Hyejin's POV

My vision was hazy as I began to slowly awaken from my meltdown. The pounding in my head was excruciating as I leaned up in bed groaning a bit. The sound of Rihan and Sehun’s voices echoed throughout the room.

I looked up to see them talking in the entry way of the dorm. I stared at Sehun’s back feeling bad about him having to have had to experience my panic attack in full swing.

“What the hell happened?!” Rihan exclaimed making me flinch a bit at the sudden sound.

She sounded angry.

“We were in the library and I had mention Kyungsoo’s recent drama casting. She stopped breathing for Christ’s sake!” Sehun’s voice rang with worriedness.

“This hasn’t happened in so long,” Rihan exhaled running a hand through her hair “I need to call my parents. Sehun I’ll text you as soon as she wakes up,”

“Rihan I’m sorry but you were the only person I thought to get when she passed out,” Sehun sighed and I could see her slightly nod.

“I’m not mad at you Sehun. You honestly did the best you could for someone who had no idea what to do.” her tone was sincere and kind as they moved towards the door “When she’s up you can come back over,”

“Thanks Ri,” he replied.

I imagined he was sporting one of those apologetic smiles he wears from time to time.

The door clicked shut before she made her way back into the room only to be met by me being fully awake.

“You’re up,” she stated her voice ringing with surprise.

“Yeah,” I mumbled feeling sick to my stomach.

How could I tell her why this had happened?

“You scared me to death Hyejin,” Rihan sighed as I nodded feeling even tier about all the thing I had wanted to tell her from month ago up until today “This hasn’t happened in so long I didn’t know how to react when Sehun came running down the hall carrying you unconscious,”

“I’m sorry,” I blurted out abruptly tear pricking at my eyes.

Everything was my fault.

“Sorry for what?” she inquired as she gently took a seat beside me on my bed “You haven’t done anything wrong unnie,”

I let out a small sob.

“Hyejin,” she mumbled my name in surprise as the tears continued to stream down my cheeks “Just tell me what’s wrong,”

“It my fault,” I managed to choke out with heavy breaths “Everything with him is my fault,”

“Everything with who?” she stared at me confused as I covered my mouth trying to hold back my tears.

“Taemin,” I gasped as she shook her head.

“Hye-“she went to console me about the situation but I couldn’t hold back anymore.

Flashes of him and I before Rihan came into the picture flitted throughout my mind. How happy I was during that time haunted me.

“I loved him Rihan!” I cried out as she looked at me in shock “I never knew he was after you but it was too late for me by the time I realized. I feel so sick to my stomach every time I think of him,”

Her eyes were wide and she honestly looked a bit scared. I felt awful about my sudden outburst but I couldn’t conceal all these secrets I have been hiding from her anymore.

“Do you know how it felt for me to lie to your face every day about how happy I was for you guys?” I yelled tears still burning at my eyes as I grabbed her hand “Do you know how I felt watching the boy who convinced me that he loved me just as much as I did take advantage of my sister?! He used me too and I could do nothing about it,”

Rihan didn’t say a word but took me into her arms as I continued to sob.

“I’m so sorry Jin,” I heard her sniffle slightly as she held me before a realization dawned on her “He didn’t-“

She looked at me barely able to get the question out.

“He slept with you, didn’t he?” she held my shoulders forcing me to look at her but I quickly diverted my eyes.

Her eyes gleamed with anger and hurt but I remained silent I swore I’d never tell.

“I love you Hyejin,” Taemin sighed as we sat on his bed our study materials laid out before us.

I stared at him in shock as he quickly captured my lips with his.

“Taemin,” I gasped as I gently pushed him away from me “Where is this coming from?”

He quietly laughed to himself smiling like an angel.

“I’ve loved you since the moment I met you,” he confessed as he scooted closer to me gently raising his hand to lovingly touch my cheek “I want to be with you forever,”

I stared at him in shock due to his sudden statement.

 “Don’t you want me too?” he questioned as he leaned in pressing his forehead to mine.

“I do,” I mumbled before he pressed his lips to mine once more before he had me pinned to the bed.

“I want us to share our first love together Hyejin,” he spoke softly as caring as he positioned himself between my legs “Please tell me you feel the same,”

In my youthful ignorance, I agreed to his empty promises and shared that sacred moment with him.

“I love you Taemin,”

“God damn it Hyejin tell me!” she growled as she shook with anger.

“He said he had photos he would expose you if I told you or anyone else,” I cried as she covered in shock “I didn’t know he had already asked you to be his girlfriend that day. I couldn’t have him do that to you! I never cared that he was with you and not me but I died everyday not being able to tell you the kind of man he really was. You were so happy I couldn’t do it to you,”

She remained silent tears now spilling heavily from her eyes.

“He made me believe that he truly loved me Ri,” I broke down as she continued to sit there in shock “I was so stupid to have believed him!”

The old wounds were being torn back open in the very moment I confessed to her what we had done.

Flashes of what he had done to me after he exposed his true self slipped in and out of my mind.

“Tell anyone Hyejin and I swear to god it won’t just be you who I’ll ruin,” he smirked as he cornered me in the girl’s locker room.

“Leave her alone,” I scowled as he laughed before his face turned completely serious.

He quickly grasped my throat pinning me to the lockers. Tears pricked my eyes as he pressed his body against mine.

“If you’re a good girl Rihan will have the best relationship any girl could ever ask for,” his height allowed him to tower over me as he leaned down to talk.

All I wanted to do is scream as he covered my mouth and began to drag his hand up my leg.

“Shhhhhhh,” he shushed me as he took his thumb wiping the tears from my eyes “It’s alright. In the end and forever, it will be just you and I,”

I whimpered in panic as he began to press kisses up my neck before biting my ear and pulling away.

“God, I love you,” he chuckled his breath hitting my neck as tears streamed down my cheeks “I can only imagine how stunning Rihan would be if she was as vulnerable to me as you are,”

The class bell rang causing him to release me.

“You gave yourself to me don’t forget that,” his eyes sparkled sickeningly as I took this chance to run out of the locker room, wiping my cheeks I refused to look back.

“He was my first Rihan but then the next day he announced you were dating. There was so much I couldn’t tell you because of what he said he would do to you. Even then I couldn’t protect you. The things that would’ve been said about us and how much I would upset the family also kept me silent all