“Ako nang lalapit para sa atin.”

"I've always loved you Jessica. But, you were right. You don't deserve me. I'm sorry. You just lost someone who would risk her life for you." I grabbed my coat at the sofa's hand rest and then said the words I've never expected for me to say.  "You just lost the one who truly loves you." Then I walked out of the dorm.

I don’t really know where to go I just let my feet take me nowhere, somewhere far away from her.

‘This has got to be the worst pain I have ever felt.’ I thought and chuckled bitterly. I laughed at how ironic the situation is, I loved her so damn much, I loved her more than I loved myself. Why wouldn’t she love me instead?

I was so lost in pain I didn’t notice I was standing in front of a park then I went to sit at the swing.

“You’re such a fool Kwon Yuri…” I said. “How can you fall for her so bad?”

I cannot determine if I was laughing or sobbing. I cannot determine if I was angry or sad.

“Yuri unnie…” someone called out but I know very well who owns that voice.

I wiped away the tears, cleared my throat, and breathed in the snot and air.

“Oh Yoona-yah, why are you out here? I thought you were sleeping already?” I asked still not looking back at her.

I was shocked to feel her arms wrap around my waist.

“It’s okay unnie, you’ll be fine.” she said while gently my arms and still back-hugging me.

That sentence alone brought back torrential amount of tears.

Letting go of me, she stood in front to wipe my tears and bring my head to lean on her shoulders. She caressed my back and whispered “Cry it all out unnie. You’ll be fine, I’m here for you and I’m never going away, I promise.”

“I don’t think I’d be able to love ever again Yoona.” I said my voice muffled, I felt her disagree with me by nodding her head no.

---

After that night, Jessica moved out of our dorm but it did nothing to lessen the pain I felt.

Every waking day I tire myself out, I worked on bringing back the independent Yuri who was long forgotten ever since Jessica became my world, my life.

I started going out with my other female friends again.

I learned a harder level of yoga.

I practiced swimming, boxing, kickboxing, fencing, and learned horseback riding again.

I busied myself in hopes that it would make me forget her.

Every waking day, Yoona was there to look after me. She was there to wait for me to come back to the dorm no matter how tired she is.

It was our daily routine, until one night Yoona casually told me “Yuri-unnie, let’s date.”

To say that I was surprised was an understatement. I was VERY bewildered and VERY surprised that it showed on my face.

“I… I don’t know Yoona.” I answered honestly. “This is… I didn’t expect this, I… I’m not ready for this.”

“Don’t get me wrong Yoona, I’m over her… I’m over Jessica. I’m just worried because I don’t know where this will take us. What if, we don’t work out?” I panicked not giving her time to speak, what made me stop was the look she had on her face.

She was sad but most of all, she was disappointed.

“I… I’m sorry Yoona…” I said my voice cracking. “I didn’t mean~”

“It’s okay unnie, you don’t have to force yourself. Just take your time.” She said as she left me in our room.

It was sad that I have moved on with m