ARC ONE

scherzo
Origin: Italian, literally 'jest.'
A light, "joking" or playful musical form, originally and usually in fast triple metre, often replacing the minuet in the later Classical Period and the Romantic Period, in symphonies, sonatas, string quartets and the like; in the 19th century some scherzi were independent movements for piano, etc.

DISCLAIMER: The personalities and opinions of these characters do not represent those of actual idols themselves, the Juilliard students, the New York Philharmonic, or any of its employees. The Juilliard School is not responsible for the accuracy of information.

A/N: Apologizes for the late update everyone! I had college midterms and I had to write three papers in addition >__<" Trust me, I'd rather right this story rather than write just some ing essay. I hope you're all doing well and I also hope that I didn't torture you by waiting for too long. Also Hibike! Euphonium 2 is out and I'm so on about that . Can't wait for TWICE's comeback too because I pre-ordered both albums — apricot ver. and magenta ver. (R.I.P my wallet). But hey, at least I get the pre-order bonus like the extra poster and the photocard set.

ANOTHER IMPORTANT NOTE — Everytime Mina, Sana, Chaeyoung, or any other deaf character decides to communicate in sign language, the font will look "like this". This means that the words within the quotations (e.g. what the characters are saying) will be italicized.

Let's begin, shall we?

I thought of TWICE's Truth while writing this chapter :)

The Forty-Eighth Measure

Sunday: October 11, 2020

"Girls, thank you so much for all of your hard work today", Ms. Chan grins as Sana, Chaeyoung, and I are about to depart. I had to inwardly laugh at that statement because the only manual job that was assigned to me was sharpening pencils during our three-hour shift. 

"See Mina? I told you that work wouldn't be that bad!" Sana slaps my back.

Sana was right, actually. I didn't have to do anything except sharpen pencils since nobody visits the Disability Resources Center other than Son Chaeyoung. And after finishing such a simple task, I spent the most of my time studying my current repetoire and writing important notes on my sheet music. I also finished all of my homework for the week so I had time to learn a few hand signs from both Sana and Chaeyoung. I can construct a simple sentence yet at the moment, my skills could only be classified as basic at best.

That's right. I'm beginning to learn sign language. Not because I didn't have faith in my hearing abilities, but because I've realized that it's boring and straining to keep jotting down notes on Chaeyoung's sketchbook rather than have a face-to-face conversation. And then whenever Chaeyoung would be pulled into such a long group, nobody would say a single word to her. Everyone in the area would forget about Chaeyoung because she can't listen in on any conversation. She didn't have her hearing aids either because her parents couldn't afford to buy her a new set to insert into her ears. The sketchbook just acted as a convenience to those who can hear, but Chaeyoung sought it as tedious because her wrists would be swore from playing percussion instruments, namely those in the mallet category, and she wouldn't have much of the strength to write on each page. 

Chaeyoung's hands go up and her eyes glitter at me, "Your sign language is good."

"Thanks", I gesture back.

Chaeyoung is communicating with Sana, using hand signals that I'm not quite familiar with yet. Then Sana turns to me to open , "Chaeyoung is quite surprised that you picked up sign language quite fast. You learned twenty words in one day!"

I shrugged, "I guess that I tend to memorize things easily."

"That makes me wonder why you couldn't pick up standard Japanese as fast", Sana pesters.

My elbow jabs my friend's ribs, "Oh shut up!"

"By the way, whatever plans you have for today, throw it out the window", Sana dusts her baby pink jacket and looks extremely unrelenting, "Chaeyoung and I are going to treat you out to dinner before Juilliard Orchestra rehearsals tonight."

I stared incredibly at the horn player, "Are you serious? I need to practice."

"You always practice! You even skipped lunch and locked yourself in practice room for five hours this afternoon", she complains like a little girl whose mommy won't buy her favorite doll, "Mina, you need to take break. You need to take care of yourself."

I didn't see what her big deal was. "I'll just eat a bag of chips."

"You need to eat actual food, little duck", Sana repeats sternly.

"I didn't say that you could use that nickname", I inform the dopey girl, slinging my bassoon case over my back, "Now if you'll excuse me, I need to—"

We had already stepped foot outside of the Meredith Wilson Residence Hall when Chaeyoung pulled my arm and gawked at me, dejectedly. Her shoulders were slumped and her eyes cast down onto the concrete floor in a mournful gaze, like a dog that would have their head hung down low after being scolded by its owner. was set in a semi-pout. 

Dammit. Now I feel like a bad person again.

"Fine, I'll go", I tell Sana.

"Yippee! Mina is coming!" the blonde girl jumps up and down and claps her hands in a rapid motion.

The Forty-Ninth Measure

When Sana mentioned that she and Chaeyoung would take me out to dinner, I didn't think that we would be taking a long-, forty-minute train ride from the Lincoln Center to The Bronx via the New York City metro. The train car was so crowded that I had to prop my body against the sliding doors. And whenever passengers filed in and out, I had to move out of their way. I was more scared of getting mixed into the crowd and losing my instrument than falling off the platform and stepping unto the train tracks on accident. I didn't want the past circumstances to come into play again, so I hugged my bassoon case close to my chest so that it never left my sight.  

"Where are we even going?" I had to raise my voice over the whining railroad tracks.

"Dahyun and Tzuyu's", Sana responds, her arm suspending from the train ring above. Her left hand has gotten so red from holding onto the wrap so tightly for a long period of time, so she switches to her right hand and transfers her horn case to her left hand.

I've noticed that every time I the train comes to a stop, I temporarily lose my hearing until I step outside and the rampant noises of the train station begin to die down. I have to endure eight stops before we even reach our destination, and that doesn't take into the account the amount of time it takes to walk from the Third Avenue-149th Street station to their living space in Mott Haven. I had to pinch my nose with my fingers to fend off the pungent smell of cannabis as the three of us scurried down the sidewalk, outrunning the strong winds.  

Dahyun and Tzuyu share a one-bedroom in a subsidized apartment building, also known as a public housing project. They cater to broke college students and low-income residents of the Bronx so the facilities aren't exactly spick and span. I recoiled at the afterimage of the shared bathroom down the hallways, which was somewhat in ruins. The formica laminate peeled from the vanities and the enamel was chipped in the sink. A thick line of grime made a high tide mark around the tub, hair was sticking out of the shower drain, and pink scum grew around toilet bowl. Tzuyu and Dahyun had just stepped out of their room when they noticed that I was about to puke onto the carpeted floor.

"That bathroom is a mess!" I griped, trying to inhale in whatever fresh air could brew from the opened side window of the hallway.

Dahyun mocked me by pressing my check with her sturdy, double-bass playing fingers, "Oh, Mina. You're such a princess."

" you", I snapped back at her.

Then Jeongyeon followed behind the slender cellist and the diminutive double bassist, "Bassoon-chan! You actually came!"

"Don't call me that!"

The three girls led me, Sana, and Chaeyoung into the quintessential apartment room when Momo Hirai introduced us to a wide table with an assortment of food — mainly Mexican food including four bags of nacho chips (*ahem* "actual food"), quesadillas, and an enormous bowl of some kind of cheese dip Momo claimed to have whipped up herself in Dahyun and Tzuyu's quaint little kitchenette. Much to my surprise, there's no sight of alcohol.

Jeongyeon heeds my thirsty expression, "Jihyo and Nayeon are fetching the booze from the corner store down the street."

Never mind what I had said about not having alcohol.

I shake my head, "I don't want to get waste—"

She just mentioned Nayeon.

I haven't reonciled with that girl since we broke out into a verbal brawl at In-N-Out. We don't even talk to each other in Pops Orchestra Rehearsals despite the two of us being arranged to sit next to each other every single day. Nayeon daydreams until Jeongyeon or Jihyo try to wake her up.

Either that, or she's just incredibly high on drugs.

Sana waves her hand in front of my face, "Earth to Mina! Earth to Mina!"

"Is she okay?" Tzuyu takes a glance at her girlfriend, whose legs are sprawled all over their green vintage couch while playing Titanfall.

"Mina will be awake once I announce the festivities that will take place today. Dubu, get your off the couch", Jeongyeon demanded, "We're going to play a fun game once Jihyo and Nayeon return from the cornerstore with the Corona."

Dahyun was half-listening, too engrossed in completing a mission in her precious first-person shooter game, "We're going to what?"

Jeongyeon sighed, "Dammit, Dahyun. I'm not going to say it again."

"Let's play 'Truth or Dare'!" Sana playfully insisted.

"Yes!" Tzuyu agreeed.

" no", Dahyun objected, dropping her Xbox game controller,  "You always gave me the dirty dares."

"That's what makes the game more exciting, you little ", Tzuyu chaffed, drenching her nachos in a crap ton of Momo's outrageous, homemade cheese dip. She shot teasing eyes at her indifferent lover. Dahyun retaliated by shooting nasty looks at the cellist.

"I agree with Chewy here", Jeongyeon nods, "Instead of making the choices optional, let's make the truth or dares go by random. And to make the occassion even more enticing, if you choose not to do a dare or tell the truth, then you have to take a shot of beer. "

Not this again...

"I'm sorry, what?" Momo said, confusedly.

"We'll flip a coin", Jeongyeon suggests, searching for a dime from her leather wallet, "If its "heads", then the choice is truth. If its "tails", then the choice is dare. And if you choose not to comply with either of the two events, then you have to take a shot of beer."

Tzuyu calls everybody to attention, "So I'm assuming that everybody is familiar with the rules, right?" 

"How do you play "Truth or Dare"?" I asked.

Dahyun choked on her glass of water, "Goddammit, Mina. You really do live under a rock."

"The game is pretty self-explanatory", Sana begins to explain, "If you get a "truth", then someone will ask you a question and you have to give an honest answer. If you get "dare", then you have to carry out the deed that the person instructs you to do. If you decline, then you have to drink."

I showed scorn, "Sounds pretty childish if you ask me."

Tzuyu snickers at me, "Oh trust me, Mina. You haven't seen anything yet."

As soon as Jihyo and Nayeon return with twenty-four bottles of Corona Light, all nine of us sit in a circle on top of Dahyun and Tzuyu's beige carpet, looking like a bunch of little school girls having a slumber party. Momo takes initiative to transfer all of the snacks from the dining table and throw everything in the middle of our circle, her uncannily cheese dip smack in the center of attention. Jihyo uncaps one of the beer bottles and steals a bunch of shotglasses from the kitchen cabinet, not bothering to wash any of them. Sana sits next to Chaeyoung so that she could act as her translator. 

"Alrighty!" Jeongyeon stands on top of a stool, declaring herself the leader of the group, "Let the games begin!"

[KIM DAHYUN]

Dahyun is the first person to go. She flips the coin and it lands on "Tails."

"Dubu's gotta do a dare!" Momo cheers.

"ing ", the double bassist swore softly.

"I want you to give your girlfriend a ", Jeongyeon cajoles.

Jesus Christ. It's only the first round and Jeongyeon is already raising the bar this high?

"Gladly", Dahyun exerts a creepy smile and Tzuyu is welcomely amused. I closed my eyes before Dahyun could even begin to sit on Tzuyu's lap.

[MOMO HIRAI]

Turns out that there was no lap-dancing. Dahyun just propped her on Tzuyu's thighs until the taller girl pushed her off.

Momo is the second person to go. She flips the coin and it lands on "Tails".

"Momo", Jeongyeon begins, "You know that young, hot bassoon teacher at Juilliard, right? The one in which every girl desires to sleep with? I want you to call and tell him, in a low and y voice, that you love him. So much that you're dying for his ."

"Which teacher?"

Jeongyeon must be talking about my private teacher, Dr. Cseszneky. I mean, the only other few bassoon teachers in Juilliard are all over the age of fifty and don't even look attractive in the slightest — one of them is openly gay and married, the second one is the dramatic German man that Mingyu always complains about, and the third one looks like a bootleg Gandalf from Lord of the Rings, minus all that magic.

"The Ryan Gosling look-alike", Nayeon clarifies.

"I don't have his number", Momo says, popping a chip in .

"Mina does", Sana announces.

"I'm not giving away my private instructor's number if you're going to admit that you have a craving for his d— HEY!"

Before I could finish my sentence, the horn player plucks my phone out of my purse and starts poking in some numbers. Wondrously, she bypasses my lockscreen and starts scrolling through my list of contacts. Sana stares at me, disdainfully, "Really, Mina? 1-2-3-4 is such a lame passcode."

"NOT OUT LOUD!" I scold. Awesome. Now I have to go through the trouble of making up a new passcode.

"Found him!" Sana exclaims.

I glared at her with contempt, "Don't you dare use my phone to call him."

"It's okay, Mina. We're not sadists", Jihyo assures, "Sana! Give me Mina's phone."

Sana pouts at the violist and she hands over my phone. Momo takes a few glimpses over Jihyo's shoulder so that she could copy down the number of my private teacher on her phone. I'm surprised at how coolly Momo acts when she dials down Dr. Cseszneky's number. I'm just sitting here, more nervous than a deer on a firing range, praying that my private teacher doesn't detect my voice. 

"What do I say again?" Momo asks as she waits for Dr. Cseszneky's voice.

"Say that you love him and that you're dying for his ", Jeongyeon induces.

"Please cut that last part out", I beg.

A few seconds later, he picks up, "Hello? Who is this?"

I'm ting my pants. He actually responded. 

"I..." Momo was drowning in discomfiture, and she responds completely opposite of what I instructed, "I LOVE YOU AND I WANT YOUR ."

NOOOOOOOOO

She briskly hangs up and tosses my smartphone over to me. I buried my head in my knees as I listened to everybody's cackling. Chaeyoung was still trying to self-comprehend the situation when Sana leaned over and explained to her in sign language. Then Chaeyoung started to laugh too.

[PARK JIHYO]

Jihyo is the third person to go. She flips the coin and it lands on "Heads".

"Have you ever thrown up in someone's car?" Tzuyu asks.

Jihyo was getting anxious. Like hail on a glass pane, the tapping of the violist's fingers was as relentless as it was loud. Each click of the french polished nails on the wooden floor echoed the tumultuous thudding of her heart beat. I've never seen her in a nervous state before.

"Yes", she coughed out, "In the back of Jeongyeon's van. After Nayeon's birthday party at the nightclub that Eunha was talking about."

Jeongyeon was brought back to attention after the calling of her name, "What? My van?"

"Jihyo puked in the back seat while you were driving us home from the "Asian Invasion" on my birthday", Nayeon reiterated.

The timpanist bugged out, "WHAT THE H—"

[YOO JEONGYEON]

Jeongyeon is the fourth person to go. She flips the coin and it lands on "Heads."

"Alright, prez", Sana initiates, "Have you ever wet someone else's bed from being too drunk?"

Jeongyeon's energetic mood had also taken a dramatic 180 degree turn after Sana had asked that question. A muscle twitched involuntarily at the corner of her right eye, formed a rigid grimace. She nibbled at the frayed, formed edges of her fingernails like a starving mouse.

"Yes", she her teeth, "Jihyo's bed after EDC New York."

The normally gentle violist scowled at her friend, "OH! SO IT WAS YOU WHO STAINED MY SHEETS!"

"Look. I spilled orange juice on your bed. You puked in the back of my car", Jeongyeon counteracted, "It's fair game."

That wasn't the type of "wet" that Sana was asking for.

[SANA MINATOZAKI]

Thankfully, Jeongyeon and Jihyo's flagrant fight sizzled down to a friendly yet rival-like laughter. I'm staring at the clock hanging above a golden-framed senior prom picture of Dahyun and Tzuyu. I'm silently hoping that the game will end soon because I don't like the direction these idiots are taking. I just want to go home and slip in a little bit of practice time before rehearsals begin. 

At least my stomach is filled, though.

Sana is the fifth person to go. She flips the coin and it lands on "Heads".

"What's the most embarrassing thing your roommate does?" Momo asks. She says the word 'roommate' and I know that she's talking about me.

"Hey! Don't drag me into this!" I begin to protest.

"Yeah, well", Jeongyeon hiccuped, "The questions don't have to pertain to the player themself."

Sana opened to speak, "Anyways..."

My eyes narrowed at her, "You wouldn't."

"I would", Sana snorted, "There's a lot of embarrassing things that Mina has committed in the past. But if there's one eccentric idea that sticks out to me the most, it's the fact that she doesn't sleep with her pants on because they always slip off her legs while she's tossing and turning in bed..."

Kindly shut up.

Sana is having fun with this question, "And you know what else? Mina sleeps with her bassoon case in b—"

"THAT'S ENOUGH!" I spat.

[CHOU TZUYU]

Tzuyu is the sixth person to go. She flips the coin and it lands on "Tails".

Jeongyeon walks over to the sink counter and seizes a tube of some kind of unknown green paste, "Alright, Chewy. Since you claim to be the Taiwanese goddess of spicy things, I want you to eat a spoonful of wasabi without drinking anything."

"Wasabi isn't from Taiwan, you uncultured piece of crap", Tzuyu fussed.

"Oh! So like the cinnamon challenge, right?" Sana brings up.

"Babe. I'll feed you". Dahyun acts sweetly as Jeongyeon squeezes out a huge blob of wasabi onto a spoon.

"Isn't this dangerous?" Nayeon her head, "I heard that you could get a collapsed lung because of this."

Tzuyu's mind changes instantly as soon as Nayeon says this, knowing that she's a smoker, "Forget it! I'm going to take shot of beer!"

[IM NAYEON]

Nayeon is the seventh person to go. She flips the coin and it lands on "Heads". 

"What's your biggest regret?" Jeongyeon asks Nayeon.

The clarinetist's laugh is shaky and self-depreciating, "Bickering with Mina."

What the...?

I did not see that coming.

"Expand", Jeongyeon challenged.

"After some news came across about Mina betraying Reina to protect Chaeyoung, I kind of started to gain more respect for her", Nayeon spills and I feel internally warm and nervous at the same time. "Mina has finally come to terms with herself and she left Reina's group."

Oh my goodness Nayeon, you've got that all wrong. I was just mad with Reina that day. I didn't know what the hell I was thinking when I—

"For Mina!" Jihyo exlaims and she raises a shotglass, everyone following suit. 

I zone out from the excessive cheering and my eyes dart at Nayeon, who is twirling her dark hair in endless circles with her index fingers. I don't know if I'm fully relieved because while I am glad that I'm free of Reina's almighty grasp and that I've made Chaeyoung's life a little bit better, I'm worried about the outcome of evading The Six. My parents are going to know for sure that I broke up with them because their parents are also members of the New York Philharmonic, and they're friends with my parents as well. Secrets are never safe with The Six. They take every opportunity to ruin the lives of those who leave them, just like what they did to Nayeon when they posted her nudes on social media.

You know what? I take that back.

I like the direction of where this game is going.

[ME]

"Mina!" Sana calls me back to Earth, "It's been your turn for a while."

I shake my odd senses off and flip the designated coin when it lands on "Tails". Aw crap.

"So what's my dare?"

" the wall", Dahyun jeers.

My previous worries about The Six washed out after the shorter girl revealed my dare, "Are you out of your damn mind?"

"Mina, you play a woodwind", Tzuyu knitted her eyebrows.

"Isn't the wall the same thing as your reed?" Momo blurts.

"Excuse you, but my reeds are more sanitary than anything that you idiots hang on that stupid wall!" I bicker. Then I give a fleeting look to Nayeon — a fellow woodwind — to defend me. But she just laughs hysterically as I'm faced with this disparaging "do or die" act.

Scratch that.

More like "do or drink".

I've decided that I'm not going to do the dare since I need my tongue to be in tact later on. I snatch the bottle of Corona Light from Jeongyeon and pour myself a glass. Swallowing hard, I gulp down my share of beer in one sitting. The other members just shrug and we carry on with the "Truth or Dare" game. Alright. No more shots of beer. You have orchestra rehearsals in two hours and you cannot play the Rite while you're drunk.

"Aww man, Mina. You're no fun", Momo slumps over.

"I am NOT getting splinters on my tongue before rehearsals", I defended.

"Pops Orchestra rehearsals aren't until tonight", Dahyun counters.

"She's talking about the Juilliard Orchestra", Jihyo corrects.

"Oh."

[SON CHAEYOUNG]

I think the alcohol is getting through me now.

Chaeyoung is the last person to go. She flips the coin and it lands on "Tails".

"Chaeyounggie", Jeongyeon stares at the younger girl. Sana is preparing to translate. "I want you to kiss the person sitting on your right."

"On the lips too", Momo deceitfully adds.

For a second, I forgot that she was even here. My eyes skimmed throughout the entire circle to spot where Chaeyoung is sitting. I didn't pay attention to the presence the smaller girl since she remained particularly silent throughout the entire game, laughing here and there if Sana transcribes each messy situation to her. Across from me is Jeongyeon, Momo, Nayeon, and Jihyo. Dahyun and Tzuyu are on my left. Nayeon is on Sana's right and Chaeyoung is sitting on Sana's left. I calculated that this could only mean one damn thing:

"Chaeyoung has to kiss Mina!" Dahyun yells.

"Pucker up, bassoon-chan", Jeongyeon gives me that face.

All of the other girls in the room are cheering for the percussionist to make the move. Chaeyoung's eyes dart to that one bottle of beer sitting next to Momo's cheese dip. And then her eyes dart to me. And then to the beer. And then to me. And then to the beer again. 

Please drink the beer. Please drink the beer.

Chaeyoung wipes off the remnants of the cheese dip from her lips with a napkin before applying lip gloss. The percussionist acts bold, doesn't even hesitate to take action at any time. She casts caution to the wind, do what Jeongyeon instructs, and leans in to brush my lips with hers. Everyone in the room squeals. 

So this is how my first kiss goes.

With someone who was a big fan of me.

Even my parents never kissed me 'goodnight' when I was a child. 

I've also learned that Chaeyoung isn't as innocent as I thought. I wanted to pull away before I could lose myself in the moment, but her kisses were too warm and too savory to resist. The dare goes on longer and longer than it should be. Oh god. I must be too drunk to keep kissing her. Before I could even expect much more, her hands trek up my shoulders and my arms subconsciously wrap around her waist. Shivers were sent down my back as we broke apart for air. Chaeyoung smirks so overjoyed at this opportunity. She's having too much fun with me.

We kept on playing for two more hours.

The Fiftieth Measure

"Mina", Sana chortles, "You really do have the worst alcohol tolerance among the group."

I had a lot of ridiculous truths and dares, so much that I chose to take the alcohol route instead.

I walked out of that apartment complex, more drunken by Chaeyoung's kisses than I've been when Sana and I played that musical drinking game. I don't even recall hearing a tingling sensation in my ears when we boarded the train heading back to Lincoln Center. My hearing zones out from the emphatic rumbling of the train wheels against the train tracks and I could faintly hear Sana and Chaeyoung giggling behind me throughout the entire ride. We arrived at the Alice Tully Hall fifteen minutes before Juilliard Orchestra rehearsals began.

At least Reina isn't here.

"Mina, are you okay?" Joshua asks, poking his head behind Mingyu.

I try to walk down the aisle of seats as cleanly and appropriately as I can, but my wobbly legs are telling me otherwise. They are swaying – left and right. I feel as if no matter how many steps I take, I’m no closer to where I want to be. 

"I think she's tipsy", Jun tries to whisper, yet I can still hear him.

Once I arrive at my seat, I slump down and press my fingers against my lips. It feels warm yet violated from Chaeyoung's excessive kissing. The aftermath feels even more harrowing and mentally agonizing than having two pieces of cane vibrate in between my lips, as I normally do. 

"You haven't even began to assemble your bassoon yet", Vernon mentions.

Oh no.

Just because I'm intoxicated, doesn't mean that I'm completely absent from my surroundings. I scramble to unlock my case and connect each joint accordingly. The boot joint, and then the tenor joint, and then the bass joint and— wait, no. The tenor joint goes on this side, and then the bass joint on this side, and then the bell and— wait, WHAT? The tenor joint should be here, and then the bell and— Holy crap. What the hell am I doing? Are my eyes deceiving me? Why can't I differentiate between each separate joint? This is bassoon basics 101.

"Let me help you with that", Mingyu offers to help as I struggled.

"Uhh... thanks", I say, abashed. 

I don't even have time to pour out my reed water so I just stick a double reed in my mouth and hope that it'll moisten with my own saliva.

Which I soon realized was a huge mistake. 

Alan Gilbert wouldn't be leading rehearsals today; it would be Kirill Petrenko, the current chief conductor of the revered Berlin Philharmonic and our guest conductor for the next concert. Instead of Polovtsian Dances, he insisted on going over and troubleshooting Mahler's Fifth Symphony — the longer of the two pieces included in the program. The moment I started to play, I crumbled. My reed was still dry and the opening wasn't wide enough to let in air. I found out that I needed to use much more air than I usually would to get out a decent sound. I burned out halfway through the Scherzo and my lips started to ache, both from my crappy reed and from Chaeyoung's kisses.

Oh my gosh. Chaeyoung's kisses.

The lingering aroma of her cherry-scented lips still remained and I would taste it everytime I placed my reed on my lips. It's almost as if she meant to leave a long-lasting mark on my possessions, reminding me of that sumptuous moment that we shared in Dahyun and Tzuyu's apartment even though it was just some stupid dare proposed by Jeongyeon a.k.a. the queen of parties and perpetual embarrassment.

Petrenko waved his baton, "Stop!"

Everyone ceased from playing their instruments and eyes fell to my direction. Oh god. What did I do? What did I do?

"First horn!" He indicates Sana Minatozaki and I feel a small weight being lifted from my chest. "Will you quit improvising and pay attention to the score? You're supposed to blend in and assimilate with your section mates but you're standing out too much!" 

Sana looked devastated.

"I know that you're the first horn and you're supposed to be the best player in the section but you're not supposed to express individuality here", he rambles and I suddenly feel the same weight being dropped down to my chest again. Poor Sana...

After Mahler Five, we drilled through Polovtsian Dances for the remaining amount time that we were allocated in the Alice Tully Hall. Then Petrenko ordered for the pit orchestra members (including me, Sana, and Chaeyoung) to stay behind and relocate to the David H. Koch Theater so that we can rehearse with the members of Juilliard's Dance Division. We missed Pops Orchestra rehearsals that day.

It was an unpleasantly cold autumn's night; dark, mystifying, the moon was sheltered by the murky looming clouds. I couldn't help but feel sad when I spotted Sana down in the dumps, robbed of her time just to stay with the Juilliard Orchestra. Trust me, I'd rather play Totoro than the Rite.

I was getting desparate to leave. My heavy breathing was drying with my lips and the cold air was stinging the cavity in my sweet tooth. The dew was glistening on my shoes and soaking into my socks, making me wish that my parched tongue was as moist as my footwear. Chaeyoung extended her arm and offered to hold my hand as we headed to the designated rehearsal space. For some reason, I felt this intimate closeness between me and Chaeyoung after that kiss, despite me being incompetent in sign language and still using basic phrases like "How are you?" and "Where's the bathroom?". I didn't know whether to feel awkward or at ease yet today, I felt comfortable around her even though our personalities are the polar opposite — me being the melodramatic and problematic one while Chaeyoung seemed to be the more reserved and supportive friend.

Having said that, I made another attempt at using sign language, "Is Sana okay?"

I didn't feel like asking Sana directly because she didn't seem in the mood to talk.

Chaeyoung replies in a simplified manner, enough for me to comprehend, "No."

I'm seriously going to work hard at learning sign language so that I could make a better connection with Chaeyoung.

The rehearsal space for our orchestra was considerably large, even though we're in the pit under the main stage. I've been in a couple of pit orchestras in LaGuardia so the feeling of being invisable wasn't so foreign to me as it was to Sana and Chaeyoung. On the bright side, I was able to sit much closer to Sana since the size of our orchestra was reduced by about two-thirds to fit into the pit. But then I learned something else.

I also sat fairly close to Yuzuna, Shuuka, and Somi. I didn't bother to stir up a conversation with them because I'm not so sure about the current state of our relationships after what I did to Reina. I feel even more uneasy now, being this compressed like tuna in a can. I don't even have space to lean my bassoon. The of my boot joint was almost touching Chiharu Muto's leg. Chiharu is the second clarinetist of the Juilliard Orchestra who would act as principal clarinetist for Shori while he's on suspension. Benji would be subbing for Reina.

Goddammit Mina. Stop thinking about The Six.

As I'm thinking of ways to distract myself from these thoughts, I hear my name being called from above, "Mina! You're in the pit orchestra?"

I maneuvered my head to where the voice was coming from and saw a familar figure standing on the main stage, "Hwang Eunbi?"

Otherwise known as "SinB", the tall and fair-skinned girl loomed over me, her dark hair fixed into a bun and her body wrapped in a black leotard, pink tights, and pointe shoes. Oh that's right, she's actually a dance major and just a weirdly dedicated member of my alleged fanclub.

"I'm so happy! You get to see me perform!" she squealed, jumping up and down. 

I'm thinking, I highly doubt that I can watch you dance from down here.

But before I could tell her that, Petrenko silences the orchestra and steps up to his conductor's podium. The dancers above, including SinB, disperse backstage to prepare for rehearsals. This time, I prepared a cup of water for a different reed so that I don't have to go through the trouble of on it. Saliva has a detrimental influence on cane, and will degrade the reed more gradually if you only soak the reed in your mouth.

I should have time to soak the reed, long enough to create a viable opening.

Hah. Wrong.

Petrenko didn't bog down any time and the Rite began without delay. I swiftly fished my reed out of the cup and placed it on the bocal when it became my turn to play (Which is the beginning of the Rite. God, you're so smart Mina Myoui).

He halted the entire orchestra, "Mina, you missed your entrance."

"Got it", I held my head down.

I prepared my embouchure again when I come to terms with the fact that my reed is still hard and hasn't been drenched long enough to open up. The opening solo punches the wind out of my lungs before I could recover to repeat the same phrase again.

Why is luck never on my side?

After rehearsals with the dance division, Chaeyoung took the metro home alone and Sana and I died in bed. We didn't even bother to take a shower or change into our pajamas. I've never seen Sana run out of steam this fast. Usually, she'd have enough spunk and energy to go out past midnight but today she has seriously had enough to deal with. Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day for the both of us.

But if there's one good thing that I can point out today, it's the fact that Nayeon actually said something nice about me.

Maybe Chaeyoung's kiss.

I should schedule my next appointment for my MRI, huh? Eh. I'll do it later.

BONUS (Professor Cseszneky)

Monday: October 12, 2020

Only a couple of days left before the Juilliard Orchestra's second concert and the recital for the Dance Division.

I showed up to my bassoon lesson with a hangover, and Dr. Cseszneky knew because my eyelids were getting droopy and he kept trying to wake me up. And then I finally woke up when he pushed away the curtains from the lone window on the wall and unleashed the sun.

"Rough night, huh?" he guessed.

I couldn't talk much, "Y-yeah..."

"Say, I had a funny occurrance that took place yesterday", my private teacher brings up, "Wanna hear?"

"Sure", I said, not really comprehending.

My ears could only nitpick a couple of details from Dr. Cseszneky's storytelling, like how he was at the MetLife Stadium with his New York Philharmonic friends to watch a Sunday football game featuring the New York Giants against the Eagles. I know nothing about sports, don't ask me. I was mostly resting my head on my bassoon as he talked about how the game went.

"And then when I was about to buy some beer for my buddies, I get this mysterious phone call", he laughs and I wake up, again.

Mysterious phone call?

Oh hell no.

"I pick up anyways because I thought that it would be my mother, who changed her data plan and stuff", he babbles, "But anyways, I pick up and this girl whom I swear to god sounds like my mom, says that she loves me and that she wants my... well... my arbor vitae."

MOMO HIRAI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

He uses a euphemism for "" but I already get the whole picture. I mean, I was there that evening when I was playing "Truth or Dare" with the idiots from the Pops Orchestra. Jeongyeon was the one who issued that dare to Momo.

Dr. Cseszneky is the type of guy who talks aimlessly about a topic, "I'm freaked out because I don't even know how she got my number but..."

Mina, you can't tell him that you gave Momo his number.

I attempt to change the topic, "C-Can we get back to our lesson?"

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