ARC ONE

cambiare
Origin: Italian/Latin
To change

DISCLAIMER: The personalities and opinions of these characters do not represent those of actual idols themselves, the Juilliard students, the New York Philharmonic, or any of its employees. The Juilliard School is not responsible for the accuracy of information.

The Sixty-Ninth Measure

Monday: November 23, 2020

Today is my first Juilliard Orhcestra rehearsal since I've been discharged from the hospital.

The musicians are abuzz as Sana and I shuffle into our seats and Chaeyoung makes her way to the uppermost level on the Alice Tully Hall stage. right behind the brass section. Chaeyoung was right. There was an empty seat next to me, which would soon be occupied by Jennie Kim.

"Ahem! I have an announcement", Maestro Gilbert clears his throat, "Thanks to the success of our precedent concerts, our orchestra has been invited by the Musikfest committee to perform at the eminent Le Festival de musique d'hiver de Paris or in English, The Parisian Winter Music Festival. We will be standing on the same stage as celebrated orchestras including but not limited to the Bavarian Radio Symphony Orchestra under Daniel Harding, the Munich Philharmonic with Valery Gergiev, the Vienna Philharmonic with Gustavo Dudamel, the San Francisco Symphony Orchestra with Michael Tilson Thomas, the London Symphony Orchestra with Simon Rattle, the Royal Concertgebouw Orchestra with Daniele Gatti, the Boston Pops Orchestra with Keith Lockhart, the New York Philharmonic with Alan Gilbert, and the Berlin Philharmonic with Kirill Petrenko."

"The concert will take place during our winter break", Kai adds, "Which means that we will be departing for Paris at 11 a.m. on December 21. Please prepare the necessary items and documents needed for travel, as the Juilliard Orchestra cannot be fully responsible for transportation."

Maestro Gilbert continued, "Unfortunately for most of you, you will be missing Christmas and New Years for this event. Decide immediately if you would rather take the opportunity to go to France and perform or if you'd rather stay home and spend time with your family."

The young musicians in the room sulked, disappointed at the dilemma that this festival has caused for them. Not being able to spend Christmas and New Years with your family is a valid reason to be discontented at. Chaeyoung exhaled silently, looking down in adversity. For me, I'm actually relieved about missing those holidays. I don't have to see my relatives, which means that I don't have to deal with my swollen-headed cousins. 

"Man", Mingyu let out a pout that was enough to make Jun slap him upside the head, "I'm not going to see my family for two weeks. At least for you, Mina, you get to see your parents since they're members of the New York Philharmonic."

"Dammit", I cursed softly.

"So, what are we playing?" Reina asks impatiently.

"I was just getting to that", Kai mutters with a tinge of irritation, "Two pieces this time. Ravel's Piano Concerto in G with a guest pianist and Sibelius's Fifth Symphony. Our featured soloist for the piano concerto will be a Juilliard alumni who graduated not too long ago."

Sibelius Five — another beautiful, tear-jerking symphony with a horn-heavy finale. And Ravel — an exquisite, magical piano concerto.

"Guest pianist?" Shuuka's eyes lit up in curiosity, "Who?"

"Seo Joohyun", Maestro Gilbert answers.

I know who Seo Joohyun is. Also known as Seohyun, she's a piano and composition prodigy who graduated from the same high school as my cousins, Minami and Juri Takahashi. When Seohyun was seven, she wrote her first piano concerto that earned her a first place trophy from the distinguished Toru Takemitsu Composition Award. When Seohyun was thirteen, she finished her first symphony that the United Nations Music & Environment Initiative used for one of their campaigns. But most marrkedly, in her final year at Juilliard, she composed Le Cygne Noir for Solo Bassoon and Orchestra, the concerto that moved audiences worldwide and brought home two Grammy Awards and Classical BRIT Awards for the both of us. Seohyun is the most fantastic person I've ever collaborated with — she bears an imagination that transcends many creative minds and a love for her craft considered so profound, that professors at the Juilliard School coined her the nickname "The Aristotle of Music."

"Because of her packed schedule, Seo Joohyun won't be rehearsing with us until the day when we arrive in Paris", Maestro Gilbert made clear, "But in the meantime, I have another fine addition to our ensemble. A brilliant clarinetist who had finished studying abroad in Europe."

Oh lord. Here she comes.

The double doors of the Alice Tully Hall swung open to reveal a slender woman with piercing eyes, her dark brown hair kept straight and bangs swept to the side. She wore a sleek red bustier dress and black cardigan, cream colored purse slung on her arm. Even her makeup was enticing.

"My name is Jennie Kim", she grins, her skin illuminating under the lights of the concert hall, "It'll be a pleasure working with you all."

"Your seat will be next to Mina Myoui — the principal bassoonist", Kai points out.

"Mina Myoui is here?" Jennie's previously composed expression fluctuates to eagerness and it spooks everybody in the ensemble, including me.

Especially me.

Jennie loses her cool and she starts advancing towards me, extending her arm out as she clasps my hands and shakes it rapidly, "Holy . It really is Mina! Good god, you're so beautiful up close with your glowing skin, gleaming eyes, glistening red hair, and godlike body proportions. Don't even get me started on how gorgeous you look in that off-shoulder sweater dress and knee-high leather boots."

"Umm..." the clarinetist is showering me in compliments and my nonfunctioning self does nothing but blush.

"Jennie, sit. We're about to start rehearsals", Kai orders.

The girl complies and sets her instrument case on her lap, assembling and unsheathing her clarinet like a finely polished sword — a pricey Leblanc Bliss. Jesus, it's better than the model that my mom plays. Then she plays one of the smoothest B-flat scales that I've ever heard.

Rehearsals commence with the first movement of SIbelius Five and for the longest amount of time, I feel Jennie's fervent gaze biting into the nape of my neck whenever the bassoon solo came up. It's even more painful than my prevailing headache.

"Five minute break!" Maestro Gilbert declares then he leaves the auditorium to grab a coffee.

As I was about to remove my neck strap and rest my bassoon on its stand, Jennie pops up from her seat and shouts in my ear, "MINA!"

"OUCH!" my bassoon's bell knocked against my head, "Don't scare me like that!"

"Whatcha doin' after rehearsals?" Jennie asks.

"I don't know? Practice some m—"

She didn't even let me finish my sentence, "Do you want to grab dinner with me later tonight? Methinks that you didn't eat yet because you're a woodwind and you didn't want to mess up your double reed. My treat."

Dammit. She's offering me free food.

"You sure?"

"I want to get to know you better!" Jennie offers.

The Seventieth Measure

Tuesday: November 24, 2020

Pops Orchestra rehearsals had ended past midnight and Jennie Kim picked me up from the entrance of the Alice Tully Hall. We headed to a restaurant entitled Cafe Fiorello for late dinner, which was just a block away from the Lincoln Center for the Performing Arts. The tiny café huddled despondent among the huge city buildings. Washed out under the overcast sky, it hunched in itself. Jennie and I were one of the only customers present at this late hour, sitting diagonally from each other. I found the overall atmosphere relaxing for my weary self, as I slouched on the patio-styled cushioned chair, listening to the effervescence of the live pianist's light fingers dancing upon the piano's ivory keys as he plays renditions of soft jazz tunes. 

The older girl looked up from her menu to acknowledge me, "You're a bassoon?"

"I play the bassoon", I spoke in an attempt not to sound like a grammar nazi.

"Whew", she reclined in her seat, propping her feet up on the empty chair in front of her, "You know, bassoonists are like unicorns — majestic yet rare. Maybe it's because the bassoon is such a hard instrument to play, in my opinion. I tried playing my friend's bassoon once. The double reed made my mouth sore and I thought that my lungs were going to explode after playing a simple F. You make it seem easy."  

"Sure", I yawned, not really paying attention to her.

Jennie cocked her head, "Tired?"

"Yeah", I simply said, swirling my mocha latte with my spoon, watching the stream of coffee churn in all its sedate motions.

"Must be because end-of-the-semester juries are coming and we have to perform Sibelius and Ravel", Jennie huffed, then gave me a wide-eyed smile, pinching my cheeks to grab my attention, "And also, you didn't eat dinner, you silly bean!"

I moved Jennie's hand away from my face, "Don't—"

"Here's the menu", Jennie cut in before I could spurt out a single word, "Order what you’d like. My treat."

"You really don't have to."

"Oh, how embarrassing!" she cries out, "I forgot to use the ladies' restroom before I picked you up! I'll be back!"

"What about your order?" I inquired the hurried clarinetist.

"Just tell the cute waiter boy that I want a bread bowl of New England Clam Chowder with a side order of Chicken Caesar Salad!" She responded in a loud voice that can be heard from across the restaurant, "Oh! And two glasses of water!"

As soon as Jennie left, I returned to my exhausted state, twirling my spoon into a stream of coffee as small streaks of milk foam drifted in a circular direction. On my left, a tall figure's shadow swayed over my head as I ceased my procedure, easily recognizing her oval-shaped face and her ruffled auburn-brown hair, her mallet case case slung over her shoulder as she gave me a smirk. The girl looked stunning in a dinner jacket and waistcoat, accented with a black bowtie. She brushed her feet against the floor, whistling as she waited for me to say a word. 

"Your order, bassoon-chan?" 

"Jeong—" I gasped, "What are you doing here?"

"Had to pay off the rent somehow", she sulked, seemingly enervated from having to perform her work duties right after Pops Orchestra rehearsals. I bet that Jeongyeon would rather be in bed right now, perhaps cuddling with Momo. "Surprised to see you not in a practice room, self-deprecating like most perfectionists do."

"I lost a lot of life in me after that surgery. And it's not even my last surgery."

"Makes sense", the timpanist-slash-club president commented, jotting down something on her clipboard, "I've gotten down what your friend wanted. And then a classic cheeseburger for you, I presume. Oh! And with a large bottle of Heinz Ketchup to go with your order."

"You know me too well", I chuckle.

"I would know because you murdered the fries the last time we ordered In-N-Out", Jeongyeon sniggers, slapping my .

"OUCH! YOU MOTHERFU—" I attempt to swing my menu at the timpanist, but she laughs and runs to the back of the kitchen before I could strike. Then Jennie had returned from the bathroom, befuddled at my sudden change of mood.

"What's with all the hullabaloo?", Jennie dumbfoundedly questioned.

"Oh, nothing, Nothing at all!" all of a sudden, my exalting tone abruptly changed into a more pleasant and subtle tone.

Jennie continued to browse at a menu consisting of a delightful selection of wines, cocktails, and other coffee cups when she caught my distressed expression targeted at the vast, mahogany floor beneath my small feet. I was about to fall asleep on my bassoon case when Jennie began to talk.

"I thought that I knew every bassoonist at Juilliard", she sat up in her chair, her cardigan-clad shoulders poised, almost like a justice scale that balanced books, "But you're different. You're not lonely, geeky, weird, or incompetent at your instrument, you're probably the most beautiful bassoonist that I've ever met. If I were a guy, I'd date you. When I heard you perform Le Cygne Noir at the BBC Proms last year, I cried. God, your bassoon sounds so glorious. I've never been that emotionally driven by anyone's playing before. You made me cry the out of my eyes."

"Oh..." I wasn't sure how to react, "I'm sorry."

"Ha ha ha ha!" Jennie lolls her head back in laughter, "You're apologizing? I'm saying you're so good. Like, god-tier good. You moved me, a lot."

"Gee, thanks", I replied indifferently.

"Wahhhh! Your reaction is so lame!" the clarinetist was cracking up, banging her fist on the table and nearly causing Jeongyeon to drop our food.

Four bites into my life-sized hamburger and I'm already full. I don't think that my stomach could take in the fries. The door to the cafe swung open and half-a-dozen more customers ran in, heralded by a blast of cold wind. Jennie disregarded the people around her and started to gobble up her salad and chowder like it was nobody's business. Wow, this girl isn't as prim and proper as I thought.

"Minaarrr", Jennie slurred, food still in , "You're not eating?"

"I'm just tired, that's all", I explained, setting down my hamburger and snatching a cup of water from across the table, "I had a lot of work to do."

And I'm not just talking about Juilliard Orchestra rehearsals and Pops Orchestra rehearsals. I caught up on missed homework, I worked at the Disability Resources Center this morning, I had a music history class, I taught SinB how to triple-tongue during our lesson in the afternoon, I had my bassoon lesson, and then I spent six hours in the practice room with Minyoung, brushing up on the pieces that I have to play for our music jury.

Carrying out my daily schedule would've been easier if I didn't have to deal with the symptoms that came with my post-acoustic neuroma removal.

"Of course you have a lot of work to do", she consumed her last bite of seasoned chicken and turned to face me, "You're so hardworking. You're Mina Myoui, the world's greatest and youngest bassoonist of the twenty-first century." 

Of the twenty-first century? I choked on an ice cube, "You're exaggerating."

"I'm telling the truth. You are the best", Jennie speaks honestly, a small smile hanging on her pink lips for whatever reason that I cannot explain, "And you're still young, which means that your playing is going to get even better and better as you grow." 

That's what you think.

"You know, Mina", she continues, a piece of complementary ciabatta hanging in between her teeth, "I've always envied you because you win every single competition that you enter, you always earn first chair in any ensemble that you audition for, you get to perform in the most prestigious venues and in the most celebrated music festivals, and etcetera. You're so lucky. You don't know what it feels like to lose anything."

Jennie. You have no idea about what I'm going through right now.

"Mina", the clarinetist swallows, "You're overdressing your fries."

"Wha—" I bring myself back to my senses when I realize that I've poured a heap-ton of ketchup on top of my fries, "Ah crap..."

"Hah! I told you that you'd kill the fries", Jeongyeon teases as she makes a quick flourish past our table and to the customer sitting behind us. I gritted my teeth at the mocking timpanist-slash-club president-slash-waitress, but she was too lost in her own world to notice me.

"You know that cute boy?" she implies Jeongyeon, intrigued at our little exchange.

"She is just a friend."

One hour later, Jennie and I are still stuck in this muggy restaurant. Most of the customers that came in while we were eating had already left and the staff members were preparing to close down for the night. I didn't finish any of my fries so Jeongyeon thought about saving my unfinished meal and bestowing it upon Momo, who believes that wasting food should be a federal offense. Jennie continues to waste my time by nibbling on her unfinished piece of bread.

"Penguin-chan", Jennie smiles, "Can I call you that? Because you're so cute, awkward, and 'Penguin-chan' just fits because you're Japanese."

"Whatever", I shrugged, not really caring. No but seriously, I'm too tired to give a crap.

"Anyways, Penguin-chan", Jennie leans in closer to me, her gold infinity necklace hitting the table as she stares intensely into my eyes, "Tell me about your life at Juilliard. Other than classes, practicing your fagotto, and stuff, what else do you do? Who do you hang out with?"

"Sana and Chae—" I swifty covered my mouth, coming to the realization that I told Reina's 'new friend' about my whereabouts. 

Why did you do that?

"Hmm... Sana and Chaeyoung?" Jennie ponders, pursing her lips, "Sana Minatozaki is that weird horn kid with blonde hair and an eerily high-pitched voice, right? She is the one that looks and dresses up like one of those stereotypical high school girls in animes and Japanese dramas."

"Mhm."

Jennie does make a point about Sana's fashion sense. Today, she fixed her hair into soft curls and sported a white crochet collared top with a plaid, pleated high-low skirt. Yesterday, she decided to fix her disarrayed hair into a messy bun while a white flower knit top and a bright yellow crochet point edge skirt hugged her figure. Those who dress up in bright colors or form an attire correspondent to a private high school uniform are possibly certified geeks, or so Chaeyoung claims when we had that one conversation about anime depictions in comparison to real life.

Speaking of Chaeyoung...

"And then Chaeyoung, hm?" she takes a moment to let that name sink into her head, "Oh! She's the deaf girl who plays percussion instruments, right? The short one with a brown bob cut and sort of dresses up like a boy or just flat-out doesn't care about what she wears at all?"

"Why are you so keen on observing other people's fashion senses?" I inquire. Chaeyoung isn't rich, you know?

"It's not that!" Jennie asserts, searching for words, "It's just... among all of the other people in our orchestra, Sana and Chaeyoung are the type of people I'd expect the least to be your friends, since your playing skills are leagues above them and you look like a million bucks every day."

"I don't need to hang out with over-the-top rich or talented people to be happy", I notice that I'm sounding defensive and this isn't a good sign.

But thankfully, Jennie doesn't take my tone of voice the wrong way, "That's cool. I remember when you were younger, you used to be a super cocky, hyper-competitive, stone-cold . Well, at least that's what I saw with my eyes when we used to bite each other's asses off at music competitions. But you've changed a lot, Mina. You've grown to become more humble." 

"Mina is still a bit cold, though", Jeongyeon, now in casual clothing, butts in with a joking smile. She pokes my cold cheek with her warm finger.

"Will you off?" I sneer.

"Love you, bassoon-chan! I'll tell Momo to thank you for giving her your fries!" the short-haired waitress ruffles my head, grabs her red coat from the coathanger, makes her way out the door, "See you at Pops Orchestra rehearsals tomorrow!"

"You're a member of the Pops Orchestra?" Jennie questions with an amusing look on her face.

Oh no.

Great. Not only does Jennie know about the people that I hang out with, but she also knows about me being a member of the Pops Orchestra. If she knows, chances are that Reina and The Six are going to find out sooner or later about my whereabouts.

"I-I'm sorry but I have to go", I throw on my leather jacket and haul out my instrument case from under the table.

"Wait!" she grabs my wrist, "Where are you going?" 

I was sweating, conjuring up an excuse off the top of my head, "I have a morning class. I need to sleep."

"Oh, okay then", Jennie sighs, letting go of my arm, "By the way Penguin-chan, I won't tell anyone about you being friends with Sana and Chaeyoung, or you being a member of the Pops Orchestra. You have my word, I promise."

"Thanks", I said with a small smile.

The Seventy-First Measure

Wednesday: November 25, 2020

God, I hate having headaches during rehearsals.

I thought that things were going to get better after I had part of my brain tumor removed, but I jinxed myself. I've had a lot more headaches and instances of vertigo since the aftermath of my first surgery. I couldn't even bring myself to Pops Orchestra rehearsals without the assistance of Sana and Chaeyoung, whom I linked arms with all the way from the Main Building to the Alice Tully Hall. 

"Omo!" Yerin bellows in her obnoxiously loud voice, "You bought that boutonniere for Mark? That's so suh-weeeet!"

"You can't tell him about it though!" Junior tells Yerin and SinB, retracting his phone and positioning it smack in front of his sheet music, "Once Mark returns from the bathroom, you two better not say a single word or else I'm going to smother you guys with my reed knife."

Yerin, SinB, and Junior continue to compete about their dates, talking and yelling at each other so loudly that my current headache only ensues to become even more painful. Even though I'm proud of their improvement since the Pops Orchestra's opening night, that doesn't change the fact that all of them sustain to act like sixth graders when they're in rehearsals. None of them even touched their instruments and began to warm up. Yerin, Mark, and Junior are supposed to be a year older than me too. My head leans on the bell of my bassoon because I can't even begin to practice scales amongst this ruckus. I decide to close my eyes and hope that they'll shut up sooner or later. 

Mark heads towards his seat and Yerin takes the opportunity to teasingly knock Junior's phone off of his music stand, "HEY, MARK! JUNIOR SAID—"

My head hurts.

"Hey!" Junior jumps off his seat and starts to strangle the older girl, "Give me back my phone, you blockhead!"

My head really hurts.

"Yah!" SinB also stood up firmly from her hair, "Don't call my girlfriend that, you halfwit!"

My head really, really hurts.

Mark ceases the assembly of his contrabassoon and also flares up, "You don't call my boyfriend that!"

"Jerkhead!" SinB shouts.

"Dunce!" Mark counters.

"Nincompoop!" Yerin shrills.

Junior stomps his foot, "Son of a—"

"CAN YOU MORONS JUST SHUT UP AND PRACTICE?" I scream and it feels as if the whole world around me froze in time. Knowing that I normally don't talk loud, Sana was probably the most taken aback at how capable I was at raising my voice over the tuning of instruments.

Fantastic. Now my throat is dry. 

But then Junior completely avoids practice and persists in staying on the previous topic, "Mina! Are you going with anyone to the Juilliard Ball?"

My reed falls out of my mouth, "The what?"

"The Juilliard Ball!" SinB exclaims, excited as a pig in a peach orchard, "Remember that huge formal dance that The Juilliard School puts on after finals are over? You literally got asked out by forty-something guys, including Mingyu, last year and the year before." 

Oh, that.

The Juilliard Ball, or simply "The Ball", is the one major social event that is active throughout the school year, other than those spontaneous dorm activities and post-midterm parties. We don't have any fraternities, sororities, or any other college party-drivers on campus. During the school year, Juilliard students have no time to go out, staying up nights on-end studying and competing against their peers as if their lives depended on it. I'm a part of that pidgeonhole. The practice rooms have become my second home to my dorm. The performing arts industry is an unforgiving business and getting slightly distracted can be the difference in being hired at a renown institution or being unemployed for the rest of your life.

But just because Juilliard is home to the best performing artists in the world, it doesnt always imply that the students don't believe in having fun and socializing. Students hype over The Ball because it is an event that takes place after finals and there's nothing else left to do except wait for the next semester to begin. The Ball is a stress-reliever and an escape from our hectic, tumultous lives.

But for me, it was just Prom 2.0 except even classier with good- food, drinks, decorations, and music. It was like a Viennese occasion except The Ball also consisted of y gowns, amped-up dancing, alcoholic drinks provided to students who show valid identification, and the occasional cat fights between intoxicated drama, dance, and voice majors — types of things that wouldn't be authorized at a high school dance. The professors didn't feel the need to monitor us because we're freaking adults. We're not meant to be babysat like we were in high school.

The primary reason as to why I attended The Ball every year was because The Six dragged me to go. Our social circle wouldn't be complete if I wasn't there. It's almost comparable to the Spice Girls attending an awards ceremony, except with only four members present instead of five.

"So Mina, are you going to The Ball?" Yerin reinforces the question.

"Err...' I thought distressingly. I don't really need to go to The Ball since I'm not a part of The Six anymore. Plus, I don't want to mess up my hearing.

"Settle down everyone!" Maestro Ishii enters the hall, saving my from having to answer Yerin's question, "Jeongyeon, Momo, and Jihyo have some important announcements regarding the Juilliard Pops Orchestra's next concert, which will be in December. Now, please listen to them."

Jeongyeon announces her arrival with a wide grin and a colossal stack of papers, "Bonjour, mes amis! (Hello, my friends!). Momo, Jihyo, and I have some exciting news to share! In my hands, I have all the processed documents needed for our next trip."

Everyone brings their full attention to Jeongyeon after hearing the word "trip". 

The timpanist searches for a place to set down the papers and gives Jihyo the spotlight, "The Juilliard Pops Orchestra, among other famous orchestras, will be performing at the Le Festival de musique d'hiver de Paris taking place during our winter break! This offer has been given to us by the festival committee, in which one of their members had attended our opening night and recommended for our orchestra to become a part of the lineup."

Parisian Winter Music Festival? Wait a minute...

The Juilliard Orchestra, the Juilliard Pops Orchestra, and the New York Philharmonic are a going to perform at the same festival. Oh no.

"Aaaaannnnnd", Momo elongates, her eyes surveying a piece of paper, "According to the program, we're scheduled to perform right after the New York Philharmonic. On Day Four. The Juilliard Orchestra, which I know that Mina, Sana, and Chaeyoung are a part of, will perform on Day Five."

No, no, no. We can't be after the New York Philharmonic. My mom and dad are in that orchestra. They're going to find out that I've been meddling with the Pops Orchestra and shun me for as long as I live. To them, "Popular" music is regarded as the lowest form of music. I've never listened to the radio, I've never watched any music shows on television, and I could only buy certain songs on iTunes under my mom's discretion. 

"Mina, are you okay?" Yerin taps my shoulder.

I spaced out, "Yeah! I'm fine. I am definitely not stressing out right now!"

Jeongyeon continues the announcement, "Don't worry about expenses. Those are all shouldered by the festival committee. All I ask is that you guys have the necessities for traveling abroad. Bring your passport, get all of your proper vaccinations, call your credit card provider, whatever."

"Hey, No Jams", Jihyo whispers quite loudly over to their president, "You forgot to tell them about our repetoire."

"Oh, crap!" she apprehends, "We're playing one hour's worth of Christmas songs, including our signature Sleigh Ride."

Behind me, I could hear the horn section in protest. Offbeats, offbeats, offbeats.

Jeongyeon clasps her hands together with a flashy smile, "That's it for today! The music won't be handed out to all of you until tomorrow. Dahyun is still working on getting copies for each section so there's nothing to rehearse. I'm going to end rehearsals early. Bonne Nuit! (Good Night)" 

The Seventy-Second Measure 

Thursday: November 26, 2020

My music theory class ended early, then Minyoung and I had a two-hour practice session for our upcoming music jury.

I arrived at the residence hall around lunchtime when my eyes caught Chaeyoung's legs spread all over Sana's Sailor Moon carpet, playing Animal Crossing. The shorter girl slept over at our dorm room last night since she couldn't get home — her metro line was closed down because one of the trains had been deemed dysfunctional. On the other hand, Sana is currently having her a horn lesson so she's not here. I forgot to mention that Sana and I switched beds because of my imbalance. My legs couldn't bring themself to climb to the top bunk, so now I sleep on the bottom bunk.

The percussionist folded her Nintendo DS and tossed it on my bed, "How was practice with Minyoung?"

I tenderly laid my bassoon case next to the lamp table, "I didn't sound like crap. Well, that's what Minyoung thinks."

"That's a start", is all that Chaeyoung indicates with her hands, "You're becoming more (I can't decipher this sign) to playing your instrument with reduced hearing."

"Becoming more what?"

"A-D-J-U-S-T-E-D."

"Oh. I guess."

"I see that those post-it notes are slowly building up on your self-confidence", she smiles, "You didn't say one bad thing about yourself."

My self-affirmation mirror stands on the other side of the lamp table and I'm taken by surprise at how many notes there are:

11/18/16: I love my hair.
11/19/16: I have cute feet.
11/20/16: Wow, I never realized how y my lips looked until now.
11/21/16: Minyoung and I played super good in the practice room.
11/22/16: I think I just played the best F-scale since forever.  
11/23/16: When I play Saint-Saëns's Sonata, my bassoon sounds like chocolate to my ears.
11/24/16: Mr. Cseszneky just complimented me on my tone! 
11/25/16: I just learned from my lesson with SinB that I have a fast triple-tongue.
11/26/16: I guess Jennie is right about my playing? I cried while playing the bassoon solo to Scheherazade.

Woah.

I wrote too much.

The percussionist gives me a thumbs-up, "Keep doing that."

"Okay, I guess", I nodded.

*growl*

Goddammit, stomach. Not in front of Chaeyoung!

"You must be hungry. I'll make you lunch", Chaeyoung read my pained expression darted towards the refrigerator, sprouted up from her seat, and scrambled towards the kitchen. I guess that's one thing about having a deaf friend: at least she doesn't hear your stomach growl.

I grabbed her wrist then let her go to use sign language, "You don't have to."

"Mina!" Chaeyoung looked desperate, "You're tired. You need rest. Let me cook for you."

I give in, loosening my hand to let the shorter girl free. I slump on my bed and close my eyes for twenty minutes or so.

The scent of some good- meal wafts into my nose and my eyelids threaten to open. I slid on my penguin slippers and walked, rather unsteadily, to the lounge area at the end of the twenty-fifth floor hallway, which also comprises of a kitchen and the correspondent cooking tools for students to use. Chaeyoung is loafing on one of the smaller couches with her feet propped up on a footrest. 

"I enhanced your Cup Noodles", Chaeyoung implants this smug but laughable look on her face.

Indeed she did — Cup Noodles slapped on with shredded cabbage, carrots, bite-sized slices of pre-cooked pork, a sunny-side up egg crackled on top, sprinkled with fish flakes and seaweed powder on top, and dressed in some kind of sauce that my tongue can't determine. Chaeyoung must be such a fast runner, having to dash down to the Trader Joe's located on Broadway to buy these ingredients.

"I call it (I can't decipher this sign) since I didn't use the normal ingredients", she giggled, pushing my plate towards me, My (I still can't decipeher this sign) sauce is made with (She pointed at the labels of each bottle before signing) worchestershire sauce, soy sauce, garlic salt, and your favorite — ketchup, a lot of ketchup."

"You call it what?"

"W-A-C-K-Y S-O-B-A."

I grabbed a fork and twisted the noodles with it.

"It's good", I dropped my fork to sign with her. Then I ecstatically savored every bite that I can, one piece at a time.

Chaeyoung had to blush, having heard that from her 'idol', "Oh, please. This is just one of those (she flashed her phone screen in front of my face with a YouTube video and a title under that said video, then she put her phone down) college ramen hacks."

"This tastes better than my family's cooking", I endorsed, "You're talented enough to cook on 'MasterChef'."

She scratched her head, "Gordon Ramsey makes me nervous. GBBO (abbreviation for "The Great British Bake Off") is better."

"Excited to go to Europe?" I attempted to whip up a conversation.

The percussionist shrugged, setting her fork down after slurping her own share of noodles, "I've never been to Paris. You?"

I began to list the names of cities off the top of my head, occasionally using online resources to look up the sign for each city, but not locating anything. I ended up texting her.

[Mina Myoui] I've been to London, Prague, Vienna, Salzburg, Moscow, Brussels, Milan, Munich, and Geneva. Only for music — not for fun. I haven't been to Paris yet.

And by music, I mean competitions, music festivals, and youth orchestra tours.

"That's a lot."

"If anything, those trips were more tiring."

"Valid point", she agreed, "I've practiced so hard for ARD, that I didn't even have time to enjoy the city."

My eyes widened, "You competed at ARD?"

Chaeyoung brooded, absentmindedly playing with her food for a while before stopping to take out her phone.

[Son Chaeyoung] Yeah, in 2016 — same year as Park Jihyo and Karen Fujii. Jihyo and Karen tied for second place. And me? I messed up. I didn't place in my category. That was my downfall. You competed in ARD too, didn't you? In 2013?

"Yes."

"And you won, right?"

I swallowed the lump in my throat before signing back, "Yes."

The other girl rolls her eyes, "I'm not surprised."

The more I talked (or accurately, "sign-languaged") to Chaeyoung, the less I gravitated towards my phone because I had to pay attention to her hand movements. And the less that I used my phone, the more detached I was from social media and other news, which isn't necessarily a bad thing. I don't have to view Reina and The Six's posts on Instagram, nor their snaps on Snapchat or their flagrant ramblings on Twitter. I also haven't been responding to my mom or my dad's texts recently. They probably believe that I'm busy or something.

Oh god. My parents.

"You look disturbed", Chaeyoung brought up.

"Uh, kind of", I managed to spit out, my chopsticks sliding off my fingers as my hand begins to shake.

"It's about your mom and dad, huh? You were worried when Momo said that we would perform after the New York Philharmonic",  I swear, this girl knows how to hit every single note resonating within my brain.

I was an inch away from elbowing my bowl of 'Wacky-Soba', "How did you know? You couldn't possibly hear Momo speaking."

"Sana was translating for me. And plus, I'm a percussionist. I see everything from the back row."

I lean closer towards Chaeyoung, my hands tightly gripping her shoulders and bangles tinkling against each other, "You don't suppose that the festival committee is going to add a member roster to the programe, right? RIGHT?"

"Mina", she gestures right in front of my face, "I'm deaf, remember?"

"Oh", I retracted my hands, "I just don't want them to find out that I'm doing 'other' things."

"Things?"

I don't remember what the sign was for 'practicing', so I spelled it out for her, "P-R-A-C-T-I-C-I-N-G."

"Okay", Chaeyoung nods, hiding a hysterical smile as she texted away. 

[Son Chaeyoung] Don't worry about your parents looking for you when the Pops Orchestra performs. They won't. I heard from Sana and Jihyo that all of us are going to be wearing Santa hats with reindeer ears and stuff.

"The hell?" I grimaced. The last thing I want to experience is being caught looking like a fruitcake while performing. 

"Chaeyoung is right. Chewy and Dubu will be picking up the hats sometime this week", Sana stepped out of the elevator with an over-sized cat sweater and a stupid grin on her face, instrument case cuddled in her arms like a teddy bear.

"How are you still alive?" I asked Sana, who must've arrived from her private lesson.

"I told my instructor about our winter festival repertoire and we deliberately avoided practicing Sleigh Ride", she winked, then gestured to the shorter girl next to me, laxing like a couch potato on a Saturday afternoon (Today is Thursday), "Chaeyoung, did you ask Mina yet?"

I furrowed my brow, "Ask me what?"

Chaeyoung gulped down her last bite of her homemade 'Wacky-soba', letting out a nervous reflexive giggle. I haven't seen Chaeyoung act this apprehensive since Reina and the other Juilliard Orchestra members bullied her into oblivion. Then she swallows, gazing into my eyes with hers.

Chaeyoung raised her hands, "Mina. Will you go to The Ball with me?"

"Eh?"

Crap. I forgot about The Juilliard Ball. 

She panicked, "Not as a date! We'll just go as friends!"

Chaeyoung remarks my parents and it breaks my heart deeply. I've known for a long time that my mom and dad would not be fond of me going out with somebody who is anything but a boy. When I was younger, my parents had taught me that being straight would bring me a better life. They also continuously stress to me that if I were to admit that I love girls, then I would bring down our family reputation. The question was always, Would your relatives be happy? Your neighbors? Your friends? It was never about what would make me happy.

I'm confused. I just haven't had the time to consider my ual preferences.

Chaeyoung is still looking at me, her eyes digging into mine. If we're just going as friends, I guess it wouldn't hurt.

"Alright", I confirm, "I'll go with you to The Ball."

BONUS (Just Do It)

Yesterday — Wednesday: November 25, 2020

It was around dinnertime when Sana and Chaeyoung finished their respective classes for the day. Unfortunately, there was no sign of Mina Myoui in between classes. Their only hope is to search for her around the cafeteria or on their way to their last orchestra practice before the big day. Sana can already imagine the look on Mina's face when Chaeyoung would ask her out to The Juilliard Ball. But Sana was determined, fiercely determined to grant Chaeyoung her wish. As soon as the two girls grabbed their soups from the Juilliard & SAB Café's soup & salad bar, they headed to an unoccupied table where Pops Orchestra oboist Choi Youngjae would serve as their waiter. 

"So just two Caffè Lattes for you guys?" Youngjae inquires.

"Yes, please", Sana certifies.

And then Youngjae left, fetching their drinks from the counter, leaving Sana and Chaeyoung to eat their soups respectfully. Unfortunately for Chaeyoung, she couldn't stand to take another bite of the spicy soup she conjured up with too much taco seasoning, whereas for Sana, she didn't quite mind the piquant flavors of the dish itself. Sana is surprised because Chaeyoung grew up eating spicy food. The silence continued until Sana noticed the percussionist playing with her soup. They way she was swirling her spoon in endless streams was blatantly distracting.

"What's preventing you from asking Mina out to The Ball?" the blonde girl begins.

Chaeyoung pondered, swirling her cup of latte with a spoon, "Have you seen Mina's parents before? They're scary."

The other girl laughs, "Of course I've seen Mina's parents before. I used to go to school with her."

The percussionist exhales, "I'm not in love with her, in that sense. I just want to go to The Ball with her because when will I ever get the chance to dance with her after she graduates? She's going to be in her last year at Juilliard next year, meaning that she'll be too busy to hang out with."

"So why don't you ask her to the dance?" Sana repeats her question.

"Mina told me that her parents don't want to see her going out with girls, even if it's not during a romantic occasion."

"You just said that you're not romantically invested in her. If Mina's mom and dad magically find out about her going to the dance with you, simply say that you two were going out as friends and not girlfriends", the horn player suggests, flinging her arms over her head.

"I guess..." Chaeyoung lowers her hands.

"Chaeng. Like you said, when are you ever going to have the opportunity to dance with Mina ever again?"

The shorter girl lowered her head, feeling a pang of guilt, "But what about you? You don't even have a date."

"Don't worry about me!" Sana insists, "I'll be fine."

Sana, the younger girl thought. Sana was the type of friend who by nature, would instill great importance and devotion to the people that she deeply cares about. She would do anything to ensure one's prosperity and well-being, even if it means putting others before herself. Chaeyoung doesn't quite understand why Sana is like this, or what compilation of events drove her to act this loyal.

"Chaeng. I just want you to be happy", she affirmed with great resolve and vigor.

A/N: Hey friends. I apologize for not updating as earlier as expected. A lot has been going on where I live because well... I live in America (San Francisco, specifically) and went down on 11/9/2016. I don't feel like going into detail right now because I'm just in complete shock. I wouldn't be able to formulate my words properly had I shared it here, right now. So maybe at a later time, I guess.

On a lighter note, I'd like to ask something from you guys. If Mina and Sana could play a beautiful bassoon-horn duet together, what song would it be? It doesn't necessarily have to be a classical piece. It could be a slow K-pop ballad, an anime OST, etc. Leave your thoughts below ^^

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