ARC TWO

cantabile
Origin: Italian
In a singing style. In instrumental music, a style of playing that imitates the way the human voice might express the music.

DISCLAIMER: The personalities and opinions of these characters do not represent those of actual idols themselves, the Juilliard students, the New York Philharmonic, or any of its employees. The Juilliard School is not responsible for the accuracy of information.

The Fifty-Second Measure

Thursday: April 22, 2021

Graduation is one month from today.

It's already dress rehearsals for the Pops Orchestra final concert for this year, meaning that it's out last rehearsal together as an ensemble. The musicians are abuzz with mixed nervousness and nostalgia. For me, this is only my third concert with the Pops Orchestra since The Ring Cycle meddled with our schedule. For those who have been members of the Pops Orchestra since the beginning, this is their nineteenth concert. Jeongyeon, Momo, Nayeon, Jackson, Sowon, Yerin, Mark, Junior, and the rest of the fourth-year members were comparing graduation gowns and some handing out commencement tickets to the younger members. Sparkles set in their eyes whenever the seniors talked about graduation.

"I think you need to give the underclassmen your last words since this is your last concert here", Maestro Ishii told Jeongyeon from the front.

"Eh?" she glanced at her confusedly, "But we still have a month until the actual graduation."

"Please, Jeong", Maestro Ishii begged, "Just a few words of inspiration for the underclassmen to raise their spirits tonight."

Jeongyeon gave in, setting down her mallets and moving towards the podium. She grips the sides, hands shaking as to hold back whatever feelings she meant to spill out, "Umm... hey guys! I don't think I need an introduction since you all know who I am."

Pleasant faces sprouted around, though Jeongyeon's head was pointed towards the ground. I've never seen her like this.

"Let's see..." Jeongyeon began with the same nervosity. "So... yeah. This is our last rehearsal together and with regard to our hectic schedules and The Ring Cycle, we haven't been able to make much music together this year. I feel guilty for not being able to make time for us, especially since Mina and a handful of freshmen joined our ensemble this year. I'm sorry for that."

The auditorium fell silent and many faces fell at the sight of Jeongyeon's outward remorse.

"I-I mean, if it wasn't for you guys, I wouldn't even be here", she stifled a stutter, willing her body not to ache, "My friends and I only joined the Juilliard Orchestra to watch over our other members like Mina, Sana, and Chaeyoung. Especially since Reina and them—"

So that's why they joined the Juilliard Orchestra.

My heart began to pound, knowing that Jeongyeon and the others sacrificed their personal time to watch over the three of us. Now I feel guilty.

"I'm sorry, you guys. I digress", Jeongyeon recollected herself, "Anyways—"

"Hold up", Jihyo commanded in a loud voice, calling for our attention, "This will not be the last Pops Orchestra concert in history."

"Jihyo, what are you—"

"Because I'm going to take the helm next year", she announced passionately, abandoning her seat and moving towards the podium where Jeongyeon is standing, "You created this Pops Orchestra to bring together all divisions — from music to dance to drama — and create a sense of unity within the student body with our shared love for popular music. You've uplifted so many people, and I'm not going to let your legacy die."

"You're going to be okay leading by yourself?" Jeongyeon asked.

"Jihyo won't be alone", Sana suddenly sprung up from her seat, standing boldly, "I'm going to help her too!"

Why the hell am I getting goosebumps?

Jeongyeon was about to tear up, and it might be the first time I've seen her shed a tear. My heart gave a heavy, stirring lurch at the idea of Sana and Jihyo intensely declaring to carry on the Pops Orchestra's traditions for a dear friend. 

"Maybe I should help them too", I announced to myself.

"What did you say, Mina?" Yerin asked in a high, demanding tone.

"Yerin, don't—"

"Everyone! Mina has something to say!" Yerin hollered and of course, all eyes would fall on me.

"I..." my nerves fired, making my fingers quiver over the keys and holes my bassoon, "I want to help Jihyo and Sana manage the Pops Orchestra."

"Oh my goodness, Mina. Are you serious?" Jihyo beamed so wide that her face could split into two for her enthusiasm.

"Y-Yeah, of course!" I nodded with full force, "It's the least I can do for everything you guys have done for me."

There was cooing all over the auditorium, and Yerin had to swing me in for one of her bear hugs.

Sana, on the other hand, had a teasing smile splattered on her face, "You're going to have to learn how to talk louder first."

"HEY!" I cried.

But it still wasn't loud enough for her standards. "Not enough, little duck. Keep in mind that you're singing soon as well."

"You shut your mouth", I grumbled. Everyone laughed and Maestro Ishii just grinned.

"Thus it is official that Jihyo, Sana, and Mina will continue the operations of the Pops Orchestra for the next season!", Jeongyeon continued, face finally relaxed as she pulls Jihyo for a brief hug, "Let's get ready, everyone. The people outside are waiting to hear our sound."

The Fifty-Third Measure

"Break a leg, Mina!" Yerin smacked my as she made her way to SinB.

"Uh... yeah!" I lagged. 

It's been a month since I last performed on stage. When I walked out from the left wing and to my seat on the second platform, the noise pollution hit my ears. The rapid clapping emitting from the audience, the fine-tuning of instruments, the wafting chatter — everything was bringing about my sensitivities. I had to tuck my hearing protection into my ears before warming up on my own instrument, which felt weird.

Maestro Ishii and Concertmaster Jackson Wang made their customary entrances, a flutter of seemingly hormonal teens squealing at Jackson. They're from the pre-college division. It took nearly a minute and Eunha's scolding slap to get Jackson to sit down in his seat.

"I can't believe that this is my last performance with the Pops Orchestra", Nayeon sighed over to me and it reminded me that Jackson is a fourth-year too, and those girls are wailing because it's the last time they'll ever see his handsome face.

Graduation always had this notion of finality to it — the notion that it marks separation; from the friends that you've made in the past four or more years, from your seemingly happy-go-lucky life, and from the dreams you thought would come true. Reality kicks in, and it kicks in hard.

And these are the themes that the Pops Orchestra aims to highlight tonight.

For La La Land, Dahyun switched from double bass to bass guitar, Nayeon varied between clarinet, alto and tenor saxophone, and Jeongyeon hopped onto the eight-piece drum set next to Eric Nam, who took over the timpani for her. Many of the songs require more than a chorus for the voice parts, but we couldn't recruit such a large amount of vocalists; we only used a handful of our own orchestra members for the parts. Nevertheless, despite the rusty rehearsal sessions, our ensemble managed to pull off today's rendition beyond our previous expectations.  

Minyoung, Yuju, Jihyo, and our newest member, Yoo Yeonjung, covered the female voice parts while Woozi, DK, Seungkwan, and Choi Youngjae covered the male voice parts for an invigorating Another Day of Sun and an intoxicating Someone in the Crowd. Then Minyoung expertly switched back to the piano for Mia & Sebastian's Theme, her playing as graceful and refined as always. Eunha and Jackson sang Lovely Night (with a key change to suit their vocal ranges) as an acclaimed duet in their own right, all amidst an opulent lighting and an exhilarated crowd. I've always known that Eunha can sing pretty well and has a light soprano voice, but it just came to mind that Jackson has potential in his voice as well.

Planetarium is one of my favorite pieces in the La La Land repertoire. The sweet echo of woodwinds represent the stars in the deep blue sky, celestial and dreamlike. Whenever I hear this musical sequence in my head, it puts me to sleep as if I were a child being tucked into bed. The last time I was tucked into bed as a kid, I was probably four or five years-old. The cold rush of competition and the reality of shattered dreams set in my head before I was in my adolescence. Some Juilliard kids have yet to face that reality, whereas others have experienced having their hearts broken and hopes crushed, but they all share an awareness of the real world. This is usually the fear that comes before graduation. 

City of Stars came after the eclectic Summer Montage. There are no vocals here; Minyoung's piano takes the lead in this contemplative piece. Stars allude to a changing point in someone's life — a fitting theme for the graduates. Stars are like heavenly bodies protecting the world, ensuring our well-being and promising advancement in our lives. We often associate stars with dreams, particularly the dream that we desire to form into reality. That's why we have titles and phrases such as "rising star", "stardom", "starstruck", "reach for the stars", etc. 

Eventually came Audition, also known as "The Fools Who Dream". I set my bassoon down on its stand, removed my harness, and made my way to the center stage. The lyric sheet was not in my hands; I didn't need it. The words just hit too close to home for me.

My aunt used to live in Paris.
I remember, she used to come home and she would tell us these stories about being abroad.
And I remember, she told us that she jumped into the river once. Barefoot.

She smiled...

But for some reason, I was still trembling when I began the opening monologue. I stuttered, my hands were shaking, and my face grew pale. My anxiety spiked before I could sing the actual song. I had a fear of crying, of breaking down in front of three thousand people. 

I don't have an aunt that lived in Paris and shared stories with me, but the last two lines remind me of someone: Chaeyoung, who jumped metaphorically. She was a girl who dreamed big and never gave up on her art, but others dared to crush those dreams before she could realize them. Unfortunately, that might be the obstacle that Jeongyeon, Momo, Nayeon, and the other graduating students will have to face.

"You can do it", Jihyo mutters from her first viola seat and it's slightly assuaging.

I can't give in. I’ve studied the notes and their shape. I’ve spent hours infusing the song into my bones.

Once again, I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. I knew that my voice was only going to last for so long, at least to my ears. 

Leapt without looking
And tumbled into the Seine
The water was freezing
She spent a month sneezing
But said she would do it again

The tone of "Audition" is simultaneously optimistic and melancholic. It’s a hopeful song. It's about never giving up on your dreams. You have to chase what you believe in and you make that venture for as long as you can withstand your beliefs. 

Here's to the ones who dream
Foolish as they may seem
Here's to the hearts that ache
Here's to the mess we make

The melody unfolds and the piano accompaniment returns. I glanced at the ceiling for a moment, envisioning stars.

She captured a feeling
Sky with no ceiling
The sunset inside a frame

She lived in her liquor
And died with a flicker
I'll always remember the flame

That idea of never giving up holds a lot of sadness and heavy-heartedness. You go through one heartbreaking audition after another without an answer of when you’re ready. You’re not there yet; you have a long way to go. Just like the stars, your dreams are still far away and you don’t know how long you’re going to be stuck in this state of gloom. You might never even get the chance to chase them because they seem so distant. It’s kind of a bittersweet feeling, knowing that you’re putting your heart into your craft, but also suffering as you travel on the path that holds your dream. Sometimes, the dream becomes too far to be within reach and you wither away before its achieved.

Here's to the ones who dream
Foolish as they may seem
Here's to the hearts that ache
Here's to the mess we make

And oftentimes, there will be things that hinder you from achieving your dream.

The woodwind and brass sections become more lyrical and as the bridge starts, the piano is emulating faster arpeggios and everything starts to feel poignant. Now I really have to sing louder. Here comes the crescendo, building up with more and more divinity until—

Oh no. I feel dizzy.

She told me:
"A bit of madness is key
To give us new colors to see
Who knows where it will lead us?
And that's why they need us"

The lyrics tell us that it is important to hold that dream. It's very dramatic and very intense. It requires a lot from my voice.

I can't give in.

So bring on the rebels
The ripples from pebbles
The painters, and poets, and plays

The trill of a flute serves as the last sprinkle of magical dust, and then it dies off.

Just keep singing, you're almost there.

And here's to the fools who dream
Crazy as they may seem
Here's to the hearts that break
Here's to the mess we make

Reality sets back in and I'm back onstage. All at once, the concert hall is spinning around me in excruciating billows of sensation. Then I momentarily lose my hearing in my left ear. I'm breathless, unbalanced, and feeling the need to throw up. I can't in so much air without thinking of puking. This is probably a sign that I too, am becoming a dreamer.

Maybe this acoustic neuroma will be the last of me.

I trace it all back to then
Her, and the snow, and the Seine
Smiling through i—

My god. I feel sick.

One hot breath in and I can't even finish the rest of this piece. It just comes to show that I've been becoming progressively weaker. 

For the rest of the concert, Yerin ends up backing up my ineffectual despite the average reed that she's using. We're not even halfway through the entire concert, I thought, keeping my head down. So much for perseverance.

The Fifty-Fourth Measure

There's a thirty-minute intermission between the first and second halves of the concert, giving me a bit of extra time to prepare for the next half of the concert. But first things first, I need a quiet area where I can actually hear my own voice. I have no clue why the bathroom is always my first destination during performance breaks. Maybe it's because there's nobody else here and I can have some peace to myself. 

I feel kind of ty. No — I feel extremely ty right now, especially after having messed up on the senior's last concert with the Pops Orchestra. This crushing and aggravating disappointment is circulating within me. I didn't want to acknowledge how sick I feel, but I had to accept it as a fact. After this concert and the Juilliard Orchestra's concert this Saturday, I'm going to have my surgery and eventually, I'm going to lose most of my hearing in my left ear for good.

Oh my god, Mina. Stop sulking. You still have to perform in the second half.

I resolved myself to crack open my folder containing the score to the Kingdom Hearts soundtrack that Dahyun assigned for us to perform. But as the second half drew closer I was becoming increasingly fearful, imagining the next round of tinnitus or the next dizzy spell.

The door creaked open and it made my heart jump. I spun around after hearing Yerin's loud voice following it.

"Minaring!" she exclaimed and her voice cracked, "You left your bassoon unattended."

"Don't bring it in the bathroom!" I said firmly, still hanging over the sink in frustration.

"Where do I leave it then?" 

"I don't know?" I said sharper than I intended, "Give it to Jeongyeon?"

"You're okay, right?" Yerin asked, my instrument wobbling in her hands.

"Yerin I'm—" I started with a shocked expression before continuing, biting my lip at the unease I must've caused her, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean that. I'm being overdramatic. I'm fine. I'm actually fine. I promise that I'll be fine. I just need more time." 

"I understand", she nodded, "You're under a lot of pressure right now. But I'll just have you know that you performed beautifully tonight, especially with your singing solo. You have such a soft tone when you speak, so I'm surprised by how well you managed to project your voice onstage."

I sighed when she pointed out the volume of my voice, "Thank you."

"Wait a minute. Sana told me to tell you something", Yerin paused, speechless and lost for a few seconds before remembering, "Ah! Now I remember! Sana wants you to meet her at the front entrance. Apparently, she has a surprise for you."

"If it's another foot massage, I swear to god..."

"What?" Yerin tilted her head and amusingly smiled, eyes wide open in curiosity, "She touched your feet? How did it feel—"

"Ugh! Never mind!" I stressed before mellowing down, "What does Sana want?"

"Dunno", Yerin just shrugged, "But this doesn't involve your feet at all. I think she just has something to tell you."

"Fine, I'll go", I closed my music folder and handed it to Yerin, "Can you give my bassoon and my music folder to Jeongyeon while I'm gone?"

"No problem", she nodded, "I suggest you hurry before intermission is over."

I straggled backstage and through the long corridor leading up to the lobby of the Alice Tully Hall, the milky moonlight projecting through the glass walls, the noise pollution clogging my senses. There were guests loitering around while waiting for the second half of our concert, and they're noisier than the crowd that we receive at Juilliard Orchestra concerts. To intensify this feeling, before I stepped outside, the walls couldn't even obstruct the obnoxious blaring of sirens and car horns on West 66th Street and Broadway. My earplugs were useless.

It's New York City, after all.

Yerin was wrong; Sana was nowhere to be found. I know exactly what she's wearing today: my lacy black dress by Michael Kors and my black Louboutin stiletto shoes. She's also wearing silver hoop earrings and I believe that she left her hair down too. 

I speed-walked down 66th Street in my high heels, dodging tall pedesterians, pinching my skirt with my fingers as not to slip on the silky fabric of my black concert dress. In a sitting, I passed by The Juilliard School, the Juilliard and SAB cafeteria, and the NYC - Riverside Library. Still no Sana.

Yerin, what the ? I don't see Sana.

Then my phone vibrated in my pocket as I was heading back to the Alice Tully Hall. 

[Jung Yerin, 9:10 p.m.] Sorry Mina ;;;;;; Sana is actually at the Lincoln Center Plaza xD

Are you kidding me?

Panting with hands down on my knees, I stopped in my stride to take a breather. Music was sounding from a random young bystander's iPhone.

In this chilly weather, I then sprinted down Broadway and rounded off the corner of West 65th Street. My fingertips are frostbitten and my limbs ached from sitting down for too long. I'm positive that there were blisters building around my feet once I descended down Hearst Plaza. For the first time in my life, I'm actually itching to get my hands on Sana's British foot cream. My feet could really use them once I retu—

"MINA!"

I swear to god. Someone is calling my name.

"Mina!"

I removed my earplugs and jerked my head around to catch the voice. A diminutive girl was standing in front of the centre's fountain and bright lights emitted from the three surrounding venues, casting a golden glow on her soft features.

Oh my god. It's Chaeyoung.

No wonder why I couldn't recognize that voice. It was Chaeyoung's, and she doesn't talk too much. I bet she couldn't fully hear herself call my name. Her brown hair grew a little past her shoulders and she too was wearing a long black dress and black ankle boots. She's a lot skinnier than before too, and it worries me a lot. At least she's here and she's safe, and at least she's smiling, to the point where her dimples are showing.

"MINA!"

"CHAEYOUNG!"

Neither of us vouched for a staring contest. As soon as I recognized Chaeyoung, we started running towards each other and leaping into each other's arms. My head was no longer spinning, but my heart was pounding heavily in my chest. A rush of combined relief and ecstacy washed into my eyes and the next I knew, I was crying not out of pain, but out of pure joy. I cherished this moment, hoping that it would never end.

I had to release myself from the embrace to communicate with her, "I've missed you."

"Oh my god, Mina. I'm just so happy to see you again", her hands were trembling, "It was a strong sense of "us" versus "them". The people were not nice, and the nurse called me attention-seeking for my anxiety. You have no idea how badly I wanted to leave the...." 

"The what?" Chaeyoung was using gestures that I weren't familiar with.

She spelled it out for me with her signs, "M-E-N-T-A-L I-N-S-T-I-T-U-T-I-O-N."
 
Chaeyoung proceeded to elaborate on her experiences in the mental institution. Not only did Chaeyoung undergo emotional trauma, such as being humiliated by the nurses, but also physical trauma. The staff members drew blood from her in the middle of the night, which instilled her newfound phobia of needles. They kept misreading where the veins in Chaeyoung's arms were, so the needle dug into her skin more than once. Then she was issued the wrong prescription and had to get her stomach pumped again. Chaeyoung's parents are aiming to sue the asylum. 

I could see tears flowing down Chaeyoung's cheeks and she sweated heavily. She holds that smile to stay strong, but I'm still bothered by her story. Chaeyoung and I stop hugging and we look into each other's crying eyes once again. l let off a deep breath before say— I mean, signing anything. 

I gestured, "When did you come back?"

Chaeyoung held up her hands and laughed, "Yesterday. Sana didn't tell you?"

"The hell? No", I stiffened.

I guess Chaeyoung was the "surprise" Yerin was talking about.

"Jeongyeon and the others had planned the Pops Orchestra repertoire before they announced it to you guys, so I got to study my parts while I was in the institution. Dahyun gave the score to me before the opera festival", Chaeyoung giggled before reaching for her music folder in her bag.

I can't believe that nobody told me about Chaeyoung's return.

She tucked her music folder under her arm, "I've been itching to make music with you guys for a long time. I miss having mallets in my hands."

"What are we waiting for?" I grinned, holding out my hand. Chaeyoung was flustered and this time, she was the one who was blushing.

She stifled a laugh and held my hand, which sent an electric trill down my chest. I didn't think that Chaeyoung would be the first to make me feel so giddy, but it feels so good. Seeing her smile, her passion, her love for the arts — it's so refreshing to feel Chaeyoung's presence again.

The Fifty-Fifth Measure 

The second half of the concert was a lot better than the first. What great timing it is to have Chaeyoung rejoin our ensemble. Everything would have been incomplete not just without her affectional playing, but without her existence with the rest of the orchestra. 

"You ready?" Chaeyoung indicated before squeezing my hand.

I just nodded, sliding my hand out from under Chaeyoung's and wrapping it around the boot joint of my bassoon.

The second half of the concert is centered on friendship. I've never played any games from the Kingdom Hearts franchise nor do I intend to, but Dahyun selected these pieces for a reason: they project ideas that resonate with many of the orchestra members. We performed a medley of ten soundtracks from the game including Daybreak Town: The Heart of x, Destati, Treasured Memories, The World of KINGDOM HEARTS, Fate of the Unknown, Threats of the Land, Heroes and Heroines, Vector to the Heavens, Wave of Darkness, The Other Promise, Let the Darkness Assemble, Night of Fate, and Hand in Hand. But there are three that stand out to me — Dearly Beloved, Passion, and Hikari.

Dearly Beloved is the very first piece in our program. Dearly Beloved does not simply signify love in the sense of a relationship with a significant other, it's about the love shared between precious friends; dear friends. They are the people that you cherish; that you want to hold close to your heart and protect. Minyoung's piano unravels into resplendent sincerity, echoing powerfully throughout each and every surface of the Alice Tully Hall. Chaeyoung's wistful vibraphone gives off a magical, yet somber effect.

The rest of the ensemble take the backdrop together, reveling at how beautifully our distinct sounds blended together. The pianist is the leader, the strings are the best dancers, the winds are the best vocalists, the percussion are the best visuals.

This is how music is supposed to be played — with intricate care and boundless affection.

"Play each note with precision and pay attention to the dynamics", my mom mom asserted, "Don't be so driven by your emotions. You must never do anything to change the composition because in competitions, the judges will assume that you don't understand the piece nor the composer."

Passion came second-to-last.

The horns dominated this piece, especially Sana. Ferocious and impetuous, undeniably passionate. It swept everyone off their feet, some literally.

Passion is essentially an intense emotion, a compelling enthusiasm or desire for doing something. However, this particular song has been interpreted in many ways. I was internally confused looking at this song at first glance, but then somehow, everything began to piece together.

Utada Hikaru, a singer and songwriter who provided her voice for Kingdom Hearts songs, and the staff intended for this song to communicate with the audience on the emphasis of nostalgia, deliberating on the details of the past, present, and future. Another critic sported that Passion seeks out childhood memories and that time will introduce the child to a “new world”. One critic believed that Passion highlighted on "hope" more than "sadness". Contrariwise, another critic found weakness and strength simultaneously.

Another critic sought Passion as a song that resembles a emptiness; somebody with practically no passion and is seen with no purpose. Having a piece of your vitality scooped away and displaced was a major motif in the Kingdom Hearts series. Dahyun indicated that the “Nobodies” in the game were very insecure about their existence. She dissected the lyrics from “Sanctuary”, the english counterpart to “Passion”:

(So many ups and downs)
My heart's a battleground

"My heart's a battleground" invokes struggle for the Nobodies become whole.

(I need true emotions)
(I need more affection than you know)
(I need true emotions)

"I need true emotions" speaks of the Nobodies seeking their hearts. This notion augments the "I need more affection than you know" line. The Nobodies want to have emotion and communicating affection to the Nobodies aids them to “feel” and develop their character. Nobodies and Hearts never completely lose contact; there's a constant drive for these elements to reconnect. Hence, the title Passion. A nobody is made up of the memories and personality left over, but it can still feel the presence of it's heart, no matter how far away it is.

"I-I'm just so sorry for being you know, a judgmental to you guys in the past. You guys are the friends and the family that have been missing throughout my twenty-one years of life. Thank you for giving me the birthday party that I never had. Thank you for making me smile, making me laugh, pushing me but not letting me fall. Because of you guys, I stand tall."

Hikari was the last piece in this medley.

Individual bows in hand, Dahyun, Sowon, Tzuyu, Momo, Jihyo, and Yuju make eye contact with each other to follow the lofty notes of the two governing violinists, Eunha and Jackson. Chaeyoung, Jeongyeon, BamBam, and Eric Nam are flexing their wrists before preparing their sticks. Choi Youngjae nods at Umji with his tender gentleness, wordlessly ensuring that she's going to be fine and that she'll overcome her brewing anxiety. Nayeon's eyes smile as she gazes upwards into Sana's eyes, who is mouthing words of encouragement from the row behind us. 

"Mina", Yerin whispers, holding out her hand in front of me.

"What are you doing?"

"We're in this together!" she exclaimed.

"Yeah", I breathe, lightly removing my hand from Yerin's eager grasp so I could hold onto my bassoon.

Hikari is Japanese for "Light", a universal force in the Kingdom Hearts universe. If Passion was the dusk, then Hikari was the dawn.

A reviewer stated that the lyrical content discusses themes of mystery and daily life actions; he furthered believed that the song's lyrics is an open interpretation, due to its lack of major characteristics and identified philosophy and religion as examples. The focus switches to other ideas such as existential problems, finding your place in this world, understanding your emotions, and locating an individual's position on a scale from "absolute good" to "absolute evil". Finding light in darkness is a theme commonly interpreted in Hikari.

"The light known as you finds me in the middle of the night", is one of Sora's most famous quotes. No matter how far apart you are physically, you'll be always be together. SinB and Yerin are sharing smiles as they play. Tzuyu and Dahyun are beaming simultaneously from their sections.

Studying our past helps us act on our future; that’s what finding light in darkness means. Every group exhibits their own behaviors and they are handed down from generation to generation. Those behaviors are contrived by society and the events surrounding that group. By understanding these events, we can discern why people act the way they do. We can use our knowledge to potentially predict people’s future actions as well.

It also means that we have our friends behind our back to uplift us and we can guide each other through darkness. Even if we’re separated by place and time, we’re inseparable through our hearts. Friends will stick by you even when he gets to know you really well. A true friend thinks of you when all others are thinking of themselves. A true friend walks in when the world walks out.

They say that distant hearts, when rejoined as one, may find the light within.

And true friends may even introduce you to a world you've never anticipated on visiting.

Utada as well as Shimomura, the composer to the Kingdom Hearts soundtrack, would be delighted to listen to the unparalleled harmony of ninety musicians staggering the crowd with their immaculate unity of sound. Hikari opens up a radiant universe of light and harmony. The strings are full and mellow, making the woodwinds sound more savory. The woodwinds are emotive and lyrical, providing the strings with more power. The brass are euphonious and breathtaking, amplifying and hyping up the percussion section for their massive moments. The various drums and cymbals are groundbreaking, blending beautifully with the immense brass and supporting them after their tremendous rips in the sound texture.

Everybody is separated by section, but we remained connected through our hearts.

I'm very grateful to be a part of an ensemble that prides themselves on being a tight-knit group and bringing joy to other listeners with our individual unity (yes, a paradox). I'm looking forward to leading the Pops Orchestra with Jihyo and Sana next year.

BONUS (Blog Entry Number 13 12)

JUILLIARD ADMISSIONS BLOG

Birthday Parties 
Written by: Son Chaeyoung — Second Year, Percussion Major

Hi, everyone! It's Chaeyoung again.

I'm sorry for having not posted in a long time. My schedule has been hectic, but today I get a break. Why? Today (4/23) is my birthday.

I just recently received a text from my mother asking me what I was going to do on my birthday, especially since we live in New York City now. Birthdays back at home were wild west, mermaid-princess, or Harry Potter-themed and usually involved dripping streamers around the house, devouring cake with sugary icing, and a makeshift swimming pool in the backyard. When I was older, I would just hang with Sana and Jihyo at Japantown to eat decadent crépes (San Francisco has some bomb- crépes) and mess around with the photo booths at Pika Pika. 

Last year, when I was a freshman at Juilliard, I was too stressed from cramming for juries to even hold a birthday party. Now a bit more experienced, I've learned to manage my time better so I could have free time every now and then.

I read a couple of comments from one of my friend's "Weekends in the City" blogs. One pondered how Juilliard kids hold parties. Another wondered if Juilliard parties even exist. There's a common stereotype about our student body practicing twenty-four-seven with little time for leisure, but that's not entirely true. Even we're aware of the state of our physical and psychological health so because of that, we allocate time to let loose as well. You can still be a Juilliard student and have a life. We still stay on top of our work so we deserve a break, right?

For my twentieth birthday, Jeongyeon and the others planned on holding a party in the dorm lounge with the Pops Orchestra members. I don't live in Juilliard's residence hall but we had to use the space because my apartment isn't large enough to squeeze in ninety people. Heck, the lounge itself can't accommodate half of our orchestra. We had to relocate to the student lounge at the Office of Student Affairs — a larger facility. The lounge is already supplied with games, books, computers, a television set, and a scatter of cozy chairs.

A cheese fondue station and a chocolate fountain were set up alongside other delicacies. My birthday cake was coffee-flavored with espresso buttercream and a white chocolate ganache. Alcohol wasn't allowed because I'm still not of legal age.

Also, thank god there was no alcohol, or else Jeongyeon would have to drive twenty people back to their own homes. Dropping off twenty intoxicated adults throughout the five boroughs of Manhattan would be an extreme pain in the . Actually, you don't want to drive in New York City in general. I was actually supposed to get my driver's license a long time ago, but I've forgotten how to drive since I moved into the city (public transportation is where everything is at!). Mina and Sana don't even know how to drive. Back in San Francisco, my dad tried to teach Sana how to drive in the Inner Sunset District. She panicked and ran a stoplight. Never again.

You didn't have to get drunk to have a good time. Uno, Mario Kart, and Monopoly ascended from Jeongyeon and Momo's repertoire of conventional party games. The most memorable part of the day was "Truth or Dare". Sana and Mina acted as my translators for the game.

I don't want to go into too much detail about our "Truth or Dare" match without the permission of the players, but I can tell you that it was a blast (albeit a little on the inappropriate side). Mina's private teacher was involved (again), as well as Jackson, Eunha, and Momo's private teachers.

At the end, we watched Carol, one of my favorite movies of all time. It was Mina's first time watching it and she cried a river. I held Mina in my arms even though I'm smaller than her. More accurately, I back hugged her. I've always known that Mina was the sensitive type, but the movie had her stirred. I can't tell you why she cried or else I'll spoil the movie for those who didn't watch it. I highly recommend watching it!

I sincerely want to thank the members of the Pops Orchestra for giving me a place to be loved and to be myself. I've been going through a lot of rough patches in the past couple of weeks so when I returned to New York to find out about this birthday surprise, I was very touched. I believe this party connects to the idea of friendship that we displayed during last night's concert with Kingdom Hearts. I can't stress enough how important it is to have a support system in such a competitive environment. 

Characters