Both of them are not saying anything at that time, like words say ‘Silent is Golden’, was it they wanted to apply? Seriously, it was suffocating her to death as he did not speak, just lowering his head all the time. She sighed, biting her lips while playing with her fingers, something urging her to speak but at the same time wanting him to speak first. Was that really matter there? Yes, call her childish or whatsoever, it was really matter for her, it was like, she thought that she would lose in their intense of who-will-say-something-first battle though she knew that she was the one who declared the battle, even battling with him, alone.

“For…” They speaks at the same time, she hid her smile but she noticed the frowning face of him when he titled his head up, gestured her to continue but she did not, instead, she was silence again. Nana leaned backward and looking at him, he looked different, she means for someone who completely look different in the same day was out of her thinking. It was not like a huge difference once again, but he was in his deep thought, as she noticed that he appeared messily, a huge frown plastered all over his face, making the three lines of deep wrinkles appeared on his forehead.

“We…w-we planned our meeting. From the first meeting…w-when I met you. Everything was planned.” Stuttering, he spilled as he looked at her. Nana wide eyed, mouth hanging as it was very shocking for her to listen to… what was that again? So, their meeting was under planning, it means it was intentionally, not coincidently. She gulped, when she thought that he was different, it turned out, he was the same; still keep his name under men, the same gender who would do anything to make her suffer.

“Are you trying to say that, every freaking time we’ve meeting before, it’s was just… a planning. A planning, it supposed to mean that you planned to get me in your pants and then… you’ll leave me like everyone leaving me. Wow! It’s either I’m too stupid to realize that…” She wanted to stay fine but she ended up, crying again, shuddering as the reality hits her. Why does she felt so hurt over it? It was not like she had not facing something like that before, a supposed to be coincident meeting, but obviously a planning meeting, she’d it before. But this time, it was impacting her life more, causing her to cry again. Nana bit her lips, wiping her tears but it kept fallen towards her cheeks, causing her to hide her face on her palm and cried, repeated, “S-so, e-everything was ac-actually a p-plan.” What does she wanted? Is it a confirmation, a confirmation that she was a loser at that time or a confirmation that she would hurt over it again, or a confirmation before she wanted to slap him hard? No, all she wanted to hear was not a confirmation, but she wanted him to say no about it, to explain and saying that he was joking for reason.

“Yes, from the first meeting, until recently, it was a plan from us.” She titled her head up, looking at him, blurry while letting her soft sob out, he reached and hold her hand tightly which she did not even care about it, her heart fell and it was hurt. She did not even any energy to talk back, to retort, or to slap him hard, so she stay quiet and froze, until he sighed and pulled away, stood up and pulled a chair to her side, occupied there. She stayed put when he hugged her from the side, tightly as he did not want to let her go if she wrestled but, but she did not even wrestling for it. Everything was done and she was trying to build back her wall, she needs time for that because this time, it was more hurting than her ex fiancée. “I’m not supposed to tell you but I can’t help it. Since the first meeting, remember when I kissed you because of a gal, we intentionally planned it as…”

“Intentionally? Everything was explained with that word. I don’t think that I need to listen further because…” She butted in, wiping her tears away and hastily stood up, only to sit on her chair back when he gripped her wrist, hard. She glared at him then while he still looked at her in calm.

“Tell me, sweetie. How can I grab your attention, how can I present you my presence if I’m not doing something like that? You know that you’re not a gal who will look at anyone easily. Yes, the meeting, it’s intentionally but I’ve reason underneath it. The meeting was under planning but the reason behind it, it’s not!” She was soften, gazing to