002:

Jiyong was lost in his won darkness; he'd not left his bed in days, he'd not eaten, not communicated with the outside world, nothing. He'd locked himself away in a place where he feels safe. The most he was able to manage was a shower a day, every time he tried to eat he was sick-- he had no motivation. He was stuck. His eyes flutter open from the sound of his doorbell; he ignored it-- convincing himself to not bother. He tried to close his eyes and sleep more. Gaho began barking loudly though – and the sound persisted, the sound of the door bell, on and off, on and off, over and over again. He swore under his breath and slumped his way over to his front door.

"Stay" Jiyong intructed Gaho, not wanting to hear more barks when he awnsers the door. Jiyong wasn't sure what to expect when he opened the doo rbut he certainly didn't expect to see a slightly torn up Seunghyun with worry in his eyes.

“Seung-” Jiyong's word got cut off and Seunghyun flung his arms around the younger male in worry. Jiyong closed his eyes, feeling comfort in Seunghyun's embrace. He wrapped his arms around him desperately needing some form of hope to cling onto.

“I was so worried--” Seunghyun stated in blatant desperation; the raw emotion in his voice made Jiyong break down, hearing his worry he felt guilty. Jiyong fell to the floor, Seunghyun following still embracing the now emotionally wrecked boy.

“You can't stay here, not like this--” Seunghyun uttered softly hearing Jiyonv cry his heart out.

“Let me get you a tissue.” Seunghyun said whist placing Jiyong on the sofa before fleeing to get him some tissues. Seunghyun found himself in the bathroom, looking at himself in the mirror-- even he looked a state with his blackened eyes. He'd never seen Jiyong this way. Still, he grabbed tissues and went back to Jiyong; whom had seemed to calm down a little. Seunghyun kneeled down in front of him and wiped his tears away. Their eyes met and locked.

“You're right... I can't stay here. I put the apartment up on the market the day I last saw you. There's too many memories here that I can't be around. It's too much.” Jiyong muttered quietly causing Seunghyun to sigh softly.

“Then it's time to move you out. C'mon, go pack. You and Gaho can stay at mine.” Seunghyun stated; Seunghyun was always like this reliable and thoughtful, full of generosity. Jiyong's eyes for that moment, lit up. Something Seunghyun hadn't seen for a while and a emotional state that Jiyong hadn't experienced for a while.

Whist Jiyong went to pack, Seunghyun made them both coffee- he glanced down at the bin to see a large number of empty bottles of alcohol. His worry built up more. Inbetween packing Jiyong sat down with Seunghyun and had his cup of coffee. Jiyong pulled out a box from under the glass table, revealing many pre-rolled joints, a bag of weed, a grinder, papers, tobacco and a lighter. Seunghyun watched him spark up in interest; the action's Jiyong making reminding him of himself.

“Here.” Jiyong said whist passing Seunghyun a joint of his own, the older male accepted with thanks.

“Look at me” Seunghyun uttered after Jiyong took a drag. Jiyong's head shot in Seunghyun's direction in plain curiosity.

“huh?” Jiyong echoed in confusion as Seunghyun approached Jiyong, lighting his joint from the tip of Jiyong's joint positioned steadily between his lips; easy and more convenient. A soft smirk lit up Jiyong's face funding Seunghyun's actions somewhat amusing and comforting.

“You know you don't have to do this for me, I'll be okay...” Jiyong said almost persisting, feeling like an unwanted burden.

“I do. You know I do.” Seunghyun stated causing Jiyong to sigh and fall back into the sofa, afraid to leave, afraid to move on but he knew it needed to be done -- So he gained all the courage he could and went with it, hoping and praying this would be the awnser to his happiness.

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Jiyong felt a bit withheld moving in with Seunghyun: not because it was Seunghyun's apartment, or that he was around Seunghyun because that wasn't the reason – he felt withheld because he wasn't sure how to cope with himself. He had no positive emotions when he first moved into Seunghyun's place –

As the days passed, Jiyong tried to get back into some kind of routine as Seunghyun worked on filming for an upcoming film that was due to be released at the end of the year. If Jiyong wasn't at the studio, trying to work on music then he'd be at Seunghyun's place, tidying or just keeping himself occupied by reading, composing or watching TV. Seunghyun would come back every night to a glass (or a bottle depending on his mood) of wine and a meal – normally what Jiyong had ordered, but as time went on, Jiyong started cooking.

2 weeks after moving into Seunghyun's a routine had built up: but on arrival Jiyong wasn't in sight and that worried Seunghyun more than it should. Seunghyun had a hunch and fled his apartment, He drove in a rushed manner whist heading to YG. If anywhere, anywhere at all, Jiyong would be there. The security looked at Seunghyun like he was almost mad: after all, alone, Seunghyun never came to YG after a certain time, not unless they were recording or had schedule. Still, he entered the building, walking through the silent, empty corridors hoping the younger male would be somewhere around here.

He walked into the main studio where he saw Jiyong, he was passed out in front of the computer that he was working at. Seunghyun approached slowly, almost cautiously. The screen was full of lyrics – He'd been working hard. Beside him was a prescription and a bottle of tablets which were on view from his bag. Seunghyun picked the perscriptions and pills up: anaylising them in slight concern.

“Sleeping pills” Seunghyun uttered before picking up the younger male, moving him from the chair to the sofa, knowing there wasn't much chance of him waking up. He put the pills and perscription back in Jiyong's bag and throughly looked through the lyrics Jiyong had composed.

I've not slept in weeks,

Insomnia has become a part of me,

Every night I toss and turn,

Hoping my eyes will shut,  bringing me back to reality.

It hit Seunghyun then – because of all of his own stress of filming and interviews he'd not noticed that the younger male hadn't been able to sleep. A wave of guilt hit him hard. Seunghyun sighed before doing his own portion of the work, knowing that one day or another, he'd have to be here, writing and composing lyrics.

The rain falling from the sky,

The smell of smoke from my cigarette,

When did this all become so familiar?

The tears that fall from my tired eyes

When did I forget how to smile?

Seunghyun hurt deep inside, because Jiyong isn't the only one who's hurting, who has problems – Seunghyun wrote more, completely engulfed in making lyrics, even random ones – anything that could be composed into a song. It hit 4 in the morning and Seunghyun found himself on the other sofa – eyes shut, trying to escape his reality once again.

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Jiyong woke up abruptly, falling off of the small sofa – being used to a double bed Jiyong almost had a heart attack whist hitting the floor.

“ sake” The younger male grunted in frustration as he looked around, gathering his surroundings whist rubbing his eyes. His heart almost stopped when he saw Seunghyun sleeping on the other sofa.

“H-how?” Jiyong asked whist sitting on the floor confused.

“You really worry about me, huh?” Jiyong muttered softly with a smile, feeling needed once in his life before finding his feet, moving over to the computer to save his work, knowing fully well that he fell asleep on the chair in front of the computer and not the sofa. Jiyong scanned the document, seeing added lyrics from Seunghyun causing him to read intently. He looked back at Seunghyun who slept peacefully before walking out of the room. He looked at his watch – it had just gone 6am, He felt bad for Seunghyun knowing again, he probably got no sleep. He walked down the hallway, down a flight of stairs to the cafeteria, getting two coffees.

Jiyong had walked into Seunghyun's world abruptly and even though Seunghyun had his own problems, he took Jiyong in, knowing that Jiyong felt like a burden. He walked back to the studio, coffee's in hand pacing over to Seunghyun, kneeling down before him.

“Seunghyunie~” Jiyong cooed sweetly causing Seunghyun to groan before opening his eyes – Seunghyun was dazed and confused but he sat up abruptly, rubbing his eyes, not getting a clear eye sight. Seunghyun blinked a few times before looking down at the Younger male who had placed himself firmly on the floor beneath the older male.

“Here” Jiyong said before passing him a hot cup of coffee, Seunghyun looked confused but never the less took the coffee and placed it within his grip causing a wave of warmth to hit him.

“You look like you want to talk...” Seunghyun said slowly and softly causing Jiyong to look down from the man to the floor in withheld manner.

“Erm, well – Am I in your way? I feel like I've taken over your house, your life – and I don't know how comfortable you are with it...” Jiyong said before a hand patted the top of his softly.

“Would I be here now, If I didn't want you be in my life? Would I have driven here at 3 in the morning just to see if you're okay, if I didn't care?” Seunghyun's words almost shocked Jiyong.

“I wanted you to get better, evidently you are, and you being around, it helped me too Jiyong – before you moved in, I was just as lost as you.” Seunghyun admitted causing Jiyong's eyes to water. Seunghyun leant down to grab the youngers hand, watching him getting emotional and pulled him up.

“Let's walk” Seunghyun said softly, dragging Jiyong behind him after picking up their belongings. Jiyong's mind became clouded but through all of the confusion and hurt he still endured Seunghyun was the light at the end of the tunnel, his protective barrier, the person that kept him hoping and clinging to life. It was raining lightly outside, but Jiyong had an unbrella tucked in his bag, he pulled it out before Seunghyun took it softly from his grip. Jiyong looked up at the older man as he sheltered the both of them.

“Don't look so shocked” He laughed softly. “I'm taller, so it's easier” He added causing Jiyong to smile and look at Seunghyun in admiration as they walked along Han river. They watched the raindrops fall into the river fast and hard as they walked at a steady pace, not really bothered by the bad weather because due to the bad weather, the world seemed empty. The breeze was harsh and it sent shivers though Jiyong's body, The older male noticed and sighed, taking his scarf off, stopping before walking in front of Jiyong.

“Hold the umbrella for a moment” He said causing Jiyong to look at him before complying and holding the umbrella. Seunghyun wrapped his scarf around Jiyong's neck causing the younger male to feel more warmth.

“Ah, Seunghyunnie really can be the affectionate type.” Jiyong teased before handing him back the umbrella; Seunghyun grinned whist laughing subtly as they continued walking.

“Everything I do is normally because of my feelings, people just don't realise – but how would they? Subtle actions don't get appreciated normally, but you always seem to notice” Seunghyun smiled slightly.

“I'm observant to say the least – or rather, I read into things too much or sometimes – not at all.” Jiyong replied honestly. Jiyong suddenly got rain falling on his shoulder causing him to grip tightly on Seunghyun, holding his arm as they walked.
 

“Ah~ I've got rain all over me” Jiyong whined and all Seunghyun could do was smile, smile because right now he felt happier than he had in a very, very long time and as they walked down the river with the sun rising, he wishes that these moments would forever stay fresh in his mind.

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