there, staring at her blanket, looking as if she was about to cry. Her friend sat down on the bed next to her, reaching to hold her hand and speaking more calmly. “Sookie… the guy’s a playboy, it’s what they do…”

Insook let her head fall into the crook of her friend’s shoulder and let her pat her head.

“Then why does it hurt so much?” she whimpered.

“Cuz you like him….. He doesn’t deserve it, but you like him and you wanted to give him a chance… oh Sookie, I’m sorry I yelled at you…” said the pretty girl, soothingly petting her friend’s hair as she sobbed.

“it’s gonna be ok…”

‘No,’ Insook thought, ‘No, it’s not…’

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kyaaaah!!! there you have it! please don't hate me! XP