LEENA POV

“Mommy, can I have pancake today?” A dim voice comes from the hallway. I smile as I know it’s Clarence.

I stretch my body while turn to lie on my stomach, “Sure, honey, just give me five…” I open my eyes as I feel I touched something, just to find…

A man in my bed! T.O.P is lying next to me, in my bed!!!

When I’m about to scream, he lifts his index finger to his lips hurriedly, and slightly shakes his head. Then I heard the door behind me click open. I freeze, don’t know what to do.

 Seunghyun gingerly hides himself under the duvet as Clarence approaching the bed.

Oh my god, oh my god, what should I do now? Should I turn around? Or should I just pretend that I’m asleep?

Think! Leena Lee, think!

But my brain is barely functioning, my head’s pounding, my throat is dry. I hate hangover. Before I could react, Clarence climbs onto my back. “Mommy, wake up, it’s almost time for school.”

I feel Clarence stiffened. A second later he jumps from my back to the space between me and Seunghyun. “Uncle Superman!” he exclaims in joy, while pulling the blanket from under Seunghyun’s head.

I bolt straight from my position and look at myself. Fully dressed, just like last night. This is a good sign.

I catch a glimpse at Seunghyun. Good, he has his hoodie on. And I bet his has his jeans on as well under that blanket.

When I’m about to release a sigh of relief, here comes the bomb. “But… Why are you in my mommy’s bed?” Clarence asks as he looks at Seunghyun. I know that tone. He’s curious. I’ve never been so glad that Clarence is just a kid.

But Seunghyun doesn’t know him as I do. Clarence’s question caught him off guard. “Hmm…” he stutters and looks at me, asking for help.

I get out of my bed, walking to the door and try to sound as nonchalant as possible, “Uncle spent the night here, we shared a bed.” Seunghyun’s eyes widened at my answer.

“Share a bed?” he tilts his head in confusion.

I hold the door open, “Yes, share a bed. Like you and Jia when he had a sleepover here, remember?”

“Ah…” he nods in comprehension.

“Now, go get changed, you’re running late for school.”

He glances at Seunghyun, then at me, and finally walks out in silence. I close the door and lay my back on it. We both heave a sigh of relief.

But my whole body stiffened when I realise it’s just two of us in this room, while we had just… Slept together! My cheeks blushed at the thought.

“Hmm… I… I’m gonna use the bathroom,” I say as I dash to the bathroom and close the door behind me.

Looking at my reflection in the mirror, I rack my brain for the answer to a question. What the heck happened last night?!!

I bite my nails anxiously, a nervous habit I developed long ago. Think! We had wine, and ice-cream. He wiped the cream off of his lips with his tongue, okay I remember that sinful tongue. And everything after that went blank.

Calm down, Leena Lee, first thing first. You can confront him after sending Clarence to school. Now breathe.

Breathe your !

I jump as I see a purplish bruise on my neck when I take off my shirt. I come near to the mirror to take a clear look of the bruises, to make sure I’m not seeing things.

How the heck did I get that??!!!

Did we…?

I shake my head. That doesn’t feel right. It’s supposed to hurt the first time, isn’t it? But I don’t feel any pain, except for the pounding in my head.

So, we didn’t?

If we didn’t, how did I get this hickey on my neck?

I heard a knock on the door. “Are you okay? I don’t hear water flowing. You alright?”

“I’m alright, I’ll be out in a minute.”

I take a last look at the purplish bruise, sigh and step into the bathtub, turning on the shower.

“Pancake!” they shout in unison when I settle a big plate of pancakes on the table.

My gaze darts them as they excitedly apply a thick layer of peanut butter on their pancake. Their movement is synchronized.

Somehow they look alike, not from their appearance, but from their interaction. I’d say Seunghyun is Clarence’s dad if I didn’t know better. No way in hell the childish but kind-hearted man in front of me is that bastard.

“Uncle Superman, why did you stay the night here?” Clarence asks with a mouthful of pancake, in English.

Seunghyun drops his fork and knife, then turns to look at Clarence. When I’m about to translate for him, “Uncle got a job, and your mommy’s so nice she wanna celebrate with me,” he glances at me, “So I came over.” He answers in English.

Clarence nods. “Uncle must be having fun and lost track of time, like Jia and I last time, we ended up sharing my bed,” he shows his gummy smile.

Seunghyun ruffles his hair, “Yes, that’s about it.”

“But, are you going to kidnap mommy?”

Seunghyun frowns at the question. I feel uneasy in my seat. He doesn’t know about the kidnapping. But at the same time I’m touched by Clarence. As much as he’s fond of Seunghyun, he wants to protect me.

“Why would I?”

Clarence looks at me in confusion. He knows there are people out there who try to take him away from me, who might harm us, but he doesn’t know why. I never told him. He’s too small for all this.

“Is superman a bad guy?” Seunghyun asks when I shift in my seat uneasily, trying to come up with an excuse. He sends me a comforting smile, before turns to Clarence.

Clarence shakes his head vigorously.

“Then I won’t kidnap your mommy,” he pinches Clarence’s cheeks slightly.

“Superman protects people. Will you protect us?” Seunghyun freezes.

That’s too much, Clarence Lee!

“Clarence L…” I hiss under my breath, but he cuts me off, “Yes, I’ll protect you.”

“Seongjoon will be coming home in…. three months?” I ask Shinyoung who’s sitting across the table, with her five year-old daughter seated beside her.

I’ve lost contact with most of my friends since I moved to the states, including my childhood friend, Shinyoung. When I came back from the states, dealing with my parents and the company took all my time and energy, I couldn’t spare myself for a movie, let alone catching up with old friends.

Then there’s this one day, Clarence and I were doing grocery shopping, we were in the middle of a debate to decide what type of kimchi is the best for kimchi jjigae, when I heard someone asked in a hesitant tone, “Lee…Nahyun?” 

I turned around to look at the person. The lady looked really familiar, I must have met her somewhere. Scrunching my brows, I tried the only name popped up in my head, “Shin…Young?”

When she smiled, I knew I was right. It’s indeed her. That pair of lovable smiling eyes, your mouth will arch upwards automatically upon seeing them.

Since then, we’d meet up at least twice a month, sometimes for lunch, sometimes over coffee.

She knows almost everything about me. How I struggled to raise Clarence and get my degree in the states, how I was casted out by my parents and the attempt kidnapping. I told her all. But I decided to keep Clarence’s father out of the picture. She didn’t press me on this one either, and I’m grateful for that.

“Two and a half months! He’d better be fit enough to accept me by that time. 10 months? You know how deprived I’m right now,” she says, waving her hands in the air.

I’m shocked by her boldness in front of the kids, “Yah!!! Mind your mouth, we’ve kids with us.” She giggles, “Why are you blushing? That’s how I got Minyoung, and that’s how you got Clarence.” I can feel more blood flush my cheeks, if that’s even possible.

“Fine,” I put my hands in the air in surrender, “So are you going to get a companion for a romantic affair before he comes back from the army?”

“Yah! I love my husband.”

I shake my head in amusement, wiping chocolate stain off Clarence’s mouth.

“How about you?” she leans forward and put her hands on the table.

I didn’t see that coming.

What about me? The center of my life is Clarence, it’s always been him.

Office romance? Nah, business is business.

Apart from my colleagues, that leaves… practically nobody. My social circle is pathetic.

Wait, there is someone. My heart races upon thinking about him. I can feel my cheeks burning as what happened the other morning comes to my mind.

“You’ve someone,” Shinyoung looks at me suspiciously.

“What? No,” I answer in panic. Why the hell am I panicked? I’m telling the truth, I’ve no one.

“Look at the cheeks of yours, you’re blushing! Why are you blushing if you’ve no one? You, spill now,” she commands.

“I…” “Uncle Superman!” Clarence exclaims with joy when I try to bluff my way through. Before I know what is happening, Clarence has jumped out of his seat and run to the front door of the café.

A man with his back to us crouches by Clarence’s side and they exchange fist bump. It’s not an ordinary bump touching another bump, it’s a bump the top of another fist, and he does the same, then they have their pinky fingers intertwined, and their fists meet again. When did they have this brofist thing?

“Hi, buddy,” my heart skips a beat at that baritone voice.

Clarence whispers something into his ear, pointing his index finger at us. Shinyoung gasps when the man turns around.

“Omo! Is he… who I think he is?” Shinyoung looks at me, her eyes widened.

“Uh…”

*************************

Seunghyun POV

I smile awkwardly as Clarence pulls me toward them. Things have been awkward between us since that night and we didn’t have the chance to talk about it. My anxiety grows as she’s being restless in her seat.

The lady with her stands up and extends her hand, “Annyeonghasaeyo, I’m Shinyoung, Nahyun’s best friend.”

So her Korean name is Nahyun?

I bow slightly to her and grab her hand, “Annyeonghasaeyo, I’m…”

“TOP, right? You’re TOP, right?” she asks excitedly.

“Yeah…” I brush the back of my head although it’s not itchy at all. It’s been a long time since someone recognized me, and shrieked my stage name, in public.

LEENA POV

“Are you coming for lunch?” Shinyoung asks, before he can answer, “Why don’t you join us?” She practically drags him and sits him down in the empty seat beside me, before he can even say a word. I’ve to hide my giggles by biting my lips and looking down. He’s being nervous again.

When Shinyoung finally settles herself in her seat again, she asks the question she’s dead curious about, “How do you two know each other?”

We exchange a look and in unison we say, “We’re neighbours.”

“Oh?” Shinyoung narrows her eyes. Damn, she’s sharp in this, I should have known better.

A smirk appears on her face. Uh-oh…

She turns to Clarence, “Clarence-ah, is this handsome ahjussi your neighbour?”

Innocently, Clarence nods, “Ne! Uncle Superman lives beside our house. He invited me to his house and let me play with his toys!”

Good job, my son. I grab the glass and gulp down water to calm myself.

“He stayed overnight at our place and he shared a bed with mommy.”

Or not.

I almost choke on the water.

Everyone at the table tenses, except the two innocent kids. Clarence goes back to his ice-cream after throwing a bomb at us, Minyoung’s still struggling with her spaghetti.

“Shared.a.bed?” I never thought Shinyoung has such big eyes.

His face looks like an over ripe tomato. I wave my hands in the air, “No! It’s not whatever you think it’s!” I bet my face is nothing better than his.

Seunghyun POV

Choi Seunghyun, say something!

But what should I say? We did share a bed. But we didn’t do anything other than that. Well, maybe we did…

I shake my head to wave the memory of that night away. Don’t meddle with me, not now!

“Hyung?” a voice comes from behind Shinyoung. My saviour!

Almost a reflex, I stand up, “Seungri-ah, why are you so late? Hyung has been waiting for you!” He shoots me a “what the are you talking about” look.

I walk around to him and drape my hand on his shoulder, “Come on, let’s go try that new restaurant across the street, you’ve been talking about that for a whole week.”

“I didn’t…”

I press his head down and we bow to the ladies. “I gotta go, nice meeting you, Shinyoung-ssi,” I bow to Shinyoung again before making a beeline to the door, dragging the confused maknae behind me.

Leena POV

Am I seeing things? Did he just run away? Did he just leave me here, with Shinyoung looking at me menacingly?

She lays back and crosses her arms over her chest, “Mind to explain, Lee Nahyun?”

I look at her with plea, hoping she will give in.

I sigh when she doesn’t budge.

“Shinyoung-ah, there’s nothing between us. We had a talk, we drank, we got drunk, ended up in my bed, that’s all,” I say faintly.

“Nothing else?” her voice softened.

“Nothing else,” I shake my head. I’ll not say a word about the hickey on my neck, not while I’m still breathing.

She extends her hand and grab mine, she squeezes it, “Nahyun-ah, all I want is for you to be happy, you know that, don’t you?”

I nod. She’s been there for me when I needed a shoulder to cry on, she’s been up all night to listen to my crap over the phone when I found out someone was tailing us, she’s been there for me and Clarence whenever we needed help. She might be outspoken, but she means no harm.

“He seems to be a good man,” she says, squeezing my hand, “Maybe you can give it a try.”

Give it a try? Who am I to make this call?

SEUNGHYUN POV

I’ve rehearsed a thousand times, the words, the tone, the gestures, basically everything to give the most proper apology to her. But when she’s standing by the railing of her balcony, with a cigarette in one hand and a can of beer in another, all I can do is biting my lips.

I’ve been waiting on my balcony for hours, crossing my fingers that she’ll come to our daily meeting place. When she finally came out from the glass door, she made a straight line to the ledge and lay forward against the railing. She didn’t even glance at me. Her face was expressionless the whole time.

My heart is throbbing against my chest, my palms are sweating. She must be mad. She has every reason to be mad. I still kick myself when I think about how I ran away this afternoon.

Was I embarrassed? No, not exactly. It’s more like a kid got caught for stealing candies. And a kid runs when he got caught. So did I.

The kid is now back with guilt, but he doesn’t know how to ask for forgiveness. She’ll probably wig out when I say a word, no matter what the word is.

“How’s the restaurant?” she asks after exhaling a ring of smoke, still looking into the sky.

I tilt my head in confusion.

“The one you’re so eager to try out with your maknae that you can’t spare few minutes to get things straightened up,” she turns and glares at me.

Somehow I feel relieved when I see her angry face, at least she’s not hiding her emotion anymore.

I take a step closer to her, “I’m sorry, I know I should have stayed to clarify things, but I was caught off guard, I didn’t know what to do…” my voice trails off.

Do you really expect your lame excuses will earn her forgiveness? Choi Seunghyun, you should just bang your useless head against the wall, it’s not functioning anyway.

She looks at me in disdain, “No, you knew what to do, you ran away.”

“That’s not what I meant, I…”

She holds up her right hand in the air to stop me from talking, “That’s enough, Seunghyun-ssi,” my heart drops upon the formalities, “I understand your apprehension as a celebrity, being involved with a single mother is the last thing you want to get yourself into.”

I’d rather she points her finger at me, bawling about what a coward I was.

Her voice softened, “I made it clear to Shinyoung that nothing happened between us, and nothing will happen either. I was telling the truth, nothing happened that night anyway,” she makes her way towards the sliding door.

She’s putting up a wall between us.

This is my last shot, and I’d better make the best of it. “Something did happen!” I shout, and her hand on the door freezes.

LEENA POV

“Something did happen!” he shouts behind me. I freeze upon his words.

Something? I rack my brain to recall the memories, but to no avails. I don’t even remember how did I get to my bed.

“Something did happen, don’t you remember?” he asks softly.

I freeze in my position, not knowing what to do. I can’t just turn around and ask him what is the “something” he’s been talking about, that would make a complete fool of myself.

After a moment of silence, he asks, “I’ve this bruise on my chest… I guess…. Uh… You’ve that… on your neck too…?”

I spin around in shock, eyes widened.

So, he remembers what happened last night? He remembers all this long? Why didn’t he say a word about it, until now? Wait, he didn’t even tell me what happened!! I’m clueless about last night, except for the purplish bruise I’ve got on my neck!

My mind’s so scattered that I didn’t realize I was thinking out loud.

“We kissed, quite passionately, that’s how we got the…you know. But nothing more than that, I swear,” he puts his hands in the air to assure me, “You wrapped yourself with layers of clothes this morning, to a point I thought you’ll definitely get rash. I know you’re hiding the…those because I’ve them as well, but I can cover them up easily under my shirt. I thought you remembered everything in your mind, it’s just you pretended that you don’t… so I played along…”

That doesn’t make sense. “You played along? Running away is how you play along?” I can feel anger rises in my body.

He shakes his head, “I wasn’t sure what should I tell Shinyoung-ssi. I don’t wanna tell her that there’s nothing between you and me, I’d be lying and you might feel I was just playing around. But as a man I know what happened that night should be kept a secret, you know, between you and me. So leaving you to it is the best resort I can come up with.”

His eyes never left mine as he speaks, I can tell from his gaze that he’s not lying.

The anger in my heart’s replaced with shame and remorse. He ran away to protect me. He left so that I can tell Shinyoung the story in whatever version I wanted to. I could have said he played with my affection and dumped me. But he left the choice with me anyway.

And you were reprimanding that man who risked his reputation by giving you the choice to defile him in any way you want, so that you can save your .

After a long silence, I mutter “I’m sorry”, looking down at the floor.

I can hear him taking few steps forward but I keep my eyes on the floor, embarrassed by my idiocity.

“Hey, look at me.”

I lift my head to find him leaning forward against the side railing, this is the closest he can get to my balcony.

“Does that mean you’re not mad at me anymore?” he asks in doubt.

I look at him in disbelief. Just who this guy is? I was being all presumptuous as to think he fled and left me in the most awkward situation to clarify did I sleep with my neighbor aka a hallyu star. He’s the one who is supposed to get mad, to warn me not to say a word that harm his reputation as a celebrity, and yet here he is, concerned about my feeling.

“No,” I shake my head, eyes fixed to the floor. I feel like a sinner, and he’s the total opposite of me, an angel.

“Then why won’t you look at me?” his soft voice makes my eyes watery.

“Because…” I lift my head to look at him, and take a deep breath to hold the tears in my eyes from falling down before I continue, “Because I’m sorry.”

He frowns, confusion all over his face, “For…?” Then realization strikes him, “Ah… You thought I was ashamed of being…” he chooses his words carefully, “Involved with you?”

Biting my lower lips, I feel the burning sensation on my face. I’m the one feels ashamed.

“I’d just take your silence as an apology then, but you owe me one, deal?” he tilts his chin up, a smirk forms on his face.

I wonder what’s in his mind right now, my instinct tells me there must be something hidden behind that smirk. But I feel beholden to him, and that’s the feeling I hate the most. Hesitantly, I nod.

“Now, come here, it’s hard talking to you when you’re so far from me,” he gestures me to come over. Without saying a word, I walk towards him, putting my hands on the railings. Now he’s just few feet away from me, separated by the metal railings of our balcony.

“What can I do to make it up to you?” I ask timidly, tightening my grabs on the railing.

If I were to guess, he’ll make me dance to some silly music in Myeong-dong, or walk down Itaewon with funny drawings on my face, anything that would make me embarrassed that I’d dig a hole and bury myself in.

“I’ll be away for months, for the photo shoot,” he announces. I wasn’t expecting this. What does that have to do with our deal?

I send him a questioning look, my heart skips a beat upon the words slip out from his mouth, “Take care of yourself and Clarence for me while I’m away, okay?”

Closing my eyes, I breathe in the scent of New York, and my lips curled up. It’s not a pleasant smell, not at all. But still, I’ve missed this. Being one of the busiest cities in the world, New York is cramming with cars and people. You’ll never be able to walk down a street without bumping into people for at least ten times. Cars honking angrily even in the middle of the night. 

Despite the many reasons that make you hate someplace, or something, or someone, all you need is that one reason to fall in love with that place, or that thing, or that person. And Clarence is the reason to my unspeakable love to New York. This is the place he came into my life.

“Aunt Jane!” snapped by from my thought, I look at the direction Clarence’s little finger pointing at. A smile escapes my lips while warm tears threatening to fall down at any moment. Standing up from the bench, I breathe in hard to hold my tears, and spread my arms to welcome one of the most important people in my life into my embrace. Mrs. Koch, or preferably Aunt Jane.

Aunt Jane and her now deceased husband had helped me through the darkest times in my life. When I was in my deepest desperation, they offered me warmth and care. I wouldn’t be standing here right now if it wasn’t for them.

Aunt Jane used to babysit Clarence when my part-time job and study were draining the last drop of energy out of me. “Clarence is our angel,” they used to say to me.

“My angel has grown up!” Aunt Jane exclaims in joy when Clarence jumps happily onto her lap, cupping her face with his little hands.

We spend the evening in the park, catching up on each other’s lives. Clarence would chime in, telling Aunt Jane about his school and new friends in Korea, before running away to join his old friends at the playground.

“Few days ago, a man came.” Aunt Jane says while looking at Clarence who’s playing on the swing.

My heart skips a beat, both of my hands curled into fists on my lap. My dad sent his man here? To look for Clarence? But he knew Clarence’s with me in Korea, he had us tailed, remember?

“What did he want?”

“He was looking for your friend.”

Blood drains from my face. My dad knew about her? But how?  

I tighten my fists, nails dug into my palms so deep that I’m sure there will be crescents.

“I didn’t tell him. He got nothing from me. Don’t worry,” she grabs my hands and squeeze lightly.

“Thanks, Aunt Jane,” I look at her, grateful. “I can’t lose Clarence,” I direct my eyes to Clarence who is laughing with his friends, “He’s all I have.”

“Leena?” I stand still upon hearing the baritone voice behind me. That can’t be it. He’s away for photo shoot.

I turn around as I hear footsteps coming closer from behind and my eyes meet the pair of dark orbs that I know so well whom they belong to.

“Seunghyun-ssi?” Stupidest question ever.

“What are you doing here?” we ask in unison. I’m sure I’ve the surprise look on his face too. He went for his photo shoot weeks ago. He told me he’ll be travelling to countries, but he didn’t tell me his schedule. As for me, I come back to the states once or twice a year with Clarence. But what are the odds of me and him bumping into each other, in a hallway in one of the hundreds hotels in NYC?

Struggling, I adjust the weight of sleeping Clarence in my arms, this little angel is really growing up.

“Come on. Let me help you,” Seunghyun says as he steps forward and gently takes Clarence into his arms. A smile crawls across my face when Clarence comfortably nuzzles into the crook of Seunghyun’s neck with his eyes closed.

I quickly open the door to our room and gesture Seunghyun to place Clarence on the bed. He pull the blanket and tug the sleeping angel under it. Hey, you’re doing my job.

I snicker as an idea crosses my mind. He’ll make a good father. But I put my poker face back on as soon as he turns around.

“What are you doing here?” he asks with his lowered voice as we retreat to the living room.

“Visiting family. I uh… used to live in a neighbourhood few blocks away from here, so… yeah...” Why am I being so nervous around him?

He nods, understanding.

I look at anything but the man before me. This is awkward. Why isn’t he saying anything?

“Did you keep your promise?” Thank god he breaks the awkward silence. Wait, what promise? I look at him, frowning.

“Clarence is heavier than before I left, so I know he’s been eating well. How about you? Did you take good care of yourself? You look tired.”

I just stand there, looking back at him like a fool, not knowing what to say, nor what to do. Why does he care so much about us? We’ve known each other for like…months? Not to mention our first encounter was a really unpleasant one.

“Hey, are you zooming out again?” he waves his hands before my eyes. Forcing a weak smile is all I can do with all the thoughts racing in my mind.

“And you say you’re the mother to a child,” shaking his head, he grabs my wrist and leads me across the living room, before seating me on the couch.