The only thing that struck into Jinwoo's mind as similar was the white doors. Apart from that, Mino's apartment was barely recognizable. Boxes. So much boxes scattered around the massive living room.The pool table they always used to play whenever WINNER came to Mino's apartment every afterschool, gone. The expensive glass cabinet filled with all sorts of antiques and family heirlooms probably in storage somewhere. Though Jinwoo couldn't help but smile at the life size Pororo sitting on top of a box in the corner, though looks like he suffered a few injuries and was sewed back together. Was Mino rough on you during sleep?

It's been roughly 2 months since he last stepped foot inside the other's apartment, recalling his last stay when Mino confessed his feelings for him. Which didn't quite end well for his part since well.... That was the night he got kidnapped. Though everything that ever happened to him was so surreal. Back then during childhood when Jinwoo lived with his parents out in the countryside their house wasn't the biggest. The whole family pretty much lived in the living room since there was only 1 bedroom, and that 1 bedroom was used for storage. Jinwoo would be sitting in the corner finishing off his homework in the best way he can whilst he was forced to listen to the news every dam night. But that was the only channel their cheap television and antenna set could pick up. And so his mum would be watching intently while scaling and hacking the fish his father had caught for the day, ready to sell to the local markets the next morning. Every now and then Jinwoo would over hear kidnapping or crime articles though he never paid much attention to it. Yet now that it actually happened to him....It was strange.

"Here." Mino offered Jinwoo a glass of....milk? But Jinwoo declined with a smile. He was here one reason and one reason only. Well, two reasons if you count emotionally needing Mino after not being able to see him for so long.

"Tell me. Why are you here?" Mino set the mood as he set aside his half empty/full glass of milk on the side table. He crossed his legs and stared at the older sitting across from him, like Jinwoo wasn't meant to be here in the first place.

Jinwoo cleared his throat at Mino's serious tone. Am I nervous?
"....I c-could ask you th-the s-s-same thing." Jinwoo looked confused at his own statement. Did I just stutter? Did I really just ask why Mino would be in his own apartment?  Mino eyed him out in confusion.

"Well Jinwoo. It's not everyday you wait outside my apartment door for 12 hours."

"How do you know I was waiting? And how do you know I was waiting for that long?"

"Well for one, I found you sleeping infront of my door. And two, if you live in a rich area like me, everyone is going to want to stick their noses into other people's business."
Jinwoo scoffed at Mino's statement. Mino please, my apartment rate might be lower than yours, but it certainly ain't the quietest. Every night I would hear the same  dam couple doing it through paper thin walls. And I'm not the only one who's sent complaints.

"The neighbours reported to the land lord of some attractive female high school student waiting outside my door for the whole day. Eventually I got a call from Jaejoong telling me to do something about it because apparently you were disturbing everyone on the dam floor."

"But I wasn't even doing anything I was just standing outside your do- .....Your neighbours think I'm attractive?" Jinwoo couldn't help but blush, though he quickly shook off the thought. Jinwoo stay focussed. Don't get distracted by other things. Wait. Did I hear that correctly?
"Jaejoong owns this whole building?"

"Jinwoo why are you here?"
Jinwoo noticed the tone in Mino's voice. The other seemed....irritated, almost annoyed by the fact that he was even here in the first place. So why would you let someone your annoyed with inside your house? If any, I would call the cops if anyone was standing outside my door for that long. Wait, why would Mino be annoyed with me? Did I do something wrong? I mean I haven't seen him since camp.
Wait.
Could it be that...
He was annoyed by what I did on Saturday night at camp?
When I was drunk?
When...I touched..no. VIOLATED HIM?
...
....
......
Nice going Jinwoo, you ing ert. You're like Taehyun but 1000 times worse.
Hahhahaha, who am I kidding, Taehyun is way worse than me. He's probably drowning in at this very moment. Or ? Is Taehyun gay? Maybe Bi. He does have a Bi vibe to him. Well...he does get along quite well with Seungyoon hyung. Maybe.... Them two? A ship? What would their ship name be though?.... KANGNAM! It's perfect. What about Seunghoon? Lol no. Seunghoon is just too-

"ahem." Mino cleared his throat. Interrupting Jinwoo's thoughts, once again the older was lost into another world, thinking about who knows what. But that was a quality that Mino admired about the older. Though tonight wasn't about admiring, it was about...letting go. A theme that Mino would have to adapt to.

Jinwoo nervously smiled though Mino kept his infamous stare against the older.
Dam it, Jinwoo stop getting interrupted. Focus. You didn't skip school for the whole day for nothing.
You didn't run in heels across town for nothing.
You didn't almost get runover by a car for nothing.

"Was it you?"
...
....
.....
No response from Mino.
"Him. In jail."
...
....
.....
No response from Mino.
"Kai."
...
....
......
Mino simply smiled at the mentioned name as he skulled down the remaining milk before walking towards the kitchen. Mino's apartment was open plan, so Jinwoo was still able to see and talk to him. Though by the looks of it Mino wasn't going to let anything out of his mouth. But Jinwo knew it was him. Who else could've done it? He was in fact the only one Jinwoo confessed to about this whole fiasco.

"Mino."
...
....
"Mino-yah."
...
....
Jinwoo furrowed his eyebrows as he started to feel frustrated. Over the span of time he's known the other, Jinwoo understood Mino's quiet and solitary nature. He wasn't the loudest during afterschool hangouts with WINNER. Hearing about Mino's upbrining from Seungyoon certainly cleared some vivid points about the other and why he acted this way. But despite his quiet nature, Mino was a warm and caring person who opened up to Jinwoo. However this was the very first time Mino acted this way towards the older. It was like how the rumours described him. During his time as Rachel, Jinwoo would hear things such as 'Mino has such a cold heart', or 'Mino doesn't act human towards anybody' from both boys and girls. Although these were only the perspective of the student body, Jinwoo couldn't help but feel that these words were true, especially now as Mino ignored his words whilst washing dishes.

...
....
......
"I didn't ask you to do this." Jinwoo bit his lips as he mumbled out his words. He noticed that Mino paused for a bit before continuing with doing the dishes.

"I confessed to you because... I wanted to take the weights off my shoulder. You asked me to share my pains, and I did. With you. But that was all I wanted....I didn't want you- I didn't need you to do anything else apart from you being there for me." Jinwoo stared at the other across the room. Soon his eyes would meet Mino's cold piercing gaze. The Song's infamous stare. But Jinwoo didn't back down, he fought against the other as silence filled the room. Though tensions were at an all time high. It was clear that Mino was angry at what the older had just said.

But Jinwoo should be happy right? That the very person who treated him with such disgust and manner was locked up in jail, paying his crimes with his life. He should be rejoicing, happy to live his life out of hiding. To attend school as Jinwoo again, to finally hang out with WINNER like he did back then, and not with any other high social status students that he didn't even like hanging out with in the first place. To be able to say hi to Mark once more, catch up with the red head LA native. To be himself, and not as Rachel.  All should be well right?
No.
Jinwoo was confused even with himself, but never did he think that he would feel sort of.....betrayed.
It was supposed to be him locking up Kai. Not Mino.
He should've been the one to put the blonde in justice.
To see the satisfying sight of Kai withering away his life behind bars.
But then again it was as if Jinwoo had alter ego.
An alter ego that's fed up from years of bullying, years of resentment. Years of rejection, outcastment.
Another side of him that was so bitter, and wanted to do inflict so much negativity among others.
Was this really Jinwoo talking to Mino?
It was like an identity crisis. He couldn't figure himself out.
And whenever Jinwoo felt so much frustration, so much anger, so much confusion, one thing would pop up in his mind.
Alcohol.
Jinwoo sat in the leather chair as he started to puff out, sweating, fidgety. He needed the quick fix. It was afterall the very thing that helped him get through the kidnapping, the touching, the abuse,  the mental scarring. All those nights when he would feel so disgusted with himself after realising that he yearned for Kai's touch, he would drown out everything with alcohol. When he would feel a burden during his stay with Hanbin, he would drink alcohol. When he would feel utterly useless, he would drink alcohol.
Jinwoo felt hot under Mino's gaze. By this time he broke the stare off as he looked down at himself. Fidgeting, sweating, puffing. He tried to hide his nervous behaviour from the other, though anyone within a hundred mile radius could clearly see that Jinwoo was....struggling. Oh god. Human Water Fountain.

Does Mino have alcohol? No. He barely drinks. He only drinks if Seunghoon drinks. Actually Taehyun should have some. but I don't know where he lives.
Jinwoo continued to fidget in the warm leather chair, his body becoming so hot as he wiggled around uncomfortably.

"Jinwoo?" Mino's serious tone suddenly changed into a worried one.

. I need a drink. .
His breathes started to become panting as he felt his chest become heavy and tight.

"Jinwoo??" Mino suddenly stopped washing the dishes as he dried his hands, still keeping his eyes on the older.

Jinwoo calm down.
You don't need alcohol.
You've stayed sobber for so long.
You've come a long way.
You're getting back on track.
NO! I NEED IT!
I NEED SOMETHING!
I NEED ANYTHING!
Jinwoo's sight started spinning as hammers started to pound his head with ache.
His stomach churned as aches allover his body started to drill in.
"AHHHHHHHH!!!!!!" Jinwoo screamed in pain as his breathing became short. He reached over to the table side as his hands scattered along the surface, looking for a bottle. An imaginary medicine bottle. Though he wasn't back in his childhood, he was living in the present. And so the bottle of benzodiazepines used to treat his anxiety attacks that his mum would place on his bed side table wouldn't be on Mino's side table.

"JINWOO!!" Mino ran to the older, trying to help him in anyway possible. But he just didn't know what the hell was going on with the older.
"JINWOO!!!!" He grabbed the older's shoulders. They were cold, extremely cold. But still the older was sweating like crazy.
"YAH! JINWOO WHAT'S WRONG?!?!!"

As close as Mino was, his words were nothing but blurred outcalls to Jinwoo's ears. Everything had became a blurr. He would feel light headed for a moment, only to feel his whole body heavy as lead. His breathe would become irregular, feet, hands cold. Everything cold then hot then cold. A repetitve cycle that Jinwoo hasn't experienced ever since childhood, when his anxiety attacks would be much more frequent, yet less serious.

Jinwoo tried to speak, though his throat would betray him as coughs left his mouth, leaving his mouth dry and his neck itchy.
Saliva, becoming thick as oil.
He tried to speak again, but everytime he opened his mouth, he felt like drowning.
He felt dizzy.
He felt ill.
He felt like dying.

"JINWOO!" Mino called out to the older as he shook him by the arms.
...
....
.....
No response.