Kris

I opened the book, randomly flipping through the pages until I stopped at something which caught my interest.

March 12th, 2005.

OMGOMGOMGOMGOMG!!!!! Jae asked me out today!!! He was like my damn crush since I was 10 and he actually asked me out after four years! We’re going to the movies Friday and I’m so excited!!!!! He’s just so cute and sweet and cool and perfect…

I didn’t bother to read out the list of positive adjectives she wrote about him because it sickened me. I even found myself insulting the guy, who I had no knowledge of, just because Sariah had a crush on him. Flipping the page, I came to another entry.

March 27th, 2005.

He kissed me.

Again, I flipped the page, becoming uncomfortable.

May 4th, 2005.

For the past couple days, Jae had been acting strange. I feel as if there’s something he’s not telling me. Aren’t couples supposed to tell each other everything? Ah what the heck do I even know at this age? But he should have told me his secret. The fact that he didn’t, hurt me even more that it would have if he had told me before because I would have gotten to say a last goodbye. But he hid it, and migrated without me knowing.

Reading this, I assume this was Sariah’s first relationship, recalling that Alex told me that her first boyfriend had left the country.

July 30th 2005.

I know it’s been a couple of months since Jae left but I still miss him. I know that’s normal but shouldn’t I have gotten over him by now? Alex told me that things would be okay but I still feel so hurt. I know it’s not his fault but I can’t help feel angry. I don’t even have any means of keeping contact with him anymore which worsens the situation. Heck, I have no means of contacting anyone. It’s not like I have a phone, computer or any electrical means of communication in this hell-house I live in with people who don’t care, love or respect me. Anyways, I don’t even know where Jae left to. All I know is that he moved out of the country with his family. It may sound ludicrous, but I don’t think I’ll ever get over him.

Have you gotten over him now Sariah? Or do feelings still linger after all those years?

November 2, 2007.

You know how everyone, well most people gets a title to describe them when you’re in high school? They always said that I played hard to get. Maybe it was the fact that I still had a place in my heart for Jae, hoping I’d reunite with him one day. Maybe that was the keep back for me getting involved with another guy. You know how in stories and shows how the girls would always throw themselves at guys with their gifts and confessions and such? It was the opposite this time and I have no idea why. Guys would constantly try to get a chance at me by flirting or gifts but I just told them off. My friends tell me that sometimes I look kind of rude because of the manner that I reject the guys in but I really don’t care. At first, it’s sweet, but I can see right through them for who they really are. Alex tells me I need to let go of Jae but she doesn’t understand. It’s just not that easy for me. It’s probably because I’m sentimental and I take a while to get over things.

The previous question I mentally asked Sariah repeats in my mind but I read on, hoping to find an answer.