Jiyong sat the in crowd with Youngbae- The stage placed in front of them, between the idols and the fans like a divider. All through the ceremony fans scream and shout and still slightly hungover Jiyong's head hurts. As more awards go out, the pair become more impatient. Next to Youngbae, Seungri and Daesung chat among themselves unaware of what is really going on. Jiyong checks his phone, looking for a text or some sign Seunghyun is on his way.

“Jiyong--” Youngbae calls out but Jiyong doesn't hear, he's too absorbed in his phone, too absorbed into his emotions.

“Yah!” Youngbae snaps whist hitting Jiyong on the arm causing Jiyong to look up seeing Seunghyun making his way down to them. Jiyong's throat goes dry; and mind blank - he picks up the nearest bottle of vitamin water and takes a generous sip. To Jiyong's surprise, Seunghyun keeps approaching, unlike normal he'd sit with the others, they didn't often have many interactions in public together- not since John and Soohyuk.

“” Jiyong mumbled adding 2 and 2 together. Seunghyun had built a wall up between them whist they ventured on their own journeys. All the skinship before, that wasn't for show- that was real, raw. It meant something. Jiyong felt weak, his stomach filling with butterflies as Seunghyun placed himself in the seat next to him. There eyes met briefly as a greeting. Jiyong looked at the stage whist wiping the sweat from his forehead, feeling like he's in a sauna but he couldn't remove the smile from his face. Seeing Jiyong's smile in the corner of his eye made Seunghyun feel nervous, looking away to hide his flushed cheeks in slight embarrassment. They hadn't talked about last night-- and couldn't. Not now. It wasn't the time nor the place. It was mainly silent, none of the members really talked during these kind of shows, there was really not much to say. They attended for the sake of their company--none of them really wanted to be here.

But as soon as the name “G Dragon” was read out, it was a sudden shock. Jiyong was already shaken up due to his nerves but this was real. He'd accepted many awards in his time but this felt different. He couldn't move.

“Ji-- what's wrong?” Seunghyun uttered as Youngbae now looked at him in worry. Jiyong was tearing up-- for the second time today.

“He's froze. We might need to take him up there.” Youngbae said before Seunghyun pulled Jiyong up from his seat, taking charge and anyone who didn't know the full situation that was going on between them would have thought this was normal. Jiyong regained some of reality as he started moving on his own, composing himself as well as possible but Youngbae and Seunghyun stood either side of him, Seunghyun's arm around the younger males shoulders, guiding him to the stage as Daesung and Seungri followed in support. Jiyong didn't know what to say. But soon enough he was in front of the microphone and accepting the award.

“Ah-- I feel how I felt when I accepted my first award with Bigbang-- I'm so nervous right now” Jiyong said trying not to think about anything.

“I'm very grateful to accept this award and I'm thankful for everyone that has supported me” Jiyong continued. Seunghyun hadn't let go of Jiyong's yet though- He took a deep breath trying to block it out, trying not to over think every touch, every word of support being uttered and whispered to him.

“I don't normally get this nervous. But I'm very thankful. I'll keep doing my best to make you all proud.” Jiyong spoke again causing roars of cheers to be heard. He smiled at that moment.

“Thank you” He said before exciting the stage with the overly excited members. His tears had stopped, only to be replaced by a smile, seeing all the other members and fans looking so proud and excited for him, he couldn't help but feel somewhat joyful – even though things were complicated.

///////

Seunghyun could feel Jiyong shaking with his arm around him-- The younger male was all over the place, his nerves, emotions, everything had gotten the better of him but the smile he had on his face at the current time made Seunghyun almost sigh in relief.

“I'm going to take him out for a smoke and drink-- we'll be back in a bit. It won't be long.” Seunghyun said stating what was going to happen. Before Youngbae had the time to persist Seunghyun had already moved, taking Jiyong with him.

“Man- I've not seen you this emotional since, well, since the day I asked you to live with me.” Seunghyun uttered softly whist they made their way to the bar. Jiyong laughed softly, not really sure what to say to the statement.

“Vodka, on the rocks.” Jiyong ordered before the bartender looked at Seunghyun, curious as to what drink he wants to order.

“I'll have the same-- also, two glasses of Moet.” Seunghyun said knowing both of them would down the vodka in a heartbeat.

“I think everything caught up with me” Jiyong laughed, finding his previous actions ridiculously cringe worthy.

“That's the first time I've made a complete of myself on stage-- seriously, what the was I thinking. Why did I freeze like that let alone cry – .” Jiyong said aloud even though it sounded like it was his own thoughts leaking out of his head.

The bartender passed them there drinks, and as predicted Jiyong slammed down the vodka, making Jiyong almost gag. He felt sick, the taste of straight vodka tends to do that to Jiyong in response he picked up the glass of champange drinking it, taking the vile taste from his mouth away. Seunghyun followed though, not having as much of a problem keeping the vodka down.

“You know what, can I just have the bottle please” Seunghyun asked as Jiyong finished his champagne almost drinking most of the glass in a gulp. Jiyong didn't protest, if anything he thought it would help his nerves. Seunghyun paid and they left, finding a back exit that celebreties could escape through in confidence. Jiyong pulled out a cigarette with his shaky hands, lighting it within seconds.

“I talked with Soo-Hyuk today-” Jiyong said openly, wanting to be honest with Seunghyun. The older male had no initial reaction, he just pulls out his own cigarette, lighting it and dragging hard. Seunghyun was like that, you couldn't often tell what he's thinking by looking at him. He's more complex than that. Silence built up.

“How'd that go?” Seunghyun asked, not even criticizing Jiyong for his actions. Jiyong almost expected Seunghyun to get angry about it, but he didn't.

“Okay, I guess. We agreed to try and be friends for the benefit of not feeling awkward in each other presence” Jiyong uttered causing Seunghyun to nod and pull a approval face.

“but I've had a hectic day, heard a lot, done a lot, froze in shock a few times. Completely record breaking.” Jiyong laughed at his own misfortune.

“Hey-- did you say anything interesting to Youngbae last night?” Jiyong asked straight up causing Seunghyun to look at Jiyong in a almost worried manner.

“Li-Like what?” Seunghyun stuttered whist his own nerves built up quicker than he could calm down. He was bad in situations like these.

“About John...” Jiyong said causing a sigh of relief to hit Seunghyun.

“About me...” Jiyong added causing the panic to come just as quickly as it went. He didn't know what to say, he didn't know how to be honest with someone he'd known most of his life. He was scared.

“I probably said a lot of interesting things last night-- I was drunk after all.” Seunghyun said avoiding eye contact.

“You made a lot of interesting actions too, huh?” Jiyong said in a slightly sassy tone before looking down in shock he'd just even said that.

“Sorry. I didn't really mean for that to come out the way it did. I'm not exactly great at conveying how I'm feeling in words.” Jiyong muttered slightly embarrassed but in a way Jiyong was glad he brought it up – after all, it needed to come out sooner or later.

“But this is the second time it's happened, like aren't we supposed to acknowledged it's happened, talk about it or something?” Jiyong asked, completely and utterly clueless as what to do or say at this point, knowing he'd thrown himself into the deep end.

“Ah-” Seunghyun said whist adjusting his glasses. “You're my bestfriend, I've grown up with you. In this situation I'm not sure what to do or even say about it. I just don't want you to vanish from my life, so It makes me a little scared to bring it up” Seunghyun added causing Jiyong to nod slowly, understanding Seunghyun's point of view on the situation. So he smiled softly, not feeling as awkward knowing it was difficult for them both to talk about it.

“I know what Youngbae told me was true. I doubted it, but once I thought about it, it all made so much sense...” Jiyong uttered causing Seunghyun to look down.

“But right now-- since Soohyuk, you must know it's hard to trust anyone right? I don't know if I can just jump into somethi--” Jiyong was cut off by Seunghyun.

“I'm not asking you too- after all, I don't know if I'm ready for that either. I might seem fairly relaxed about these things- but , it completely scares me. Even if we did decide to give it a shot, who's to say it wouldn't up- then what? What happens to all the years we've built our friendship on, what happens to bigbang. It wouldn't be the same.” Seunghyun replied and at that moment Jiyong realised it was way more deeper than what he originally thought. Jiyong was living a fairly tale, one which he imaged Seunghyun being prince charming, sweeping him away on his horse to his happily ever after-- of course now, thanks to Seunghyun's wise words, he realises life doesn't work like that. Jiyong almost laughed.

“But Seung-- what now?” Jiyong asked slightly concerned, Seunghyun looked up at him, seeing the fearful expression on his face. Seunghyun placed his hand on the younger males cheek and like that they locked eyes, Jiyong was unable to look away, blushing softly from the sudden touch.

“You know how I feel, right? So I need you to be sure so until then, we'll just remain the same as we've always been.” Seunghyun stated, Jiyong was speechless so in that moment all his could do is nod.

“And no more -” Seunghyun laughed causing Jiyong to laugh with him, losing the seriousness of the situation.

“I can't promise that- And never mind me, you're the worst for that after a few drinks!” Jiyong complained in a playful manner causing Seunghyun to smirk devilishly into his campaign glass.

“And you're not?” Suenghyun uttered back causing the younger male to shrug before taking a sip of his drink.

“I have my ways I suppose” Jiyong said half admitting he might be slightly flirty and seductive when needed. Seunghyun smirked at Jiyong's reply before his phone started buzzing.

“Yah! You better get back here. You're up for nomination” Seungri bellowed down the other end of Seunghyun's phone. Just like that Seunghyun stood up, Jiyong looked almost bewildered, surprised at his sudden movements.

“I'm up for nomination.” Seunghyun said with blatant nervousness. Jiyong picked up the champaign bottle and his glass, holding them firmly in one hand as Jiyong placed his arm briefly around Seunghyun comforting him as they walked in.

“DOOM DA DA DIVI DA DA” Jiyong smiled causing Seunghyun to laugh a bit whist walking back through to their seats. Youngbae looked at Jiyong in slight worry, but when he saw them both smiling he felt relief. Even though the line between friendship and something stronger and more complicated than that had been blurred, Jiyong still felt he'd got a lot off of his chest today. He felt there was some kind of resolution and that made him feel normal again. When Seunghyun's stage name was called out, They hugged, celebrating they were so pleased and Jiyong was proud.

Like the same routine they took Seunghyun to the state; they didn't want it to seem odd if they did for Jiyong but not Seunghyun. Priorities. Priorities are important when in front of so many people.

“I feel very humble excepting this award and honestly, I'm almost shocked. I didn't expect this song to do well, it was something that I experimented with, something I wanted to hear. A whole different style of music but I'm glad you all supported me-- I hope I can make more music you all love. Thank you~” Seunghyun's voice was filled with emotion, Jiyong hadn't seen him this happy in a while and seeing Seunghyun happy seemed to make him happy.

////////////////

All five of them were exhausted, it had been a long day for all of them. Seunghyun ordered a taxi home with Jiyong since it made sense, them living together. They both seemed relatively happy and in high spirits since they'd both won awards. The drink probably helped with that though. Unlike last night though, comparison wise they seemed sober. Jiyong stared out of the window deep in thought.

“Ah-- What's the time? It seems so late.” Jiyong asked whist looking at the street lights shining in the darkness outside.

“It's nearing 12pm...” Seunghyun replied after looking at his watch, the day had flown by, it almost scares Jiyong when time rushes by so fast.

“Tomorrow should be chilled though-- for once there's no schedules” Jiyong mumbles causing Seunghyun to sigh softly before looking at the younger male.

“Lucky you... I'm going to Japan for a few days--” Seunghyun said whist recalling his plans causing Jiyong to look up at him in curiousity.

“Hmm? How come?” Jiyong asked in interest not knowing the reason why Seunghyun was fleeing to Japan so suddenly.

“I have a film award ceremony I have to attend there” Seunghyun said with dread in his voice, Seunghyun knew fully well it could cause serious damage to him being there.

“he'll be there then?” Jiyong asked almost like a possessive boyfriend causing Seunghyun to smile at his cautiousness. Jiyong's eyes were back out of the window.

“Yeah—He will” Seunghyun replied honestly. Jiyong remained quiet after that point up until they arrived at Seunghyun's. He didn't know what to say, or even how to feel about John being near Seunghyun. It just made him feel odd. They arrived at Seunghyun's, Jiyong felt somewhat sorrowful; Maybe it was the news of Seunghyun leaving-- or maybe it was just how emotionally drained he felt after his hectic day full over bearing emotions and situations.

“Yah-- I think I'm going to sleep.” Jiyong uttered whist running his hand through his hair. Seunghyun could see the tiredness radiating from the younger male and nodded even though he wanted him to stay.

“I don't blame you-- You barely slept a wink last night.” Seunghyun said as Jiyong walked off down the corridor slowly. Jiyong smiled at his comment, laughing somewhat subtly under his breath.

“I wonder why Seunghyun” Jiyong's voice echoed throughout the apartment causing Seunghyun to smile; Even now in Jiyong's state, he's still able to be witty and sarcastic. Jiyong gets to his room and throws his clothes off, strolling around in his boxer shorts- he soon collapses on his bed, but he can't sleep, he just can't. He looked at the pot of sleeping pills and sighed – He didn't want to have to rely on medication, he hated it.

So Jiyong moved and sat in his own en suite, smoking a joint. He didn't like smoking directly in the room; he didn't like the smell lingering on the stuff, but in the en suite it's fine. The extractor fan helps. Jiyong was tired and was being stubborn-, he wanted to spend time with Seunghyun but he didn't want to seem to clingy. In fact, not being 100% sure of his own feelings, he didn't want to lead him on. Jiyong had to think about every action and every word. But the force is almost too much, Jiyong grabs his dressing gown, the one he used in his crayon MV, he fell in love with it more than he should have and before Jiyong knows it he's wandered into the front room where Seunghyun is sat- His ruffled hair, glasses, red wine and book. Jiyong's footsteps cause Seunghyun to look up almost surprised.

“I can't sleep, I even tried to smoke but it's a lonely thing smoking alone.” Jiyong uttered causing Seunghyun to smile.

“C'mon we'll smoke in my room” He said before taking his 'weed' box from under the glass coffee table, moving it and them into his own room. Jiyong wrapped himself in Seunghyun's bed, wanting to feel comfort.

“Are you not taking your sleeping tablets anymore?” Seunghyun asked carefully, not knowing whether Jiyong was aware that he knew about them. Jiyong looked up at Seunghyun almost surprised, but he didn't question how he knew or why he knew.

“I don't really like taking them. I can't rely on them forever, even the doctor said that.” Jiyong answered honestly causing Seunghyun to nod knowing Jiyong was right.

“What time are you leaving?” Jiyong asked as Seunghyun placed himself beside Jiyong carefully.

“Urm--, Hyung is coming to get me at 5am, so 4 hours from now.” Seunghyun said whist counting the hours in his head before yawning.

“-- that's early... How long are you gone for? You don't you feel odd me staying her without you?” Jiyong was being curious, but he was always curious about Seunghyun's feelings and opinions, since the man is so damn mysterious.

“I'm only staying there a night-- You'll survive without me I'm sure.” Seunghyun said before lighting and dragging on a joint causing Jiyong to smile softly.

“And no. It's fine you being here. It's like we share the place now anyway.” Seunghyun uttered as Jiyong's head hit the pillow. He lit his own joint, smoking freely without much fear of the world around him whist staring up at the ceiling.

“That's true-- it'll still be odd with you gone though” Jiyong added causing Seunghyun to smile innocently before he reached for his laptop, using the blue tooth to play music from his wireless speakers. It was surprising how much Jiyong had gotten used to living here-- It was only just over a year ago they left their dorms that they'd all shared. During that time they'd all got on with their own lives, venturing on their own adventures. Seungri was always on talk shows, mainly in Japan, releasing his own album. Daesung had his own Japanese activities as well as a Japanese album and tour, Youngbae released an album, as did Jiyong. Seunghyun, well in between filming he'd released a single. But still, all of them had their own activities, completely separate from each other.

In the time Jiyong had lived with Seunghyun, especially the previous few weeks, All five of them had come together more- they'd started recording a new album. Everything just seemed to be falling into place, It was probably the best time for Jiyong to go through a break up since he had all this support from s in general.

“It'll be odd leaving-- but I’ll be back before you know it. Just don't throw any crazy parties, I don't want any more damaged property.” Seunghyun laughed softly seeing the more comical side of things making Jiyong scoff.

“You seem to be better than earlier” Seunghyun stated, whist looking him up and down watching his reactions and subtle body language.

“Hmm-- Well I'm not a nervous, shaky wreak now, so I guess I'm feeling better” Jiyong smirked before inhaling, thinking about how today had been completely mental in every aspect.

“The drinks at the venue kinda helped take the edge of things though-” Jiyong added causing Seunghyun to smile. In Seunghyun's mind a drink always makes things seem less intimidating.

“Thanks for looking after me today” Jiyong whispered after sometime of silence causing Seunghyun to look at the Younger male.

“Yah, You don't have to thank me... You should know that” Seunghyun was honest, he already knew Jiyong was thankful-- He didn't need to hear it. He knew the gratitude was there.

“It's nice knowing someone appreciates you, stop being so modest.” Jiyong protested, Seunghyun blew the smoke in Jiyong's face causing the younger male to pout.

“Sometimes you really are just like a big kid.” Seunghyun couldn't help but laugh and at the comment Jiyong made, Jiyong liked Seunghyun laughing-- it sounded natural, not at all forced. He felt at home with Seunghyun; he knew that much.

“S-Seung?” Jiyong said carefully, stuttering slightly with slight embarrassment.

“Hmm?” Seunghyun replied as he watched the younger male inhale casually, little did Seunghyun know he was chain smoking in order to feel high enough to ask him a question.

“Can I stay in here tonight?” Jiyong asked with a little more confidence causing Seunghyun to let out a single subtle laugh under his breath, slightly surprised but it was even more of a compliment.

“Well that's a bold question” Seunghyun uttered finding it somewhat amusing, he was honest, for Jiyong asking to stay the night did seem forward.

“I didn't mean it like that--” Jiyong stated causing Seunghyun to laugh more, finding it funny that Jiyong has to think so much into everything when Seunghyun's intentions were also innocent.

“I know you didn't--” Seunghyun laughed “And yes, you can stay.” He added causing Jiyong to feel at ease. Jiyong knew that being in bed with another person would equal the opportunity to sleep without prescribed medication that makes him feel more tired when he wakes up than he did to begin with. After smoking, the pair slowly drifted off into their dream worlds. Neither of them felt odd-- after all the amount of times they'd shared beds together was beyond uncountable. It was comfortable, secure, safe.

///////////////