ARC ONE

tremolo
Origin: Italian
A trembling effect

DISCLAIMER: The personalities and opinions of these characters do not represent those of actual idols themselves, the Juilliard students, the New York Philharmonic, or any of its employees. The Juilliard School is not responsible for the accuracy of information.

A/N: Cheers to another long- chapter :D

The Eighty-Third Measure

Thursday: December 24, 2020

The Christmas Eve Ball was held at the Luxembourg Palace — the seat of the French senate and a monument that spans much of France's history.

There really wasn't anything to do at the Christmas Eve Ball except eat and perhaps socialize. Actually, socializing with Sana and the others wasn't really an option since my parents were there. My mom even arranged that I would sit in the same table as The Six, which felt even more unsettling than having Dahyun annoy you with her "dank memes" or having Jeongyeon, Momo, and Sana call out your goofy nicknames in public.

An uncomfortable silence hung in the air as all eyes were concentrated at me. I shouldn't be here. But thankfully, it wasn't long before The Six resumed to their dining, where a genuinely naïve Jennie Kim was confused about the sudden upheaval that I caused months ago. Jeongyeon and the others knew about the situation with my parents so they sat in a different table, pretending not to know my name. Having to feign my friendship with The Six made me feel revolted. Other than Jennie, I didn't talk to the The Six, nor did they talk to me — it's the symmetric property.

I hate math.

Jennie takes note of my weary expression and starts patting my head, "Cheer up, baby! You look gorgeous tonight, especially with your hair in that loose, curly bun and your body in that bedazzled pale green party dress. Let me guess, Saint Laurent? McQueen? Michael Kors?"

"Vera Wang", I answered. It's a designer dress with a strapless rococo bodice and a ruffled high-low skirt cascading below the jeweled waistline.

"Oh, duh!" Jennie smacks herself, "You're from New York City. Of course it'd be Wang!"

Reina glares at the raucous clarinetist to be quiet while the gang enjoys their classic Steak au Poivre. I couldn't even bring myself to enjoy my own food. It wasn't only because the chef gave me a medium-well filet mignon instead of a medium-rare filet mignon. Jeongyeon's full-mouthed laughters and Sana's high-pitched squeals could be heard from the table next to mine. The "Crack Squad" was clearly having an enjoyable conversation. Momo kept banging her fist on the table at a stupid joke that Dahyun told, and it made Jihyo flare up because it was one of those shared viola jokes among the Pops Orchestra's string sections. (What is the difference between a radio and a viola? A radio actually makes music.)

"Psst", Jennie buzzes over to me, "Have you noticed that Sana has changed her sense of fashion? I mean, look at that what she's wearing — a silver embroidered faille gown designed by Carolina Herrera? Those dresses go off for eight-thousand dollars off Saks Fifth Avenue! And yesterday when I saw you guys at the Notre Dame, she had Louis Vuitton pumps and a Ralph Lauren Velvet-trim dress! I thought she was poor or something."

"She's wearing my clothes", I made clear, "And those Louis Vuitton pumps were the same shoes that I wore at the BBC Proms last year." 

"I know, but why are you lending such lavish clothing to her?" Jennie gives me 'that' face, implying what I think she's implying.

"It's not what you think", I said coolly.

"It's exactly what I think."

I rolled my eyes, "Sana's been nice to me, so I'm being nice to her by letting her borrow my clothes, okay?"

"There's more to a story than what meets the eye", Jennie is being extremely persistent and it's making me want to pull my hair.

"Will you two stop talking about Sana?" Karen Fujii appeals, jabbing her rosemary potatoes with her fork as to make a declaration, "Sana will not ever, and I mean never become a topic of our daily conversations. She is not a part of the group and she will never be acknowledged by us."

I nearly choked on my food, forcefully gulping it down my throat before I made eye contact with the heated violist, "Sorry".

"You okay?" Shuuka asked.

"Yeah", I replied, wiping the excess sauce off my face.

I was incredibly silent throughout the occassion, watching as a nobly-suited Shori Satou (Who is now off suspension and declared as co-principal clarinets with Jennie) expertly twirls Reina Washio around the dance floor in perfect rhythm with one another. Yes, I couldn't stand the self-righteous , but I started to feel envious at the fact that a jerk like Reina was having a better night than I was. Reina Washio was so popular in LaGuardia and had more freedom than me, not to mention that she had his own troupe of men (Or what I mentally recall as her cocky-assed cult). But the wretched woman was a mask, only showing her devilish manifestation to me, who intentionally provoked her evil side. I didn't even dare to get close with Sana and the others in the hindsight of my parents, especially since the day my mom splashed coffee on the poor girl's uniform.

Then Yuzuna took advantage of Chaeyoung's lack of hearing and started gossipping about her, "Do you guys even know how Chaeyoung got accepted to the Juilliard Orchestra in the first place? I remember her having a ty audition on the first day."

"After my audition Maestro Gilbert allowed Chaeyoung to have a second audition", Somi mentioned.

"A second audition? Without us and the rest of the orchestra members in the judging panel?" Karen's eyes widened.

"It's because Chaeyoung is, you know... disabled?" Somi tries to word the percussionist's situation as nicely as possible.

"But what about Sana?" Karen questioned, "She didn't even audition for the Juilliard Orchesra, if I recall."

"When Chaeyoung had her second audition after the rest of us, she brought in Sana as her translator", Somi spilled the deets and it made the five girls inch closer to the younger girl in intrusiveness, "Chaeyoung did surprisingly well in her second audition because we weren't there to judge her."

"Yuta also said that Maestro was curious about Sana's skills so he asked her to play for him. He was very moved by her music", Shuuka added.

"Now that I think about it, something has been off with Chaekyung", Somi speculated, "She's been absent from school for months."

Karen hid her face in her arms, shaking her head in denial, "Don't tell me that Maestro Gilbert hired Sana as Chaekyung's replacement. My friend who attends the San Francisco Conservatory even told me that Sana was the worst horn player in the San Francisco Symphony Youth Orchestra."

"This is so unfair!" Yuzuna complained, "Chaeyoung should've not been given a second audition. None of the other Juilliard Orchestra members had the privilege of a second chance! And then Sana didn't even fill out an application to join the Juilliard Orchestra in the first place!"

Seriously? You guys told me and Jennie not to talk about Sana when you're all talking about her?

Jennie was the first person to speak up to me in this rough evening atmosphere, "Mina. Is something making you uncomfortable?"

"It's too humid in here", I sheepishly smiled, trying to make up an excuse to leave the table, "I'm finding it quite hard to breathe."

"Do you want to go outside? You know, just so you can catch your breath", she offered.

"Sure", I nodded, heading to the coat rack to grab my cloak.

The Eighty-Fourth Measure

With the snowfall suddenly subsiding, the Luxembourg Palace takes its odd transition from the winter season as the snow slackens from the field's greenery and herbage. Only the smallest specks of crystalized snowflakes seemed to deem the wintertide worthy. The Jardin du Luxembourg (the gardens of the Luxembourg) flourished with lush vegetation and ornamental plants that dignified the picturesque landscape. I stretched my legs out on the grassy hillside facing the famous Beethoven statue constructed by sculptor Antoine Bourdelle, taking in the breathtaking aspects of the well-sculpted simulacrum. Sunny trailed from behind, her soft curls bouncing in the soft winter wind, looking stunning a pastel pink high-low dress.

Sunny breathes in the scent of the garden's botany, "It’s beautiful out here, isn't it?"

"Sorry for dragging with you with me", I apologized. I felt weird holding a conversation with a musician from the famous Berlin Philharmonic.

The shorter girl let out a chuckle, plopping down next to my side as she my shoulder, "Don't apologize. I’ve been itching to spend some quality time with you after what I've heard from Sana. She talked a lot about you."

My voice trailed off, "Oh..."

"Is something bothering you?" Sunny cocked her head.

"What? No."

"Oh c'mon, Mina. I have Berlin Phil colleagues who are some of the biggest crybabies I've ever met", she laughed, "Just say it. Let it all out."

"What do you think of Chaeyoung?" I pressed, "What was she like when you were in the Youth Orchestra?"

Sunny's eyes dart to the magnificent Beethoven statue situated in front of us, "Chaeyoung is something different. Gifted, if I may say."

"Gifted?"

"I talked to Sana about this a few days ago. Even though Chaeyoung received some aide from her percussion colleagues, her parents couldn't afford to pay for private lessons. Chaeyoung didn't let financial burdens get in the way. Most of the skills that she picked up were from reading method books at the public library and observing other percussionists perform. She'd view them from the television screen and YouTube to the street performers of San Francisco — the city where she grew up in. When Chaeyoung was a kid, the street performers would allow her to tinker with their instruments, whether it'd be a professional drum kit or a bundle of trash cans flipped upside down for drumming on. That's what ignited her love for music — to connect and communicate with other people. Hans Christian Andersen even said that 'where words fail, music speaks'."

"What about the fact that she played in drum corps and competed in competitions? How did she manage to pay for those costs?"

"Maestro Shimazaki, our youth orchestra conductor, deeply appreciated Chaeyoung and even funded her for those opportunities."

My lord. I didn't know that Chaeyoung was this damn talented and so damn loved. To think that she could accomplish so much by herself and without a guide was something beyond my understanding. Chaeyoung seriously deserves more credit than what people give her. The Six needs to open up their mind and witness Chaeyoung's growth and passion for the art before writing her off as untalented.

"It didn't matter that she was losing her hearing", Sunny continued, "I don't know what she was diagnosed with, but when one of the senses gets lost, the brain rewires to enhance other senses. In Chaeyoung's case, she lost her hearing but she strengthened her sense of sight and touch."

"That's so impressive."

Sunny's eyes fixate on that same Beethoven statue again, "A part of me believes that Chaeyoung is like Beethoven. Beethoven wasn't born deaf, but his hearing began to deteriorate before he finally became deaf in his last decade of life. But that didn't stop him from composing music. He's had to find alternative ways to compose music. In fact, one of Beethoven’s biggest accomplishments was the composition of his famous Ninth Symphony or "Ode to Joy", which he wrote during a time period when he lost most of his hearing."

I've come to the fact that I actually like Sana's friend more than I thought. Not only is Sunny a cheeky and talented musician who plays with the Berlin Philharmonic, but she's very insightful and knowledgable about the domain of classical music and its conjunctions with other people.

"I overheard Yuzuna and the others talking about how Sana was the worst horn player in the San Francisco Symphony Youth Orchestra. Is that true?" I spilled and Sunny is amazed at my query. She puts a finger to her chin before answering.

"Sana was assigned as eighth chair horn out of eight horn players", Sunny revealed, "But last chair doesn't necessarily mean that she's the worst. The other members in her section probably had better audition performances than Sana, but one performance doesn't always dictate the level of one's playing. To be frank, I didn't talk to Sana much but I was friends with Yoona, who was Sana's section leader. Yoona actually likes Sana. A lot."

"She does?"

"Totally!" Sunny exclaimed, "Most horn players that I've met are either lazy- s or aggressive, super-competitive s. Yoona's other section mates wouldn't stop biting off her tail for earning the principal seat. But, Sana? She doesn't fit into any of those categories that I just mentioned. She just wanted to make music."

"Is Yoona the reason why Sana plays the horn?"

"Partly", Sunny simply answered, "Sana also grew up liking movies such as Harry Potter and Star Wars as a kid. And if you know John Williams, who wrote the music to those films, he puts a lot of emphasis on the horn parts. Williams also wrote that famously difficult horn concerto."

Of course. Sana is a nerd, after all.

"It acts as the hero figure in most compositions!"

Ah, that's right. Sana said something like this after I performed for the Special School of Music kids.

"But Sana's main drive to play the horn was because of her father, who was also a hornist before joining the United States military", she resumed, "He had taught Sana everything in his free time — not only about technique, but also how to truly love music. I knew Sana's father because he was also friends with my father, who went through basic training with him. Sana loved her father. He loved Sana."

I catch Sunny's use of the past tense, "Loved?"

The shorter girl exhaled, "Sana has been meaning to tell you when you were hospitalized, but she never found the appropriate time to talk about it."

"Talk about what?" I pressed.

As I waited for Sunny to reply, I watched as the sun began to set in the coming night sky, extinguishing its persuasive fire like a gripping symphony going into decrescendo, becoming more sentimental and intimate as the music begins to die down. The night sky was simply gorgeous, like a dark blue blanket surrounding the earth in all its gravity. The stars arose in all its shimmering colors of sapphire, azure, violet, and the list goes on. 

"Sana's father died", Sunny finally says, "In the Syrian War."

Dead. That word hung in the air for a long extent of time before either of us could conjure up a single word. I nearly strangled with my own breath, choking in tears as the lump in my throat caught high. 

"Do you realize how much I love you?"

Ah . I must've triggered Sana when I told her at the hospital that I didn't want to live anymore. No wonder why she was so mad at me. She lost so many people in her life and she doesn't want anyone else to leave her.

"I should've not asked that", I lowered my head in guilt.

"Don't worry about it", Sunny assured, "Sana is doing a lot better now."

I sniffled, mustering enough confidence to say my words clearly, "I feel terrible for not being there when Sana had to go through her father’s death."

Sunny placed a comforting hand behind my back, "It's not your fault. You didn’t know. Sana doesn't blame you either."

"When did he die?"

"He passed away on the same day that Sana auditioned for our youth orchestra", Sunny reveals collectedly, "She went through emotional counseling because of what happened to her father, not because of the estrangement of the other youth orchestra members or Yoona's death. Sana's father died before Yoona did. Most people would think that Sana is so emotionally invested in her music because of Yoona, but Sana plays like that because of her father." 

"I know that I'm asking too much from you", I said remorsefully, "I'm sorry."

"Jesus, stop apologizing! It feels refreshing to hang out with new people", Sunny brought up, a small grin lit up on her composed facial features, "It's not that I don't enjoy the comfort of my other friends, but it’s fun to talk to different people and share stories with them. I feel more at my comfortable state when I'm around you and you seem like a really good friend. Sana and Chaeyoung must be lucky to have you."

I didn't shy away this time, returning the favor with a smile, "I'm glad to hear that. It makes me feel better."

Sunny beamed back. My heart at peace towards her vivid attitude. I didn't feel so low-spirited anymore, my cold, frightened soul alleviated by the bass trombonist's warmth and comfort. Sunny glanced at the time displayed on her phone screen: 11:55 p.m. — Five more minutes until the Christmas Eve Ball ends. The howling wind was making its entrance, sounding as crisp and still as the languid trees that remained within the winter ambience. I was about to blurt out something before Sunny cuts in with an astounding question.

"So did you really kiss Sana and Chaeyoung in the past?"

"Well I— WHO TOLD YOU THAT?"

"Sana did", Sunny said. Of course Sana would tell her. The climate was growing colder with every passing minute; the smell of smoke in the night air starting to diminish as lucid glints of snow began to form on the blades of the grass.

"Uh..."

"I'm not going to tell anybody", she grins.

I guess I do owe her an answer after bombarding with all of my questions, "Fine, I did."

"Experimentation is a good thing!" Sunny boosts before getting smacked on the head, "Yuri dated two girls in the past and she's still single toda— ACK!"

"Why are you reiterating my life story to poor Mina?"

That raspy voice... why does it sound so familiar?

I turned around to see the dark-haired, tan-skinned woman standing behind Sunny and I. She wore a purple one-shoulder gown with jeweled accents on the single strap that is focused on a dramatic uneven neckline, hemmed waist, and a flowing accordion-like pleated floor length skirt.

It's Kwon Yuri, the former principal clarinetist of the Juilliard Orchestra and now the principal clarinetist of the London Symphony Orchestra. I was about to burst into tears. I frantically stood up to jump into the arms of my dear friend, who was still looming over the percussionist. She was close to giving me a tight hug before I winced in pain at the compression of my ribs. 

I must be dreaming.

"Y-Yuri?"

"Nice to see you again, Mina", she smiled.

"Yah! What about me, you giant ? We haven't seen each other in four years!" Sunny complained, massaging her head from Yuri's hard slap.

She crossed her arms and stared at her cousin, pretending not to care, "You Skype me every week, you Oompa Loompa."

Sunny flipped her off, " you."

*DING DONG DING DONG*

The clock strikes at midnight.

"Dammit! If only I saw Mina earlier", Yuri grunts, scratching her head. I'm disconcerted too because I could've had a meaningful conversation with Yuri instead of being stuck with The Six. "I'm afraid that we don't have much time to talk since the ball is over. We'll catch up soon, okay?"

The Eighty-Fifth Measure

Friday: December 25, 2020

Most would consider the Pops Orchestra's concert a success, but I found it hard to get over the fact that I was suffering from chronic tinnitus. That thought distracted me throughout the duration of our performance and it was difficult for me to enjoy our music.

After the concert, I decided to treat Chaeyoung to dinner at the Le restaurant de la Seine — not the kind of restaurant where you can get a table on impulse. We met for the purpose of devising Sana’s birthday gift, which is  why I didn’t invite her. The two of us were seated outdoors in a table facing the Seine river under the shade of genuine grapevines that hung over our heads. Flagstone tiled floor, embroidered chairs, and oval coffee tables with splendidly proportioned cabriole legs defined the archival establishment. Romantic music plays from an indie cover band from indoors.

I gazed at the light sprinkles of snow flakes falling from the distant, dark sky. The snow in Paris wasn't as heavy as the snow in NYC. I awed at Chaeyoung’s lustrous, abstracted eyes gazing at the iridescent rays of streetlights reflecting off the Seine River, hanging on building roofs as well as the hand-carved ice statues. The city of Paris at this time was bustling with people as well as street vendors and street performers. I glanced at the percussionist, whose nose wrinkled, smile glistened, and eyes glittered every time a snowflake tickled her nose.

“Tonight’s performance was a success, don’t you think?” Chaeyoung brings up after blissfully swallowing a  bite of authentic French Opera cake.

“I liked 'O Holy Night' near the end”, I snapped out of my previous thought process, using hand motions to communicate as I inhaled the strong, crisp cold air, “I was shocked when Jihyo got up from her seat and walked to the center of the stage. I had no idea that she could sing.”

---------

[A couple of hours ago. The Pops Orchestra's concert at the Festival]

As the string section begin to wind down from A Christmas Festival and a slow rendition Away in a Manger, Jihyo sets her viola and its bow down on her chair before advancing towards the center stage. Maestro Ishii gives her a nod before initiating the next piece.

O Holy night, the stars are brightly shining
It is the night of our dear Savior's birth

An orchestra in the back starts off the song in soft, quiet tones. Minyoung’s soft piano accompaniment slowly blends in with Jihyo’s delicate yet divine voice as she sings O Holy Night. 

Long lay the world in sin and error pining
Til He appeared and the soul felt it's worth

Along with Jihyo’s singing three distinctive instruments were chanting their resonating voices together as they combine forces to perform the melody. I quietly listened to the diversity of sounds reverberating from below me; the violin is bright and soaring, the clarinet is warm and sensuous, and the cello is placid and sentimental. I immediately recognized who they were: Momo, Nayeon, and Tzuyu. Their instruments correlated with their emotions — Momo with her upbeat and bubbly personality, Nayeon with her mellow and humble image, and Tzuyu with her calm and collected complexion.

A thrill of hope the weary world rejoices
For yonder breaks a new and glorious morn

How in the hell does Jihyo manage to be a proficient violist and a brilliant vocalist? I wondered as I was moved to tears by Jihyo's magnificent singing, my spine tingling and my heart stirring with every passing note emitting from her own expressive instrument.

Fall on your knees.

I had no idea that Jihyo retained such a beautiful singing voice, her stirring and expressive emotion impelling into the heartbreaking, sententious chorus of the song. I can only wonder about what Sana is thinking when she's listening to Jihyo sing. Does she think of Yoona or her father up until this day? I'm not so sure but I can't help but ponder about it.

O hear the angel voices

Jihyo takes in a deep breath, her voice growing louder and stronger to the point where it rang throughout every surface of the Palais Garnier, from the grand ornate lobby to the very realm of the concert hall itself, looking up at the abundance of gleaming marble, gold leafing, and cascading crystal chandeliers dangling ninety-six feet above her head.

O night divine!
O night when Christ was born

You don't need to understand English, nor do you need to be Christian to enjoy her angelic voice. I'm not a hundred percent sure if Jihyo is one, but the girl has the benevolence of an ideal mother and it reflects in the way that she sings. She shares her love of music with everyone.

O night divine!
O night, o night divine!

At last, Jihyo finally gets her chance to shine by finishing off the break with compelling solo parts and an almighty high note that I couldn't even dare to imitate. The final crescendo is mixed in with the gradual pounding from Jeongyeon’s timpani, resounding with the vociferous brass, shuddering with the strident strings, and trembling with the refined woodwinds. The ethereal orchestra finally comes to quiet down and Jihyo finishes the song again with her celestial voice quieting down.

O night, o holy Divine

Jihyo’s voice spirals down into a falsetto and the audience erupted into an impassioned applause as the virtuosic performer graciously bows to her sentimental spectators. There was a sudden trigger in my heart as the Jihyo gave her bow, her stance radiating against warm effulgence of the stage lights with every step she took. Even the critics and the other New York Philharmonic members gave the experienced girl a standing ovation before she trotted back to her principal viola seat.

---------

"If only I could hear Jihyo's voice", Chaeyoung's lips fall into a pout.

Seeing the percussionist frown, I scurry to change the subject, "Any idea on what to give Sana for her birthday?"

"I'm actually not good at stuff like this", she admitted, dropping her soup spoon, "I could never afford to buy any of my friends, let alone Sana, a birthday gift."

"I'll take care of the money. You just choose the gift", I offered.

But Chaeyoung shakes her head fervently, "I can't make you do that! I don't want to take advantage of your wealth."

"Well, what other ideas do you have?"

Our minds went blank. Neither of us wanted to bull Sana's twenty-first birthday present, especially me because I felt the need to keep Sana happy.

"Oh my gosh! Mina? And Chaeyoung too?" that strikingly, gravelly voice came to my left ear.

"Yuri?" 

Indeed, it was Yuri. Chaeyoung jerked her head towards the statuesque woman, glowing with an inner beauty that stood quietly and unassuming as she watched the restaurant customers rush through her heavy lash laden eyes. Straight with a sense of self-assurance, she stood like a sentinel among the rush of frantic humans, her cheek bones high and protruding to give a chiselled look on her tan skin. She possessed a beanstalk-like figure in curves as she moved right and left to the direction of our table. The percussionist was the first one to embrace the older girl, a sense of familiarity playing on their faces as they conjoined arms. That's right. Chaeyoung and Yuri were members of the same youth orchestra.

"My goodness, how much you have grown!" Yuri squeezed her in their hug, but Chaeyoung doesn't pick up a single word that Yuri says.

"She's deaf", I specified.

"Sorry. My bad", Yuri's face sagged as she learned this, "When I last saw Chaeyoung, she could talk so I had no idea what happened to her since then. Speaking of which, we need to catch up on our lives! How have you two been since our last encounter?"

I put on a meek smile, "As much as I'd like to talk, we need to think about Sana's birthday present."

"No problem, I'll help", Yuri grabs an unoccupied chair and sits next to Chaeyoung, "Any ideas?"

"Not at all", I shook my head, "We want it to be spectacular and not too expensive, but those kinds of things don't exist in Paris."

"Gifts don't need to be monetary", Yuri says while munching off a piece of our complementary bread, "It could be as simple as making music."

We rivet our eyes back to the indie cover band. The flows through my veins and swirls in my head. The vibrations emitted from the percussion causes Chaeyoung's fingers to drum on the tabletop and her feet tap on the floor. An ecstatic accordian chants of festivity and romance, the upright bass is as cool as my non alcholic wine, the sweet refrain of the guitar spoke a musical language with its soothing strums. The lead singer is an instrument and the lyrics wade through my brain like pie in the sky, her voice calling me to unwind and enjoy the music.

Taking heed to Jihyo's performance and what Sunny said about Chaeyoung, music can also be shared amongst people.

"YURI!" I abruptly rose from my chair, alarming the other customers, "You're a genius!"

The clarinetist tilted her head, "I am?"

"Chaeyoung! I have an idea of what to give Sana for her birthday!" I excitedly yell at Chaeyoung and she gives me a perplexed look because she can't understand a single word that I'm saying. I'll just explain it to her later.

The Eighty-Sixth Measure

"Hey, Sana", I called, "Do you have time tonight?"

Chaeyoung and I escorted the soon-birthday girl to the hotel's twenty-ninth floor common room where there is a large piano smack in the center. A panoramic view of the Parisian cityscape showcases the historic city's iconic lights, sophisticated buildings, stylish and cultural parks, artistic monuments, and principally, The Eiffel Tower in front of us — a skeleton of metal projecting up into the night sky, reaching out to the pearly stars. To have a clear view without clouds and the audacious lights of the city made the occassion a deeply humbling and enriching experience.

"What are you guys doing?" Sana was still generally confused by our antics.

"We're going to play for you", I said.

A wry laugh escaped from Sana's mouth,  "You don't even have your bassoon."

"I don't", I grinned, "I'm giving her a break."

"So what are you going to do?"

"I'm going to sing for you."

Sana's mouth gaped open at the word 'sing'. I see this and smile. Chaeyoung positions herself on the piano bench, tucking the smooth material of her dress under her thighs. She lifts the lid open to reveal as a row of pure ivory keys march into view. I take a sip of water and clear my throat, preparing my voice. 

"I didn't know that you could sing, Mina", Sana giggles.

"I'm not as spectacular as Jihyo, but I sing every now and then just for the hell of it", I acknowledge, "I normally don't sing in front of others."

Sana settles down in a petite chair in front of us, "I'm excited."

I nod at Chaeyoung to begin the piece, and her fingers graciously hover over the keys as she brings out the harmonic part to Songbird by Eva Cassidy, her playing as sublime as moon and the stars above us. I swallowed the lump in my throat and in some air, clasping my hands together to stop the tremble. The first note came out warm and soft, and my cheeks redden. 

For you there'll be no crying
For you the sun will be shining
'Cause I feel that when I'm with you
It's all right I know it's right

Songbird is one of my favorite non-classical songs because it's about lovers and friends. I want to portray to Sana how much she means to me and how much of a big role she has played in my life. I want to tell Sana how much of a great person she is. Narratives about Sana's life hits me hard. She has gone through grievances to get to the point where she is now. Tears begin to well up in my eyes as those lyrics came to light. 

And the songbirds keep singing
Like they know the score

This bittersweet line shows that even though there will be sadness in a relationship, happiness will always come. The truth is that Sana and I don't know the "score" — we'll never be able to predict when the anguish or rough times will come. I'll never know when I'll be ready for "that moment". But what we can hope for is a happy ending. What we can do is provide each other unconditional support in the face of tribulation.

And I love you I love you I love you
Like never before

This song gets it's hint of melancholy from the fact that, in spite of one's best intentions, they might never really have that much control over love in the end. I know for the fact that if I were to become involved in a romantic relationship, it would be difficult for me to reciprocate my feelings because I'm just not good at "doing love". All I can do for the moment is repay Sana for all the kindness she has showed me.

To you I would give the world
To you I'd never be cold

I want Sana to have all the opportunities that she never had. 

Cause I feel that when I'm with you
It's all right I know it's right

Sana had encouraged me to stay alive when I could've made the alternate choice.

And the songbirds keep singing
Like they know the score
And I love you I love you I love you
Like never before Like never before

I want Sana to know how much I appreciate her. 

And I wish you all the love in the world,
But most of all, I wish it from myself.

I just want to be there to comfort her in the vice of those times.

And the songbirds keep singing,
Like they know the score,
And I love you, I love you, I love you,
Like never before, like never before.

I love Sana. Perhaps not in the same way as I did when we were children. I believe that our relationship will progress past just being "friends". We haven't taken the farthest step into a relationship yet; I don't want to go that far. I want to safely consider that we're more than just friends, but less than romantic partners. I noted the pink cheeks on Sana's face as she smiled. I hope that she keeps that smile. The death of her father and Yoona, the chagrin of being last chair in a youth orchestra, whatever — I just want to erase those bad memories from her head. 

Sana cupped her hand over in elation, blissful tears streaming down her face at me and Chaeyoung’s gift to her. 

"That was beautiful", she cried. There wasn't much else that needed to be said.

The Eighty-Seventh Measure 

Saturday: December 26, 2020

Christmas is over and the fifth day of the festival is about to begin. On a beautiful Monday afternoon, the sun made its comeback with another shimmering sensation as the bitter, winter air from yesterday begins to settle down. However, I still felt very groggy from the hectic measures of last night. Because the window was still open in my hotel room, the icy air whistled through my ears, causing my pale skin to tremble and tingle. 

It is Day Five of the Parisian Winter Music Festival and things played out a lot differently than yesterday. The members of the Juilliard Orchestra were hectic because we had finished rehearsals late. The men were especially struggling to fit into their tuxedos (Or in their words, "monkey suits") while the women were complaining about sweating in their black dresses and forgetting their deodorant sticks for their armpits. Every one except The Six were changing their clothes in the women's dressing room, which was filled with girlish laughter and assorted perfume scents that wafted throughout the room in their own aroma, causing me to suffocate under the excessive smell of flora and citrus fruits.

There was a hint of fatigue in my eyes as I speculate my jaded form through the dressing room’s glass mirror. It as if my mirrored image was a dead corpse, my tired eyes bulging out of my eyesockets as I tried to keep myself awake. 

"What happened to my Mina? Why does she look sad?" Sana had just uncapped some cleansing oil for her valves when she noticed her my slouching figure through the reflection of her French horn's polished, golden bell. At least she stopped calling me "Little Duck".

I opened my mouth for a protest, "I-I'm not sa— ACHOOOO!!"

"Sick again? I thought you promised us that you would take care of your health before the festival", Sana sighed with a soft smile, pulling her honey blonde hair into a loose bun before handing me a Kleenex wipe from the tissue box, "Wipe your nose with this. You don't want to have snot flying out of your nose while we're playing."

"That would be embarrassing", I croaked, then turned to the percussionist sitting next to me, "Do you know what time we're performing?"

Chaeyoung finished applying her makeup before addressing me, "I believe that we’re after the Berlin Philharmonic."

So we get to see Sunny perform. Cool.

"The Berlin Philharmonic? That's Sunny's orchestra!" Sana squealed, leaping from her chair and nearly knocking down her horn, "Sunny told me that they're playing Tchaikovsky's 1812 Overture and Shostakovich's Twelfth Symphony — both brass-heavy pieces!"

"Juilliard Orchestra is on standby!" a staff member announces in a thick French accent.

Here we go.

From the sidelines, all of the Juilliard Orchestra members remained still as they listened to the almighty Berlin Philharmonic grace the stage with their captivating music. Kirill Petrenko stands proudly before his podium, his facial expression remaining serious and his shoulders stout until all of the musicians were ordered to sit. Sunny looks extremely relaxed in her seat despite now becoming a permanent member of the renowned ensemble. When Petrenko then he raises his baton, the orchestra runs off like a pack of lions as they begin to play Tchaikovsky's 1812 Overture.

The solemn piece moves on with the string section playing the heartrending Russian melody of O Lord, Save Thy People. Tchaikovsky intended to portray the increasing distress of Napoleon's Grande Armée advancing towards the Russian people.

*BOOM*

"Oh my! They're using REAL cannons in their performance!" an English news reporter (most likely from the BBC) talks from behind the curtains while a camera crew filmed his reaction, "Indeed, this is very exciting! As expected from the stimulating, extraordinary Berlin Philharmonic!"

As the orchestra reaches the turning point of the invasion — the Battle of Borodino — a hired technician begins to trigger the electrical current that fires the cannons outside once again, startling the oblivious concertmistress as she unintentionally brings the tempo up a notch. The entire string section starts to become startled, sharing nervous glances with their stand partners while trying to keep up with youthful concertmaster Noah Bendix-Balgley's rhythm at the same time. The cellists draw their bows across their instrument skillfully, like it was dancing upon strings.

It wasn't long before a pack of woodwinds joined into the eccentrically expeditious piece, whipping through the opening run in a collection of dominant notes. It was impressive — they conquer like a flock of outraged geese competing over a loaf of bread. They're a bunch of soloists melded into one homogenous sound. Herbert von Karajan, conductor of the Berlin Philharmonic for thirty-five years, quoted that The Berlin Philharmonic functioned "like a jockey and a horse. You are there but it's the horse that does everything." Sir Simon Rattle also told CNN that, "The first thing you have to realize is you cannot tame this orchestra. This orchestra is a panther and they go and they run."

Next came subsequent ringing of the carillon bells initiated by percussionist Franz Schindlbeck. A scowl was implanted on the conductor's face as he eyed every instrument excluding the brass section, the members counting rests while still waiting to make their grand entrance. One of the younger trumpeters was nearly on the verge of falling asleep until the victory bells woke him up.

*DING DING DING DING DING*

The obnoxious ringing of the bells drowned out the quickened sounds of the hastening strings and woodwinds, letting the brass section come in with a triumphant execution of the Eastern Orthodox Troparion of the Holy Cross as they depict a picturesque image of Moscow citizens carrying out their method of Slash and Burn Agriculture, or if simplified, the burning of crops to prevent the French from regaining the nutrients of the Russian's abandoned meals. The overture soon reaches its with the exultant anthem of God, Save the Tsar insituated by the thundering brass section, grounded by Sunny's mighty bass trombone. Her section mates grinned with their lips still attached to their mouthpieces.

With Tchaikovsky's glorious piece coming to a dignifying end, there was a huge pause before the Berlin Philharmonic commenced Shostakovich's Twelfth Symphony. Petrenko waited for the musicians to catch a breath before moving on to the next piece. 

The Berlin Philharmonic sweeps through the first three movements like a racehorse, as Herbert von Karajan mentioned. Or perhaps like a panther, like Sir Simon Rattle reported. The fourth and final movement is what brings everyone on the edge of their seats, mainly because of the brass. All of the parts are marked fff or fortississimo, meaning "very, very loud". The movement begins with a string of march-like themes b with a pompous demeanor. The pace of the piece amplifies and the orchestra swirls with musical currents that burst with celebration.

Near the end, the brass proceeds to sweep everybody off their feet; flip the earth on its entire back with their clamorous yet harmonious sound. A commanding timpani solo acts as the stomping of feet, rising from the ashes. Jeongyeon would die to play this solo. The final horn call is made and the trombones eat up the air to bellow into the concert hall. thundering like a throng of lions. It leaves me breathless. 

"My god..." Sana had no words for this impressive performance.

"Sunny is amazing", Seohyun's sweet voice whistles in my left ear, "She's the second female member of the Berlin Philharmonic's brass section after Sarah Willis. Pretty amazing how a small-town girl made it into a big city orchestra. Sunny tells me that she still thinks she's in a dream."

At the last moment, with a great deal of effort, Petrenko reveals his triumphant ending. The last note ends on a B flat, which delivers the sad minor version rather than a spunky, spright B natural. The Black Swan also ended on a low B Flat. There was no doubt that the Berlin Philharmonic would receive an astounding applause. The audience members just couldn't hold it in. A man from the standing room bawled an intense "BRAVO!" and spectators were hollering and screaming in joy and satisfaction, a sensation that I've never seen in an orchestral setting. It is the Berlin Philharmonic after all and they're known to have a loyal fanbase and season ticketholders.   

All the orchestra members get off their feet to give their final bows, all before turning back to the backstage area. Sunny exhaled a heavy sigh, her small figure still slumped against the support of Seohyun with her hulking bass trombone still clutched in her hands. The girl was extremely tired from all that loud playing she executed earlier; her face was pale and her lips were chapped. 

"You were fantastic out there", Seohyun heartens the older girl, her smile reading that she's eternally grateful for her existence. 

"Were? You mean I was never fantastic in the first place?" Sunny still retains her sassy attitude and it makes the pianist giggle. 

"Oh, unnie. You're always fantastic!" Seohyun extends to please the older girl.

"GOOD EVENING LADIES AND GENTS!" the presenter of the festival calls in a booming voice that nearly breaks my eardrums.

"Jesus Christ..." Sunny grumbled under her breath.

Another trombonist from her section joins in on her rant, "What the hell was the festival committee thinking? Hiring a madman of an announcer?"

"And now for our sixteenth performance of the day, we have the fascinating Juilliard Orchestra with their rendition of Ravel’s Piano Concerto in G and Sibelius’s Fifth Symphony”, The emcee devotedly puts the enthusiasm into his voice as the audience grows hungry for even more music.

"I wish that man would shut the up", Jun muttered over to me as he readies his instrument.

"Well, I can't do anything about it", I shrugged indifferently.

"PENGUIN-CHAN! LET'S PLAY LOUD AND PROUD TODAY, OKAY?" a certain brown-haired clarinetist smacks my .

"JENNIE? WHAT THE HELL?" I squawk. Even my voice was clear enough to reach the back of the orchestra.

"Break a leg, you guys!" Sunny yells out to me and the others.

The Eighty-Eighth Measure

The emcee finishes as he flourishes towards The Juilliard Orchestra — with Seohyun at our side. We begin tuning our instruments while Seohyun settles herself on the piano bench placed in the middle of the stage, the conductor's podium located next to the grand Yamaha piano.

Maestro Gilbert taps his baton against the rim of his music stand, calling the orchestra to order as he prepares to commence Ravel's audacious composition. I prepare to cover their ears with the earplugs Dr. McIntosh administered to me. My cold simmers down when the warmth of the stage lights hit me and I hear my name being called from all the way in the back row of balcony seats. It's "The Crack Squad" and my fanclub, proudly holding up LED illustration boards with my name as well as Sana's and Chaeyoung's. I'm surprised that they're allowed to bring them in.

The 4-7-8 method. Inhale through my nose to a mental count of four, hold my breath for a count of seven, and exhaling through my mouth to a count of eight. Rinse and repeat.

Let the concerto begin.

As the conductor raises his bow to signal the readiness of the orchestra, Seohyun placed her long, well-trained fingers on the piano's glistening keys, ready to dance on its ivory wake. Nodding at the conductor to ensure his promptitude, Ravel's elaborate piano concerto begins with a whip-crack initiated by the orchestra's avid percussionist, Son Chaeyoung. The piece then moves on with Seohyun's vivid piano playing mixed in with Kim Sohee’s dancing piccolo and Jennie Kim’s docile clarinet before the background instrumentals transition to Im Jaebum's loud, triumphant trumpeting blended with the acquiescent string section and an underlying drum roll played by Himchan.

After a flurry of orchestral sounds, the piano's sound is now dominant with the accompanying winds that were previously present: The piccolo, clarinet, and trumpet. The piano then ceases to a stop and the orchestra thunders its existence with each section adding to the underlying theme, ultimately drifting into a peculiar, dream-like statement from the piano. The oration is brief as the orchestra withdraws into a jazz character, fluctuating between major and minor modes.

Seohyun's characteristic piano playing is then accompanied by the string section as well as Kyla Massie's mystic, heavenly harp playing. The embellished piece ends with a reinstatement of the jazz theme and a lively coda before a rather amorouso scale is emitted from the brass section. 

By the time the concerto finished, the broad audience bursts into an exploding applause for the brilliant, magnificent music they brought today.

"BRAVA!" A plump woman cries from the front row of seats, rising to her feet as the rest of the spectators follow.

The audience then breaks into passionate cheers and give a standing ovation, impressed by the youth and skill level of the orchestra members, especially featured pianist Seohyun, who is fresh out of college and had just gcompleted her first performance with The Juilliard Orchestra today. It was indeed an emotional and inspirational experience for her as well as the young musicians standing on this stage today. But alas, our journey is not over yet because we still have to pave our way through Sibelius’s Fifth Symphony, also known as "A Song for Swans."



I believe that the most beautiful part of the first movement is the double exposition, wherein the horns and the bassoons careen their tender and silvery notes like two different birds — the white swan and as Chaeyoung theorizes, marriage with the black swan. The timpani, on the other hand, provides a middle ground and imitates mother earth with its groundbreaking yet soft rolls. The three of practiced this part together several times.

My ears easily recognized Sana's hearty, euphonious tone color's every note of crystal-clear, mellifluous resonance from her beloved instrument. Sana's horn is the first instrument to come into play, weaving through a thread of notes from the lower horns like a delicate bird gliding through a brilliant sunrise. Then the bassoons, including me, provide texture to the horn's melody as to imitate that same bird flying through a forest. The quivering strings and Chaeyoung's tremulous timpani-playing asserts the essence of wind and earth.

When the short bassoon solo comes, I ignored my cold and drew oxygen to my lungs. Placing the reed on my lips, playing as warmly and reedy as possible. I close my eyes as to not focus on anybody that could be peering at me with flinty eyes. Despite having hearing protection and having half of my hearing alreayd depleted, the solo goes on without a hitch and I release a sigh. I look behind to see Sana and Chaeyoung smiling at me.

The first movement grows naturally, from ambiguous beginnings and the monumental emergence of a theme of fascinating grandiosity, through the scherzo which acts as a bird surging with life and growing ever more elegant and nimble-footed.

The last movement is the best movement. Concertmaster Kai invites the string section to play in tremolo as to emulate fluttering. Woodwinds mirror the effect like ripples in a lake. They climb higher and higher until at last, the horns arrive to convey the majestic call of the swans.

Sana some air into her capable lungs, lips pursed together before letting her instrument come into contact with . A stupid smile creased on her face as she blissfully played the swan-call motif. The girl was at ease with music, her virtuosic fingers flying precisely over her horn's polished valves while staying rhythmed with her composed breathing, letting her tone come out steady and relaxed in the comfy opera house.

Yes. This effect is what Sibelius's notes as the famous swan-call motif with horns playing chords. Sana and her troope arrive like the breaking of dawn, painting the sky with the colors of warmth and love just like swans making a canvas in the lake with their strides. Sana envelops the orchestra with her horn sound like a swan tending to eggs and newborn cygnet. Tears bloomed in my eyes as I looked back to watch Sana play, her generosity and eternal grace reflects in her music. My god. She looks so beautiful and sublime, just like the white swan. 

She isn't the only great one; Chaeyoung shouldn't be pushed away either. Along with the stars, Chaeyoung is the big, romantic sun that acts as a inspirational fire in the coming sunset, her timpani rolls as intense as the colors of the sky. It didn't matter to her that she was deaf, because she was still making engrossing music in the long run. Jeongyeon would be so proud of her. Her music would lead the orchestra to be a powerful symphony building up, becoming more emotional and innovative as the music proceeds to reach the finale.

The end of an orchestral work always has me breathing heavily because of the amount of air required to fill a bassoon on a regular playing basis. But today was different because of my cold mixed in with the usual symptoms. In addition, Sana's emotional playing catches me off-guard and I nearly choke on my spit. With the gradual onset of affliction increasing over every minute, each blow through my reed acted like a thousand needles pinning me down to my last warm breath. I feel so lightheaded that I could pass out.

Upon arrival to the last few measures, my eyes flew open at the sight of my parents sitting in the front row. I felt imminent danger as soon as I saw my mother's excruciating eyes digging into my irritable brain as I slowly moved through passages. My hearing cancels out for a minute before realizing that the orchestra came to an abrupt pause. I glanced back to my father, who was yawning in the light of broken silence.

*CRACK*

No, no, no, no, no. This can't be happening.

A lone bassoonist had continued to play after everyone else had cut off. My hearing comes back into tact and I find that my fingers are still glued to the keys and the fingerholes, and I'm still breathing. That lone bassoonist isn't Mingyu, Joshua, Vernon, nor Jun; it's me. My bassoon just cracked in front of Sana, Chaeyoung, "The Crack Squad", my other friends, the other eminent orchestras waiting backstage, The Six — basically, the world.

But even worse, I ed up in front of my parents. 

I don't know how I can live like this.

BONUS (Sana's Birthday Bash)

Wednesday: December 23, 2020

Today isn't exactly Sana's twenty-first birthday, but I learned that we're celebrating it early because we have another event taking place on the 29th.

After going out into the city, Chaeyoung and I were greeted by numerous bottles of nail polish and makeup essentials, copious amounts of beverages and delicacies set on the dining table, colorful balloons, loud music roaring from Eunha's smartphone, sleeping bags, and pillows sprawled all over the floor. Romantic stories, female gossip, pillow fights, girlish laughter, video game wars, and excessive drinking was shared amongst the girls, who were partying hard in their pajamas as assistant concertmistress Eunha took the role of being their DJ. 

I was flustered at this flamboyant display, "What the hell is going on?"

"We're celebrating Sana's birthday with a slumber party at your hotel room!" Eunha noisily announced as she turned up the volume of the party music to full blast. She racked up EDM renditions of Oh My Girl songs and it makes Nayeon scream in delight.

"You invited all of these people?" I gawked at the amount of people feasting in this exorbitant, insane sleepover.

"Of course!", Eunha shouted over the cacophonous music that was defeaning their guest's ears.

I looked around the room to see who was attending the slumber party. Jeongyeon and her "Crack Squad" are loitering in the kitchen. Immediately, I spotted a drunken Sowon sprawled all over my bed. Eunha's boyfriend, Jackson Wang, was too engaged in a Super Smash Bros. battle with Dahyun to acknowledge Chaeyoung and I. SinB and Yerin were fixing each other's hair and applying nail polish to their fingernails and toenails while sharing light, girly conversations. Momo, the life of the party, proceeded to drag Chaeyoung and I into this mess before we could even resist.

"MOMO, WAIT—"

"COME IN MY FRIENDS!" Momo ecstatically yelled as she drawed us in by the wrist, "THE PARTY HAS JUST BEGUN!"

"Is everybody here?" resident party-maker Jeongyeon inquired while scanning the room, "Bassoon-chan! How was your double date with Sana and Chaeyoung last night?"

"WHAT???" I shouted, giving the timpanist an expression of bewilderment.

Jihyo laughed heartily, "She's just kidding! Let's start the party games while we're waiting for Sana!"

The girls gathered on top of Yerin and SinB's shared bed, which was next to my bed. It seemed that they were planning something suspicious for their male guests. However, I didn't bother joining into their conversation and rather, I took (or at least tried to take) a nap instead to relieve my throbbing headache. My bed was still in the same condition as it was last night: the sheets and blankets were disheveled while the pillows were mindlessly tossed onto the floor during a thrilling pillow fight that Chaeyoung and I were lucky to have missed. Jackson awkwardly watched the girls from the kitchen as he poured himself a bottle of champagne into a glass tulip.

"Jackson-oppa!" Jeongyeon loudly and drunkenly called, "Don't be so shy shy shy! Join us!"

"No! You guys should invite more boys over!" He demanded, feeling outnumbered by the amount of girls conjugated in the room.

Tzuyu swayed up to the apprehensive man, giving him a sadistic look that put the poor guy in disposition, twirling a strand of his untidy black hair, "Are you hesitant because you're the only guy here?"

"Stop that!" Jackson slapped away her misguided hand from his head.

"C'mon, oppa! You're going to have fun with us, won't you?" another drunkened girl, Im Nayeon, playfully dragged the Pops Orchestra's concertmaster to the enormous, luxurious bathroom where Yuju, Sowon, and eventually Umji were waiting with hair curlers, makeup, hair accessories, colorful wigs, female clothing, and tons of rogue provided by none other than the fashion princesses: Hwang Eunbi and Jung Yerin.

"Chaeyoung! HELP ME!" he turned to the percussionist for help. But unfortunately, she gave no reaction as she was sleeping peacefully on the bed whilist hugging her mallet case as if it were a body pillow. Did Jackson forget that Chaeyoung is deaf?

Oh God...

"It seems that Sungmin-oppa will be our first test subject of the night!" Yuju blithely cheered, wielding a large masacara brush on one hand and a huge eyeliner pen on the other hand. Not only that, but they left the bathroom door open for everyone to see the action.

"Yah! Are you kids drunk?" He attempted to scold them using the 'senior card' but sadly, it did not work on his hoobaes, "Momo! Help me!"

"I'm sorry. I can't help you. Jeongyeon and the gang bribed me with this", Momo smiled apologetically, heading to the kitchen to observe the poor man, sitting down to enjoy a large platter of pig's trotters (also known as jokbal) right before her eyes.

The entire makeup experience was a drag for the harassed man. It didn't help that Yuju and Sowon were bickering over what color they should use for his blush or what shade of eye shadow would look best on him while Umji scampered around the room to give them the assigned supplies. Yuju kept insisting that Jackson should go with a 'pure and innocent' look because of his cute facial features and his supposedly short stature (For a man, that is). However, Sowon wanted to divert from the whole 'cutesy' look and urged their assistant Umji to give him a cooler, ier impression.

So they tried to combine both looks, and the results were terrifying.

Jackson's upper lip was colored in a seductive red while his bottom lip was colored in a charming pink. His cheeks were ravaged with different hues of pink, magenta, fuschia, and red as if he just experienced having with a y woman for the first time. His eyes were so shadowed, it was almost frightening to Umji, who was lingering around the bathroom closet trying to gather Yuju and Sowon's requested attire for their disastrous guest. 

"My God..." Yuju starts to say, smirking at their completed procedere.

And if his face wasn't in bad enough shape, wait until you get to their fashion choice. He was wearing a ballerina-styled skirt that was cloaked in white chiffon with sheer organza ruffles draped around it. His top ended up being a black lingerie corset that consisted of a strapless bodice with dazzling jewels and a sweetheart neckline embroidered with fake diamonds and sequins. His short hair was tied up into an apple-style ponytail accesorized with a gigantic pink bow. If anything, he looked like the failed reincarnation of Odette and the black swan from Swan Lake.

"HOLY CRAP!" Jeongyeon shrieked, nearly dropping her bottle of champagne and slipping off the high chair as Yuju and Sowon proudly presented their 'science' project to the other girls.

In a flash, Jihyo whipped out her phone to take memorable photos, "Damn! I desparately NEED to show the other violists about this".

"Don't show them!" Jackson tried to snatch Jihyo's phone from her readied hands, but it was no use chasing the agile girl around the spacious hotel room while wearing four-inch heels and a long dress.

"You go oppa! Work that dress!" Dahyun's boisterous voice cries out from behind the couch, secretly filming the flimsy man trying to chase the tall-statured photographer, who proudly wavered her phone in the air for taking a successful batch of pictures.

Jackson focused his gaze back to Eunha, who was still being indecisive about what song to play next on her iPhone.

"Don't forget to send the photos to Eunha!" Momo said to Jihyo with a pig's trotter in , "She's going to LOVE this".

"DON'T YOU DARE!" He shouted, his face growing in rage as the principal violist tempted to press the 'send' button on her phone.

"Okay unnies, I think that's enough", The kind and innocent birthday girl, Sana Minatozaki, spared their tormented guest from any further misery as she entered our room. Saved by the bell, Jackson Wang rushed to the bathroom to take a quick shower and return to his regular clothes while the other girls resorted to their social media accounts to share their hilarious yet ludicrous collection of photos.

A few minutes later, Jackson returned with a towel draped around his neck, glaring indignantly at his oppressors.

"Don't worry, oppa. I'll call some of the male orchestra members to come here", Eunha paused her party playlist to make a call on her smartphone. It wasn't clear who she was talking to, but the girls assumed it was Bambam, one of the Pops Orchestra's percussionists, because of Eunha's use of informal speech towards the younger boy. Jeongyeon's face lit up at the sound of his voice, knowing that she won't be the only one drinking heavily tonight (Even though Bambam is the same age as Dahyun, Chaeyoung, Tzuyu, SinB, Umji, and Youngjae; and therefore, still underage). 

"Can I invite some of my guy friends over as well?" Jackson asked, preparing his cell phone.

Eunha raised a suspicious eyebrow at him, "Like who?"

"You'll know them once they arrive", Jackson assured, dialing down a couple of his buddies.

Eunha scratched her head, "Well, I guess its okay to invite some guy friends here. But don't turn Sana's party into a sausage fest or I'll cut you.

"WHEEE~!I'm going to have strangers at my slumber party!" The birthday girl piped up. Sana probably never had a lot of guests show up to her previous birthday parties. The other girls didn't mind having Jackson's male friends over as well. In fact, Jeongyeon was in favor of the idea. However, I started to feel jittery after realizing that I'm going to be surrounded by Jackson's loud- friends who will put an end to my eardrums.

"You better not tell your guy friends that we're strippers", Nayeon warned.

Jackson let out a slight giggle, "Why the hell would I do that? They're not interested into that kind of stuff!"

While Jackson was making his call, a quiet Youngjae returned with shopping bags filled snacks that he had bought from the nearest convenience store. Viennese assorted chips, popcorn, cookies, candy, crackers, cheeses, and dips & spreads were a part of the snackling lineup. The most important item that he stuffed at the bottom of the bag was Sana's birthday cake, in which he sneaked by and deceitfully hid in the refrigerator. 

"You guys! Let's finish our previous game of 'Truth or Dare' before more boys arrive", Tzuyu insisted, nudging Jeongyeon to begin the game.

Not this again...

"I don't want to!" Umji whined, folding her arms she let out a pout, "You guys made me t message Mina's private teacher!"

"YOU MOTHERERS MADE HER DO WHAT?" I cried at the mention of Umji's dare.

"It was Momo's idea!" Yerin focused her eyes at the culprit, who was sitting quietly while finishing her jokbal "Right Momo?"

"Huh?" the airheaded girl was confuzzled, "Well, I—"

*Knock Knock*

"I'll answer it!" Sana declared as she pranced towards the door, hoping to find ravishing guests.

"Hello! Welcome to—" her overjoyed voice ceased as soon as she encountered two familiar men standing at our doorstep. 

"Y'all know Mark, and Junior, right?" Jackson grinned.

Oh. My. God.

"Not these gays..." SinB muttered under her breath, knowing that Jackson had just invited our section mates that we see every day.

"You must be the birthday girl", Mark Tuan grinned flirtatiously, steadying the astonished horn player's fall as if he were creating a romantic, heroic scene from a fairy-tale, receiving a precipitous squeal from the female masses watching from behind (and a groan from SinB).

"C'mon hyung, stop cheating on me!" Junior nudged his amorous boyfriend.

"You know who Mark is?" I asked Sana.

She nodded, "He's in one of my classes."

"Come on you guys! Quit being cheesy!" Jihyo encouraged, smacking the Sana and Mark on the back to get their motor running, "We just started to release the beverages."

"Yeah! Let's bring out the Redbull!" Yuju chimed in with the short violist's enthusiasm, "Sana will become a legal woman!"

"Don't forget the champagne!" Sowon added, holding two massive bottles in her alcohol-scented hands, "We're tasting the stars tonight!!!"

After a few amusing yet tiring rounds of Spin the Bottle (Truth or Dare?), Call of Duty, Musical Chairs, Uno, and Twister, Chaeyoung finally woke up and Choi Youngjae finally brought out the birthday cake from the fridge. The cake he bought for Sana was a La Bête Noir, an French cake consisting of a marriage of chocolate and vanilla with semi-sweet chocolate mousse, vanilla crème brûlée, chocolate ganache, and vanilla bean infused syrup. Youngjae lit up the twenty-one candles circulating around the cake's edges before Momo turned off the lights for the candles to shimmer.

Jihyo initiated the traditional birthday song with her cheery, sing-song voice, "Let's begin! ONE, TWO, THREE!"

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO Y—"

*Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep*

"THE CAKE IS ON FIRE!" Nayeon screamed.

Without notice, a smoke alarm set off within the midst of the kitchen perimeter, alarming the party guests as the boys scurried in the dark to find a fire extinguisher while the girls screamed helplessly. A calm and composed Tzuyu walked to the nearest window to open the window frame, allowing the frosty winter wind to temperate the climate of the room. Eventually, the candle's flaring flames gave in to the frigid cold and set off on its own, not giving the birthday girl a chance to come up with a wish. There was a huge moment of silence for the fallen cake.

"Rest in peace, Sana Minatozaki's birthday cake", Jeongyeon intiates the sign of the cross on her body while putting her hands together in prayer.

"I swear, your cake seemed more like a Baked Alaska than a regular chocolate cake!" Mark joked, trying to lighten up the mood.

Sana didn't let the disaster get to her nerves, "Hah! I guess you're right!"

In the long run, everybody else gave into his jesting whim and laughed along, Jeongyeon slicing the cake for everyone to share as she tossed the destroyed candles into the trash can. While everyone was busy enjoying their delectable, appetizing chocolate cake, a lonely figure enters through the door that Sana left open after being started by Mark and Junior. Most of the girls (including me) reacted by shrieking before hiding under the dining table. SinB nearly falls off her chair in discombobulation, but Mark's tender hand once again steadied the girl's fall.

"Get your hands off me!" SinB swiped Mark's hand away.

"! WHAT IS THAT?" I wailed, my intimidated state causing everyone else to laugh at me.

"Omo! Mina is so cute when she's scared!" Dahyun banters and I gave her the finger.

"Now where's the switch...?" Youngjae murmurs to himself as his hand searches the walls, trying to locate the lightswitch.

Click!

"Ah!", His wandering fingertips landed on the switch, "There it is!"

At last, the wandering shadow is finally revealed: His adorable face was playing an expression of puzzlement and discomfiture at the startled party guests. He was holding a collection of movies that he brought from home. Most of them were horror movies, a genre that might disgust and/or terrify the girls (and Ryeowook) currently residing under the glass table. 

"BAMBAM!" Chaeyoung suddenly exclaimed upon the arrival of her percussionist buddy, thumping her head with one of the table legs.

Yerin's eyes grew wide, "Did Chaeyoung just speak?" 

"She's deaf, not mute you idiot", I mumbled. 

"Sorry I'm late. I was searching for my movies", Bambam apologized before walking up to the birthday girl, "Happy birthday, Sana!"

"Thank you", she smiled, walking up to the kitchen counter to hand him a plate, "I'll give you the last slice of cake."

Something came to Jeongyeon's outlandish mind as she glanced at the DVDs held in Bambam's hands, "You guys! I think I have an idea! Since we have a ton of snacks that Youngjae bought from the convenience store, let's have a movie night while I heat up the popcorn in the microwave. I'll have the birthday girl choose what movies we're going to watch for the night."

"I'd rather have you guys choose the movie for the night", Sana suggested as a token of gratitude for attending her party.

After a lengthy tournament of Kai Bai Bo (Rock-Paper-Scissors), Mark was the declared winner of the epic game. He knows that his partner, Junior, isn't very fond of war movies or any other film with brutal fighting scenes involved, ,ostly those that have to do with bazookas, cannons, bombs, other artillery, etc. Thus he decided to go with a horror movie since he doesn't favor romantic genres, much to the disappointment of the female guests. Also, that son of a knows that I hate horror and gore. The movie he chose was the first installment of the Saw series. 

"Is this a good movie?" Bambam inquired his friend as he identified the disc's gory cover.

Mark nodded, "Trust me, it's a real thriller! I watched this with Yugyeom and JB!"

"This better not be gruesome", SinB warned her ruthless friend, who was probably dismayed by their quarrel before The Juilliard Ball.

"No promises!" Mark giggled to himself, receiving a nasty look from Yerin's partner.

The beginning of the movie received no reaction from the audience, but once the main antagonist was introduced and the testimonies of his victims were revealed, the girls in the room started to become more skeptical as they watched one of the victims fight though a caged-in razor-wire maze and a man attempting to obtain an antidote from a locker, trying to avoid getting caught on fire by the candle he uses to locate the combination of the lock on the walls. However, the scene that disgusted the girls the most was the reverse bear trap, a mechanical contraption that is attached to the victim's head. If the victim fails to unlock it before the timer goes off, their jaws will be ripped and their face will be teared open. Eventually, the movie ended with the girls being more than appalled.

"THIS MOVIE IS DISGUSTING! WHY ARE WE WATCHING THIS?" Yerin complained as she clung herself to SinB's leg.

"Another one!" Mark ignored the older girl's rants and continued to play the next movie, The Human Centipede. ing . I've watched this movie with my other section. I kept hiding my face with my jacket for ninety percent of the movie and Jun wouldn't stop teasing me for days.

"We've already watched enough horror movies!" Yuju moaned, hoping for him to play a romantic film to relieve their jitters.

Jackson gave the violinist a fiendish expression, "This is payback for torturing me earlier. Besides, you proclaimed that the winner of the 'Kai-Bai-Bo' game would choose the sequence of the films. I won fair and square and you'll just have to deal with my decision."

"What did they do to you?" Junior curiously questioned.

"Don't ask", Jackson muttered.

Dahyun didn't seem so petrified about watching a second horror film, inching towards the door that acted as our only source of light, "Let's go!"

"NO! DON'T CLOSE THE DOOR!" I begged.

"Oh, I see! Mina's scared!" Dahyun teased, slowly closing the door as a tactic to torment me.

"I am NOT scared", I argued.

Sana is about to embarrass me again, "I can't sleep well because you have that nightlight next to your be—"

"SHUSH!"

"Mina is scared of the dark! Mina is scared of the dark!" Momo sings.

"Shut your mouth or else I'm going to throw this cake at you", I threaten, but then Momo just giggles. Oh yeah, food isn't Momo's weakness.

Mark ignores us, pressing the 'play' button on the remote.

This is where got real.

Much like the beginning of the first horror film they've watched, there was no sudden reaction. However, once a crazed German surgeon by the name of Dr. Josef Heiter introduces his three victims to the 'Human Centipede' project, screaming and hiding oneself behind another object was nothing short of normal. As he explained the surgery procedure and how he was going to carry it out, most of the girls (Especially those who tortured Jackson earlier) started to become weary as Jackson chuckled in his great glory, Chaeyoung and the other boys confused by their quarrel.

"STOP THE FILM!" I demanded, attempting to snatch the remote from Mark Tuan, the self-proclaimed 'Rock-Paper-Scissors' winner.

"What are you talking about?" Jackson brutally snickered at their disposition, "You're going to miss the best part!"

"What part?" Eunha innocently cocked her head as her boyfriend's query.

"THE OPERATION SCENE, OF COURSE!" Jackson heartily laughed as if he were the main villian in a Disney film.

Me and the other girls screamed and cringed as they were forced to witness the severing of the victim's body parts. Heiter detaches their ligaments in their knees so that they cannot get up on their feet and are forced to crawl. However, the part that triggers us to cower the most is the scene where he extracts the teeth of both women and dismembers the bottocks of one of them, including the Japanese man, who supposedly was intended to be the 'front' of this three-dog experiment. Finally, as he surgically transplants their mouths to each other's anuses, I screeched to the point where I might've woken up our neighbors and went as far as clinging onto Sana Minatozaki for comfort. 

Sadistically, Sungmin came up with a horrid joke, "You know what? Maybe I should make a human centipede out of the twelve girls in this room."

"NO, YOU! I'M NOT WATCHING THIS MOVIE EVER AGAIN!" I grimaced at the wicked man, getting up from my seat next to the horn player.

Sana pulls my arm, "Mina, wait! Don't leave me here!"

Mark opens his mouth for a tease, "Aww. Mina is so cute when she's sca—"

"SHUT UP!"

"You have a sick sense of humor, hyung. You know that, right?" Bambam admitted, sitting in the corner while munching on his popcorn.

"I know right", Youngjae agreed as he gave off an amused chuckle.

"I take that as a compliment", he proudly takes in his given title, "I get that a lot from Eunha as well."

"Now I'm REALLY curious about what Yuju and the others did to you earlier", Junior chimed in onto their joking bandwagon.

The movie commenced with Heiter using his finished experiment as a pet, training it and giving it commands as he spat racist jokes to the Japanese man assigned to the front. As soon as he's forced to defecate, the victim placed in the middle is forced to swallow his excrement while the doctor ruthlessly watches for the use of his own entertainment. This scene caused the boys to grin and chuckle as the girls clutched to the nearest person to hold on to their disgust (Yes, even Dahyun had the instinct to hang onto Tzuyu).

"Wait", Nayeon paused the movie, regarding what Jackson had said in his first comment, "What did you mean by making the 'twelve' of us into a human centipede. There are thirteen girls currently in this room. Who is the one girl that you're leaving out?"

"Chaeyoung didn't do anything to torture me", he straight-forwardly replied before snatching the remote from Nayeon's trembling hands.

After the end of the movie, the girls were finally at ease to hear that the romance film was up next. This time, the boys started to become listless and drowsy as opposed to their excitement and merrymaking upon watching the two horror films. The personality of the girls improved as well, squealing in either awe or shock at every kissing scene, causing Jackson to roll his eyes. However, he felt that he wasn't alone, as Eunha also felt boredom while watching the cheesy chick-flick. Ultimately, Jackson offered to have Eunha's head rest on his lap before dozing off along with her.

"Aren't they cute?" Sana nudged me to point at the couple, an amused grin adorned on her face.

I shook my head, "Eunha is too good for Jackson."

"What do you find in an ideal man?" she suddenly asks, motioning to my bed and crawling under the sheets.

"Man?"

"Or woman...? Whatever?" Sana scrambles in her words, "Wait, let me rephrase this. What do you find in an ideal partner?"

"I..." I contemplate, rocking back and forth in my bed as I'm hugging a pillow, "I guess someone who matches who I am."

"So you want somebody who's rich, hot-tempered, perfectionistic, and too scared to even sleep in the dark?" 

"Excuse me?" I hit Sana over the head with my pillow. 

"OW! I'm just kidding!" the horn player laughs, ruffling my red hair, "But whatever decision you make, whether you decide to be in a relationship or remain single, I hope that you're happy in the end. You can have the choice of becoming a lonely cat lady for the rest of your life and still be happy. Just don't tell Sunny that I told you that. She's still single and living alone in Berlin with two cats." 

A/N: Welp, I didn't realize that I had written another lengthy chapter. In fact, this chapter is longer than the previous chapter (Almost 14k words!). Were you surprised at this chapter? Sunny's conversation with Mina? The surprise cameo by Kwon Yuri, principal character of The Bucket List? Sana's birthday party? What do you think will happen to Mina after she cracked a note in the public eye? I'd love to hear your opinions!

I can totally imagine Mina singing Songbird.

For the first time in this story, I'm going to have a multi-part bonus elaborating on the past of the San Francisco Youth Symphony Members — fragments of memories that can't be told nor seen through the eyes of Mina since this story is written in from Mina's point of view. That will be soon.

Get ready for the next chapter. is about to go down.

Characters