I must have held my hopes too high that when it finally dawned to me that he was not gonna call nor text, everything shattered into small pieces. Too small they were like dust blown away by the cruel wind called reality. What's worse, those tiny dusts were blown back at my face, entering my wide, dreamy eyes. My poor naive eyes.

Life indeed is full of sh*t wrapped in fancy papers. Yesterday I was the princess in my very own fairy tale. Girls envied me like I was Cinderella or some damsel in disteress who had my prince charming waiting for me at the gate with his dashing knights. 

My eyes stung as tears started to pool in my eyes, blurring my eyesight. Tears threatened to roll down my face everytime I took a breath. I just held my frustrations in, almost making me shake as my pent up emotions started to get out of control. 

I expected too much. I deluded myself. He was THE JACKSON WANG. What was I thinking? I was just one of his victims. He made me to believe with his cunning gestures that he was a tad interested in me.

It felt so real, I was in a daydream. 

'Aaah~' I stretched my arms wide as I faked an exaggerated yawn. Tears fell at the corners of my eyes and I stealthy wiped them with my sleeves. 'I'm so dead tired.' I wrinkled my nose to subtly sniff.

'Aaaw~ poor girl in love.' Hyeri giggled. 'Aren't you meeting with your BOYFRIEND today?'

I cringed. My heart sank into my gut. I wanted to strangle her for emphasizing the word. 

'Naah... I need to go home early. I need some sleep.' I wasn't exactly lying. I felt all my energy draining and my head started to feel light. 

'Yes girl friend. You badly need some beauty rest.' Hara cupped my face. She wrinkled her nose and pinched my cheeks. 'The last thing you want is to look like a ghost when you see you boyfriend again.' 

There, she said the B word again I almost fell on my knees. But they didn't know what was going on with me, I couldn't blame them. They were just happy for me. It was not the right time to tell them because I was unsure myself. I needed some time to sort things out. Everything happened so fast and I was also being hasty with my feelings. 

We said our goodbyes when we reached the gate and started to go to different directions. It was just yesterday when I saw him outside the gate...

Memories flashed, making me feel more miserable. 

My shoulders felt heavy, my heart heavier. It was as if my feet were heavily chained; I was dragging myself home. 

*****

Holding the strap with one hand, I dragged my bag on the floor making some screeching sound. My shoulders drooped, head bent and hair covering my face.

'I'm home.' I called in a weak tone. 

'How was school?' Mom asked with a smile on her face as I made my way to the living room where she was in. Her smile was suddenly replaced with a concerned look when she saw me. 

'Mom, I need a hug.' 

Without asking any question, she gave me a bear hug. It comforted me somehow. We stayed hugging each other for a minute before she pulled away and brought me to the kitchen. She prepared some snacks for me while I slumped over the table waiting for the food. I played with the table cloth without a thought. Mom tried to initiate a chitchat to distract me but to no avail. 

Mom knows very well how to ease my troubles. She wouldn't ask questions. She would just talk about random things. Instead, she would feed me until I would tell her what is bothering me. That's one of the best things about her. No pressure. 

But that day, even if I devoured the food she prepared in a flash, that didn't help at all. I ate barely chewing what I put in my mouth. I couldn't even taste the food. If I were fed a poison, I would have died without knowing.

I still couldn't bring myself to tell anyone, even my mother, what I was feeling. 

I thanked her before I went to my room to rest. 

*****

The bed looked so inviting amidst the chaos I turned my room into the night before. I plunged into my unmade bed, swimming in the blanket. I felt like drowning as my body slowly drained what's little left in me. Even the tears I tried to suppress had gone dry. My eyes became heavy and after a few minutes, I was snoring as I fell in a deep sleep. I was completely out, in total oblivion.

*****

'Yaaaaaaaaaah!' I woke up with an exploded eardrums. 

Still half-asleep, I squirmed in my bed fumbling for anything hard to whack my sister's head. She was lucky I couldn't get hold of anything  hard enough to split her head in half. But too bad my hands were fast enough to clasp her neck and choke her. We wrestled for a moment until we both fell flat on the cold floor, all sweat and out of breath. Our chests heaved in sync. I caught a glimpse of my sister's flushed face and I knew my face looked worse than hers. 

'You little...' Unni was still catching her breath. 'I thought you were dead.'

She rolled and sat on the floor, leaning her back on the bed and resting her head on the mattress. I followed suit. 

'Why... did you ... yell at... me?' I glared at her. My breathing was still unstable. I fanned my face with my hands.

'Because you wouldn't budge even after I slapped your face.' She smirked in reply. 

'Aish... jinjja!' My cheeks suddenly felt sore. I gingerly touched my face. 'Unni!'

'Yah! I almost lost my voice from calling you. Why did you lock your door?!' Her voice started to raise again. 'Did you know that your door almost fell down from my banging, huh?'

'I did?' I asked, almost surprised. I honestly didn't remember. 'I don't remember locking the door.' I shrugged. 

Unni growled at me, firing me with her deadly glare that shoot fireballs. 

'Unni...' I faced her with a furrow and pouted my lips.

'Eung?' 

'Why are you here?' I snapped to her surprise. 'You know how I hate it when you barge into my room!'

Without a word, unni pulled my hair and dragged me up and brought me outside the room.

'Yaaaah!!! Let me go!' I was shrieking as I tried to get my hair off from her grip. 

Unni just continued walking until we reached the living room. She only released my hair when we stopped. I was about to pounce at her when I realized that someone was standing with shocked expression looking at me. And definitely it wasn't mom nor dad. 

I froze.

[a/n]

sorry for the very late update. i'll try harder next time. :) thanks for your continued support.