As Baekhyun goes out of the library, the smirk on his face faded leaving him with shock and confusion, as he clutches his left hand. He runs up a flight of stairs, before turning at the corner and opening the door to the room he always visited.

The cold air of the AC hits him, his pants raging along with his heart, as the person in the room looks at him in worry. “K-kyung” he begins.

Kyungsoo, the man sitting at the couch in the middle of the room runs to him in shock. “What’s” he begins, taking in Baekhyun’s disheveled appearance. “What the hell happened?” He grits out.

Baekhyun looks at kyungsoo, shaking his head that no, it wasn’t who he think t was, before he looks at his hand, shaking “He… He’s back.”

>>>3 years ago

 “Baekhyun-sshi, was it?” Chanyeol’s mother had spoken, her voice, although curious, was strict.

Baekhyun nodded. “Yes, ma’am.”

“How long have you been with my son?”

“Eh?” Baekhyun looks up, and almost too immediately regrets it because the distress in her eyes was enough for baekhyun to clamp up. It was unfamiliar, that gaze. “I-I mean, about 5 months, ma’am.”

Silence envelops them for a while, hateful thoughts entering Baekhyun’s mind as he feels the tension in the room. He looks at the pictures that he always passes by whenever he comes here, mentally smiling at the ecstatic face of chanyeol as a child.

He never changed.

He turns to look at chanyeol’s parents before a sigh from Chanyeol’s father had him flinching. Sighing with this tension wasn’t always a good sign, he knew. He knew it would be him saying something about their relationship but the minute Chanyeol’s father spoke, he knew he was done for. “Can you… please break up with him?”

Baekhyun opens his mouth in shock, trying to formulate a sentence.

Baekhyun knew this would happen, one way or another, he knew this would happen. Judging from the worried looks they give chanyeol everytime Baekhyun comes and picks him up. Or the way they—Chanyeol’s mother bites her lips worried, as he looks back at them before chanyeol closes the door. Or how Chanyeol’s Father looks so strained whenever Chanyeol forces him to go to his room and wait there.

He knew this would happen.

But he never thought it would hurt this much.

And for the first time, Baekhyun observed the couple, the wrinkles in their eyes had sunken than a week ago when they had met, the evident worry and distress they were having (Baekhyun knows it was because of them) Mrs. Park’s swollen eyes, she had been crying.

“I.. I…” Baekhyun starts, although he doesn’t know what to say. That he doesn’t want to? That he loves chanyeol with all his heart and swears to never break up on him, unless the other—chanyeol wants to? Or how chanyeol is his light? That chanyeol was the only one who saved him?

“It’s…” Chanyeol’s father begins to speak again, his voice laced with distress, Baekhyun tries not to cringe at the sound as he suppresses his tears “Chanyeol’s our only child and he is supposed to be the heir to the hospital, that kid had always wanted to be a doctor.”

He did? I never knew…Baekhyun thought, why had he given up his dream? Why had he told Baekhyun that he’d major in music? Why?

Chanyeol’s father clamps up as he rubs his face with his hand, before inhaling and looking back at baekhyun, trying to be calm and collected. “we just want a secure future for our son and…” he trails away, looking at his wife and back to baekhyun “We wanted him with a family…”

Oh. Baekhyun couldn’t give chanyeol that. He, himself, doesn’t even have a family. He couldn’t give that to chanyeol, not now, not ever.

Baekhyun’s mind wanders back to the time when they were just friends, Chanyeol was happily waving at the kids, a content smile on his face as he says ‘I can’t wait to have kids’

Baekhyun looks at his shaking palm, raising it to cover his mouth.

“I hate to open this up,” Chanyeol’s father had said. “But… your father… don’t you have a bad relationship with him?” Baekhyun could only flinch in response; they had done a background check on him. “I don’t… i don’t want to hate my son…”

“Dear…” Chanyeol’s mother had silently gasped as he holds the older man’s hand, “You’ve gone too far…”

Hate.

Baekhyun had never voiced his opinion out loud when it comes to his family matter, he had decided long ago that it wasn’t his fault, that his uality wasn’t the reason why his father had called him disgusting, that his father only yelled “you shouldn’t have existed. You are a blasphemy” out of rage, that time would heal their wounds, that he existed for a reason.

But baekhyun was just running away.

He was running away from reality and involving chanyeol in the process.

To hear the word hate from another’s perspective, it left him numb. Empty. Hate is a big word, a big word to describe what he had been trying to block, a big word that his father and brother felt for him.

And a big word that he won’t let chanyeol feel.

He gave baekhyun light, he didn’t ask for chanyeol to share the darkness that resides within him, he only wanted to see the light.

And he had a brief glimpse of it.

It was enough.

Silence envelops them, with the constant sniff from Mrs. Park, Baekhyun hadn’t said a word since then and Mr. Park had bowed his head. He hears Chanyeol’s yelling that he was almost done, from the bathroom.

Looking up straight att Mrs. Park’s swollen eyes, baekhyun had decided.

Baekhyun opens his mouth, trying to find the words, a lump forming in his throat as a single tear rolls down his blood shot eyes. “a month…” he says, barely a whisper. “Give me… a month.”

Mr. Park furrows his brow, confused.

“I’ll… I’ll br-break up with him in a month…” Baekhyun’s voice waivers, his hand covering his mouth, as he breaks down in silent sobs “I.. He’d be suspicious. Just… just give me a month… I’ll break up with him…” he grabs the hem of his shirt as he tries to stifle the muffled groan from the pain he was feeling.

Chanyeol’s father looked at him, hope and suspicion in his eyes as he clamps his hand together and closing his eyes. “Thank you, Baekhyun-sshi” He faintly smiles, “Thank you…”

Baekhyun doesn’t say a word, getting up and bowing “Please tell chanyeol that… that I had something to do…” He turns around, ready to walk away when he remembered something. “after the end of the month… don’t… don’t tell him anything… just let him believe my reason for breaking up with him…”

“Reason?”

“please” Baekhyun begs.

Mr. Park sighs before nodding.

“You.. You are an !” Chanyeol spat, “It was a mistake! This was a mistake! God, I can’t believe how stupid I was for loving you!”

>>>Present

“He’s here, kyung” Baekhyun covers his face as he crouches down, kyungsoo enveloping him in a hug.

“Shh” Kyungsoo tightens his hold, wiping the endless tears baekhyun pours before deeming it useless, whispering him sweet nothings. “Baby, calm down”

Baekhyun unconsciously nods, burrowing his face in the crook of kyungsoo’s neck, squeezing his left wrist until kyungsoo covers his hand with his. “you’re hurting yourself, hyun.. stop.”

“He…What should I do, kyung?” Baekhyun bites his lips, “he’s here… Why is here? He shouldn’t… i..”

Kyungsoo doesn’t answer, he instead envelops baekhyun in a tight hug again. How could he give baekhyun advice when he doesn’t even know what the outcome will be?

Kyungsoo instead opts for running his hand up and down Baekhyun’s back.