I'm back ~ I thought I will never be able to update this chapter today... It was soooo hard to write it and after reading it I am not really satisified with it (plus it is quite short) T__T ... It might be kind of boring since it is a "transition" chapter, next week I'll start the second "part" of my story, I think I will stop at 10 chapters :). 

I am looking forward to read your comments （＾ω＾）!

Note : I wrote this chapter while listening "Seungri - Come to my", I love this song soooooooooooo much ♥

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Jiyong’s POV

“-Wait a little bit more Seunghyun-ah, we are almost home!”

I could not keep my eyes away for him, I was dead worried. He looked so pale and feverish. I was so afraid he might fall anytime so I put my hand on his back to support him. He started to smile, this idiot. Did he miss me that much?

We were almost at the dorms when a car stopped and people started to come out of it, they were fans.

“- Oh my god! Look at this, it is Big Bang! Is it Seungri Oppa on Taeyang Oppa’s back ?”

Phone in their hands, they were recording everything. Some even dare to come closer to take closer photos of my dongsaeng’s face. I was pissed but I could not get mad, I did not wanted to have troubles, Big Bang did not need another scandal. I took off my wet shirt and put it on Seunghyun to cover his face. I tried to keep them as much as I could away from Youngbae to allow him to reach the dorms door; they kept asking questions.

“- What is wrong with Oppa? Is he sick? Is he drunk? Is he high? Oh my god, did you give him something!?”

I did not know what to answer, they won’t believe me anyway.

“- No… I just… He is…”

I did not know what I was trying to do, defending myself, defending him, making the situation worse? My mind was completely blank. I just wanted to run away but my legs were unable to move. I was the leader, I needed to protect my maknae but what was I supposed to do?  Once again my best friend saved me.

“- Jiyong-ah!”

Holding a barely awake Seungri with one arm, he was keeping the door open with the other. I bowed and apologized to the fans before running towards the door. Once inside I made sure the door was closed and nobody could get in. I looked at my best friend and my maknae. If Seungri was half asleep, Youngbae on the opposite was wide awake and had different feelings mixed on his face; he was scared and mad at the same time. He put one of Seungri’s arm around his shoulder and starting to walk to this elevator. I knew it was hard for him to hold Seunghyun since he hurt his shoulder when rehearsing couple days ago. He did not tell anybody but I saw him putting pain remover patches on his injured arm. I wanted to help, I needed to. Was it really because of me? Earlier Seunghyun said he acted like this for me to notice him, what is true? I suddenly felt so guilty. I did not think about what he was feeling, I’ve been so selfish.

“- Youngbae-ah let me help you, I can carry him to the dorms.”

My hands had not reach Seungri’s body yet that he pulled him away from him.

“- Don’t you dare touching him. It is you who made him like this. Stay away from him, he does not need you.”

He took the shirt I gave him earlier and throw it on the floor. So it was true. I was the one who made him like this, it was my entire fault. But at this point I still could not tell what was worse: the reason I was avoiding him or making him like this. My eyes became teary. I felt a hand grab my wrist.

“- Please… Don’t fight because of me… I am sorry… I keep doing bad things… No wonder you are trying to keep your distances with me... I hope you will forgive me one d-…”

Youngbae cut him off.

“- Stop saying such things… Save your strength.”

Few minutes later we were in the dorms. We tried to be as quiet as we could not to wake the other members up.  Despite the alcohol and his fever Seunghyun was still awake. He kept saying the same words over and over again: “I’m sorry”. His condition was not good, Youngbae wanted to take him to the hospital and so did I but when we told him he became agitated and refused to leave the dorms or even call a doctor. He was there, lying on his bed, fighting against Youngbae who wanted to give him some medicines. I put my hands on my ears. It was not true, it was only a nightmare. I saw Youngbae came out of the room, his lips were moving, I took my hands off my ears.

“- He does not listen to me. Since he does whatever you ask him, give him a bath he smells like a drunkard, he will be more comfortable with you.”

I walked into Seunghyun’s room. He was struggling with his shirt. I sat next to him and helped him get undressed without a word. He was looking at me, his eyes wide open. Because of the alcohol his mood had changed.

“- Do I look pitiful to you? Is that why you are helping me right now?”

I pretended not to hear him and went in the bathroom to prepare his bath. I did not want to answer his question, not because what he was saying was right but because if I had to answer honestly I would have to tell him the truth and I could not do that. The bath ready I went back in the room, he was lying down on his bed, his back facing me.

“- Your bath is ready. Let’s go.”

He did not answer but I knew he was not asleep, he was mad at me and he had the right to. His body was shivering and I could hear his teeth chattering. I sat on next to him, covered him with a blanket and put a hand on his shoulder. He took it off. My heart was hurting but I was the one who wanted that, I was the one who made our relationship become like this. I wanted to redeem myself but now what apparently not the right moment. I decided to go back to my “old” self, the one I became lately. My words were so mean.

“- The answer is yes. I am doing this because you are pitiful. Look at you, look how selfish you are. You got drunk for what? Because you were missing me you said? What did you expect me to feel seeing you like this? I only feel pity for you. And this is exactly because of this kind of behavior I am avoiding you. Because of you I will be in troubles again. Do you know what the fans asked me outside? If I gave you dope!”

He was now facing me, tears running down his cheeks.

“- Hyung… You don’t mean that… Do you?”

I looked him in the eyes and said the most cruel thing I ever said to him.

“- I do. Your existence is pitiful Lee Seunghyun. scandal, car accident, alcohol scandal… When will you stop? You…”

Before I could finish my sentence he slapped me and began to scream.

“- Get out! Leave me alone, get out of my room!”

Alerted by the screams, Youngbae entered the room and ran to Seungri, putting a hand on his mouth. He glared at me.

“- Get out Jiyong-ah.”

I did what I was told to. I left the room and went to mine. The door closed, I collapsed on the floor and buried my face in my knees. It was too hard, way too hard. I could not hide my real feelings anymore. My maknae needed me and I could not be there for him. It had to stop.

I felt my phone vibrated in my pocket, I took it off. Chills ran through me when I saw the name on the screen, it was her. I opened the message.

I just saw some interesting photos on the web. How sweet of you it was to hide his face with you shirt. You thought I would not recognize him right? Too bad for you I did. One more mistake of you and thanks to you his life will become a living hell. We both know what I have on him. That is all for now. Sweet dreams my love, I love you.

Youngbae’s POV

I was about to go back to bed when I heard screams.

“- Get out! Leave me alone, get out of my room!”

I knew leaving them together was not a good idea. I ran to the maknae’s room and put my hand on his mouth.

“- Shh, you are going to wake the other up.”

He pointed Jiyong. I did not know what happened between the two of them but Jiyong was not welcome any longer in his room.

“- Get out Jiyong-ah.”

Jiyong out, my attention went back to Seunghyun. He was crying so hard that he could not breathe properly. He started to suffocate. I took his face in my hands.

“- Seunghyun-ah! Calm down, it is okay. Hush hush. Inhale and exhale, inhale and exhale, that’s right, here you go.”

I hugged him to help him calm down. I gently his hair for several minutes. He soon became sleepy. I was tempted to let him sleep but I hated the smell of alcohol.

“- You did not wash yourself did you? Come on I will help you.”

He shook his head. I touched his forehead, his fever had not come down. I was hoping it was not too serious. Before leaving the hospital the doctor told him not to drink alcohol at all, since he could be dangerous due to his internal injury. I could not leave him alone this night, I will stay with him to check on his health.

As a big brother, I decided to take care of him tonight. He let me help him bathe, dry his hair and put him to bed. I tried to know what Jiyong told him but when I approached the subject he began to cry again and said he was pitiful. There was nothing I could say to make him feel better. Hopefully once I put him to bed, he fell asleep quickly.

I was on my way to get a blanket and a futon to sleep in his room when I heard sobbing coming from Jiyong’s room. I was about to knock when I heard the sound of something breaking on the floor. When I entered his room he was throwing away all his stuffs, I never saw him like this. He gave me a desperate look and I took the objects he has in his hands to put them away.

“- Jiyong-ah… What are you doing?

- I can’t handle it anymore Youngbae-ah…

- What are you talking about? Is it about Seungri?

- Yes… No… I don’t know anymore… I need to tell someone about it, I can’t keep it to myself anymore, it is too hard.”

He gave me his phone. What I read was definitively a threat. What the hell was that? During the next thirty minutes he told me everything. His story was too hard to believe, these things could only happen in dramas or in movies, I could not imagine something like this happening in real life.

“- You need to tell Seunghyun and you need to go to the police, it is very serious Jiyong-ah.

- I can’t. If I do that he will be exposed and his career will be over, I can’t do this to him. And if I tell him what I did he will never be able to forgive me.

- You could not know. It was a mistake, he will be mad but he will forgive you, you’re more important to him. But more you will wait more he will blame you. Think about it. He is having such a hard time because he does not know why you are avoiding him.

- I know. I will tell him soon, I swear. When I will be sure nothing can hurt him, I will.”

I patted his back. I was happy he still trusted me enough to tell me about his problems. It was the biggest issue he had to face in his entire life and he was doing it to protect another member, he was really a great leader.

“- I think you should be the one looking after our maknae this night. I don’t know what you said to him earlier and I know you did not mean it but it really upset him. Even if you can’t tell him everything just tell him you are doing all these things for him and he has to be patient. He needs to know you don’t hate him. About what happened tonight don’t worry too much, maybe they won’t say anything in the newspapers, it was dark and not many people saw us.”

After I was sure he was calmer I accompanied him in our maknae’s room. He was sleeping soundly and thanks to the drugs his fever was not that high anymore. He will have a pretty bad hangover tomorrow but otherwise he will be fine, at least I hoped so. I knew he will be in good hands tonight. I could sleep peacefully.

It turned out that I did not sleep that peacefully that night. I kept thinking about what Jiyong told me. The truth was I was really worried about what might happened to Big Bang but especially to Seungri if Jiyong could not handle this issue as well as he thought he could. It was really dangerous. I could not imagine that the upcoming day will be the worse in my life.

Next morning I was woken up by Jiyong. He was completely panicked and I could hear the other members’ voices, they were as panicked as he was.

“- Youngbae-ah, it’s Seunghyun, he is not alright… Please do something, he is not waking up!”

I ran towards his room, TOP hyung and Daesung were already there, trying to wake him up without success. I took his body into my embrace, he was burning.

“- Jiyong-ah! When did his fever come back? He was fine when I leave him to you yesterday.

- I… I… I don’t know… I fell asleep couple hours after you left and I woke up few minutes ago. I am so sorry Youngbae-ah… What have I done?

- Bring me a basin of water and towels; we need to reduce his fever. Seunhyun hyung, call his manager, we will need his help to bring him to the hospital.”

I tried to act as if I was controlling everything but I did not know why he was not waking up. I knew a high fever could make someone unconscious but I was more worried about his liver. Since it was an internal organ it was hard to know its condition. Then I remembered what the doctor told me. I carefully lifted his eyelids and I saw what I really did not want to see: his eyes were yellow, something was wrong with his liver. We could not wait for his manager or his fever to go down, we needed to bring him back to the hospital one more time.

Only twenty minutes after, we were back in the ICU, waiting for the doctor to tell us what was wrong with our maknae. I had a really bad feeling this time. The expression the doctor had on his face when we arrived was not good, especially after I mentioned he drunk a lot of alcohol. For the next hour which seemed like three we stayed in the waiting room; every member was dealing with the situation in a different way. Daesung was sleeping on my laps, Jiyong was biting his fingers and TOP did not say a thing or move at all. Finally we heard some steps coming in our direction.

“- Lee Seunghyun’s family?”

We stood up and explained who we were to be able to see him. We followed the doctor and stopped in front of a room; a room with a big window meant for the doctors and the nurses to check on the patient at any time. Jiyong and Daesung broke down in tears. There were so many tubes linked to his small body. None of us dared asking the question but we still got our answer.

“- Lee Seunghyun-shi is in the coma.”