Chapter 35 – Acting the fool

Finally, it was Friday.

Finally, the day they had been practicing for all this time was here.

When the teacher called V and Insook to the front of the class to perform their skit, a few people whispered and shifted in their seats. Nobody was expecting much since the previous teams had all been lukewarm at best, and those had been actual, full 4-people teams. In what possible way could these two actually entertain a group of teenagers already bored and almost ready to pass out?

V ignored them, strutting to the front of the class confidently, and started setting up desks and chairs for his set. Then he went to fetch a big eco-bag from under his desk and asked the teacher if it was ok for him to leave it outside, and she nodded.

They started their performance and. since they had rehearsed so many times, their lines came out easily, and with the actual intended emotions, so immediately, everyone in the class perked up. Their sketch was full of jokes and had the audience laughing several times. The funniest part of the whole thing was that, since there were only two of them, they had decided that Insook would play the main character – the transfer student girl – but V was going to play ALL the other characters; so he alternated between the host father, brother and teacher, changing his voice and demeanor for each and every one. 

V was perfect; and Insook even surprised herself with how well she performed, but the crowning moment of their performance was when the “girl” in their story was supposed to meet a friend to go shopping at the end… V ran out of the classroom and Insook stood there, pretending to wait for someone who was late and checking her watch several times. Then she turned towards the door and shouted in Japanese:

“There you are!”

The whole class turned towards the door, which opened to reveal Taehyung standing there in a girl’s school uniform and long blonde wig. Everyone burst out laughing.

“Oh, Lili-chan!” he exclaimed in a high-pitched voice, grabbing her hands together and looking at her apologetically, “I’m so sorry I made you wait!”

“It’s ok.” said Insook, trying hard not to laugh, “let’s just go.”

And linking arms together, they started skipping towards the door, closing it behind them.

The class erupted into cheers – so loud that the teacher actually had to shush them – and the pair came strutting back in, taking a rehearsed little bow at the front of the class while everyone cheered again.

They got the highest grade in the class, and felt pretty pleased with themselves.

Later, after the last class was finally over, V met up with Insook as she was packing her things up at her locker.

“Wanna go celebrate?” he asked, leaning against the lockers next to hers and giving her a cute look from under his long lashes.

She looked up at him and started giggling. “Celebrate?” she asked.

He nodded once, and then pushed himself off the lockers.

“Come on!” he said, grabbing her hand and dragging her away so fast that she barely had time to close her locker door before running after him.

“V!” she called out laughing, “Where are we going?”

“CELEBRATING!” he shouted, making quite a few people look up as they zoomed past them and past the school doors.

Turns out “celebrating” meant going to a cheap norebang in V’s neighborhood and ordering fries with cola. Although it wasn’t quite what Insook had had in mind, she soon found herself really enjoying it. She went through a repertoire of all her favorite girl group songs, while V sang everything from GG to hard rap, to trot. He had her in tears at one particular really old trot song, which he sang so passionately, and in such an over-the-top way, that there was absolutely no way to take him seriously. But this, she was coming to realize, was Kim Taehyung. This was who he was. Performer. Entertainer. Always “on”.

Well, not always. He had his moments, like when they were studying in the bleachers at lunchtime and he just slept quietly; or occasionally, when she caught him staring at her during class, and instead of turning away he would just smile even more brightly, before looking up to pay attention to the teacher again. Yes, there were moments when she thought she could catch a glimpse of his true self. Like now, as he was singing a pretty English ballad in a low, soft voice, with his eyes closed and no pretense.

“Wow, Tae…” she whispered as the song came to an end, and he looked up at her, not too sure how he should react, “your voice… it’s beautiful… wow…”

His face split into a huge smile and he jumped to sit on the couch next to her, on his knees, like a little kid. “Do you really think so, Insookie?” he piped up, with a huge eye-smile.

“Stop acting, I mean it!” she chided him, “You’re an amazing singer. You should do something about it!”

The boy’s eyes went wide as he dropped the childish gimmicks and registered her honest praise. He looked at her, right in her eyes, and for a moment, Insook thought he might lean in and kiss her, but then he turned away and sat down properly.

“Suga-hyung asked me to do a song with him,” he said, looking down at his hands.

“He did? V, that’s so cool!” she exclaimed, full of genuine enthusiasm, and he turned to look at her again, but then just shrugged.

“Suga-hyung is really cool though… I wish I could write and produce songs like him…” he went on, still not looking at her. “I can sing and I can act, but I can’t create anything at all…”

“What are you talking about?! V you’re so talented!” she exclaimed, putting a hand over his, “even if it’s not your own words, you can make people feel something when you express them. That’s rare.”

Finally he turned to look at her.

“Do you feel something when you hear my words?”

His eyes felt like they were boring into her soul; deep into her heart. Insook felt a sudden need to look away, but she couldn’t. Her heart beat so fast and she could only stutter, “I… I…”

He kept on looking at her, his eyes asking with all his heart what he knew she didn’t want him to say. But he kept quiet.

“I… I got to go…” she said quickly, turning away.

Taehyung’s expression changed in a heartbeat, the words being anything but what he had expected to hear.

“Huh?”

“It’s nearly 6, I… I forgot…” she stumbled on her words, trying to explain, get up, grab her things and control her heart all at the same time. “The study session… with Namjoon…”

V’s face fell, though he tried to hide it.

“Oh” he only said. He was obviously hurt, but Insook was surprised when he didn’t put up a fight. Surprised, and a little disappointed, somewhere deep down.

She paused, biting her lip as she flashed him a guilty look. Suddenly the lie seemed so stupid to her, but she had panicked, and it was too late to go back on it now.

“… umm… shall we go together?” she asked, awkwardly trying to sound light and cheerful.

“No you go… I’ll stay here some more, I think…”

“Oh… ok… well, how much should I…” she started, but he interrupted her.

“I got it, don’t worry.” he replied, along with an eye smile that would have fooled almost anyone into thinking that he was totally fine, so she nodded slowly.

“Ok then…”

“Ok”

“Bye…”

“Bye”

Neither of them moved.

Finally she shouldered her bag and headed for the door. She turned to give him one last look with her hand on the handle, and saw that he was already fuddling with the machine to pick another song to sing. She smiled sadly and shook her head before walking out the door.

As the door closed behind her, Taehyung dropped his nonchalant expression and tossed the machine away, slumping down in his seat and sulking as the background music kept playing the same promotional song over and over again.

*

Insook, like everybody else on the train, had her nose glued to her phone. She scrolled through the nonsense on her twitter feed, not really paying attention, but trying to distract herself from the situation at hand.

‘Not now… not now…’ she kept telling herself. As if she could control what her heart felt.

She definitely felt guilty about bailing on V. ‘I shoulda stayed there…’ she thought, for the hundredth time since she’d left the norebang. ‘I shoulda just…’

‘Just what?’ she thought, looking up as if replying to herself, ‘Just kissed him? Just said yes?’

She gave herself a little shake and looked out the window to realize that this was her stop, so she scrambled through the door, barely squeezing through before it closed behind her, and let out a big sigh on the other side.

She straightened up and started making her way towards the exit when she felt her phone buzz in her hand. She looked down, thinking – and half-hoping – maybe it was Taehyung, but frowned when she saw it was a text from Rapmon asking if she could come over tonight.

‘Not now… not now… not now….’

“NOT NOW!” she shouted out in frustration, and only realized that she’d spoken aloud when she saw a few people around her turn and stare as if she was crazy.

Insook’s shoulders slumped and she left the station feeling even worse than she had a few moments before. Once she got home, she nearly ran to her bedroom, turned her phone off and hid under the blankets. Hoping that maybe under there, her problems wouldn’t be able to find her.

She was wrong of course.

***

Jin walked down the stairs after having put his kid sister to sleep and plopped down on the couch. The TV, which had been left on, was playing reruns of a drama he’d already seen, so he grabbed one of the manuscripts on the coffee table, folded his legs under him into his preferred reading position, and resumed from where he’d left off.

He didn’t even get two pages in before the doorbell rang.

His head perked up, like a bird, turning to look at the door, and he wondered who it could be. Putting his book down, he walked up to the front of the house, pulling the door open to reveal Taehyung’s lanky figure on the other side.

V didn’t wait to be invited in and just pushed past him without a word, slipping off his shoes without even stopping, and walked to the couch before plopping down on it.

One would think that Jin should have been surprised, or even offended, by this behavior, except that it was such a frequent occurrence that the older boy only chuckled and closed the door, before meeting his friend back in the living room. What surprised him however, was that, instead of finding Taehyung chattering loudly or pestering him to make him food, Jin found the boy slumped on the couch, absentmindedly flipping through the TV channels with a depressed expression on his face.

“Hey kid, what’s wrong?” asked the older boy, pushing V’s legs away so that he could sit down next to him.

“Nothing.” answered the boy dejectedly, flipping through 3 different channels as he uttered the statement.

“Yah, will you stop that? You’re driving me nuts.” scolded Jin, snatching the remote control out of his hands and putting it on the table, then asking in a more friendly tone, “Taetae, what’s wrong?”

“I’m just the stupidest guy on the planet, that’s all” V retorted with a little sneer.

Jin’s eyebrows went up with his confusion as he wondered what the heck he was supposed to reply to that, but since V just sat there, glaring at the TV, he risked asking “… how so?”

V let out a dramatic sigh but didn’t answer right away. Then he spat, “I just keep trying and trying…. I’m splitting myself in 4 for her!! I’m doing what she said! I’m being good! I’m really trying! But !” and the he threw his hands up in the air and shook his head, “how long am I supposed to wait?!” and he looked at Jin with big round eyes, as if he could give him the answers he needed.

“Tae, I really have no idea wtf you’re talking about” replied the other boy, as nicely as he could, before adding, “I’m guessing this is about a girl?”

V nodded, looking away.

“Anyone I know?”

“Insookie.”

“Aaahhh….”

“I asked her to be my girlfriend” V stated, after a long pause.

“Wow…… and she said no?”

“No… well at first, yeah. But then… like… she asked me to wait… cuz… she needs to figure some stuff out… so I said I would… but…” and then he looked up to Jin, pleadingly, “but hyung! These things keep happening! That really make me think that she likes me! But then I move in and she pulls away and I’m just…!!!”

He’d gesticulated so much through the whole speech that now he was panting for breath, and Jin stared at him in quiet wonder.

“What do you think I should do?” asked the younger boy, looking pitiful.

“I have no idea, Taetae…” he answered honestly, and wondered why the heck everyone seemed to be coming to him for love advice.

‘I don’t even have a girlfriend!!’