Chapter 40 – Nothing Good

 

 

The next three days passed by in a blur for everyone. When she wasn’t at school taking tests, Insook was home studying; making up for lost time and trying to salvage her scores as best as she could. It was also a good way to avoid everyone, since she had no desire in having to deal with V and Rapmon, or even Soonja for that matter, who had questioned her relentlessly after the end of their day trip, and scolded her about playing both boys by not answering either of them. She’d seem particularly interested in pushing her into V’s arms, and Insook wondered if her friend wasn’t actually starting to like Rapmon as well; which was not a conversation she wanted to be having right now.

 

At school, if she saw one of them, she would literally just run away, and when she was home, she turned her phone off, so she wouldn’t have to deal with their attempts to contact her.

 

 

On the other hand, the boys were working non-stop. As soon as their tests were over (and they only had them in the morning) they would all meet up at the dance studio and start rehearsing together. True to his word, Hoseok had tried to keep the choreography as simple as he could, but he’d still gotten a  little carried away and the boys had a hard time keeping up with him. Rapmonster and Jin, especially, stayed up practicing til the wee hours of the morning every single day. But for some reason, they didn’t seem to mind. An odd and unexplainable sort of friendship started to blossom between the two guys who were polar opposites of each other; J-Hope and Jimin, especially, seemed to find it hilarious.

 

Everyone felt oddly driven and excited about their upcoming performance and was willing to put in the effort to make sure it would be a smash hit. This was something new for them – something they’d never tried before – and they really wanted to find out if it would succeed.

 

 

On Thursday, the teachers handed back the tests, and no one was surprised that they’d all done rather poorly, except for Insook, who had managed a passing grade for every class, and Rapmon, who had somehow managed higher scores than any of them even though he had barely touched his books over the last week. Not that Insook had talked with any of them to find out, she only discovered it when she had a look at the big board with all the students’ scores that was posted in the main entrance after the tests had all been graded. She was looking at it during lunchtime, and even ran into Jin while she was there.

 

“Oh, Insook, hello.” he greeted her politely and she turned to find him smiling at her prettily.

 

“Looking up Namjoon’s grades, I see.” he said, teasing her a little and Insook went bright red, trying to deny the fact.

 

“I swear that friend must be a genius…  none of us have had any time to study this past week…” said the boy, looking up at the board to Namjoon’s grades, which were all in the upper 80’s.

 

“You haven’t been studying??” exclaimed the teenage girl, and Jin pointed at his name, a bit further down, and she noticed that indeed, his grades varied greatly, going from 40 to lower 70’s, but mostly around the 50’s margin.

 

“Ouch.” she said.

 

“Indeed. My mom’s not gonna be happy… but for this event, I think it’s worth it.” he turned back to look at her.

 

“Oh yeah… the performance. I’d forgotten about it…” she mumbled sheepishly.

 

“You had? Tae’s not gonna be happy to hear that…” he said, his voice teasing again and Insook looked at him curiously. “He’s been talking about you a lot… I think he’s really excited to show you the final result.”

 

“You guys have been practicing hard?” she questioned him, avoiding the implications of his statement.

 

“Every day.” he nodded. “As soon as tests ended, we’d meet up at the studio and just practice for hours… it’s horrible!” he laughed, adding the last part as an afterthought.

 

“If it’s so horrible why are you doing it, then?”

 

“I’m not sure… but it’s fun.” he replied with a big smile, “Honestly, I’m just really bad at dancing… though I guess I’m a little better than Namjoon…” he paused to chuckle and she pressed her lips together, trying not to laugh as she imagined Namjoon trying to dance.

 

“Well anyways, we’ve been working hard. I think we can make it by Sunday.” he went on, nodding to himself, “You’ll come of course?”

 

“Aaah… yeah. Of course.” she gave him an awkward smile, unable to think of a good excuse to get out of it.

 

“Great.” He said, “Well, I have to go. But I’ll see you tomorrow! Take care!”

 

Jin gave her a little wave as he left and she stood watching him go, a little perplexed.

 

‘Tomorrow? What’s tomorrow?’

 

 

 

She didn’t have to wait too long to find out. On Friday, after the closing ceremony had ended, Insook stood at her locker, clearing it out before summer vacation and making sure that all of her summer homework was in her bag when Namjoon snuck up on her.

 

“Ah-ha!” he exclaimed, slamming her locker door closed in her face and making her jump back.

 

“Namjoon, wtf?!” she exclaimed, hand on her heart as she recovered from the shock and he just laughed.

 

“You’ve been avoiding me.” he scolded, making a ridiculously adorable face, and she was torn between feeling guilty and wanting to laugh.

 

“I’ve been avoiding everyone” she retorted, saving herself from lying, “I’ve been cramming non-stop, trying to make up for all the lost time hanging out with you’s caused me.” she replied snottily, shouldering her backpack and starting to walk towards the exit.

 

He fell into step beside her, hands in his pockets as he walked and asked, “Well now that it’s over, will you at least come and spend some time with us?”

 

“Us?”

 

“Yeah, we’re having a big party tonight at Suga’s.”  he replied nonchalantly.

 

“Of course you are…” she mumbled to herself, as if she shouldn’t be surprised.

 

Rapmon chuckled. “So come on, say you’ll come… you can bring Soonja too.”

 

“Namjoon…” she sighed, “your parties always end up being a huge source of drama…”

 

“I promise, no drama!!” he held her hand and she narrowed her eyes at him.

 

“Plus it’s a pre-emptive party for our performance on Sunday, since we’re all freaking the hell out, lol.”

 

“You? Scared?” she laughed.

 

“Come on, everyone will be there. It’ll be weird if you don’t come!”

 

“It’ll be weird if I do come…” she muttered.

 

“I’m not taking no for an answer” he said, stepping in front of her and crossing his arms over his chest.

 

She tried to go around him but he blocked her. She stepped to the right, trying to go around him but he blocked her again, so finally she stopped and gave him an exasperated look. “Fine! I’ll come.”

 

“Great!” he exclaimed, “It’s at Suga’s. From 10. You know the way.”

 

And then before she could add anything, he was already running back towards the school, waving back at her as he went.

 

Insook sighed and shook her head.

 

***

 

Insook immediately got swallowed by loud music and the electric atmosphere of a party already in full swing when she walked into Suga’s apartment. Just like the first time she’d walked through that door, dozens of people were crammed into the small space, laughing, chatting, drinking and dancing, and Suga was playing DJ in a corner. Had it really been only just over a month since that day? It felt like years to Insook.

 

Suga looked up and gave her a little half smile and a tiny head nod before resuming his work and she waved and smiled at him. Yes, so much had changed since then.

 

Her eyes scanned the room, looking for a familiar face and she immediately spotted Rapmon, who was deep in conversation with two guys she’d never seen before. She didn’t want to interrupt so she walked over to the bar to grab herself a drink.

 

“Here, have this.”

 

A cup full of brown liquid appeared in front of her, and following the hand it was attached to, Insook found Taehyung beaming at her. He looked like an overgrown little boy today; wearing a baseball shirt, with ripped up jeans shorts, and a snapback on his head which pulled his hair back away from his forehead. She noticed for the first time that he had really big eyebrows, and for some reason, the fact that his hair wasn’t all in his face made him look even more attractive than usual. She took the cup and brought it to her lips, burying her whole face in to hide her blush.

 

“Cola again.” she said, looking up at him with a little smirk, and he nodded, smiling at her again.

 

“Doesn’t this remind you of something?” he asked, fussing around with the bottles to fix himself a drink.

 

“What?”

 

“This is how we met.” he turned his head slightly to give her a little smirk, before pouring some vodka into his glass.

 

“Oh, of course I remember that!”

 

V chuckled, “you couldn’t finish a beer back then…”

 

Insook made a sulky face that made her look even more childish and adorable than usual and he laughed out loud, before ruffling her hair like a child, which made her even angrier.

 

“Ya!” she snapped at him, only causing more laughter.

 

“How about now?” he asked, raising an eyebrow.

 

“Now what?”

 

He shook the vodka bottle he held in his hand and looked at her pointedly til she understood. Insook looked at the bottle, then at him, and then, with a determined expression, extended her cup towards him.

 

“Oooh… our Insookie is feeling brave today!” he chuckled, pouring a generous amount of the clear liquid into her cup before resealing the bottle. “Cheers!” he clinked his glass to hers and they both took a drink – Insook making a face but managing to keep everything down.

 

“Ooooh! You guys are here!!”

 

Rapmon appeared behind them suddenly, throwing an arm around each of them as he laughed.

 

They chatted for a little while, but 2 minutes hadn’t even passed that he was called off again, by some other person wanting his attention, and they were left to their own devices again.

 

“Aahh, he’s always so busy at these parties…” sighed Insook, watching him go.

 

“Well, he’s the host, so you know…”

 

“Hmm… so how’s it going anyways? I heard you guys have been practicing hard?”

 

V nodded eagerly and launched into a recollection of how they’d spent the last week rehearsing like crazy, and recording two more songs and barely sleeping. At some point during his tirade, Soonja appeared and came over to greet them, giving Insook a big hug in greeting.

 

“How was work?” asked her friend.

 

Soonja waved a dismissive hand and said “Just give me a drink… it’ll be better in 10 minutes.”

 

V laughed and handed her a cup with a mixture of his own design and she gave him a thumbs up after taking a tentative sip.

 

They headed over to the couch and started chatting, and eventually V left to go dancing, and the girls stayed chatting on the couch, occasionally giggling at him as he’d wave at them from the “dance floor”.

 

“He’s so cute” stated Soonja, looking at V who was rocking out to the music, bouncing about and trashing his head.

 

“Umm…” Insook nodded, a silly smile on her face as she stared at him throw his fist up in the air and shouting the words of the song.

 

“Have you made up your mind yet?” asked her friend.

 

“About what?”

 

Soonja tilted her chin towards the dance floor, indicating Taehyung.

 

“Ahh….” Answered the short girl, looking down at her drink. “I’ve been trying to avoid thinking about it…”

 

“You said you’d decide after the tests… it’s after the tests.” said the tall girl, pointedly.

 

“I know but…” Insook sighed and brought her cup to her lips, only to notice that it was empty. “Oh, I need another drink!”

 

“Sookie…”

 

“I’ll be right back!” promised the girl, as she got up.

 

At the bar, she ran into Jimin and Hoseok, who were bickering playfully and greeted her like an old friend. Hoseok offered to mix her another drink, and she accepted gratefully and started to chat with them, forgetting that Soonja was waiting for her on the couch.

 

“Will you guys have a dance-off again today?” she asked at one point in the conversation.

 

“Oh that’s right, we did that before!” exclaimed Hoseok, “That’s how I met our Jiminie for the first time!” he added with a fond smile and a wink in the other boy’s direction. Jimin gave him an embarrassed smile and Insook laughed. ‘These two are so cute together, they almost look like a couple.’ she thought.

 

“Should we?” asked the older boy again, raising an eyebrow at his dongsaeng.

 

“Hyung, can you handle it? You’ve had a lot to drink…” teased Jimin.

 

“pppshhht!”

 

Hoseok made a face at him and then left to whisper something to Suga from behind his turntable. Suga glanced at them, smirked and gave him a little nod.

 

The music stopped abruptly, to be replaced by another, smoother, pumping R&B dance track, as the dark-haired boy walked back towards them. He pointed a finger at Jimin and said, “You’re on.”

 

Jimin grinned as Hoseok’s extended arm snapped back towards his body with a little wave. Then he extended his other arm in a smooth flow, and gave a little twirl, he kept dancing, going backwards into the crowd, and soon a circle opened up around him to cheer him on. After about a minute, Jimin joined him and started popping, and then they both moved together in such harmony that Insook couldn’t bear to look away. It was mesmerizing.

 

The two boys didn’t come back to her after their little performance, surrounded as they were by well-wishers, and Insook suddenly remembered about Soonja, but when she made her way back to the couch, her friend was nowhere to be seen. Insook looked around, but couldn’t spot her friend, so she just shrugged and plopped on the couch, sipping on her drink.

 

 

Several drinks later, she found herself sitting on the couch alone again when Rapmon plopped down next to her.

 

“Ahh, I feel like I haven’t had a minute to myself tonight!” he complained, throwing his head back in mock exhaustion.

 

“Too bad for you, mister popular.” she said, giggling as she poked him on the chest with a finger.

 

Rapmon raised an eyebrow at her and asked, “Are you drunk?”

 

“Quite possibly” she replied, and then suddenly added, “Oh, I like this song!” before bouncing off the couch like a spring. But before she could go anywhere, he quickly grabbed on to her wrist, holding her back.

 

“Stay.” he ordered.

 

The boy was looking at her with such authority in his eyes that it startled her into a brief moment of sobriety. But it dissipated as quickly as it had come and she turned away again, trying to shake her arm loose from his grasp. Rapmon didn’t let go, but he did rise from the couch so he could stand next to her and make her look at him. He finally dropped her arm and took a step closer so that they were standing only inches apart. She turned towards him but he was so much taller than her, her eyes only hit chest level.

 

“Sookie…” he whispered in a voice that turned her insides to Jello.

 

“Not here….” she managed to mumble, refusing to meet his eyes.

 

“Why not? Are you embarrassed to be seen with me?” he tilted her chin up, giving her a little smile, and though her heart dropped in her chest, she managed to retort, “Hey that’s my line,” scrunching up her nose in a cute little face that made him smile.

 

“I know” he smirked. “Come.”

 

He grabbed her wrist again and pulled her through the crowd as she stumbled behind him. Suga’s room was supposed to be off limits to party-goers – as stated a big scary sign in red marker on the door – but that didn’t seem to apply to Rapmon.

 

With the door closed, it was suddenly much quieter in the small room, the music muted to a dim hum, making the open space around them seem quiet and heavy. There was a brief moment of silence as they both looked at each other, and Insook felt a sudden wave of nervous apprehension hit her as he took a step towards her.

 

“No! Stay there!” she exclaimed, extending her right arm in front of her as a sign for him not to come any closer.

 

He laughed, asking why.

 

“Nothing good ever happens when you’re close to me,” she replied in an overly serious tone, shaking her head vigorously, which only caused him to crack up more.

 

“Nothing good?” he repeated with laughter in his voice as he tried to take another step.

 

“Ah-ah!” she exclaimed again, in warning, putting her arm out even further.

 

The blonde boy stopped and crossed his arms over his chest, looking at her with a mocking smile on his face.

 

“My kisses are not good?” he asked with fake offense, corking an eyebrow at her.

 

“No. I mean, yes! I mean, that’s not what I mean!” she exclaimed, and she punched him in the chest but it basically had no effect except to make him chuckle more.

 

“Hey, watch it there, you’re turning into Soonja…” he teased, and she looked up at him, unimpressed.

 

“Insook, why are you fighting this?” he asked, his voice a low, y whisper as he slipped his arms around her and held her loosely.

 

“I don’t know…” she mumbled into his chest, which had somehow appeared in front of her without her noticing. With her ear against it, she could hear that his heart was beating pretty fast.

 

“You don’t like me… you’re just playing with me… I don’t like what you’re doing to me… but I like being in your arms like this…” she said, with the brutal honesty that being drunk often brings.

 

He chuckled a little. “I should’ve gotten you drunk from the start.”

 

She looked up and scowled at him and he just laughed more.

 

“Insook, you should know I like you by now.” he said, knocking on her head softly with his fist.

 

She pulled back a little, letting him drop his arms “You mean as a friend.” she said after a while.

 

“Yeah, as a friend.” he answered. “But I… I mean, I wouldn’t mind… if you wanted to be more...”

 

Insook looked up at him, her eyes slightly glassy as she stared into his dark black eyes, and then, suddenly, she snapped.

 

“You wouldn’t mind?!” she shouted, surprising him as she pushed him away.

 

“Insook, wtf?!” he asked, totally confused by her behavior, but then changed his approach, trying to calm her down, “Look, you’re drunk, maybe this is not the best time…”

 

“This is not because I’m drunk!” she exclaimed, smacking his hand away. “I’m so stupid… I had a stupid crush on you… and whether you realized it or not, you just kept fueling my fantasy by flirting with me but… I don’t think I want to be with someone who just ‘wouldn’t mind’ being with me…” she finished venomously, throwing the door open and storming out.

 

“Insook wait, that’s not what I meant! You’re twisting my words!” he chased down after her, but there were so many people out that he quickly lost track of her.

 

“!” he shouted, punching the wall and making a few people turn around.

 

 

 

A hand caught her wrist just as she’d stormed out into the cool night air, and she spun around, ready to yell at Namjoon to off, but the words died in when she saw that it was V who was looking down at her, his eyes full of concern.

 

“Oh…” she only said, her face and shoulders drooping as if she’d lost all the fight that had been in her.

 

“Want me to go beat him off for you?” he offered, with a little smile, and she had to laugh. The mental image of V trying to punch Rapmon to defend her honor seeming so ridiculous.

 

“You don’t need to do that… he didn’t do anything bad… I’m just tired…” she sighed, wishing that she could just be in her bed, close her eyes and pretend that none of this had ever happened.

 

“Let me walk you home then.” he said, walking up to her.

 

“No it’s okay.”

 

 “Really, it’s late. I don’t like you walking alone in the dark.” he went on, intently, and the look on his face made her smile. It was full of concern and worry, and so at odd with how childish his outfit made him look.

 

She shrugged, too tired to argue, and turned to start walking towards the big boulevard that she knew would take her home if she followed it long enough. He fell into step next to her without a word, and they walked side by side in silence for several minutes. After a while, without saying anything, Taehyung took her hand and interlaced his fingers with hers. He was surprised when she let him, and they kept walking the rest of the way like this.

 

It took over an hour to get to her house.

 

When they finally got there. They both stopped in front of the building, and he waited for her to turn and look at him. When she did, staring at him silently, he simply bent down and placed a soft little peck on her cheek.

 

“Goodnight, Insookie.” he said, in a soft, kind voice, and a small, somewhat sad smile. Then he turned around and walked off in the direction they’d just come from.

 

Insook just stood there watching him go as he walked away; with no drama, no flashy childish behavior, just his shape growing smaller and smaller as she stared at his retreating back.

 

She stood there for a good 5 minutes, waiting for him to turn around. For once, she wished that he’d run back and do something crazy. But he didn’t. He just quietly walked away.