Chapter 13

The kiss was way too gentle. It was barely a kiss, more like a brush against her lips. Taeyeon’s lips were too soft and too warm. It left her wanting more, a need to press Taeyeon closer to her. It was almost insane how good of a kisser Taeyeon had become.

“Listen to me, Fany. I never cared for what others are saying about you. They can say anything about me, about you, about us. It doesn’t bother me. I only want to hear the truth from you.”

“I am really sorry…”

“For…?” Taeyeon pressed on, knowing she was one step closer to breaking down Tiffany’s walls.

“I am going to hurt you if I tell you the truth.”

“You have already hurt me yesterday.”

Tiffany huffed in frustration. “This is not how things are supposed to be. You are supposed to be angry at me and pour hot coffee on me. Why are you like that?”

Taeyeon only let out a cheeky smile. “So…what happened?”

She shook her head. “Save your smile. By the time I am done, you probably wouldn’t be smiling. Taeyeon you need to know that I am a mess. A ing mess from head to toe.”

Taeyeon simply waited patiently for her to continue.

“I was in first year of high school when I met the cutest guy ever, or so I thought. He was charming, very charming. I fell in love with him almost instantly and he became my first boyfriend. At first he was really nice, buying me dinners and bringing me out for movies. I was, of course, head over heels with him.”

“And then…?”

“And then happened. He got sick of me and cheated on me. Boom. Went into his dorm one day to see him half with a completely girl on a bed. I swore off boys from that very day onwards.”

Taeyeon lets out a soft chuckle. “Good choice.”

Tiffany continued, ignoring how unexpectedly steady Taeyeon was. “And then I started dating girls. On and off, here and there. I would admit that it was fun. Till I met you.” She breathed heavily, feeling the nervousness all the way to her toes. “Things that I found fun were not that fun anymore. Drinking, partying, late nights. Suddenly they don’t seem to have the same sort of attraction to be anymore. I hate you for this. But I hate myself more.”

Tiffany was really scared now. When was the last time she had been completely honest in a relationship? She deliberately initiated the breakup for very selfish reasons. She did not want Taeyeon to know the really ugly truth about her. Better she leaves Taeyeon than have Taeyeon walk away. But to hell with the past Tiffany. The past Tiffany was a . her.

“But as Sunny would say, a leopard never changes its spot after all. I lied to you. I cheated on you. I told you I was going to finish up my project but the truth was that I attended a party behind your back. I told you I missed our date because I overslept but the truth was that I got wasted and woke up on another girl’s bed. See what kind of a I am?”

Tiffany watched as Taeyeon’s relaxed expression turned something completely unreadable. It was almost blank. Was it anger? Was it sadness? Was it disappointment? She really could not tell.

But it was a somewhat familiar sight. It was the exact same expression she had five years ago when she saw her boyfriend curled up in bed with another girl. She finally understands why Taeyeon’s expression is unreadable.

It was the worst combination of disbelief and disappointment mixed with sadness and anger. The most painful blend of emotions.  

She watch Taeyeon clench her fist and shook her head. Now that’s the look of total disappointment.

“Now you know what sort of person I am. I am a mess. And you deserve someone much better than me.”

“…”

“Isn’t this ironic? I am doing to you what he did to me years ago. And I am just going to keep hurting you. You don’t need someone like me in your life. You’re a great person, Taeyeon. “I thought I could cover up a lie with even more lies. But whenever I see how sincere and genuine you are, it make me feel like a terrible person. My mom’s right, it is time for me to stop treating people as if they are disposables. Now you know why I can’t do this anymore. Not to you.”

There was a long, long silence as Taeyeon struggled to maintain her composure. The fact that Tiffany had slept with other girls came as no surprise to Taeyeon. But the shocking revelations of her cheating while in a relationship with Taeyeon came like stabs into her already broken heart. Behind this seemingly composed and confident Taeyeon belied a nervous Taeyeon that was hurting a lot from her first relationship and was struggling to take it together.

“I feel so stupid, Fany. I knew you and your girls. I have heard the stories, but…” She was choking from the tears that she was trying so hard to hold back. “But never in a million years would I have thought you would do this to me…I am so stupid.”

Tiffany then has to go through the torture of hearing Taeyeon trying hard to hard in her tears and ultimately being unable to control her tears.

Tears streamed down her cheeks as she continued, “I am just not sure if I can forgive you anymore…”

She took off as fast and as far as her legs could possibly carry her, leaving a Tiffany slumped on the chair thinking about the scars that she had left on Taeyeon.

==

It was nearly three weeks since the confrontation. Life went on as usual (or did it?), with Taeyeon resuming her life just as perfectly as she had done in the past. Working hard on her assignments and acing all her tests.

Tiffany, on the other hand, was not quite the same. 

Avoid. Avoid. Avoid. Avoid at all costs. She knew Taeyeon’s timetable by heart, which meant that she could coordinate her lunch schedule, walk through the correct corridors, and go home at the right time to make sure she avoids Taeyeon.

She no longer partied, drink, or hang out with anyone in particular after school hours. She just did not feel like socializing anymore.

She missed Taeyeon. The little chin dimple right above her chin whenever she smiles, her gentle touches, her voice. Basically anything and everything Taeyeon. She had never felt that way for any other girls. But then again, Taeyeon isn’t just one of “those girls”.

A breath of fresh air, a ray of light. That’s what Taeyeon was to Tiffany. And now that she had lost Taeyeon, she feels it more than ever.

“Sis, why aren’t you going out these day? It is rare to see you home on a Saturday night.”

“Mind your own business.”

“Meh. I was just trying to be nice here. You’re so sensitive lately.”

“Shut up”

“What happened to the last girl? Over? I thought you two were doing quite well.”

“We broke up”

“Why?”

“I am sick of her. I am better off without her anyway.”

“Sure, sure Sis. Whatever you say. You’ve been mopping around at home for the past few weeks. Not sure who you’re trying to kid.”

“You rude brat.” Tiffany got off the sofa and threw a cushion towards the general direction of her nosy sister. “What do you know”

“I know you still love her. If you still love her, then you should go for her. Better to die trying than to not try at all right? I mean,”

Tiffany knew her sister never made more sense than this. Her heart probably wanted Taeyeon back more than she was willing to admit to herself. Probably? Plausibly? Possibly?

But shouldn’t the pressing question be whether Taeyeon wants her back?

a/n: I am almost finished with the story, probably gonna release another 2 chapters over this week + 1 bonus chapter if I am up for it. At this point, I want to thank everyone for reading and commenting. Thanks. Heartskipper was originally a one shot (you will know if you are an old reader), which I expanded into what it is today. Not the best story, but it was fun writing it.

Heartskipper was never meant to be a serious/angsty story. I meant it to be lighthearted fluff for easy reading. I hope I at least did that. 

But I just want to clarify something before I release the remaining chapters. Having an innocent/childlike character trait does not equate to weakness. Sometimes it is this exact trait that allows them to press on with things that other people would have long given up on. I have never wrote Taeyeon with the intention of making her a "weak" character. The Taeyeon I had in mind is meant to be charming, like a breath of fresh air. Someone you have never met but wish you had. The Tiffany I had in mind is a lot more complex than Taeyeon, very much like many of us. Bears scars, doesn't know how to deal with herself and meets a carefree soul like Taeyeon.