Warning: Self harm does occur in this chapter so if you are sensitivie about this topic, you need not read this. you have been warned.

*BEEP BEEP BEEP*

I reached over my desk and started to push buttons until my alarm went off.  Eventually I found the right button and the annoying beeps stopped. I sat upright and stretched. I walked to the bathroom and started to yawn. I took a shower and changed into a long sleeved shirt that had a beautiful red rose design with black sleeves and a white background and skinny jeans. I walked downstairs.

 "Morning Haru! How'd you sleep? " my mom said handing me my breakfast which was 2 eggs with rice.

"Fine I guess." I said taking the plate. I walked over and sat down at the table. I finished my breakfast and put my plate in the sink. Oh right! It's the first day of school. I had total forgotten. I was kinda excited because I was starting a new school, but it was still school. I went to the bathroom to brush my teeth. I looked in the mirror to see if everything was perfect.  I rolled up my sleeves and looked at the cut marks... it was only 1 month ago....

***Flashback***

I was home alone sitting on the bathroom floor crying my heart out, denying the reality that my older sister had just died in a car accident. My parents texted me that they were at the hospital. They were probably sitting, crying next to my sister's lifeless body. She was my best friend and I always looked up to her. I always went to her for advice,  knowing she would know what to do. I held the knife right near my left arm. I started to cut my skin.  Tears flowing down my checks. I saw the red slowly flow down my arm. I felt the sharpness of the blade. I started to rapidly cut. It was deep enough to leave a scar but not to do true damage to me. I took the knife from my right hand and did the same to my right arm. I wanted to deny everything that my parents said about my sister dying. I wanted to shut out everyone, the entire world.  I stopped cutting and screamed her name. I sat crying and  telling myself that this was all a sick nightmare in hell,  but deep down inside,  I know it was real. I got up and walked over to the closet and bandaged myself up. I washed the knife so my parents won't find out.  I knew they would eventually..... but not yet...

***2 weeks later***

I had just woken up and went downstairs. I hadn't gone to school this entire past 2 weeks, but everyday I did cut, not too deep, but deep enough make a scar, even though reality had done most of, if not all of the damage.  I had a short sleeved t-shirt on and I realized that I didn't have a sweat jacket on. I walked into the kitchen and saw my parents.

"Haru! Why?" My parents said worried,  looking at my arms. They walked over to me tembling and reaching for my arms. Tears started to stream from mine and my mother's eyes

"I-I'm sorry. I just want her back. I love her so much." I said pulling my arms away from my parents. I walked over and hugged them and they embraced my hug."I'm so so so so sorry. I just miss her! Why? Just why?" I said.

"I know. I miss her as much and more than you do." My mom said wiping her tears.

"She's in a better place. " my dad trying to lighten the mood. My dad started to rub my mother's and my back.

"I know we can't get her back, but she wouldn't want you to be doing this to yourself. " my dad said trying to change the subject. I shook my head.

"I know, but reality is cold and cruel. "I said trying to collect myself.

"Please promise us you won't do this ever again. " my dad said, while my mom nodded in agreement. I quickly nodded and promised.

***Flashback Over***

"Haru! Come on or your gonna be late! I'll be in the car!" My mom yelled from the bottom of the steps. I wiped my eyes realizing that I was crying. I collected myself and ran downstairs. I shoved my black All-Star High Top Chucks on, grabbed my lunch and backpack and ran out. 'New day, a clean slate, ' I thought.