The first time you fall in love, it changes you forever and no matter how hard you try, that feeling just never goes away. – Nicholas Sparks, The Notebook

I’m sorry….

I’m sorry….

I’m sorry….

I’m sorry….

I’m sorry….

I’m sorry….

The sight of his back turning away, the sight of him walking away from me and the words ‘I’m sorry’ that he uttered has been playing on my mind in a never-ending loop. I lied on my bed, staring at nothing. I kept on thinking what went wrong. Everything is going great or so I thought. What happened?

I still can’t understand why we need to end our friendship just because Jinwoon likes me. It doesn’t make sense. That is my problem with Jinwoon and it doesn’t concern him. Well…. it does because I feel that I’m slowly liking him but he doesn’t know that. Right? Oh my God! Does he know? Is it that obvious? Arghhhhhhh!!!!

I put my pillow on my face and screamed in frustrations. I sit up and looked at myself in the mirror. My eyes are puffy from crying, my hair is a mess and I looked like one of those pale zombies in Walking Dead minus the gore and the blood. I sigh for the millionth time.

I tried calling him but he must have learned to use the call reject feature of his phone because he kept on ignoring my calls. Three days have passed with no sign or whatsoever from him. Arghhhhh!!! I grabbed my blanket and cocooned myself in it.

After a while I felt stuffed and frustrated so I sat up on my bed and looked at my bedside table, particularly to my mom’s picture. “Omma, why are boys so complicated?” I asked her. “Is Dad like that too? Jinja! This is so frustrating!!!” I whined, pulling the blankets over my head once again and screamed onto my pillows.

Yonghwa Oppa’s face kept on appearing in my mind and I can’t help but be confused. I feel annoyed at what he did yet I still want him to talk to me. I want to get angry at him but I don’t have the heart to do so. I want to talk to him. I want to yell at him. I want to see him.

I want….

To be with him….

I miss him…..

So much….

The door to my room suddenly opened and I heard Yoona called me, “Yah! Seohyun-ah! Let’s play!” I extracted myself from the blankets and sat on my bed. Yoona was already sitting on it, playfully bouncing on it. One look at me and Yoona suddenly became serious. “What happened to you?” she asked.

“Nothing,” I answered. I went back inside my blankets, lied on the bed and covered myself with my pillows. “Yah! It’s a weekend and the weather is good. We should go out,” Yoona said, shaking my body. “I don’t want to. Go away,” I said, my voice being muffled by my pillows.

Yoona pulled the blankets away from me. She then took my pillows and hit me with it. “Yah!” I shouted at her. “What’s wrong with you?” Yoona asked. She looked at me closely and then frowned at me. “Why do you look like that?” she asked.

“What? I look like what?” I retorted with a frown of my own. I finally sat up and hugged back my pillows, pouting at my best friend. Yoona sat beside me. She took a pillow and hugged it on her lap. She stared at me. She looked at me closely as if she’s trying to read my mind. I shifted my eyes away from her.

“You looked like you’ve been dumped. What’s with the puffy eyes? Have you been crying? What I don’t understand is why do you look like that when you don’t even have a boyfriend who is available to dump you?” Yoona stated. I sigh, totally surrendering in her questioning eyes. And then, I told her everything that happened. Yoona, being the ever best friend, kept on squealing and interrupting me with her mushy imaginations until I told her the part where Yonghwa Oppa decided to end things with me. As if there is something between us except friendship.

I lied back on my bed, totally exhausted. I can feel all my energy leaving me. Yoona lied with me. Just when I was appreciating Yoona’s silence as her comfort for me, the latter started giggling. I frowned at her and pushed her away from me. She fell on the bed and shouted indignantly at me, “Yah!”

“Now you know so can you please leave me alone. I really want some ‘me’ time at the moment,” I said, ignoring her complaints. Yoona snorted at me. She sat back on the bed and pulled me to sit as well. “What’s wrong with you? I told you I want to be alone,” I said, scowling at her. Yoona just laughed at my face.

“Can’t you see? I mean, how can you be so obtuse?” Yoona asked, still giggling like a child. “See what?” I asked her. Yoona continue chuckling with glee. She heaved a deep breath, controlling her outburst before she said, “Yonghwa Oppa likes you too.”

“What? Where did you get that from?” I asked her, perplexed at what she said. Didn’t she listen to what I just told her? How in the world does she conclude that Yonghwa Oppa likes me when all I said was how he avoided me and totally cut ties with me?

“Silly, look at the facts. It’s right in front of you,” Yoona added. “Tell me. Why would Yonghwa Oppa avoid you just because Jinwoon likes you? So what if Jinwoon likes you? It shouldn’t bother him if he didn’t like you too.”

“He said that he didn’t want Jinwoon to hear about gossips about me and him. You know that it’s all over the campus,” I said, defending Yonghwa Oppa. “Exactly! It’s already all over the campus. I’m sure Jinwoon already heard it. And so what? If it’s not true then all of you shouldn’t be bothered. But since there are some truths, Yonghwa Oppa is bothered. That is why he wants to stop it before it even start,” Yoona argued.

I looked at her and seriously considered what she said. Is it? Really? Is it possible that Yonghwa Oppa likes me too? If that is true then why are we both torturing ourselves? Well, I won’t let that happen. It looks like Yonghwa Oppa and I have something important to talk to. I smiled at Yoona, grateful that she is here to help me sort this kind of things.

My thoughts were interrupted by my phone ringing. Yoona grabbed it for me and I looked and saw Kyuhyun Oppa calling me, “Hello.”

“Yah! Seohyun! What is this I am hearing about backing out of the performance?” Kyuhyun Sunbae asked me without greetings whatsoever and with obvious annoyance in his voice. “Sunbae, did you talk to Yonghwa Oppa?” I asked him. It looks like he really is serious in backing out. Well then, I won’t let him.

“I talked to Yonghwa earlier and he said that both of you agreed to back out. Did you really agree to that? Why are you backing out? Yah! It’s only a week left before the festival. Don’t add to my headaches,” Kyuhyun Sunbae said.

“I didn’t agree in backing out, Sunbae,” I answered. I heard Kyuhyun Sunbae sigh on the other end. “Look, meet me at the music club this afternoon. Let’s talk about it face to face,” Kyuhyun Sunbae ordered.

“Sunbae, will you inform Yonghwa Oppa? He’s not answering my calls and texts,” I asked him. “Sure, I will,” Kyuhyun agreed then he ended the call.

“You’re meeting Kyuhyun Sunbae?” Yoona asked upon hearing my conversation with him. I nodded then smiled wickedly. “I’ll meet Yonghwa Oppa with Kyuhyun Sunbae later,” I shared. Yoona squealed and pinched both of my cheeks. “You are soooo cute,” she shrieked. I laughed at her and then she went and hugged me. Ahhh! The perks of having a crazy best friend. I just let her do her thing while I plan on what I will say when I meet Yonghwa Oppa.

I was completely relaxed while walking towards the music club. I planned it all, what I will say, what he might say and my counter-arguments. But when I saw the door to the music club, my nervousness returned tenfold. What if Yoona was wrong? What if Yonghwa Oppa just didn’t like me? What if he just wanted nothing to do with me? Argh! Cursed these what-ifs! I inhaled then exhaled, trying to relax before I opened the door.

I saw Yonghwa Oppa sitting in front so I squared my shoulders and walked up to him. I sat on the chair beside him. “Annyeong, Oppa,” I greeted him but he remained quiet. He looked at me and then avoided my eyes again. “Are we also pretending that we don’t know each other?” I asked him sarcastically.

Before he can answer, the door opened and Kyuhyun Sunbae entered the room. He saw both of us and smiled with obvious relief. “Good! You’re both here already. Let’s do this quick since I have a meeting with the student council about the security preparations for the festival,” he said hurriedly. He looked at the both of us with an expression that I can’t identify. It is between suspicious and teasing.

“So… why do you suddenly want to back out?” he asked. He looked at Yonghwa Oppa first then at me. “It was Yonghwa Oppa’s idea. I didn’t agree to it. You should ask him,” I answered, putting the spotlight on Yonghwa Oppa.

Yonghwa Oppa exhaled before saying, “I would love to perform ---“ I smirked hearing this, “but I’ve been busy with school work. You know I’m trying to catch up and I’m finding a hard time juggling the two,” he continued. He looked at me, perhaps waiting if I will counter what he said. I remained silent and let Kyuhyun Sunbae handle it.

“Yah! I’m in law school. I know how hard it is to juggle these things. I’m busy too but I persevere because I’m passionate in this. I made a commitment and so do you. Plus, it doesn’t make sense to back out of the performance in only a week left. I’m pretty sure you’ve practiced a countless times. How about this, you can rest and focus on school work this week. Just scheduled one last practice, preferably a day before the performance then perform on the scheduled date. That’s the best that I can give you,” Kyuhyun Sunbae offered. “It will be too late if I change the program now so I really need you two to perform.”

Yonghwa Oppa tried to argue but I stopped him. “We’ll do it,” I said to Kyuhyun Sunbae. I looked at Yonghwa Oppa pointedly, trying to silently tell him to just agree. Fortunately, he didn’t complain again and just remain silent.

“Well, that’s it. I’m glad we’ve reached an agreement,” Kyuhyun Sunbae said, clapping his hands for effect. “I need to go. I’m running late for my next meeting. See you two at the festival,” he said, walking towards the door. When he reached the door, he turned back at us and smiled wickedly, “I seriously like your partnership. Your practice performances just ooze with chemistry. It’s superb! I’m just relieved you won’t back out. Remember, keep it professional. Leave your petty lover’s quarrel out of the performance. Love you both!” He opened the door and left us both with awkwardness floating in the air because of what he said. I cleared my throat and hang my bag on my shoulder,” I’ll see you at rehearsals, Oppa.” I walked away not waiting for his reply. What she didn’t saw was how crest-fallen Yonghwa’s face when she left him.

---------------------------

Jungshin sat at his family dining table. He is having dinner with his dad, Chairman Lee Hongki, the renowned businessman with his successful chain of restaurants, his mom Lizzy Park who is the best housewife and a mother for him and his older brother Lee Seungki, the most popular theatre actor in Korea.

It’s been a while since his family has been complete in a dining table eating dinner. They have been busy with their work that often times it’s just him and his mom in the house. His dad’s business required him to be in different locations depending on which restaurant he’s monitoring, seeing as he is the hands-on type of a chairman. He makes sure to check if everything is going smoothly with the business that is why he is often not home.

Meanwhile, Seungki-hyung has an apartment of his own though he also rarely stays there. He usually can be found in Seoul Arts Center Opera Theatre, deep down in rehearsals for his numerous plays and musicals.

“How are the play rehearsals, Seungki?” Hongki asked his eldest son. “Your mom is complaining that he hardly sees you and whenever she tries to contact you, you’re always busy.” Seungki smiled at his dad and then at his mom. “We’ve been busy since the showcase is nearing. We’re doing our best to provide a perfect performance. Omma, mianhe. I’ll make it up to you,” Seungki said, consoling his parents.

“You better!” Lizzy joked and then she proceeded in giving more food in Seungki’s plate. “Eat more. I feel like you’re too thin. Do they not give you food there?” she asked fuzzing at Seungki. Seungki just smiled and eat the food his mother put on his plate.

“How about you, Shinnie? How is your project going?” Hongki asked him. Jungshin looked up at his father. “It’s going great, Abeoji. I just finished sending my initial investigation on the project. Also, I’m starting another project,” Jungshin shared.

“That’s good to hear. I’m sure you’re Uncle Jonghyun would be proud of you,” Hongki said, nodding his head in appreciation. “Thanks, Abeoji. About Uncle Jonghyun, I would like to talk to you about something. Is it ok if you can give me some time today?” Jungshin asked his father.

Hongki stopped eating. Seungki and Lizzy too stopped eating and looked between Jungshin and Hongki. An intense silence surrounded the dining room. “What is it about?” Seungki asked his younger brother. Lizzy, their mother is still checking Hongki’s reaction. “I’ll tell you about it after I talked to Abeoji, Hyung,” Jungshin offered. He looked at Seungki with a serious expression despite the smile that he tried to give to him.

Hongki cleared his throat and the three looked at him, wary of what he will say. Jonghyun and everything related to him has always been a sensitive topic to Jungshin’s family. It was hard when Jungshin informed his dad that he wanted to be a scientist like his uncle. Hongki didn’t agree at first, citing that it was dangerous and that he didn’t want what happen to Jonghyun to happen with Jungshin Jungshin tried his best to convince his dad and persevere and finally got the consent of his father. As long as he will focus on less dangerous projects and that he will ask for advice first before accepting projects, Hongki eventually agreed. But the fears still linger especially whenever Hongki sees Jungshin’s progress and how similar he is to his uncle.

“Is it important?” Hongki asked, looking at Jungshin. Jungshin nodded, “Ne, Abeoji.” Hongki slightly dip his head in assent, “Alright, let’s talk after dinner.” Jungshin smiled in relief, “Thanks Abeoji.” Hongki just nodded his head and the dinner continues.

After eating, Seungki and Lizzy went to the living room to talk about the new plays that will come out this season. Meanwhile, Jungshin followed his father to his office. Hongki sat on his chair and motioned for Jungshin to sit in front of him, his desk in between them.

“Now, tell me. What do you want to talk about?” Hongki asked, straight to the point. Jungshin breathe deeply then looked at his father. “The new project that I will work on is cryonics, Abeoji,” he finally said. Hongki remained stoic and calm despite the bombshell that Jungshin just dropped. “Why cryonics? Are there no other projects available? You know how I feel about that part of science,” Hongki said.

“Abeoji, it has always been my dream to follow in uncle Jonghyun’s footsteps. I want to continue his project. I want to honor him. I want to give him his legacy. Please help me,” Jungshin somberly asked his father. Hongki bowed his head and rubbed his temples. A long silence stood between the father and son. He is in a dilemma. He took his son’s hand and squeezed it. “How can I stop you if you asked me so earnestly? How can I not agree when you’re doing it for a noble reason, for our family and most of all for Jonghyun? Tell me, how?”

Jungshin squeezed back Hongki’s hands, “Abeoji, I really want to do this. I know I can do this. Please let me. Give me a chance to prove myself. I’ll be careful. Extra careful. Please Abeoji.” Hongki sighed in defeat. He patted his son’s hands and smiled at him. “If that is really what you want, I’ll support you. Just don’t try to freeze one of your best friends,” Hongki said trying to lighten the mood.

Jungshin’s face turned into a more serious expression, “About that, Abeoji I need to tell you something.” Hongki stared at his son, noticing his somber expression. “What is it?” he asked.

“About Jung Yonghwa….” Jungshin said, trying to stall time in order to gather courage. “What about him?” Hongki asked, waiting for Jungshin to tell him.

“He’s alive,” Jungshin revealed to his father. Hongki’s eyes got big with surprise. The calm façade that he was projecting shattered at Jungshin’s words. His hands trembled and he didn’t know what to do or say. “We found the cryotank in which he was frozen into,” Jungshin added.

“That is impossible. Yonghwa died together with Jonghyun in that fire,” Hongki said, shaking his head and reminding Jungshin of what happened. Jungshin held his father’s hands tightly. “There was no body recovered Abeoji. We only got uncle Jonghyun’s body and his machines that didn’t get destroyed by the fire. One of those machines is the cryotank. Remember when I asked you to give me all of uncle Jonghyun’s things and his notes?” Jungshin asked his father. Hongki nodded yes. He was rendered speechless. “I stored them in my laboratory intending to study it when I have time. My friends visited me early last spring and they accidently opened uncle Jonghyun’s cryotank. We saw Jung Yonghwa there. He was frozen for forty years Abeoji.”

“That is impossible,” Hongki muttered, unable to believe Jungshin’s words. “Don’t you see, Abeoji? Uncle Jonghyun’s experiment succeeded. Jung Yonghwa is alive. He is the first person ever to be alive after going under cryopreservation,” Jungshin explained.

“Where is he? Where is Yonghwa? Is he healthy? Are there no side effects? Did he not age at all? How is he alive after forty years?” Hongki said asking the questions that is inside his mind. “He’s healthy Aboeji. For now…”

“What do you mean?” Hongki asked. “The reason why I wanted to continue uncle Jonghyun’s study is to make sure that the experiment is really successful. I have my doubts and I wanted to confirm it. Jung Yonghwa is an anomaly in the science world and I want to study that anomaly I want to make sure before I publish uncle Jonghyun’s study and honor him,” Jungshin answered.

“Can I meet him?” Hongki asked. Jungshin nodded. “He’d loved to meet you. He’s asking for it actually but you were away for business trips.” Hongki slightly relaxed at his son’s words. He is relieved that Yonghwa is alright. He just hopes that he continues to be fine. “Schedule a meeting. I’d love to talk to Yonghwa,” Hongki asked his son.

--------------------------

Jinwoon was in the hospital pantry having his much deserved break when Ilwoo entered and spotted him. “There you are!” Ilwoo said. He sat beside Jinwoon and took a piece of his sandwich. “Yah! Go get your own food,” Jinwoon shouted at his older brother. He put his foods away from him. Ilwoo just cheekily grabbed some and quickly put it in his mouth. “Yah!” Jinwoon shouted in annoyance.

Ilwoo just laughed at Jinwoon’s annoyance. “Relax, I just took a little. Why are you so stingy?” Jinwoon huffed at Ilwoo. “Go get your own food. Don’t steal mine.” Ilwoo laughed and Jinwoon finally smiled after a while. “So, what do you want?” Jinwoon asked his brother.

“What makes you say I want something?” Ilwoo asked back. Jinwoon continued eating while he narrowed his eyes at his brother. “You wouldn’t find me if you don’t need anything from me,” Jinwoon stated. Ilwoo nodded his head in approval, “Nice, you know me too well little brother.”

“What is it?” Jinwoon asked. Ilwoo took out his phone and gave it to Jinwoon. “Put Jungshin’s contact number,” he said. Jinwoon frowned but eventually followed his hyung’s favor. “Why do you need Jungshin?” he asked while he typed Jungshin’s contact details in Ilwoo’s phone.

“I need his professional expertise in one of my cases,” Ilwoo vaguely answered. “Hey, have you heard about the hospital charity gala?” Ilwoo asked his brother. Jinwoon bobbed his head in answer. “Dad told me about it earlier this week.”

“Dad is planning to introduce Yonghwa there. He wants the board members to know him," Ilwoo shared what he and their father talked about. “That is a good timing. I’m sure the board will be surprised,” Jinwoon s