Dear Me,

 

I think that afternoon was the best and worst day of my life.

 

I knew I stood a chance.

 

Maybe he could only look at me and like me as much as I like him,

 

I sometimes look at the mirror and wonder if Baekhyun likes me.

 

But I ended up getting the same answer over and over again.

 

It’s like I found the meaning of Insanity: It’s actually doing the same thing over and over again but expecting a different result.

 

I expect results like maybe he does like me.

 

But I’ll be confessing soon anyway, so yeah.

 

-Chanyeol 2014

 

“Hey, Yeol. I finally thought of a way for a little havoc.”

 

“Did you just seriously use that word?” Chanyeol laughs as he closes his journal.

 

“Ha-ha. Laughs on me. Anyways, I thought that maybe if I talk to Baekhyun while you’re preparing for your speech—“

 

“You’re not getting near him, he could fall for your smirk and flings.”

 

“I don’t plan to. I already have my eyes on that doe-eyed bestfriend of his.” Jongin smirks.

 

“Like I always say since we were kids, you’re a flirt.” Chanyeol laughs and places his journal inside his bag.

 

The library is huge, quiet, and cold. Especially where the two lads are seated right now.

A group of whispers and whisper-talking and whisper-laughing could be heard but then it would be followed by the librarian’s “ssshh”, causing everyone to smile at each other and be quiet.

 

Chanyeol was just about to open his Physics book when the Library’s door slides open.

And he sees the person who always had the talent of taking his breath away.

 

Except, what’s taking his breath away right now is that, this person he always had feelings for is laughing, eyes forming a crescent moon, and he seems really.. happy. With a blond, short, beautiful girl doing the same.

 

She’s perfect.

They look good together.

3

 

This laughter was hushed by the librarian’s “sshh”, and Baekhyun and the mystery girl were giggling like girls. Baekhyun with his index finger pressed against his lips, the mystery girl is doing the same.

 

“Chanyeol..” Jongin finally notices that his bestfriend was just staring at Baekhyun and the girl he was with when he entered, his Physics book still halfway open and a pen stuck between his fingers.

 

“Chanyeol..”

 

“Oh, hi Chanyeol!” Baekhyun greets both Jongin and Chanyeol. Approaching them with the girl behind him.

 

“You’re saying hi to Chanyeol but not to me? What about me, Baek? What about everything we’ve been through?” Jongin dramatically fakes a sob.

 

Baekhyun laughs shortly. “Hi, Jongin. It’s nice to see you too. This is Taeyeon, she’s a special friend.”

Baekhyun beckons Taeyeon to see Jongin and Chanyeol, but instead Taeyeon stoops and scoots closer to Baekhyun, pulling his arm and hides her face a little.

 

“She’s the shy-type.” Baekhyun explains.

 

Special friend?

How Special?

3

 

Baekhyun looks at Chanyeol and smiles warmly. “Hey Chanyeol, got stuck with that page and you still haven’t returned my hi even with a simple, ‘hello’.” Baekhyun jokes.

 

“Hi.” Was the only word that Chanyeol managed to say. His throat was dry, he thinks he should run away and hug his pillow so he can go and cry a river.

 

But it wouldn’t change anything.

Baekhyun, the one he love—like, was taken.

He was in love with a girl named Taeyeon.

She’s perfect and they were perfect for each other.

 

“Sorry, he gets a little frustrated every time he studies Physics.” Jongin explains.

 

Baekhyun nods anyways. “Oh, I see. Taeyeon and I are looking for this book. What was that again?” Baekhyun looks at Taeyeon.

 

But before Taeyeon could respond, Baekhyun raises his finger, like a sign of ‘aha!’ “Oh, it was the, ‘How to Make Sure Your Relationship Works Out.’”

“So we’ll see you later?” Baekhyun continues.

 

“Okay, good luck with that book.” Jongin says.

 

“See you later, Chanyeol.” Baekhyun smiles at Chanyeol and pats his hand.

 

It was like his whole world wasn’t into pieces anymore.

Chanyeol thought maybe the answers to his questions were finally answered.

Baekhyun doesn’t like him.

Why would Baekhyun choose someone like Chanyeol?

 

“Why did I even think I stood a chance.,,” Chanyeol sighs and rests his head on the table.

 

Jongin looks at his friend with concern.

“You still have a chance though, steal the guy.”

 

“That wouldn’t be a very a nice thing to do, maybe he’s happy with her. I mean, by the looks of her, I think she would be very nice, caring, just.. perfect. Baekhyun deservers all of those.” Chanyeol says.

 

“Chanyeol.” Jongin starts and was interrupted by Taeyeon’s giggling as Baekhyun pinches her sides lightly, sending tickling sensations to her.

 

“Let’s get out of here. I don’t want any more of this.” Chanyeol stands without looking at Jongin, but of course Jongin knows that Chanyeol is talking to him.

 

“Okay.”

 

 

 

 

The walk to his home was a lot darker, longer, and lonely this time.

Chanyeol thought his day was not going to get any worse, being inspired that morning and then get his heart broken in just seconds.

 

“I don’t understand why love works in such mysterious ways.” Chanyeol mutters as he kick a stone on the pavements. He has both his hands tucked in his pocket, breathing the cold air as he walked alone.

 

He doesn’t understand why he’s feeling this.

 

He wants Baekhyun to be happy of course, but it would be because of Chanyeol, not some girl.

 

“That’s funny, I thought you were some love guru?” Sehun sits on Chanyeol’s bench in front of his house.

 

Chanyeol looks at Sehun, he has his legs crossed, just like how he has his arms crossed in front of his chest, like he was some life-or-death judge.

 

“Umm.. Why are you here?” Chanyeol looks at Sehun in confusion.

 

“I know you’re gonna confess so I thought you might need some advice from the real deal.” Sehun shrugs and makes space for Chanyeol to sit beside him.

 

Chanyeol understood right away and sat next to Sehun.

 

“Baekhyun. Baekhyun’s someone you should never mess with. He’s small but terrible. Mostly short people are evil, they’re closer to hell because of their height.”
 

Chanyeol laughs shortly at the guy’s joke.

 

“So… you’re saying your bestfriend’s evil?”

 

“Somewhere along those lines. But what I’m trying to tell you is that, he’s moody, and naggy, and mean. But I love him. He’s my bestfriend. And if ever you’re going to hurt him, I will shove a cactus in your .”
 

“Okay.”

 

“If ever he goes all y, that’s because that’s how he’s trying to tell you that he wants a hug, or a kiss.”

 

“Sehun, I have one question, I hope you don’t mind.”

 

“You’re gonna ask it soon anyways, so give it a shot.”

 

“Why’d you never fall for him?” Chanyeol turns his head to look at Sehun.

 

“Because…  I met the love of my life, and I know Baekhyun would be the one to kick his for hurting me.” Sehun lets out a short and somehow bitter laugh.

 

“Oh.”

 

Chanyeol thinks Baekhyun would be the best bestfriend in the world.

But it would be better to have him as your boyfriend.

But his heart is taken now, what’s the purpose of this conversation?

 

“But doesn’t he have a girlfriend already? That Taeyeon girl.”

 

Sehun looks at Chanyeol and laughs, for real this time.

 

“They’re not dating. But that Taeyeon girl likes Baekhyun, been crushing on him since the Freshmen Year, they dated before but I don’t know, Baekhyun’s always like… that.”

 

“Like what?” Chanyeol wonders.

 

“Like… he’ll love you but he’ll get tired and then he doesn’t show you and eventually he’ll give up on you. He doesn’t take relationships that serious. To the point where you’ll wonder if he actually loves you or is it one-sided.” Sehun snorts. “I’ll be surprised if he lasts 5 months with his boyfriends or girlfriends.”

 

Is this like a sign that I should just not confess---

 

BUT HE JUST SAID THAT THEY AREN’T DATING.

 

THIS IS A DOOR TO MY SUCCESSFUL CONFESSION.

 

“Remember one thing, Chanyeol.”

 

“What is it?”

 

“I think you’ll be the one for him.”
 

Chanyeol feels his cheeks heat up. “You didn’t say that just to make me feel good of myself, right?”

 

“Sadly, it was 40% to make you feel good and 60% confidence that your confession will be fine.”

 

“Woah, I feel great.” Chanyeol’s sarcasm was obvious. But Sehun’s never the type to tolerate those unless you were Baekhyun.

“Nice chatting with you, Good Luck on your big day.” Were the last words Sehun had said before standing up and leaving a grinning Chanyeol.

 

Maybe that conversation was worth it.

Baekhyun will be worth it.

 

A.N.

Hi guyysss! :D I finally updated my story, sorry I had to make you guys wait. :c Our holiday got moved so yeah.

 

Thank you for reading this long update! J

Anyone wants a shoutout? Just comment down. :D

Oh, and I'm currently working on a poster, but if anyone would like to do it, PRETTY PLLEASEEE? :D

 

-Arrnniee :)