Hello again ! It is the last time I am talking to you here since it is the last chapter T.T... I wanted to thank you all for subscribing, commenting and upvoting this story, it is my very first so it means a lot to me ♥ ~ Anyway, I hope you will like this chapter and don't forget to put one more comment :') .Thank you !

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Taeyang’s POV

It has been two weeks since the news came out about the newspaper’s scandal. Two weeks spent at the police station at first then at YG and at doing tv shows to satisfy the fans’ curiosity and make the situation clearer. We tried to pretend that everything was fine by smiling and showing how relieved we were that the situation was finally known by everybody but our minds were somewhere else. Our leader, Jiyong managed to heal quickly and get out of the hospital just in time to start the several interviews. It was a relief he could be there we us, the group’s current mood was so down that without him we would not have been able to show the reassuring image we wanted to.

Tonight too we were going back to the dorms at a late hour. As soon as we arrived, the members went into their rooms without saying a word. I went in the kitchen to cook food for all us; the dorms were too quiet, I could even hear the water boiled. I looked at the kitchen’s table, it would have been so nice if we could have been eating all together, talking and laughing; I suddenly felt sad; what is it’d never happen again? I wanted to share my thoughts with the other members, I wanted to be the one to be comforted but instead of this, each night for a week now I was going from room to room to talk to the members and make a promise I knew I could not keep “Don’t worry, everything is going to be alright”. At first I believed in my words too but each day, God kept telling me that I was wrong but I could not lose the faith, I needed to be strong for all of us and for him.

The dinner was ready. I called the members but none of them answered; yelling again would be useless so I decided to go for them. Instinctively I opened the first room of the corridor, I sighed, feeling tears coming into my eyes. The Maknae’s room was plunged into darkness and dust started to form on the furniture since no one dared to come in. I walked in and opened the curtains and the blind, letting the moon’s light brightened the room. I took the cleaned clothes which were on the bed, folded by the maid, and put them in his closet. I gave one last look at the room, checking that everything was in order. Satisfied I turned back and jumped. Jiyong was standing in the doorway. By the way he was looking at me I could tell he was upset. Trying to lighten the mood I smiled at him.

“-Why don’t you come in?”

He glared angrily at me.

“-I should be the one asking questions. What are you doing here? You are not supposed to be there, this not your room.”

I froze, surprised by his cold tone.

“-Oh easy there. I did not come in on purpose, it is a habit. I was coming to get you all to eat and it happened. What is the big deal anyway? Why do you keep his room locked and in the dark? There is even some dust on his stuff, it looks like nobody is leaving here anymore… It is not like he is…

- Don’t. Don’t say this word. I don’t want to think about it. I told the other day not to touch his room until he comes back, it is too hard for me, I just can’t see it open without him inside. I just want to see him open his window and letting some fresh air in, I don’t want to see this room living without him inside. I am sorry I got mad at you.”

His eyes were teary. I put a comforting hand on his shoulder and squeezed it. He asked for a hug without saying a word and I could not refuse. We stayed like this until we smelled a burned smell. I free myself from the embrace and ran towards the kitchen.

“-Get the others for me, would you?”

Hopefully the food was not too badly burnt and was still eatable. I put it on the table as the others were coming in. Daesung and TOP had a confused look on their face. Daesung cleared his throat and I heard his timid voice.

“-Is that you who opened Seunghyun’s room?”

I nodded. I did not think it would shock them that much. Actually I did not know what they were feeling, even though I was comforting them every day I was not really paying attention to what they were saying to me, too focused on my own feelings that I could not tell.

“-I will close it after we are done eating. I just wanted to aerate it and clean it a little bit. Don’t you want it to be ready when it gets home?”

He whispered quietly his answer but it was loud enough for us to hear it: “If he comes back.”

Hearing these words Jiyong stands up and threw his glass on the floor before running to his room. I wanted to run after my best friend and wiped his guilty tears off his face, I wanted to scold my dongsaeng for his inappropriate words, I wanted to cry too but I did not. I took the little vacuum and cleaned the floor before anybody gets hurt. Without saying a word TOP took a mop and cleaned the floor. Daesung was staying on the side, unmoving; shocked by his own words, I know he was blaming himself. I ordered them to sit with a smile.

“-Let’s eat. Don’t worry about Jiyong, I will bring him something to eat later.”

We started eating in silence. Without realizing it I was being cautious of the noise my chopsticks were making when touching my bowl; the mood was definitively too weird without our maknae. I saw TOP looked at the opened room and then look at me.

“-Did the hospital called you today?”

I shook my head without stopping eating my noodles, I did not wanting to answer but TOP did not think so.

“-It is a good new right? It means he did not have any seizure today. I wanted to visit him but I did not want to go alone. It has been three days he did not have any visits except his family. Don’t you guys feel guilty?”

Neither Daesung nor I answered. The truth was we were both feeling guilty but the view of our youngest member lifeless body was too hard to handle. I did not have the strength to call the hospital today; hearing every day the same thing was depressing but at least he was still alive. This is what the doctors told us twenty four hours after he got admitted for the second time. Even though his fever disappeared and his liver was getting better, the amount of alcohol he drank plus the meds he took had attained his brain. Knowing this we were still confident and we were certain he would wake up. But one week ago, when we were recording “Healing Camp” we got a call from the hospital saying they had to intubate him because he could not breathe by himself anymore. Two days after we got another call saying he had a seizure, sign of how much his brain was in a bad condition. We got the same call the days after and three days ago I could even witness one. It was the most shocking thing I have ever seen and I never wanted to see it again. TOP was right, it was the first day the hospital did not call us and we could only assume it meant that nothing was wrong with him. But we all feared the same thing: maybe he will stay in the coma forever and we knew he would not want to be kept alive artificially.

Jiyong was a mess since Seungri’s condition worsened. He kept thinking about the words our Maknae told him the day he went to get him in the streets after he had drunk: “Because of you Hyung, I wanted you to notice me.”.  He was feeling guilty and shameful since this day. He did not went back to the hospital since we were told that they could not do anything for him anymore, except making him as comfortable as they could; the coma could last for we don’t know how long. It was only two weeks since he was sleeping, as I liked to think, and the group was not doing well at all. We needed him more than anything.

TOP spoke again.

“-I do feel guilty. Not only because I did not visit him these three last days but because I could not visit him as much as I wanted the first time. And also because I think we did not care about him as we used to since his scandal last year. Maybe I am the only one thinking like this but I feel like we tend to blame him for all the bad things which are happening to us, him because the main cause or not; as if we wanted to make him pay for what he did. And now what do we learn? That he was not his fault. We were blinded by his careless personality and his attraction to women and we did not think even once he could have been tricked. Do you realize we almost kicked him out of BIG BANG? Just thinking about it makes me want to puke. I feel so bad. I keep thinking about how I will act when he will wake up, what I will say to him and how to ask for forgiveness but I can’t find a good way.”

As my hyung was talking Daesung began to cry, I guessed he must feel the same way too. Thinking about last year it was right we did not make his life easy, scolding him over and over again for what he has done. I knew he has been shocked when I scold him this time, it was the first time I was raising my voice with him and when we asked him few time ago who he was afraid to be scold by, he said my name: “Youngbae hyung can be the most comforting hyung but he can also be scariest when he scold you”. I smiled at this thought. It was not to us to forgive Seungri but to him to forgive us for acting so selfishly towards him. Maybe at first he knew he was not guilty of what we were accusing him but maybe with the time he convinced himself he really did what we were reproach him for. Just like TOP I was feeling guilty too.

TOP hyung finished his meal the first and left the table, leaving Daesung and I together. When he reached Seunghyun’s room he stopped in front of it and looked at me.

“-Leave it like this, it is like he will come back at any time.”

I promised I will even though I still had to convince my best buddy and it would not be easy. I wanted to finish my meal as soon as I could to leave the table and comfort Jiyong but I knew Daesung needed to talk too. I put my chopsticks next to my bowl and put my back against the chair.

“-Is there anything you want to say Daesung-ah?”

He gave me a surprised look but still answered.

“-I just want to say that I love him. I did not know what answer to give when he said to me he was happy to have me as his hyung so I want to let him know I happy to have him as my dongsaeng, even if he can be annoying sometimes he is the best maknae I could wish for. And you Hyung, what do you have to say?”

I opened my mouth and closed it. I was not expecting this question. What did I want to tell him? I had some many things to tell him and yet I could not express them.

“-I want to apologize because I could not see properly what he was feeling inside.”

He answered with a sad smile.

“-I hope he will hear what we have to say to him with his two ears. He will probably be reaaaaaaally uncomfortable but I don’t think he will cry, this kid is not easily moved.” He said while putting his plate in the dishwasher. I nodded, I could not agree more. Once he left I cleaned the table and cooked the breakfast for the ones who were leaving early the next morning.

Before switching the lights off I took the plate I prepared for my best friend and made my way to his room. I sat on his bed and made sure he was eating well while looking at the dried tears on his cheeks. I was about to say some comforting words like I was used to when my phone started to ring. I opened my eyes wider and looked for it with my shaky hands; it was the hospital. What was it this time? Another seizure? Irreversible damage to his brain? Before I could press the button to answer, Jiyong did it for me. I brought the phone to my ear. I saw the two other members entering the room, with the same worried look I was seeing each time we were having the phone call.

“-Dong Youngbae? Good evening, I am Lee Seunghyun’s doctor. I am calling to update you about his condition.”

It was the same sentence as the other day. I hardly swallowed.

“-Good evening Doctor. How is he doing today? Did he have another seizure?

He took his time before answering and I could not hide my apprehension, the members’ gaze still on me.

“- No, his condition improved a lot since yesterday. He woke up half an hour ago and if his breathing keeps improving we will be able to take out the tube by tomorrow. We are now taking him to do some exams; I will give you more details when you are here. I know the visiting hours are over but if you want to see him now I will let the nurses now.”

I thanked the doctor and turned off my phone. The members started questioning me, Jiyong digging his nails into my thigh but I did not care about the pain; a silly smile appeared on my face. Before saying anything I put Jiyong in a thigh embrace and squeezing him as much as I could. TOP hyung put an end to our hug, wanting to know what was happening.

“-Guys… Seunghyunie finally woke up. He is waiting for us now. Come on, let’s get ready!”

They stayed without moved during few seconds, not wanting to believe what I had just said to them; I could not believe it neither. I needed to see him with his eyes open to realize it, to realize that the endless wait was finally over. We quickly packed our stuff before gathering in the hallway, calling our own managers and YG president to let them now about the good news. Then I realized that I needed to prepare a bag for Seunghyun, soon he will be back at the dorms and he needed some clothes to get out and some hygiene products to take care of himself. As I came closer to the room I realized I was not the only one who got this idea, Jiyong was already packing his things, a happy smile not leaving his face. We both checked what was inside the bag, trying not to forget anything he needed. Few minutes after we were in the car, heading to the hospital. Worried about the final verdict but happy and relieved.

When we reached the hospital we were surprised to find a completely other person in our Maknae’s room; we were told that his condition being good enough he got transferred to a regular room. So we went in this all new service, explaining to the nurses we were allowed to be there at this late hour. They accepted, already aware of the situation, and gave us the room’s number. It did not take us a long time to find it; it was the only one with the lights on. We stopped in front on it, watching what was happening inside by the window. Seunghyun was in his bed, awake; listening to his doctor. We were watching them quietly from outside. He suddenly turned his head and saw us after Jiyong hit his head on the glass too focused on looking at his maknae. He made a sign to us, telling us to come in but only to one person. I told Jiyong to go but he declined.

“-No, not like this. You can go in, I am sure he wants you to be with him.”

I nodded. Jiyong wanted to do the things well to start again on the right foot with our youngest member. After asking to the two other members if it was alright with them I went in and came closer to Seungri’s bed after greeting and thanking the doctor. He reached out a wavering hand and I grabbed it, he was looking quite scared. I gave a look full of questions to his doctor.

“- I need to take out the tube, he is fine enough to breathe without it but we will still be helping with giving him oxygen with a little tube under his nose. It will be less disturbing and will allow him to talk even if his throat will be sore for a couple days. Lee Seunghyun I need you to stay still not to hurt your throat. Youngbae-sshi, can you hold him for me please?”

I nodded and placed my free hand on his shoulder, reassuring him with my words. I could not take my eyes off the doctor’s hands which were slowly reaching Seunghyunie’s face. He first gently took the tape off his face while the maknae was trying his best not to wince. Then the hands went to the tube and he gave me the signal as Seungri was closing his eyes.

“-On the count of three I want to you to cough. 1… 2… 3!”

Seunghyun’s grip tightened on my hand and he started coughing, the tube gently and slowly leaving his throat. Once it was out, he collapsed on the bed, his coughing not stopping. The doctor helped him drink some water with a straw and he coughing became weaker and rarer. He then put the little tube he talked about earlier under his nose and I could see the maknae’s body relaxed as the air was going into his lungs. After checking that his patient was doing fine, and explaining to me that his brain was okay and so was the rest of his body, the doctor took his leave. Seunghyunie was still holding my hand; he cleared his throat.

“-You are here”.

He was talking, I could not believe my ears. He was really fine. I showed my most beautiful eyes smile. I wanted to hear his voice was again but I knew I was being selfish, he was not supposed to use it too much.

“-Can you repeat what you said?”

He laughed but answered. “- I said, you are here.”

I could not help but hug him. I’ve missed him so much.

“-Of course I did but I am not alone, the others are waiting outside. They really want to talk to you. Can I let them in?”

He nodded, a smile played on his lips. The members made their way in the room, one after the other. Daesung and TOP sat on both sides of the bed, hugging the maknae, his hair, making him talk. Only Jiyong was staying in the corner on the room, watching the scene quietly, a shy smile on his face. Seunghyunie noticed him and ask him to come closer, what he did. He started playing with his fingers, he was clearly embarrassed.

“-I… I… I wanted to apologize… For everything… I still have a lot to tell you…

-I already know what you are going to say, I heard everything. I don’t blame you. I am glad to see the Jiyong hyung I love so much back to his old self.”

My friend was clearly surprised but managed to smile. He came even closer to the maknae and gently his hair. It seems like it was not a big deal but it was the first time in months they were so close. Daesung spoke up.

“-Maknae-ah…

-I know hyung loves me too.”

Daesung blushed and put his hands in his pockets. Then TOP hyung spoke up too.

“-Well I guess you already know what I am going to say, right?”

Seungri chuckled before answering.

“- I do but I still want to hear you say it.

-Yah! I won’t say anything… It is too embarrassing...”

Everybody laughed. I stopped laughing as I saw the maknae frowned.

“-What’s wrong Seunghyun-ah?

-Nothing… It is just that I don’t know what you want to say to me, Hyung.”

I squeezed his hand.

“-I will tell you later, we have plenty of time now.”

He smiled at all of us.

“-I am not going anywhere”.  

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“I hope he will hear what we have to say to him with his two ears.”

 I do hyung, I am listening with my two ears.

(Seungri's POV)

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THE END.