Chapter 19 – D-1

There was no class on Friday. Everything had been cancelled in preparation for the festival. Every class was busy setting up and doing last minute preparations, but Insook, having zero interest in her class’ little café, quickly eclipsed herself from after homeroom to avoid any kind of duty her classmates might decide to dump on her if they found her being idle. She walked around the school for a while but soon ended up at her favorite spot in the bleachers, seeking a little peace and quiet.

‘Why did I even come to school today??’ she wondered, before pulling out her Korean assignment and starting to work on it.

It took her a lot longer than she anticipated to do the reading and answer its follow-up questions, so she was surprised when she looked at her watch and it was already nearly 1pm. She hadn’t had lunch yet, but she’d snacked on some crackers earlier so she wasn’t really that hungry. She was debating just leaving school and going to get something to eat when she spotted a familiar shape heading towards her.

“There are you are.” said Rapmonster, climbing the few steps that separated them and sitting down beside her. “Hiding from your duties, are ya?” he smirked.

“Can’t put anything past you” she retorted, sarcastically, and he chuckled.

“Why don’t you come help me out then?”

“Aren’t you guys done yet?” she asked

“Not even close” he replied, shaking his head.

“Hmm…” she went on, thoughtfully, “don’t you think it would look bad if my class saw me helping yours though? School day’s not even out.”

“Didn’t stop you before…” he joked.

“You got a point…” she answered, slightly embarrassed.

He laughed. “Have you eaten lunch?”

She shook her head and answered “not yet.”

“Come on” he said, reaching for her hand, “I’ll treat ya, and then you come and help me. Deal?”

She looked at him, as if pondering her answer, and then reached out to the hand he was offering her and took it. “Ok” she smiled.

***

Since he was still only in first year, Jungkook didn’t have that much to do in the ways of preparation for the festival. All first years did were boring expositions of schoolwork in their homeroom, and helped out with their elders’ preparations, or their clubs’. Indeed, he’d spent most of the morning hanging out with V, Jin, and the rest of the drama club in the reception hall on the 5^th floor, but since he only had 3 lines in the whole play, he had mostly just sat there twiddling his thumbs for two hours. So after lunch, he’d decided not to come back and just casually wandered around the school, looking at what everyone else was doing.

Actually, he was looking for Jimin. His friend had been absent from the morning practices, and Jungkook suspected that he was busy practicing his dance with J-Hope somewhere. He’d tried calling him a few times, but always got the older boy’s voicemail, and the few messages he’d sent had remained unread and unanswered. He had a fleeting thought that maybe they’d gone to their usual studio to rehearse, but he’d seen Jimin at school before homeroom that morning so he thought he must still be around somewhere. That said, he’d checked everywhere and the dancing duo still remained elusive. He’d checked all 3 gyms, the auditorium, all the 2^nd and 3^rd year classrooms, as well as the sports field and the green areas behind the school, but no Jimin anywhere. Sulkily, the youth decided that he might as well return to the room on the 5^th floor where the drama club was having its dressed rehearsal.

As he climbed the stairs, he paused on the landing of the 5^th floor, an idea popping into his head. ‘What if…?’ he wondered, looking up.

He climbed the steps to the 6^th floor and made his way to the familiar room, his hunch growing stronger and stronger as he heard the music coming from the drama club room. He knew nobody should be in there, since they were all at rehearsal, so he popped his head in, and immediately smiled as he recognized the two familiar shapes, dancing in unison to a popular song. He stood there in the doorframe, watching them with a smile that split his whole face, bobbing his head to the beat, until Jimin, in the middle of doing a turn, noticed his presence and went “oh!” as he stopped.

J-Hope stopped too, wondering what was going on, and smiled when he saw the younger boy standing there. “Oh! Looks like we’ve been caught!” he laughed, flashing a heart-shaped smile at Jimin.

“Jungkookie!!” exclaimed Jimin in a whiny voice, “how long have you been here?? You weren’t supposed to see that!!!”

Jungkook laughed and walked over to the other two. “Too late…” he shrugged, sticking his tongue out, “so now that I’ve caught you, can I stay and watch?”

“No, no, no!” protested Jimin, “out with you!” he said, ushering him towards the door.

“Aww, come on!! I’ve got nothing else to do!!” complained the younger boy, resisting his elder’s shoves.

“Well, go home then” added Jimin, unwavering.

“Aww, come on…” said J-Hope, walking over, “the kid can stay if he wants to.”

“But Hobi-hyung…” whined the brown-haired boy, “it was supposed to be a surprise for Jungkookie…” he finished with an exaggerated pout.

J-Hope laughed, “Jiminie don’t make that face, it’s way too adorable.”

Jimin only pouted more fiercely and then threw his hands up in the air and exclaimed “fine! But don’t bother us!!” as he walked back towards their makeshift “sound system” to reset the song.

Jungkook saluted and made his way to their favorite couch, where he plopped down and dutifully remained quiet as they rehearsed. After a while, he pulled out his sketchpad and started drawing.

Over an hour passed until J-Hope called out a break. Jimin went to turn the music off as the elder boy threw a towel around his neck and padded over to Junkook. The youngest was deep in concentration and didn’t notice his elder peeking over his shoulder onto his sketchbook.

“Wow, that’s really good!”

Jungkook looked up, suddenly realizing the older boy was there.

“Jimin, did you know he could draw like that?” J-Hope called out as Jungkook blushed at being praised by his hyung.

“Yeah!” exclaimed Jimin, trotting over, “our Jungkookie is a great artist!” he grinned, “even some of his art is gonna be on display tomorrow!”

“Oh really?” J-Hope turned back to look at the black haired boy, who grinned in embarrassment, mumbling “it’s no big deal…”

“Psssh… what are you saying!” retorted Jimin, play-punching him, and Jungkook smiled.

“Say hyung,” he said, changing the subject and looking up at J-Hope, “do you think I could try it?”

“Try what?” asked the dark-haired boy, puzzled.

“The dance. I’d like to try it with you” he asked all embarrassed.

“Oh?” said J-Hope, surprised.

“Kookie, can you dance?” added Jimin, chuckling.

“A little, I think…” mumbled the youngest, “I’ve practiced by myself sometimes… I mean… I’m not as good as you…” he went on, looking at the floor, feeling kinda stupid.

“Ok then,” said J-Hope, getting up, “let’s see what you’re made of!”

Jungkook looked up hopefully and J-Hope gave him a wide smile. Then he looked up to Jimin, for confirmation and his friend just shrugged, so he jumped up, full of energy, and headed over to the spot where they had been practicing before.

“You do it with Jimin first and I’ll stay here and watch.” said J-Hope, standing by the music player.

The music started and both boys got into position. J-Hope let the whole song run through and surprisingly enough, Jungkook managed to follow Jimin with minimal mistakes, though he did keep glancing over at his friend to see if he was doing ok. When the song stopped, J-Hope pressed pause and started clapping. And laughing.

“Woaah… this kid…” J-Hope chuckled.

Jungkook might’ve said something, if he wasn’t so terribly out of breath.

“How did you do that?!?” asked Jimin, surprised.

“Well I’ve been watching you do it for the last hour…” replied the youngster, once he’d finally gotten his breath back.

“But still!! Waaah, our Jungkookie… you really can do anything, can’t you?!” Jimin’s face beamed with pride.

“Let’s try it again” said J-Hope, starting the music and walking over to Jungkook’s left.

The youngest looked like he was about to pass out but, not wanting to disappoint his hyung, nodded, and got into position. They did it again, and again, and again. By the 5^th time, there were no visible mistakes left in Jungkook’s performance, but by the end of the song, he just sprawled himself on the floor, panting loudly, shouting “Time, out! Time out!”

J-Hope laughed as he paused the music, “had enough?”

Jungkook only had enough energy left to nod, from his position on the floor.

Jimin lauhed, walking over and sitting down indian-style next to him. “Not as easy as you thought, eh?” he smirked, handing him a bottle of water. The youngest shook his head as he gulped the water down and Jimin chuckled.

“You’ve got a knack for it though,” said J-Hope, walking over and sitting with them, “if this wasn’t so last minute, I’d even ask you to join us.”

“Hyung, are you serious?!” exclaimed Jungkook, propping himself up, his eyes growing even bigger than they naturally were.

“Yeah but, like I said, there’s no time, and it would involve too many changes…”

“Oh, don’t worry. This wasn’t my intent when I asked you… I mean… I wasn’t trying to worm my way into your performance…” Jungkook hung his head, looking a little ashamed.

J-Hope laughed and ruffled the boy’s hair. “Of course not, kid.” And then he added, “Tell you what. How about we make a BTS dance sub-unit? All three of us? Together?”

“Hyung, for real?!?”

“Yeah, why not?”

J-Hope looked at them both in turn, and the huge grins he saw all around were the only answer he needed.

***

Somehow, Insook ended up staying at school, helping out til night time. Even Suga had gone home over an hour earlier, and the haunted house was nearly all set up. Insook had to admit, it looked pretty good, and part of her felt a small sense of pride knowing that her hard work had helped making it that way.

She and Rapmon were sitting on the floor, at the center of the nearly finished ghost house, painting a bunch of random objects with fake blood.

Around 7pm, a boy who was working on setting up the lights came over to them and said, “I’m gonna head out now. Are you guys ok finishing up?”

Rapmonster looked up at him and smiled, “sure thing Jaewon. Don’t worry about it.”

“Alright then,” said the boy. “Don’t forget to lock up when you leave!”

The pair of them worked in silence for a while longer. The only sound that of their paintbrushes dipping into the bucket of fake blood every so often.

“Insook….”

Rapmonster’s voice surprised her. She looked up at the sound of her name, but the blonde boy wasn’t looking her way. Instead he focused on the object in his hand, and his paintbrush going up and down on it.

“… Yes?” she finally asked, seeing as he wasn’t saying more.

“Are you still mad at me?” he asked, still not looking up.

“Hum…” the teenage girl really didn’t know what to say. “Why do you ask?”

He shook his head and kept on painting quietly. Insook returned to her task as well, slightly confused.

“I just wanted to say I’m sorry.” he said. “For what I did before. I’m really, really sorry.”

Insook looked up again, perplexed. “Ahh… it’s ok?” she tried to crack a smile, but he still wasn’t looking at her.

“No. No it’s not ok.” he said, shaking his head, “I was a huge douchebag to you.”

Insook didn’t understand why he was saying these things to her all of a sudden. But she didn’t say anything. After a while, he went on.

“I understand if you hate me forever.” He added quietly.

“Namjoon… I don’t hate you…”

He looked up at her finally, not saying anything, and then added, “You should.”

A few minutes passed in awkward silence. Insook picked up another piece and started painting it as well, not knowing what to say.

“I didn’t realize it at first, that it was wrong. You know?” Rapmon started, without prompting. Insook glanced at him but remained quiet.

“I’ve just been getting girls so easily, for so long, I just…” he paused and sighed, “I never really noticed or cared about anyone’s feelings before.” He added. “Until now.”

“…….. Why?” she finally dared to ask.

He looked up at her, gave her a half-hearted smile and shrugged.

“A lot of those girls… I mean… in a way… they were just using me too…” he said. “I know I’m not a good guy… I know it’s no reason to just…” he stopped halfway through his sentence and sighed, “I just… It was always just a game, you know? … and I never stopped to think about an innocent girl’s feelings because I’ve never been with an innocent girl before.”

He looked up at her but it was her turn to look down.

“But… how can you be with someone you don’t even like?” she asked, quietly, without looking up.

“You just…” he started, but then didn’t finish his sentence, seeming to realize something for himself. ‘Yeah, when did I start being like that?’ he wondered. And then he started remembering all the things he had done, and all the girls he had been with in the last 3 years. There were too many. And too many whose names he couldn’t even remember.

“Wow, I really am a jerk.” he stated, his eyes widening. Insook looked up at him.

“I don’t think you’re that bad…” she said, but so quietly she wasn’t sure if he even heard her.

“I wasn’t always like this you know…” he said, though he seemed to be talking to himself more than to her. She let him go on.

“I had a girlfriend in Junior High School.” He said. “She was a year older than me, and so beautiful…” he went on, “I couldn’t believe she even liked me…” he said, smiling as he remembered. “It wasn’t like now. I wasn’t Rapmonster, or BTS… nobody knew my name. I was just a nerdy kid, with a beautiful girlfriend whom I didn’t deserve at all.” He said with a wistful smile. “One day, she told me she didn’t want to date anymore. That I was too clingy. Too jealous. Too young.” He paused. “She dumped me. Just like that.”

“I’m sorry…” said Insook, but he didn’t even seem to hear her, lost as he was in his memories.

“After she broke up with me, I changed. I got rid of my glasses, changed my hair… got into Hip Hop… got cooler. I hooked up with her best friend, and when I saw how upset it made her, it somehow made me feel like I held some sort of victory over her. After that, it was just one girl after the other. I didn’t even realize. I was just young and stupid, and I thought it made me cool, but in reality, I just wanted to make her jealous.” he said with a sigh.

“I don’t really know when it stopped being about her. At one point… All the faceless girls just melted into one another and I just…? I dunno…” he sighed. “I guess I just became an somewhere along the way…” he chuckled.

“You’re not…” she said, wondering if it was what he wanted to hear, and he finally looked up at her.

“You don’t have to lie to me, Insookie” he said, flashing her a half-smile, and her heart caught in at the sound of him using such a familiar nickname for her.

“I’m just… I don’t even know what I was trying to say.” he added, shaking his head, “I just… I guess what I mean is… although my intentions were not good… I never really disliked you…”