I jump on to my bed. Covering my body with blanket. And I let my tears comes down to my face. I touch my face. Trying to feel every single inches my burning cheeks. I didn’t know if my Mother would slapped me on the face eventhough I don’t understand why she did that to me.

I close my eyes.

I need him.

Do Kyungsoo. Where are you, Oppa?

And now, i can feel my lips bleeding.

I force myself to sleep. But I can’t. My eyes kept telling me to still awake. And right, as my eyes awakening, all parts of my body are awakening too. Eavedropping on my parent’s conversation down stairs.

“Even though you hate her so much, but you don’t have to slap her, like that.”

“But...”

“I know I know... we can’t blame her because what just happened. We’ve tried our best. I’ve tried my best to help him. But, God wants him back. So let it be. And now, she is the only one we have.”

“I hate her so much...”

“I know. I hate her too. If it not because of his choice, we should never saw her in our life. But, he choosed her.”

“He is not her. They are different!”

“Mom... please. Calm down. Don’t let her know about this. Let’s prepare for his funeral. Come on, honey. It’s too painful for her. I beg you.”

Now, what? What are they talking about? Me? what’s wrong? And what funeral? I don’t understand. Oh God. I hope everything is gonna be okay. and please, take care of my brother, he is more precious than me.

At Hospital

A doctor entered the hospital in hurry after being called in for an urgent surgery. He answered the call asap, changed his clotches and went directly to surgergy room.

He found the son’s father pacing in the hall waiting for him. On seeing him, the Father yells, “Why did you take all this time to come? Don’t you know that my son’s life is in danger? Don’t you have any sense of responsibilities? How dare you to be a doctor?!”

The doctor smiles and says, “I’m sorry. I wasn’t in the hospital. I come as fast as I could after receiving the call... and now please, would you mind to sit down there and calm yourself first then i do my job to help your son?”, the doctor trying his best to calm down this Father’s madness

“Calm? You said calm? How you supposed me to be calm in this situation?! What if it wasn’t my son but your son in that room? Can you still smile and calm in this situation?!”, that Father’s son pushing the doctor’s body. But the doctor still put his best smile on his face

“Please... can you trust me this once? I can not do my job if you still angry to me. But, listen to me... i will do everything i can, i will try my best for your son. With help of nurses and doctors, but please, i beg you, please you’d stay calm and pray. Whatever the result is, please... both of you, please accept it. We are trying our best. Everything in God’s hands.”

“Giving advises when we are not concerned is so easy.”, murmured the Father

The surgery took some hours after which the doctor went out happy, “Oh THANK GOD! YOUR SON IS SAVED!”, without waiting for the Father’s reply he carried on his way running, “If you have any questions! Ask the nurses!!”

“What’s wrong with him? He just left after the surgery is done. I’m not even asking him yet about my son’s state.”, commences the Father when seeing the nurses minutes after the doctor left

The nurse answered, tears coming down her face, “His son died yesterday because some people attacked him on purpose until he died. He was at the burial when we called him for your son’s surgery. And now, that he saved your son’s life, he left running to finish his son’s buried.”

The Father feel ashamed as he heard those nurse’s word. He did’t know if the doctor had been through a lot of things today. He feel wronged and sorry. He grab the nurse’s wrist before she walk away, “Can I ask you a question?”

At burial

“Mom, where are we going?”, asked Krystal. She was wearing her best black dress for funeral events. She had no idea what is going on that day. Mother just grabbing Krystal’s right wrist tightly and crying as she walking closer toward those people who were standing in circle wearing all black suits and dresses.

“Mom, tells me...”

As they almost reached that crowd place, someone notices them and told everyone to gave them some space to walked closer then. Krystal seeing his Father standing next to gravestone, holding the folded-tissue, wiping his tears. After she saw her Father, her Mother run as fast as she could to her husband and hug him tightly. Crying in her husband’s embraced

Slowly, Krystal took off her sunglasses, trying to make her vision clear in this sunny day. She walking closer and closer, everyone looking at her, watching her with a sorrow gaze, her parents couldn’t help to stop crying.

Suddenly, Krsytal stopped her walk as she stood right in front of that grave. She was trying to spell out the name that has been written on the gravestone. One tiny tears comes down her face, and let the other tears coming through from her beautiful eyes.

Then, she was standing next to gravestone down to her knees, touching the name that has been printed on gravestone with gold-colored, she touched them one by one, everything just feel wrong. Each letter of that name, bring her down to her darkness time. Remember everything she has been through. She doesn’t know how to continue her life without him beside her, protected her with all his strength. She knew, he is not that strong. But he was. His heart was strong. Stronger than everything in this world. Right after one week she celebrated her sweet17th.

And now, everything makes sense to me.

The one who should die, is me... not him.

You granted a wrong wishes, God